That's an alligator! You can tell from the shape of the head. Crocodiles have skinnier head.

Not a very smart idea! If you notice from the pictures the cellphone lane is closest to the road/traffic. Why not make it the inner lane?

Windows 8 is not that bad. If you are having problems navigating through programs, all you need to do is search for whichever program you want in the start menu. And also know where your desktop icon is on the start menu.

Tobbie9: @op u forgot d 1st rule of being a man which is to never explicitly trust any woman except ur mother, I'm sure you've learned

But you have to trust your partner completely in a relationship, that is what love is built on "trust". She wasn't a side chick she was my girl.

larride:

My brother, just ditch that bi.tch and move on, she's only trying to make you feel guilty, the more you keep thinking about it the more it will hurt, so just clear your mind and see a new beginning, she's not worth all the stress.

Thanks man

Thanks for your comments guys, i am reading every one of them. However i won't be able to respond to all your replies. But I am learning a lot and it is good to hear opinions from people who are neutral in this situation.

Her main excuse for sending those names to her mum is because she felt like our relationship wasn't working. She said I always spoke to her in a derogatory manner. So why not just break up with me and start afresh rather than keep me to urself and when u feel u have something else secured you say adios amigo.

I really appreciate your comments, not only will it help me and inform/educate her. It will also benefit others that might be victims of this MOG match making stuff in the future.

I am pretty sure she is reading all these cos i see some guests viewing this thread and she doesn't have a nairaland account so she is most likely seeing all this.

Shankboye: Sorry bro, I go bash u small, u ready? Ok! Can't u guys do stuffs with ur five good senses without not attaching a religion? Well, since u believe in ur religion, it means u have to move on, what if d pastor had picked u, den the man would have been good MOG but now dat d table turned on u, u ar making noise.. Ur babe carry names go pastor place, dat alone na minus for me.. I don't understand hw u guys think, so disaapointed in u and for d fact dat u ar not living in nigeria and u still reason dis way, shame on u! Use ur senses always, don't let nobody push u around

You didn't read my post well bro. I am a christian and I believe in God. Bro. i don't reason that way at all and i don't believe in people praying for praying for life partners for others in the name of perfect match making. She didn't get my consent before she sent names out for prayers, if not i would have ended our relationship there and then.

I entertain criticism so please you don't have to be on my side. Just keep it honest.


Thanks for your input.

Finestlex: To the best of my knowledge, women has the problem of indecision.. if she's really in love with you, she wouldn't have had a list of other folks interested in her.. Which makes you an alternative.. how can she consider to make someone she has never met an option of Marriage.so what if it doesn't work out with the Malaysian dude, she'll either fall back to you or consider another applicant with a lotto (baba ijebu). after the whole display happening now and she finally settles with a man, another prayer warrior/family can still convince her to divorce and marry someone else.. ask her what she really wants, if she's considering other options, take a walk boss

If it doesn't work out she will just have to suck it up. cos i ain't taking her back for sh*t.

duni04:
GBAM! OP your gal was double dating, or even triple dating. Its unfortunate that the OP falls into the class of guys that restrict themselves to just one gal when you should leave your options open to as many people as possible, as long as you're not engaged. As long as you guys weren't engaged, she's free to choose who she wants to eventually marry. But the betrayal of knowing that she opened herself to other options without your knowledge will be understandably upsetting.

The problem is that i don't really have the time to chase girls. Although i go out with friends with her consent and party and meet girls. I don't see why i should be talking to other girls. I don't mean to brag, but i am a good looking guy full of confidence and i don't have problem talking to girls no matter how beautiful they are. However i don't have the strength to start doing james bond stuff...trying to delete my messages so she doesn't see them or avoiding calls when she is around.

The only thing that made me cry was the betrayal.

faakay: You can't force someone to marry you.

Leave her alone and let her please herself.

Why are you in the rush to marry. You are just 24. I know its not easy to let go but you just have to.

You can always begin again.

Its time to move and there's better girls out there waiting for you. Why are you crying? You tears won't solve the problem so wake up and face the reality.

