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In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” “50 cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. “How much is a dish of plain ice cream?” he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. “35 cents,” she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were 15 cents – her tip. Source: The Positive Story - http://www.thepositivestory.info/ |
I still remember the day when I told my mother I no longer wanted to be at home. I had had enough of so much pain, sorrow and the constant yelling everywhere. I saw my mother cry bitterly as she took the final decision to get a divorce. I was ten years at the time. My father had always been a very strict man. He used to believe that his ways were the right ways and that everything had a logical order, he even considered himself “successful” because he had his own house, his own car, a high paid salary and a family. He indeed was a success at his office, since he had the guts to get everything done, but his own workers didn’t seem to follow him for the right reasons. They described my father as a man who liked to give orders and to keep things under control. He even told jokes at the expense of others to keep things “cool”, but in reality, those jokes were hurtful and humiliating. I don’t remember my father having any friends, nor saw him inviting anyone to our home for Christmas. Father was always working hard, two shifts for five years. He later told me he did all that to give us a good future, but he was never present. I don’t recall him playing that much with me nor taking us on vacation. In fact, he used to beat me with a belt if I didn’t get good grades at elementary school. He used to bury in my head the thought of “be better than anyone else”. He wanted me to be as competitive as him, as successful as him. He wanted me to become like him. But that wasn’t the whole reason why my parents divorced. My father, thinking he could do whatever he wanted, cheated on my mother with five different women, thinking my mother was not good enough for him anymore. Later in life I understood that it was him who felt not good enough. One day he got very drunk and began calling me names like “Little cockroach” because he knew I would never be as good as him. That’s when I lost it. At ten years old, I jumped towards my father and blindly hit him in every part of his body that I could reach with my tiny fists. My mother came running from the kitchen and had to separate us because, since my father was a mountain of a man, he was easily giving me the beating of my life. That was the last straw for my mother. That night she kicked him out of the house and I could never see him again for a few years. After that day, we were shocked, but felt a small piece of relief. Eventually we finally found peace. The divorce helped my mother to mature, to become stronger and wiser. She had always been there for me and my kid sister. I grew up with the love of my mother who played the role of a father as well. My raising made me think that, if I ever had children, I would never let them live the hell I lived. Time heals all wounds, or so that’s what they say. The age and many life experiences gave me the strength to finally see my father once again after so much time at a very sad family event. He was all by himself. None of the women he used to cheat with were in sight. We spoke few words, gave him my condolences and departed. It had been weird to see my father again after so much time. One day he fell sick with kidney failure and was about to die. I went to see him at the hospital and it was really shocking to see the once strong man reduced to a thin ghost of a man wrapped in a hospital gown. There was no one around to help him but an aunt. No friends, no other women, no one. He was all alone. I spent days and night taking care of him at the hospital, we would joke around and remember the few good things we shared during my infancy. I soon realized my father was just another child that was hit and humiliated during his childhood. His parents had raised him the same way he was raising me, therefore, he grew up with those values carved in his heart. That’s when I realized it made no sense to continue hating him for the horrible childhood he gave me. Life was already giving him a very tough lesson. Loneliness can be worse than death itself. My father eventually recovered and left the hospital. To this day, I still speak to my father and pay him a visit at his house from time to time to see how he is doing. He is still the prideful man I knew in my infancy, and is still expecting me to become better than him. But this time, his words don’t hurt me at all. This part of my life made me learn these valuable lessons: 1) Forgiveness doesn’t mean to forget: Some people say “Forgive and forget”, I would say instead “Forgive, don’t forget, but don’t let the memory of what happened control you”. I learnt this the hard way, sadly. Some days I would get very angry and some other days I would feel hopeless and unloved. This eventually pushed the few people that really cared for me away. I couldn’t change the past, and I didn’t like the insecure angry woman that I had become. I had to vent out that pain and anger. One thing that helped me was to write down all the things I wanted to say to my father, then I would read the letter many times as I needed and finally, I would burn it. Watching the fire consume the letter that had all my frustration helped me ease the burden in my heart. Some days, when I felt the ugly feeling again, I would just put my hand over my