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Pemmy15's Posts

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Family / Re: See Couple's 11-year Old Poem Book That Has Helped Their Marriage by Pemmy15: 5:43pm On Oct 27, 2017
I wish there was a love button...thanks for sharing and for the advice...should be fp to counter all the "scary" marriage stuff that always makes the fp.

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Family / Re: Traditional Marriage Alone Not Authentic by Pemmy15: 4:34pm On Oct 09, 2017
The Marriage Act of Nigeria does recognize traditional or customary marriage as legal marriages and under such you are just as "protected" as you would be having done any other ceremony (i.e. court or church)...with the exception of the bigamy law because obviously with traditional beliefs you can have multiple wives. Even with that trust naija men sha if they want more than one "wife" it won't matter how you were married.
But yes even courts (even immigration) acknowledges the legality of customary marriages and will award child support etc. The problem comes in the proving that you're married as you typically don't have documents of trads...that's where women end up being burned. The solution is just as a poster said above. Have an affidavit done that serves as a legally binding certificate.
I've researched this extensively because I am planning on just having a trad and have our pastor bless the union...but I personally find all the other stuff over kill and an unnecessary expense... getting married three times! Really undecided

2 Likes

Romance / Re: 10 Times Nigerian Men Married Foreign Women. by Pemmy15: 10:01pm On Sep 15, 2017
introvertedsoul:
Where is the sense in this thread abeg?
People marry foreigners daily.


It seems with a couple of exceptions mostly to continue to laugh at and mock them undecided
Family / Re: 8th Wedding Anniversary Celebration Of A Nairalander (Photos) by Pemmy15: 3:22pm On Sep 12, 2017
toluxa1:
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary. Today is our own 1 MONTH ANNIVERSARY!


Beautiful pics!! smiley Happy one month...may your months turn into years and may your years turn into decades in Jesus name!

1 Like

Family / Re: 8th Wedding Anniversary Celebration Of A Nairalander (Photos) by Pemmy15: 3:20pm On Sep 12, 2017
Op, happy anniversary and many, many more to come. You have a beautiful family to be proud of....do hope it keeps expanding and growing if that's what you want grin

As a side people can be so rude under the guise of honesty...Op posted for congratulatory wishes on their anniversary not for a critique of the physical attributes of him, his wife or any member of his family...and you'll be wondering why your marriages won't last 8 months talk less of 8 years when you're tripping so hard on the superficial.

Op, saw a piece of art in a friend's house that said - choose the one you love, love the one you choose. I pray that you guys strive daily to choose love, and that loves grows with each passing year till we'll be celebrating your 50 year anniversary with party rice and maltina grin

2 Likes

Romance / Re: The Unique Perks Of Dating An Older Woman by Pemmy15: 2:16pm On Sep 11, 2017
luminouz:

Lmaoooooo
Pounded yam n egusi soup!!!!

Done haha! Mama will be making plenty of that as well as groundnut - my fave tongue
Romance / Re: The Unique Perks Of Dating An Older Woman by Pemmy15: 7:02am On Sep 11, 2017
luminouz:

OK....Pemmy...we have heard u ooooooooo!!!
Ur older than ur fiance n u guys are getting hitched later this year.....just send me I.V.....na wetin I wan tell u be that!!! grin

Hahaha...don't mind me jare...come chop rice and drink - - what's your poison of choice we'll have plenty of it cheesy
Romance / Re: The Unique Perks Of Dating An Older Woman by Pemmy15: 6:31pm On Sep 10, 2017
Lol @ people who presume to know the mind of God...when God doesn't want you to do something he tells you (I.e. Adultury, fornication, lying, stealing, etc)...even smoking as He has told us that our body is a temple and not to put anything in it that is addictive or harmful which we know cigarettes to be. When it comes to marriage and specifically who a man should marry He has been just as clear - Proverbs 31...not once is age mentioned and its a stretch to think that submission is tied to age when there are so many examples to show otherwise. Stop confusing cultural norms with Biblical truth.

1 Like

Romance / Re: The Unique Perks Of Dating An Older Woman by Pemmy15: 2:56am On Sep 10, 2017
Dwayne Wade and Gabby U are my relationship spirit animals...I'm all for a little How Stella Got Her Groove Back...my fiancé (we're holding our trad at the later this year) is 8 years younger than me but I respect him as a man and he's pretty mature and far from lazy. Most of the comments...typically from men show a huge shallowness of thinking tho..."the woman will age like milk", "it's all about the d for her or money for him"� no wonder relationships don't last cause you people can't reason beyond sex or money. 35 years ago my dad met and married my mum who is 5 years his senior...he's a typical yoruba man but he looked beyond her age and saw what he needed to build a happy family...med school for both of them and two kids later they're still going strong. I pray the same for my soon to be hubby and I. Anyway, the couples I know in the same boat, granted they're mostly younger nigerian men to older foreign women, but they look good together...they match and seem to be making it work...and I say God bless em!