I was never in a rush to marry nor did i think this would lead to marriage before we started dating, but as time passed i just realized that she was someone i wanted to be with for the rest of my life. She was always talking about marriage so i started thinking that way too. I mean we have lived together for a while, i know everything about her and she know everything about me.

There are not many guys my age that will commit fully to a relationship like i did. I never cheated on her once and i never felt the need to cos i really loved her. I put her first before my friends and i protected her from my family.

And lastly there is no way i would walk away from this relationship just because of the fact that i am not ready to settle down. Not being ready to settle might mean i have not found the right person but that's not the case.

De Tus: @Pickle_juice, I am so sorry for what had happened to you. I think the family wants her to get married as soon as possible. Not belonging to the same tribe is a huge drawback. The family is really mindful of what will become their daughter's fate if she settles for you. Do not blame them. It's just a cultural misconception. This can happen to anybody. You're a great guy. Now what you have to do is to wish her well and wipe away your tears. Do not be so downhearted. Second, I believe you can get another chick probably better than her. There are so many single girls out there and they really want to get married as soon as possible too. You might be lucky to get an angel. A pretty chick with so many beautiful qualities. This particular disappointment might be a blessing in disguise for you in future.

Thanks man i appreciate your comment

onastesho: Hello, there's something I want to let you know and its all about the philosophy of life, it depends on your fate anyway. I'm a free thinker, what would go WRONG will go WRONG no matter your efforts. It is easy to get lost in reminisces of the past. It is easy to remember all the good while subconsciously editing out all the not-so-good. And once you get caught up in the fond memories of days gone by, you begin to live in the past and to remove yourself from the present in a way. While there is some benefit to enjoying happy memories and in remembering the lessons you learned from past experiences, the past is not a place where you should live. You need to make more effort in the days ahead at living in the present moment and experiencing it fully. Its gonna be a painfull thing but what belongs to you will surely comes to you. A journey of a thousand year begins with a step, please keep your head straight. Aint here to blame anyone so take care

Word. I appreciate your input. thanks man

kar bridals: I didn't see this before posting.u are both 24,I feel/her parents might feel u are too young to get married being that u are still in school nd again u said u are edo nd they are both igbos so there is less u can do to change things.how possible do u think it will be to finish next year nd get married same year?wldnt u work for some time atleast to save money for ur wedding nd all?what abt ur parents,wldnt they be mad at u that they sent u to school nd all u could think abt abt graduation is marraige?unless the girl is willing to wait some years for u to stand(which her parents might nt allow)

Money is not the issue at all. I can get married with 3 months salary once i'm done with skool, i am going to be an electrical engineer and she will be a nurse. So money is not an issue. We are in a country that once u graduate you will get multiple job offers without even trying. And yes i can finish skool and get married next year. Her biggest fear when it comes to family opinion, is how to overcome her dad refusing his daughter marrying a non igbo. My parents are not fussy at all. I am a man and I can marry whenever i want to. My dad married at age 27 and there marriage turned out to be awesome. so if i marry at 25, its not dat bad.

kar bridals: It seems ur girl nd the malaysian guy are both igbos nd u are not?if that is the case then there might be more to the prayer thing cos igbos don't like to marry guys from other tribes and if really about what the pastor said,how many pastors here in nigeria are real?I think u should bring ur girl to this site,4get about what u have said or what others have said that might hurt here nd make her feel bad when she reads them,she needs to know the bitter truth.the guy in malaysia,what does he do?has she tried to find out cos we know what some of the guys over there(I repeat,some of the guys)?when it starts her parents wldnt be there to carry the cross with her.we did family prayer early this year nd I was told my ex is my husband nd that he wll come back to me nd we will get married 24 of septemer nd now is december 22 nd sinnce then I don't listen to what any pastor has to tell me.I do my mid night nd God talks to me through my dreams.

