₦airaland Forum

Clear?

True. I tried licking my elbow
Please throw more light on 30

Lets say you were to spell numbers so you start with

zero, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (0-10 has no"a" in all the spelling) continue
eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, seventeen, eighteen nineteen, twenty (still no sign of "a"

you can continue to Nine hundred and ninety nine.

Only when you get to one thous'a'nd will you find an "a".

1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.

3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and
down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

6. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2".

8. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!
(That explains a few mysteries....)

9. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

10. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per
side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000.

11. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange,
purple and silver.

12. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space
because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.

13. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

14. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will
instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who
discovered this??)

15. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down
so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.

16. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

17. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law. In the 1400's a law was set forth that a man was not allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

18. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player
for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

19. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet.

20. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot
sink into quicksand.


21. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman
to take more than three steps backwards while dancing!

22. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book
most often stolen from public libraries.

23. Men can read smaller print then women can; women can hear better.

24. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

25. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

26. The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

27. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

28. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

29. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


30.
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

31.
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

32.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

33. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

34. It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the "honeymoon".

35. In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them, "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"


~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

lomprico:
is that a church or tv studio?

Church ni na, abi dem dey give pesin marriage certificate for studio?

Fine Altar sha...Looking at the decor pattern and stage monitors I think its Christ Embassy.

chrislu:
iji ya nwanne.

your head correct

Question

Send her the birthday message and make sure you get her phone as promised.
She is probably waiting to see if you will still keep to your word. And if she doesn't appreciate it cheerup, it doesn't make you less a man.

simplemach:
Fellow nairalanders, i need your advice. For over one month now i have not been in talking terms with my girlfriend, thats to say we are not in good terms. But since last year when everything was ok between us i had promised to buy her a new fone on her birthday which happens to be 2 days from valentines day thats on the 16th of February. My question to you guys now is, should i go ahead to buy the fone and send to her on her birthday or i should just let everything pass by? I also plan to send her a birthday msg on that day, Is this ok. Pls i need matured advice.

1st thing that catches my attention is her ATTITUDE.

2. Her physical looks

3. Her intellectual prowess

Then saith I to myself: make friends with her and get to kwow her better.

*What answers were u expecting?*

mizkeleke:
This question is directed to male romancelanders. Ladies can just peep.

I have been pondering on this for sometime now, even went as far as asking some male friends their opinion. Now am bringing it here....


Guys when you see a lady you are attracted to at first sight, what comes to your mind?
Sincere answers needed.

I would have loved to dedicate ALL OF ME by John Legend but I prefer writing my own short piece to the love of my life.

Obim, my darling.
Love of my life.
So pretty and simple.
My beautiful baby,
Asa nwa, Treasure of my life.
Obim, U are my heart beat.

ItsAnderson:

Xup guys, I need a lil advice from you guys
There is a girl in my church one of my friends love so much though she gat no boyfriend presently buh people around him always think he's dating the girl cos they are very close as friends and dis girl act as if he's dating her! And he has proposed to
her for d past four months buh she lied to him she had
a boyfriend buh we studied her so much dat we knew she
was lying nd she told one of her friend dat she have
break up with her bf nd that my friend has bn pressuring her so
much bouh his love for her buh she always say they
can never date! Three weeks ago she decided not to
talk to my friend again so dat he will stop telling her bouh his feelings for her, buh most of us he friends dat are
aware bout their friendship told him to never let her
go nd still keep yarning her nd anytime my friend greets her
now she dnt answer him again nd she still keep telling
Him no way, So guys wah do u tink he can do rite now
dunno if she is doing dis juz to test him cos he's
getting pissed off rite now buh he loves her so much dat
He dnt wanna loose for anyone!!!
What can he do?


Jah Bless ur Sunday

No be by force na.

He should leave her alone abba!He should give her time and focus on just being good friend to her. Atimes guys confuse a lady being friendly with them as attraction.
She no want boyfriend (at least for now) so let her be. Shikena

negrito:
I've never in my life believed that what people said about Nigerian girls were true until today. I've noticed the way some of these girls act when someone has money. A girl asked me today if I had a girlfriend and I said yes. Then she asked what tribe she was and I told her she wasn't Nigerian and her attitude towards me changed. She even went as far as holding meetings with some of these other ex prostitutes in the area to try and get me trapped. Is it by force to date a Nigerian girl now? A nairalander even said Nigeria girls are all like that and I think I have to agree with him.

Nigerian girls are definitely not like that.
*wondering what you were doing around ex prostitutes*

Am I getting it all wrong?

asdfjklhaha:
I don't want him to find out that I can't pound yam.

Funny you

*is he running a pounded yam restaurant?*

Fit2Rule:
I have been very happy that the presidential election would hold on the 14 of February. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I told my girlfriend on Friday morning that I'll be traveling home for the elections because my childhood friend is contesting a house of assembly seat.
Saturday evening, events took another turn as Jega announced the postponement of the elections. This morning, the first whatsapp chat I received as my phone data service switched on, was this picture from my girlfriend. I have been thinking of what to tell her so that I can travel out of town during the valentine. Anyone with a good idea should help me out please.