heart and say a prayer and repeat the same mantra to myself over and over again: “I am here, I will help you. We are in this together, I will protect you” I never knew the power behind those words, but after repeating that sentence to myself, I would feel the anger go away. We have to vent the anger (As a metaphor would say “Empty our cups”) in private (To avoid hurting the people that love us) in order to make space for love and peace. We learn from the pain and there is no way we can easily put it under the rug, but we can control the feeling it gives us when remembering those moments. Don’t let the memory of the past inflict you pain in your present life. 2) Forgiveness doesn’t mean to include that person back into your life: Forgiving someone does not always mean to have that person back into your life like nothing happened. There are people whose sole presence is toxic in our lives. These kind of people need to be loved from a distance, may be your father, your brother, your once best friend, your ex. Life is too short to make it harder and painful by allowing them back into our circle of peacefulness. 3) Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning someone’s actions: What happened to my father might be viewed as karma by some people but for me, it is hard to call it that way. When I learned about his troubled childhood, I realized that’s where all his behavior came from. His parents raised him the same way as he wanted to raise me. I finally understood why he did what he did. But, that wasn’t excusable. What he did was wrong and was not acceptable. No matter how bad your past was, you can’t go around inflicting pain to others thinking its ok. I know a lot of people who had a very sad, painful childhood and they turned out to be wonderful parents. Pain can give huge lessons to make us a better person. And finally, 4) Forgive to set yourself free: the most important lesson in my life. I was the target of bullying at school because at that time, children that came from broken homes were looked as troubled kids. I hated my father every single time someone made jokes about my divorced parents. Later in life I blamed my father for all my failed relationships. I hopelessly looked for approval from the men I dated in my life, only to be dumped like a hot frying pan. I was destroying myself with hatred and pain. All this turmoil made me lonely and miserable. Eventually I learned that I was the only person responsible of my life, and that blaming my father was a very coward thing to do. If I wanted to have a happy life I had to let go of the pain. It wasn’t easy, it took me years of self-discovery and soul searching to achieve this, but finally I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Trying to find something to inspire me, I came across with one quote that really struck a chord to me: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” I was poisoning my life, my few friendships and my own self. I was missing the big things in life because I had spent a lot of it hating my father and my problems. I learned not to repeat the mistakes he did, and to pay attention to my own behavior. The past can be painful but it certainly can’t define us. We make our own present, we are our own person. We can’t erase the past, but we can choose to let go of the pain in order to live a happier, fulfilling life. The road is not easy, in fact there were days when I felt I was taking one step forward and two steps backwards, and some days I would just curl up and cry. But I kept moving because I really wanted to get out of that place of isolation, I focused on myself, found new hobbies, spent time with family and eventually, good friends came by and my life felt finally lighter and at peace. At the end, I learned that forgiveness is not about the other person, is about ourselves. From the Positive Story - www.thepositivestory.info
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1. When was the last time you tried something new? 2. What makes you want to do better? 3. What do you love to do? Do you do it often? If the answer is no, why not? 4. What can you do today that you could not do a year ago? 5. Where do you see yourself in one year? five years? ten years? 6. Do you like your job? 7. What would you do different if you were reborn? 8. Have you done anything lately worth remembering? 9. What are you excited about? 10. What’s your biggest problem? 11. When was the last time you traveled somewhere new? 12. What would you regret not doing? 13. What makes you smile? 14. If the average lifespan was 50 years, would you do anything differently? 15. What do you want most out of life? 16. What impact do you want to leave in the world? 17. What do you want to be remembered by? 18. If all came back around to you, would it help you or hurt you? 19. If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing, what would you change? 20. What stands between you and happiness? 21. If a doctor gave you one year to live, what would you try to accomplish? 22. What do you like most about yourself? 23. What do you have that you cannot live without? 24. When you close your eyes what do you dream of? 25. If you could ask one person, dead or alive, one question, who would you ask and what would you ask? 26. If your life was a movie, what would be the title? 27. What does success mean to you? 28. If you could ask for one wish, what would it be? 29. What do you owe yourself? 30. When you think of “home” what do you think of? 31. How could you describe yourself in 5 words? 32. How do you spend most of your free time? 33. What did you want to be when you where younger? 34. What are you doing to pursue your dreams right now? 35. What are you most scared of? You can click to see the complete list .... http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/50-thought-provoking-questions-to-ask.html |