Yeah she is viewing this thread as i type this. They are both igbos from the same state, am not igbo. You see that's the way it should be, God has given us the ability to pray and hear from him so why do we need to run from pastor to pastor. If God speaks to the pastor, he should be able to speak to you as well.

ruthy28: No offence OP but I think ur girl is more than gullible if she truly loves u she shld have given her mum ur name and asked her 2 pray abt u to see if ur d right guy 4 her not a list of names, dat is if she had 2 give name at all. Like u I like doin ma prayers myself cause u never knw who's who what ur gf mom is doin nw destroyed a friend of mines relationship n she's regretin it till today. My 2 cents is forget abt her cause if she really loves u she could have told her mum she's in a serious relationship dat has d potential of leadin 2 marriage not makin a dam list. Ur babe Bleep up sha no offence

Offence not taken at all, she really messed up.

Guys please lets not insult her cos I haven't given up on her just yet. I just got off the phone with her and she is actually viewing this thread. She really feels depressed so I will appreciate your comments and try not to insult her. Just so u guys know as i am typing this, it is almost 2:00 a.m, i should be sleeping but i can't.

The reason why i put my relationship situation on nairaland is to get you guys views and opinions about this issue. Because she kept telling me that "everyone is telling me this is the guy for me".....so its good to see what people on nairaland think of this.

1one: I'm sorry about the fix you've found yourself....I can only imagine the turbulence your mind is sieving through right now-okay,that was my Sunday goody goody line.

Your girlfriend is just a stooopid human being and I'm not sorry to say,who in this present age would be gettting married because they want to please their parents or because some group of yet to be validated seers said something.....There are familiar spirits everywhere,and as such I don't really buy the legitimacy of their so called prophecy. Even samuel the great prophet,ordained by God wanted to anoint one of David's elder brothers.Infact he had tilted the jar of oil but it didnt just flow. So my guy be wary of so called seers.


It still brings me to the fact that your girlfriend is stoopid,its like she sees marriage as a joke that's why she can be this indecisive,because if she viewed marriage as an instituition where one's purpose and destiny is either marred or made I don't think she would be this fickle minded.As christains we have the Holy spirit who is the spirit of truth.The spirit of truth bears witness with our own spirit whenever decisions of this nature are to be made,but from the way it is,she's either not a christain or perharps has not fully maximized the efficacy of the spirit of truth.

Truth is,you've lost her already,it would not be easy but just release her from your mind,besides as a man you don't need a woman who can't stand her ground and put her choice forward with you because when you get married there would be other tough hurdles to cross.

So please let her go and believe God for your own wife
Cheers.

I really appreciate your response bro. and i agree with you

dBard:

Q.E.D

Dude, keep an open mind but know that you've probably lost her n f good I must say cos a girl that can't follow her heart but rather chooses t dance t religious tunes n odas opinions isn't stable enuff f a family.
Cut your losses..
Difficult. .yes but consider..
1) she was stil keeping a window of opportunity open while u were dating (ur fault tho)
2) she had A LIST of potential suitors. .wat does that tell u ?
3) she is so quick t throwaway 3 yrs on hearsay, on someone she barely knows..

Abeg..go, cry..mend ur broken heart n live ur life best as u can.
God will get u someone special n stable

Shits annoying..

Thanks for your response bro.

Mazi_Omenuko: The worst collabo that ruins a relationship; pastor and parents!

Its easy to ask you to ignore her but I just dug a little bit deeper and realized you really love this girl so it won't be easy to let go as we all are asking of you.

My guess is; its the same girl you popped her cherry a few months back, isn't it? I remember you feeling on top of the world then....lol...how time flies. You decided you were gonna marry her right after the cherry popping; and I believe you were serious about it. I feel your pain; watching her slip off your hands with no real reason...that's pathetic!

I will ask you to fight for your girl. Don't let any powers of darkness come between you too. She could be walking into a lifetime of suffering and you alone could rescue her. I just did a little investigation (you're into investigations so you'll know what I mean) and I've found out that you've laid your riches around this girl. Where a man's riches is, that's where his heart is. Don't give up too easily! Fight for her, and for yourself!

Get a ring, show her the ring and promise to put it on her finger if she goes back to Nigeria and comes back to you the same.

The kingdom of God suffereth violence; the violent taketh it by force!

Lol bro. what kinda investigation is that?.....and yeah i really love her. I planned to engage her next year too. I am willing to fight only if she can come to her senses and realize that no one else can choose who you should marry....

