₦airaland Forum

UjuJoan2:
If you story is true then support your actions. A lot of women marry for money because they think it’s the only way to endure a marriage. When the money is no longer there, they have nothing to console them in the marriage anymore.

Personally I don’t mind contributing money for the family upkeep, even upto 50%. I also don’t mind picking up all the bills when the man is down financially.

But I will not do it for a man that has treated me badly or held his financial superiority over me like a weapon. Also, I will not do it for a man that doesn’t help with house work because “he provides”. If you think chores are a woman’s responsibility, then you need to pay the bills yourself , because a woman cannot do both!

Once again I agree........I treat her badly by providing food,shelter,setting up a business for her,paying house bills,accommodating her 2 siblings for 2yrs etc.

I don't do anything in the house I just wake up
She brush my teeth, she wash my ass after using the toilet, dress me up, spoon feed me and I go out.....when I come back she does same everyday....lol

Am a lazy log of wood that does absolutely nothing in the house apart from providing money.

Pecoleee345:
You are right............I only provide money and treat my wife like a slave.
Infact when I use the rest room I call.her to come clean my ass.....lol.

Like I always say ***you women are always the victim**

Lol...
Sarcasm on beast mode

100%

UjuJoan2:
If you story is true then support your actions. A lot of women marry for money because they think it’s the only way to endure a marriage. When the money is no longer there, they have nothing to console them in the marriage anymore.

Personally I don’t mind contributing money for the family upkeep, even upto 50%. I also don’t mind picking up all the bills when the man is down financially.

But I will not do it for a man that has treated me badly or held his financial superiority over me like a weapon. Also, I will not do it for a man that doesn’t help with house work because “he provides”. If you think chores are a woman’s responsibility, then you need to pay the bills yourself , because a woman cannot do both!

Pecoleee345:
Once again I agree........I treat her badly by providing food,shelter,setting up a business for her,paying house bills,accommodating her 2 siblings for 2yrs etc.

I don't do anything in the house I just wake up
She brush my teeth, she wash my ass after using the toilet, dress me up, spoon feed me and I go out.....when I come back she does same everyday....lol

Am a lazy log of wood that does absolutely nothing in the house apart from providing money.

No need to get defensive, I was speaking generally, not necessarily referring to you.

But if the shoe fits . . . .

advanceDNA:
I really don't care if she lying or saying the truth........Its just weird to me that a man will just resign....(though she has explained why he did so down in the thread)

she can either make the best out of the situation because if the tables were to turn, i don't think the husband will refuse to fvck his wife or divorce her because she doesn't have a job..

And if she feels she doesn't want to support him till he can get his game back...she should divorce him.....because it clear she already feels he won't get better....(which can change any day)

You clearly have never met a deadbeat man!

Pecoleee345:
You are right............I only provide money and treat my wife like a slave.
Infact when I use the rest room I call.her to come clean my ass.....lol.

Like I always say ***you women are always the victim**

Only women who make themselves victims are really victims. Women who stand up for themselves are wicked, evil and disrespectful. This life no balance!

UjuJoan2:
No need to get defensive, I was speaking generally, not necessarily referring to you.

But if the shoe fits . . . .

Defensive....lol

Once again.........it always the men fault.

No be today.

UjuJoan2:
Only women who make themselves victims are really victims. Women who stand up for themselves are wicked, evil and disrespectful. This life no balance!

Back your stand up with actions........feel free to walk out of marriages with jobless men and men too should start doing same.
Let see who loses more.....is that easy


You don't want us to have conversation who is the real lazy,deathbeat and jobless between the two gender in marriage.

UjuJoan2:
Only women who make themselves victims are really victims. Women who stand up for themselves are wicked, evil and disrespectful. This life no balance!

Uju, I'm afraid I have to disagree with your above statement and, I am a man and encourage women to stand up for themselves, I have never for once, seen that as evil or disrespectful. I am not that guy who is hung up on respect. I will encourage all women to be financially independent before venturing into marriage or any serious relationship commitment.

Pecoleee345:
Anyway we ain't this for the first time.........women will always be women.
A man takes care of the house bills for years just few months of not been able to the whole world see him as useless cos the wife will trash talk him.

There are good women and only few men are lucky to have them.

I have experience this first hand and I know how it feels but I thank God today am back on my feet and she now knows her place.

You will labor,feed,house someone for years all the name of marriage and just few months you ain't able to pay bills then you are called lazy and useless.
Same person will now expect you to keep spending on her after you bounce back.....lol


Marriage isn't by force , you free to divorce and leave for a better man.

You didn't read where he intentionally resigned from his job? He intentionally made himself jobless. Not the same as losing your job

.