To pay for his education, a poor boy used to sell goods from door to door. One day, the young boy found he was really hungry but had no money to buy any food. He decided to ask for something to eat when he knocked on the front door of the next house. A beautiful young woman opened the door, and the boy lost his nerve. He simply asked for a drink of water, too embarrassed to ask for food. The young woman brought him a glass of milk, which the boy greedily drank. The boy asked her how much he owed, but she simply smiled and said her mother had taught her to be kind to others and never expect anything in return. The young boy left the woman’s home with a full tummy and a heart full of renewed strength to push on with his education and continue working hard. Just when he was ready to quit, the woman had instilled in him newfound faith and fortitude. Years later, in a big city, renowned surgeon Dr. Howard Kelly was called to consult on a woman who was suffering from a rare disease. When the woman told him the name of the small town where she lived, Dr. Kelly felt a faint memory arise in his mind, and then suddenly recognition dawned on him. She was the woman who had given him the glass of milk many years ago. The doctor went on to provide the woman with the very best care and made sure she received special attention. In fact, it was his skills as a doctor that saved her life. After a long and difficult hospitalization, the woman was finally ready for discharge home. The woman was worried it would take her years to settle her account with the hospital. Her serious illness and long hospital stay had produced a substantial bill. However, when she received the bill, she found that Dr. Kelly had paid the entire bill himself and written a small note for her. The note simply stated: Paid in full with a glass of milk. Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info |
The 80-year-old bride tied the knot for the first time when she married Carlos Suarez, a 95-year-old widower. The couple met back in February, shortly after Suarez moved into her Miami nursing home. He was assigned room 404. She lived across the hall, in 407. They shared a mutual attraction from the start. “When she came out with her walker in front of me, I thought, ‘Not bad,’” Suarez said in Spanish through an interpreter. “And when she came by, I said, ‘I’m not letting her get away.’” Suarez began accompanying Cobar to her favorite arts and crafts activities. They watched the news together, as well as sunsets. They danced at parties, Suarez from his wheelchair. They held hands whenever possible and soon became inseparable. Everyone started called them “the lovebirds.” Cobar was born in Guatemala, but moved to the United States as a 27-year-old single mother. She worked for decades as a nanny and housekeeper. She dated occasionally over the years, but “found it hard to find the right man,” she said through an interpreter. Her priority was her daughter. “I really didn’t need anybody else,” she said. Then she met Suarez. He had moved to Miami from Cuba 56 years ago with his wife and their son. He started a jewelry business, which his nephew now owns. In 2006 Suarez became a widower, but he said he never gave up hope of finding love again. When he met Cobar, who has lived at the nursing home since 2009, the two connected right away. “My mother told me, ‘Men like him do not exist anymore,” said Cobar's daughter Ana, 56. “She thought he was very polite, very considerate, very special.” Suarez proposed by simply suggesting, “Let’s get married.” But he had shared his intentions weeks earlier with his granddaughter. “He said, ‘I’m already past the age of playing games. I shouldn’t wait,’” said Katrina Suarez, 29. So on Nov. 10, Cobar walked down the aisle in a white veil and champagne-colored lace and sequined dress. Her groom, wearing a long-sleeved, cream-colored guayabera, met her at the altar. Ana arranged for the flowers and most of the decorations, but the nursing home provided the arch, balloons, and musical entertainment, as well as the ceremony's site: the dining hall. “It’s not every day that you get to witness love like this, and especially at this stage in life,” said Ilene Zweig, executive director for Plaza Health Network Foundation, which helps support programs at Aventura Plaza. “The fact that Maria never thought this day would be possible and we were able to play a part in making it a reality really warms my heart.” The couple exchanged vows in Spanish and toasted their matrimony with sparkling non-alcoholic cider. Nursing home employees chipped in to surprise the newlyweds with a mariachi band, whose music inspired Suarez to get out of his wheelchair and dance almost like he used to before arthritis got the better of him. “This was an actual wedding. I don’t think I’ve been to friends’ weddings that were this elaborate,” Katrina Suarez said. “Everybody was ecstatic and all the old people were so happy. It was just so nice to see something so sweet.” Maria Cobar and Carlos Suarez now live in the same room, but have yet to take a honeymoon. Their first trip as newlyweds will be for Thanksgiving dinner at the home of Cobar’s daughter, who expressed gratitude that her mother had finally found love. “They’re such wonderful people,” she said of the couple. “They found their soul mates. It shows there’s no age limit for love.” Cobar said she believed for a long time she would live out her life alone because she hadn’t found the right partner. She said she now offers “thanks to God for finding love with someone who was worth waiting for.” Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info