Nuzo':
This life na turn by turn.

From Yankee boys to European guys...then to SA boys.....to China guys. Now, the torch bearers and flag hoisters are Malay boys! Choi!

Forget the stories of her being to weak to stand for herself. Trust me, it's her choice. She carefully planned this whole drama.

On the other hand, I understand her concerns a little bit. Seems you guys are still students and in the same age bracket coupled with the fact that Igbo girls hardly wish to marry outside their ethnic group.

Furthermore, being that there are very few Nigerian men (especially male students) available for serious relationship in the States, she may have been overwhelmed by your fidelity and so decided to pitch tent with you until she's ready to leave Yankee.

Now listen carefully. Most of the times, the best is still in the future....especially if you are a student and still very young. You will not understand what I'm trying to say now until when that future shows up.

"What was I Thinking" would be the questions you will be asking in 5 years time.

Good luck!

Thanks bro. We are both the same age(24) and will be graduating at the same time next year. And you are right we are from different tribes. i am from edo and she is an igbo girl( a very fine one).lol. And yeah malaysian boy who has said that he did drugs in the past( like they all do in malaysia), however i believe he still does drugs.


The question i ask myself is how do you leave a prospective engineer that you have been with 3 years for a drug dealer that randomly added you on facebook all in the name of match making prayers? how?

lynpetra: @op,I advice you forget that gurl.The worst u can ever do is marry a lady that have no mind of her own,a lady that needs and get answers from spiritual bodies.So many broken homes u see today is as a result of MOG match making and interfering in people's relationships.You better run,as you might not know where your pictures has been taken to....(ladies do that nowadays).Listen very carefully,do not go into marriage with a lady who make her decisions based on what her spiritual 'daddy" thinks.DO NOT go into a relationship with a lady whose decisions are based solely on what the mother wants.No need to cry,it's really not worth it.

I know... its so hard to let go cos there aren't many good girls like her that i've met. But i might be leaning towards moving on.

Mazi_Omenuko: Like when exactly did God turn to match-maker? This is sorcery and not Christianity! Your gf's mum (although, with good intentions for her daughter) went to seers to check what the future holds for her. Same way king samuel went to the witch of Endor who had familiar spirits. This is not a christian practice.

Having said that, there's nothing much you can do now. It has passed a stage of physical efforts and had entered spirituality. Its obvious your girl believes this 'wicked' prophesy and will certainly act it out; with little help from her mum. She created the room for her own manipulations when she compiled list of her suitors to send to her mum. How could she say she just enjoyed their attention when she was actually considering them as suitors and potential life partners?

Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. Relationship is not always a bed of roses so stop blaming yourself for hushing her once in a while. I do quarrel with my girl once in a while and we make up and get stronger.


She has already commited her future into the hands of seers; so your battle isn't physical.

I wish I have remedies for you;....okk, I have....its called plan B....start compiling your own list now...

Thanks man i really appreciate you taking the time to type that. I wish i could make my own list but its just too hard to move on when we didn't have a real reason to break up. I had a bunch of female friends that I use to talk to before she moved to my city but i cut all communications with them when she came to be with me. And the painful part is that while i stopped talking to other girls and facing my studies, she was busy entertaining guys chats. And now she could possibly move on and marry this guy and what happens to me? I am left hanging with no nobody to call my own.

This is going to ruin christmas for me for sure, because she leaves for Nigeria in 2 days and I just hope she doesn't make stupid decisions while back home.

The messed up part is that, as this guy saw her weakness, he has decided to put more pressure telling her that she has to agree this christmas.

agohmamuda: Bro leme be straight with you. I know its not gonna be easy doe. Once doubt comes into any relationship, hmmmmm. Just prepare for d worse (breakup). I trust u won't want a situation were she's say "OK its you I want" then she goes sneaking at ur back seeing d other guy. Bro, move on. There's notin like pity, consideration or force when it comes to love. Take heed.

Thanks for the advice bro.

She told me that I am partially at fault. If I wasn't mistreating her she wouldn't have done what she did. I mean if its not working why don't you call it off?