.

Pecoleee345:
Once again I agree........I treat her badly by providing food,shelter,setting up a business for her,paying house bills,accommodating her 2 siblings for 2yrs etc.

I don't do anything in the house I just wake up
She brush my teeth, she wash my ass after using the toilet, dress me up, spoon feed me and I go out.....when I come back she does same everyday....lol

Am a lazy log of wood that does absolutely nothing in the house apart from providing money.

Hmmmmmm. Women dey suffer. Imagine

1Sharon:
You didn't read where he intentionally resigned from his job? He intentionally made himself jobless. Not the same as losing your job

She should file for divorce........no need for too much talk.

So many men out there like this in Abuja.
You will even fuel their cars. Cars you bought. He is the landlord of the house you built. Who willeven know cos society is cruel to women who decided enough is enough.

Lovecode89:
Alright

At the end of the day, you know your husband better than anyone here, so whatever you decide is up to you.

Pecoleee345:
Back your stand up with actions........feel free to walk out of marriages with jobless men and men too should start doing same.
Let see who loses more.....is that easy


You don't want us to have conversation who is the real lazy,deathbeat and jobless between the two gender in marriage.

But that’s where you are getting it wrong. Your duty is to provide, while the woman’s duty is to manage the home. at least that’s what we were all raised to believe, and therefore the reason why men leave all house chores for women to handle.

So if you are walking out, do it because she doesn’t Cook or clean or take care of take care of the kids, not because of money. That one is your duty.

No man sees cooking or cleaning as his job, and if he does it he assumes he’s “helping” his wife. You guys made the rules, our parents stuck to it and had long healthy marriage. Now you are crying foul because you don’t want to provide again. And we understand because the economy is hard and you cannot always predict how things may go financially for you. But make no mistake about it, you are doing your duty when you provide, not a favour.

descarado:
So many men out there like this in Abuja.
You will even fuel their cars. Cars you bought. He is the landlord of the house you built. Who willeven know cos society is cruel to women who decided enough is enough.

Sad reality.

Sapasenator:
Uju, I'm afraid I have to disagree with your above statement and, I am a man and encourage women to stand up for themselves, I have never for once, seen that as evil or disrespectful. I am not that guy who is hung up on respect. I will encourage all women to be financially independent before venturing into marriage or any serious relationship commitment.

Maybe you are the one in a million!

Lovecode89:
Exactly and that's what will give me the mind to walk away. A man that loves can't stay idle watching his family go hungry. I grew up seeing my Dad and Mum, working so hard to provide for us.
I'm not a lazy young woman, otherwise, we would have been suffering.

I hope you know it’s not you, it’s him!!! Even if he married someone else he will still behave the same way. Some men are just mentally lazy and naturally mediocre, there’s nothing you can do about that.

You can walk away if it gets too much for you, or you can stay and find a way to live your life without letting him exploit you still.

UjuJoan2:
But that’s where you are getting it wrong. Your duty is to provide, while the woman’s duty is to manage the home. at least that’s what we were all raised to believe, and therefore the reason why men leave all house chores for women to handle.

So if you are walking out, do it because she doesn’t Cook or clean or take care of take care of the kids, not because of money. That one is your duty.

No man sees cooking or cleaning as his job, and if he does it he assumes he’s “helping” his wife. You guys made the rules, our parents stuck to it and had long healthy marriage. Now you are crying foul because you don’t want to provide again. And we understand because the economy is hard and you cannot always predict how things may go financially for you. But make no mistake about it, you are doing your duty when you provide, not a favour.

So now we are back to duties .......wife no more been slaves cooking etc.

You are very good at shifting goal post......this isnt 1980's were men leave house duties to women.

You sound ridiculous whenever you make look like men don't do anything in the house apart from providing.....is cooking and cleaning the only duties in the house ??

Who wanted gender equality...day dan break now eye dan clear we should follow our parents pattern of marriage.....lol

The difference what we tolerate you women can't tolerate have of it and is becos if we complain people will see us less a man.

We men go through alot in marriage.....do you know how men are out there despite providing there wife dont still cook for them?
Once they make a demand and you don't meet it next thing is to weaponise sex and not cooking.
Y'all always think every women is a saint....until it happens to your sons or male relatives.

Once again she is free to walk out of the marriage no need for too much talk.

Magicalsineros:
Stop defending inresponsibilty.
There's a great difference between someone who loss his job and making effort to do any little thing to support his family.
The next guy wouldn't be that way. Because he will put on effort to keep her. If that's what you're trying to hear.

How are you sure the next guy won't even turn out worse than the husband? The grass isn't always greener at the other side. She should just leave the man and see how she can take care of the children not desperately going into the next arms she sees.