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Don't try to get even You may want to trash-talk your partner on Facebook, but acting destructively to even the score will do no good—and may even have financial consequences. "Trying to get even keeps your anger alive, and keeps you in a state of negativity, which will prevent you from moving on and going forward in your life," says Jane Greer, PhD. To recover from the infidelity, you need to try to be on the same team, not opposing ones. Don't fall apart "It's very normal to have a good cry (or two or three) after a break up," says April Masini, a New York-based relationship and etiquette expert and author. "And when the breakup follows a long-term relationship, expect to need time to recover." Realize that this situation won't define you. Your life isn't over. While what's happening may be scary, it's a chance for you to start over. Yes, it may be a different life, but things may turn out even better. These breakup survival tips can help the healing begin. Don't play the victim card It's true that in all likelihood, you didn't deserve to have someone cheat on you, but it doesn't mean you should wallow in self-pity. Playing the victim will keep you feeling helpless and damaged, and it will continue to keep you feeling badly about yourself as a result, your self esteem will drop, and you'll find it difficult to participate in your life in a fulfilling way. Don't let someone else decide if you'll leave or not Your mom says to leave him; your best friend says give him another chance. But it's your choice whether the relationship is worth salvaging and repairing or not. People will always have their own opinions, but the final decision on how to proceed is yours. Don't ignore what happened It may ease the pain to just ignore your partner's infidelity. But doing so won't address the underlying issues in your relationship. "Trying to ignore the unfaithfulness that occurred will only leave the relationship on shaky ground," says Hall. And your resentment will likely build and eventually rear its ugly head. So, ask all the questions you want, even knowing that you may not get all the answers you want to hear. Before you know whether to invest in rebuilding the relationship, you need to figure out why the infidelity happened. Don't try to get things back to how they were Your marriage is already different, and "the way things were" is what led to the situation at hand. Focus on building a more fulfilling relationship using the lessons you've learned. Don't dismiss therapy Counseling after cheating can help you gain insight and understanding into what went down. It can help you communicate better and process feelings of guilt, shame, and whatever else you might be feeling. "If you decide to walk away from the relationship, at least you can leave with peace of mind that you tried your best to make it work and didn't act impulsively," says Burns. Therapists have seen it all, so don't be embarrassed by your situation. Don't forget to take care of yourself "This traumatic experience can negatively impact your mind and body," says Burns. "In order to bounce back from this, self-care is essential. You can't make rational decisions, such as whether to stay or leave, when you're not taking care of your physiological needs." Make sure to eat, exercise, sleep, and have fun. Laugh and live a happy life despite what's going on. Do activities that bring you joy and pleasure. Source: The Positive Story - http://www.thepositivestory.info/ |
The truth hurts. Or is it lying that hurts more? Most people would agree that dishonesty leads to a variety of negative results, including broken trust, destroyed relationships, lost jobs, and even criminal convictions. So why do people lie? Most people lie in order to make themselves look better, to avoid hurting people’s feelings, or to gain social status in some way. Lying is never ideal, but new research has shown that it can actually be quite sinister—because it paves the way for more and bigger lies. In a new study conducted at the University College London, researchers told participants that overestimating the amount of pennies in a jar would lead to personal gain. Participants’ brains were scanned for activity during their responses. When they first began exaggerating the number of pennies in the jar, their amygdala, the brain’s built-in gauge of right and wrong, responded strongly in reaction to their dishonesty. But as their exaggerations increased, the response of their amgydala decreased, showing that the brain becomes desensitized to repetitive dishonesty. So with every lie a person tells, the brain essentially feels less and less guilty or ashamed, which can lead to larger and more frequent lies. Senior author of the study Tali Sharot, PhD, told sciencedaily.com, “When we lie for personal gain, our amygdala produces a negative feeling that limits the extent to which we are prepared to lie. However, this response fades as we continue to lie, and the more it falls, the bigger our lies become.” This may become a “slippery slope,” Sharot adds, where small acts of dishonesty escalate into more significant lies. And surprisingly enough, most people lie once or twice a day, according to research by Bella Depaulo, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Virginia. What does this mean for those that want to lead a more honest life? The findings of this study suggest that as even little white lies cause trouble, so may other wrongdoings. Study co-author Neil Garrett, PhD, told sciencedaily.com, “We only tested dishonesty in this experiment, but the same principle may also apply to escalations in other actions such as risk taking or violent behavior.” Source: The Positive Story - www.thepositivestory.info |