Romance / Re: Towards Commitment In Relationships by Pemmy15: 10:34pm On Aug 27, 2017
staying true to your commitment is a matter of integrity - doing what is right even when no one is watching and you may not benefit from it....why we see so little of people honoring commitments? Cause fewer and fewer people will do what benefits others instead of themselves.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Gals Can You Marry Someone Below Your Age? by Pemmy15: 8:45pm On Aug 27, 2017
I have from 2 yrs younger to 10...gabby u is my shero �...don't see anything wrong if ya on d same page, have common goals and interests...it's wateva

1 Like

Romance / Re: If Love Is Not Enough For Marriage, What Is? by Pemmy15: 8:14pm On Jun 05, 2017
Proudlyngwa:


Leave that talk, traditional marriage and by extension family is dying. What we have are union of people with mutual interests living together this days, yes a very high percentage of marriages are still stable, but when the divorce rate is logarithmical and time is linear, know that a very dangerous trend is kicking in.

Before you marry, you need to sit down and outline your plan for a married life, if you are marrying for love, sorry for you. Remember sacrifice and commitments are key.

I don't completely agree...guess I'll remain optimistic despite the logarithmical and linear "facts". I do agree with your last paragraph... definitely outline your plan for a married life and how you will handle stressors. Sacrifice and commitment are key in addition to love...even in marriages of yesterday there was love...just wasn't the only thing.
Romance / Re: If Love Is Not Enough For Marriage, What Is? by Pemmy15: 7:57pm On Jun 05, 2017
Proudlyngwa:


Forget about love in marriage, it fluctuates.
Marriage is about sacrifice, commitment and respect foremost.

Unfortunately marriage as we know it is dead.

Na mehn, don't say that...I think it's still possible. Just depends on the people. I have many friends in healthy strong marriages. I think that what we see in media skews our reality.
Romance / Re: If Love Is Not Enough For Marriage, What Is? by Pemmy15: 7:55pm On Jun 05, 2017
Idk but to me I think both people should have strong work ethic, strong sense of responsibility, and strong sense of commitment. You have those traits as well as love and you have a formula for working through hard times, understanding that it's more than just a matter of "being" in love and a willingness to honor the vow and vision you have even when you change or feel less "in love"...when I ask couples who've been married 20, 30 years they say that there were times they didn't like each other or didn't feel "in love" with each other but they honored the vow and worked to get back to those feelings (that's different than those who just endure bad marriages for the sake of saying they stayed together but make no effort to improve their marriage). Btw...no one should be #relationshipgoals till they've crossed the 20 year mark imo. You don't get to the Golden years by accident or luck...it doesn't just work out for them. They worked it out so that's why I think a strong work ethic is key. You see all these get rich quick n easy guys bet they'll view marriage the same way.
Romance / Re: Is It Right For A Guy To Pay My Partner's Flight Ticket ? by Pemmy15: 6:54pm On Jun 05, 2017
robotix:
oh my brother, I completely understand... do not spill the beans. I am in same shoes as yourself. I am also tired, I am fed up. I have had series of thought not to even marry. The strangest thing is that they don't like a guy who treats them right... THEY DON'T forget anyone who would come here and tell you otherwise.

From your past post and recent ones, I can deduce you Mr. Nice guy, the kind they don't appreciate. Shall we now turn monsters and start deceiving them? Certainly not!

To be honest, I have given up on them.

There are many that do appreciate nice guys, but tbh I think even nice guys often run for bad girls just like good girls often run after bad guys. I see many good guys overlook substance for what's on sight. Don't be discouraged, take heart, use caution and keep being yourself if you truly are a good guy. Patience will be your best friend.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Is It Right For A Guy To Pay My Partner's Flight Ticket ? by Pemmy15: 6:47pm On Jun 05, 2017
WebSurfer:


This is my problem . I have tried my best but maybe it is not good enough. Or maybe the surrounding I find myself. But I'm really tired

Really sorry. You need to take a step back and honestly evaluate both your surroundings and the people in it. You're lucky that you have the chance to do it before you make major choices. Don't feel discouraged...just use it as a learning opportunity and proceed with caution. There are plenty of good men and women out there despite what you read on nairaland and social media...don't be cynical but don't rush it. You'll meet the one that's right for you.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Is It Right For A Guy To Pay My Partner's Flight Ticket ? by Pemmy15: 3:51pm On Jun 05, 2017
Sorry eh...you seem like a decent and serious minded guy...truly her loss, but good you got a clearer picture of her before walking down the aisle. I always wonder why good guys always end up with the wrong kind of women and good girls end up with heartbreakers, and then their experience will end up changing them. It takes the grace of God for two good and well suited people to find each other...I swear. Maybe considering you just came out of a broken engagement and now this you should take time before starting another relationship...like reevaluate your type cos maybe you're attracting the same type that doesn't really suit you and what you're seeking.
Romance / Re: See These Requirements Of What A Nigerian Man Wants In His Future Wife by Pemmy15: 11:30am On May 24, 2017
Mrop:
Is this even achievable in one woman? I don’t think
so. See below…




Source :: http://www.praizeblog.com/2017/05/see-these-unachievable-requirements-of.html?m=0


Cc lalasticlala fynestboi

Haha...it sounds like a tongue in check response to the lady who posted the same a few days ago...some of the same requirements. In fact somebody should connect em...I await their pre-wedding pics on the fp...hml to them in advance lol.

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