Op you should leave your husband for some time till whenever he decides to stop being lazy to fend for you guys. A man is meant to be a provider not a liability. I suspect he's into betting.

UjuJoan2:
That’s what you men say to keep a woman in bodnage. This is why women have stayed in dysfunctional marriage and suffer from mental health problems.

Imagine leaving upkeep to a woman for years, that is pure torture!!!

He who wears the shoe know where ira pinching!

Anyway, just beware of HIV/STDs, It's your life.

BronzeTiger:
How are you sure the next guy won't even turn out worse than the husband? The grass isn't always greener at the other side. She should just leave the man and see how she can take care of the children not desperately going into the next arms she sees.

You can never know until you try. Alot of women think all men are bad/ the same. They subconsciously assume all men are like their current partner.
Until you meet a man who loves, adore you and make you feel beautiful just the way you are, you will never know what you're missing.

Pecoleee345:
So now we are back to duties .......wife no more been slaves cooking etc.

You are very good at shifting goal post......this isnt 1980's were men leave house duties to women.

You sound ridiculous whenever you make look like men don't do anything in the house apart from providing.....is cooking and cleaning the only duties in the house ??

Who wanted gender equality...day dan break now eye dan clear we should follow our parents pattern of marriage.....lol

The difference what we tolerate you women can't tolerate have of it and is becos if we complain people will see us less a man.

We men go through alot in marriage.....do you know how men are out there despite providing there wife dont still cook for them?
Once they make a demand and you don't meet it next thing is to weaponise sex and not cooking.
Y'all always think every women is a saint....until it happens to your sons or male relatives.

Once again she is free to walk out of the marriage no need for too much talk.

I will be careful replying you because I can see your comments are coming from a place of real hurt.

But like i told this poster, you can also leave if you are unhappy. Trust once broken is hard to rebuild. I don’t know what happened in your marriage, and I’m not trying to absolve your wife of any fault. I’m just saying this poster is going through hell right now too, and you trying to compare your experience to hers is just not fair.

condensedmilk:
Anyway, just beware of HIV/STDs, It's your life.

Even women in marriages are contracting life threatening diseases from their husbands, so what’s your point?

You men will say anything to keep up your scare tactics!

UjuJoan2:
I will be careful replying you because I can see your comments are coming from a place of real hurt.

But like i told this poster, you can also leave if you are unhappy. Trust once broken is hard to rebuild. I don’t know what happened in your marriage, and I’m not trying to absolve your wife of any fault. I’m just saying this poster is going through hell right now too, and you trying to compare your experience to hers is just not fair.

Place of hurt?? Cos am been blunt??

Get married first before dabbing into things you know absolutely nothing about.

All Marriage have it stormy periods........Op has a married woman should know that and a single lady like you shouldn't be advising her.

Pecoleee345:
Place of hurt?? Cos am been blunt??

Get married first before dabbing into things you know absolutely nothing about.

All Marriage have it stormy periods........Op has a married woman should know that and a single lady like you shouldn't be advising her.

What’s the big deal about being married? You are here crying about your marriage, and at the same time trying to belittle someone you think is not married? Even if I’m not married, I have common sense naaa.

I’ve been married for far longer than you have, so trust me when I say, I get it!

UjuJoan2:
What’s the big deal about being married? You are here crying about your marriage, and at the same time trying to belittle someone you think is not married? Even if I’m not married, I have common sense naaa.

I’ve been married for far longer than you have, so trust me when I say, I get it!

Ehya happy 30yrs anniversary in marriage.

Common sense says Only a married niccompoop will give judgment based on one side story without asking questions.
If am crying about my marriage here is it your cry?? Abi I come meet you for advise or open threads on NL about my marriage??

Being married is bleeping big deal and only married people knows.....Only someone in a shitty marriage will say otherwise.

UjuJoan2:
What’s the big deal about being married? You are here crying about your marriage, and at the same time trying to belittle someone you think is not married? Even if I’m not married, I have common sense naaa.

I’ve been married for far longer than you have, so trust me when I say, I get it!

You have not said anything wrong or worthy of being agitated over.

He is truly angry with his wife and taking it out on you and op rather than pour it all out on her. He is going to erupt big time one day if he does not deal with it now.

Now to the issue, as you lay your bed so shall you lie on it.

FayaBall:
You have not said anything wrong or worthy of being agitated over.

He is truly angry with his wife and taking it out on you and op rather than pour it all out on her. He is going to erupt big time one day if he does not deal with it now.

Now to the issue, as you lay your bed so shall you lie on it.

True!!!