Are you really avoiding your girl because of val?

Point number 3 is the only point that has my attention.
Relationships can't survive without trust. When trust is estranged then its no use moving on. *I like to be in a relationship that's alive and heading somewhere*

koolet:
Not all relationships are meant to last- a rather
harsh reality in this constantly changing world.
Breakups happen due to many reasons with
the incidence of breakups only increasing over
time. As such, men and women, both have
different reasons to end an ongoing
relationship. In this article, our focus is on the
male side of things. We look at some signs you
should breakup with your girlfriend. We won't
be delving into the details of how to tackle with
relationship issues. Our focus will be on signs
you should dump her right now.

Here are 10 signs you should dump her right
now. Read on...

1. SHES SECREATIVE AND LIES TO YOU OFTEN..
This is one of the first signs its time to dump
your girlfriend. If she lies more often than not
and has lied on major issues more than a few
times, its about time you took the decision of
breaking up with her.

2. She Cheated On You
Cheating on you isn't something that deserves
second thought in making a decision. If she
has cheated on you, it'd only be wise for you
to let go. Your loyalty was taken for a ride,
true, but the ball is in your court now to finish
the game.

3. You just Don't Trust Her..
If for whatever reason you don't trust her, you
must definitely contemplate breaking up with
her. If you delay it, you will be the one to face
the wrath of your own indecisiveness. So if
you don't trust her for whatever reason, it'd
be a rather wise decision to dump her.

4.She Clings On To You Too Much...
The best kind of woman for a man is
somebody who is independent, responsible
and mature enough to handle things on her
own. Of course a real man will not allow her to
fight problems single handedly but that isn't
the point here. If she is too clingy, over
dependent and fails to pay heed to the
meaningful stuff you say, you must consider
dumping her before your energy is completely sapped

5. SHE STEALS AND SQUANDERS
YOUR MONEY..
having to date a nag seem more managable compare to a criminal,
God help you if you are stuck with such a
woman. Chivalry, they believe, is a
compulsive obsession every guy must
possess. You eat a meal, you’re axed. You go
shopping, you’re axed. You talk on the
phone…can there BE anyone else who can be
axed?


6.YOUR SIBLINGS AND
YOUR BEST FRIENDS DONT LIKE HER: its no use dating her when you cant show her proudly to your siblings and loved ones trust me you are breaking yourself emotionally

7.DISRESPECTFUl OR ABUSIVE
Who wants to spend their life hen-pecked, yelled
at, disrespected or abused? Not you. Take a long
hard look at the last fight you had - did she fight
fair, or was it a knock-down, no-holds-barred
event? If she doesn’t respect you now, at the
beginning, she’s sure not going to respect you
later - it’s time to go

8. You are unhappy being in a
relationship with her:
If you are actually unhappy being in a
relationship with her, getting sick of the sight of
her, cry yourself to sleep at night and find
yourself plotting about ways to get rid of her,
it’s definitely time to dump your girlfriend

9. You avoid her phone calls.
You see her name appear on your phone and
either sigh, roll your eyes or break down in
tears. lol ma guy decide fast for even my dads calls dont scare me as such

10. SHE KEEPS TALKING
ABOUT HER PAST
RELATIONSHIPS
She does this when you people are a couple
of months into a relation, it is
understandable; most girls have a tough time
getting over their exes. But be on your guard
if she makes this a habit. Worse still, if she
insists on staying in touch with her ex-
boyfriend(s), that is the death-knell for you
guys. For what reason women do this, we
men know not; do women not understand
that it can jeopardize their present relation?
If they do, do they not care? If they do not
care, why did they bother to get into a
relation in the first place? No person can
love two people at the same time (forget
whatever gold-plated poop that Twilight feeds
you). If her inclination towards her past is
threatening to tilt your relationship out of
balance, the time has come for you to show
her the door.

11. YOU WERE slowly NODDING YOUR HEAD WHILE READING

Welcome
*wondering why you have not been active all the while*

Thanks to all for your patronage

SOLD
Thank you all

Got this piece as a gift and selling it at a give-away Price


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What is your address, need to get the lenovo. Hope it comes with waranty

Special thank you to all our clients for making 2014 a great success and
WELCOME TO 2015

Yes They accept GTB naira mastercard. I have bought several things with my card.

Yea, am OK with weekends

9jabizinfo:
Thanks for the info. Who knows the next step to take after registering business name as regards taxes. How do you register for taxes, which agencies do you register with and how do you start paying taxes and VAT? Any advice on these please

After getting your Business certificate visit any office of the federal inland revenue where you will obtain a TIN (Tax Identification Number). Note that you will need to provide the TIN number to open a business account. You can ask your tax related questions at the FIRS office or better still get a tax manager to take the burden off you.

obxddon:
What kind of busniess can I do with a registered business name that is not Limited liability company or Public liability company.Can I get contracts with it,can I provide services to people with My registered business name?
Please asisst

Yes you can provide services with your registered business name as long as those services and contracts are stated in your nature of business.

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