₦airaland Forum

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

That number 2 is non negotiable for men

I can't stand entitlement mentality

Once I smell it I'm off. No space for second chances sef

Still av

Sa

pansophist:
Instant divorce.

Women's madness is limited when she knows well that you won't tolerate, and even leave if she continues. Lots of men really do not value their contribution in a marriage, hence a woman is assured that he will stay even if she act like a total b!tch. Nothing, I mean nothing puts a woman in check when she knows well that her man has options and will leave when she starts being mad.

Op, you did well. Your peace of mind is better should be above all things. If she can't carry her own weight (by keeping her emotions in check and just be a good person), then you must not carry it for her. Infact you insult yourself if you do.

This marriage wahala ehnn

Make person just involve God because if not

Na wahala you dey find....................................

Still av

Sa

I feel like taking my life everyday

For me, To sleep is better than to be awake

At least I get temporary relief from living an empty unfulfilled life

Until I wake up again and have to relieve the nightmare.

Now national grid don collapse. The darkness go add to my semi depression.

Op forgot Eastern brown snake

Still av

Sa

Still av

Sa

I don forget my first love my ex

She get too many issues abeg

Not worth remembering

Still av

Sa

Sa

Still av

Sa

Still av

Sa

Still av

Sa

Still av

I thank God it failed

Immature and quarrelsome

It's better to be single than to be with someone like that

Sa

Still av

Sa

Still av

Sa

Still av

ageraGT:
A little history…I’m 28, divorced with two young kids, they live at home. He is 37, divorced with one teenage. Here is my dilemma…. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy.

You wait and pray for there to be a good guy left on this earth and finally one comes along and you find him boring or at least not challenging.

What is that? Am I crazy?

He is completely into me. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We’ve been dating two months. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. It was okay, not mind-blowing or anything. I’ve had much better, but I’ve had much worse with the wrong guys too. He’s relatively attractive but not my usual type or taste.

Am I being picky because I think my boyfriend is boring? Any other woman would think he is a great catch. I think so as well but just…I don’t know why I can’t get into him.

He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. wants to make me happy and for me to be his “girlfriend” and I can just tell the L word is coming along any day now. I can just tell and trust me, I’m not wrong on this.

Another bit of history…

So he usually gets involved with psychos that latch on to him. That is – the complete opposite of me. I like my space and I don’t care if I never see you again. Guys come and go but my family, especially my kids, are forever. It’s one of the mottos I live by. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. A guy in my life is “nice to have” but by no means a need. I think I’m a challenge for him, which is fine. But on my side of things it’s too easy.

From experience, happily ever after doesn’t exist. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when they’re dating but who’s to say he’ll stay like that? Am I just confused and not giving him a real chance? Or is just the reverse that I’m just not into him? Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward?

Can you give some advice on this? I have no idea what to do.
No insults please.
Thank you.

Please release Baba o

Make he find person Wey go appreciate am

When you find bad boy Wey go turn you to punching bag

Na that time your head go reset

Sa