She is just so sensitive with the kind of words I tell her. I tell her "what is wrong with you?"....and she gets all depressed. How else do I express myself? And this is the kinda stuff she refers to as "mistreating".

slap1: OP, I have to blame you PARTIALLY. You failed to 'configure' your girl properly. Before I date any girl, I'll instil some strong, sound ideals into her.

What do you guys even talk about? Even my close girlfriends won't believe this religious crap (I'm not bragging, but I have a way of getting people to listen when I talk). Call your girl and let her see reasons with you. Give her examples of lives and marriages that have been destroyed by these baseless men of God. Let her know that the devil she knows is better than the angel she doesn't know. Goodluck.

its my fault in so many ways I agree with u. But like I said she finds it really hard to make decisions on her own. Always trying to please people and now she is trying to please her family at her own expense. So I dont think anything I said to her will make much difference.

Matildachinyere: In d first place, why should she give her mom a list of names, wen u are d only one she's bin dating for 3yrs? If truly, the mom went for prayers she shouldn't have gone wit any name and God in heaven would av revealed d person dat she was meant to marry without d presence of options. Honestly it is all a lie, It's just her own method of dumping u for another guy *And i must say ur Babe is very gullible *.Let her go abeg *although It's not easy sha *

That is the same thing everyone I have told about this is telling me. Not even one person is taking sides with her. I cried for 2 hours yesterday because I felt betrayed. How do you take advantage of me letting u talk to other guys and then u go behind me to make a list for so called prayers.

Thanks guys for ur reply. She is very much in love with me. She was getting so much pressure from family to get married. And like I said she is not very confident in making decisions so she was trying to please her family by showing that she is serious with getting married I think? And now she is in a big mess.

Guys please keep your opinions coming I really appreciate your comments. I might actually give her a link to this thread.

Utchgirl: As a xtian, equally consult ur God tru prayer or better still visit REAL men of God to help u find ur perfect match. Give dem (men of God) d name of dt ur gal to check if both of u match for marriage.

Do you actually believe in this name giving thing? I don't think there is a way of knowing who a "real man of God" is. I am more comfortable with doing my own prayers. Thanks for the advice though.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, and although we have had ups and downs, we are both still very much in love. She has all the qualities I need in a wife and i had made plans of marrying her in the near future.

Ever since we started dating, she has always had guys message her, asking her out and all that. However she assured me that she just likes the attention from those guys and that she wasn't interested in dating any of them. I totally believed her mostly because we both had the same phone passwords and i could go through her phone and read her messages anytime. And also because we don't live in Nigeria and all the guys asking her out were in Nigeria, i felt those guys weren't a threat to our relationship.

Recently, like a few months back she told me that her mum went for prayers. She gave her mum a list of names of the guys that are interested in marrying her and she took those names for prayers. Lo and behold the prayer people told her that I am a good guy but the guy who is her perfect match is the guy that has been chatting with her who lives in malaysia.

She has been saddened by this and she kept telling me how confused she was about the situation.But I never really thought that she would even consider the guy. And to complicate matters more, the guy in malaysia had his mom go for prayers as well and they said my girl is the one for him. So now her mum tells her "oh i think you should consider the malaysian guy"(he is an igbo guy who lives in malaysia), and given the fact that she is not very opinionated she is actually considering him.

As i am writing this, she is getting ready to go to Nigeria for her sister's wedding and she is going to meet this guy there as well. We spoke two nights ago and and last night also. She was crying on the phone and telling me her much she loves me and she wants to be with me. And she wants to go meet this prayer people to find out why she can't marry me.

I am a christian and i believe in prayers but i think this kind of prayer that tends to be very specific but yet vague is just plain bullcrap. How can you tell someone to leave a guy she is in love with and go marry a stranger she has never met before? without giving her reasons to leave the guys she loves. I have so many questions on my mind right now and i am hoping to find some answers, i'm trying to make sense of all this.

So guys please let me know what you think about this. And i apologize if my writing is not properly constructed cos i am not in the best frame of mind right now.

Cheers

Goal!