When a friend approaches you in the heat of a moment, it can be hard to know what to say. There’s no blanket approach for every person through every crisis, but a few guidelines could help you offer the best support. Friends going through a crisis often just need someone to vent to and explore their feelings with, but the trick is to listen without sounding like you’re judging. Reframe “why” questions, which can imply you’re questioning their judgment, says Nancy Lublin, CEO of Crisis Text Line, a support line that connects those in a crisis to a counselor via text. “‘Why’ questions are kind of judgy and seem patronizing, but ‘how’ and ‘what’ questions, and ‘who’ and ‘when’ seem genuinely caring and inquisitive,” she says. For instance, ask loved ones how they felt about an experience, rather than why they felt that way. Open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or “no” will also help friends dig in to their deepest feelings during a crisis. While your loved ones talk through their replies, practice active listening by focusing on their answers—not distracting yourself by listening for a break or thinking about how to respond, says Michelle Kuchuk, director of training for Crisis Text Line. “Traditionally, we listen for our own agenda—not in a cruel way, but it’s human nature,” she says. “Part of the beauty of active listening is, it is preventive and takes pressure off someone struggling with something, and is not necessarily ever going to fix a problem.” After all, your friends probably just need someone to listen and validate them, rather than hearing you offer potentially unhelpful advice. When you do respond, avoid telling friends in crisis how they “should” be feeling. For instance, telling loved ones that they should feel strong when they’re feeling weak and ashamed could suggest those low moments aren’t acceptable. “‘Should’ is an invalidation, saying it’s not OK for you to feel these societally ‘weak’ feelings,” says Kuchuk. “If you’re only hearing ‘you should feel great,’ you’re never going to speak the truth again or get that weight off your chest if you think other people will judge you.” On the other hand, tying those positive feelings to a specific action can feel more genuine. If friends hear “you’re so strong” without an example to back it up, they might never believe it. But if they’ve been explaining how hard it was to talk to someone else, praise them for taking that brave step. “People say, ‘you’re strong and brave,’ but if you don’t feel that way at all and it’s not specific, it can feel really general,” says Kuchuk. “Make sure those words aren’t disingenuous and they’re based on something you can observe and see.” Praising friends on a smart decision or commenting on how proud they sound reaffirms their strength so they can discover how those coping skills help during a crisis, says Lublin. Mirroring your friends’ emotions can also help prove you’re there to listen without judgment. Just don’t use the same words your friends do, or it will feel like you’re just repeating what they said. “Give a word back in response that’s one level deeper. If they say ‘I had a bad day,’ I’ll say, ‘I’m sorry your day was so rough,’” says Lublin. “It’s a way of showing you really swallowed what they had to say.” Ultimately, it’s more important for a friend to know you’re there for support than stressing about saying the right thing during a crisis. “If you’re trying to be a therapist or counselor, it can feel uncomfortable for a friend going through something,” says Kuchuk. “Just be a friend and really listen to that person, not with your own agenda but ‘what is this person really going through?’” Source: The Positive Story - www.thepositivestory.info Note: We are looking for more positive stories to publish. Do you have a positive story you would like to share? Or do you know anyone with a positive story? Send an email to thepositivestory@gmail.com. We will contact you. |
Jennifer Bricker dreamed of being a gymnast from a young age. She’d watch the Olympics on TV, following the moves of the U.S. women’s team closely. Dominique Moceanu, the 1996 Gold Medal winner, was her idol. Bricker had just one challenge to overcome: She was born without legs. Bricker was given away by her birth parents and left in an orphanage in Romania, but she was adopted by a couple from a small town in Illinois, and raised alongside their three boys. She was raised to believe that she could do anything that they could do, and “can’t” wasn’t part of her vocabulary. While she used a wheelchair “to keep from getting dirty,” she says, she could propel herself anywhere she wanted to go with her arms. Climbing trees was a favorite past-time, and she played sports from a young age, including baseball, basketball, and yes, gymnastics. She started tumbling from a young age, learning how to do acrobats moves on a trampoline in her parents’ yard. Soon, she began tumbling professionally, and even became the Illinois State Champion tumbler. By the age of 16, she’d proven that she could accomplish everything she set her mind to. She knew that her adoptive parents’ attitude towards life had pushed her towards meeting all her goals, but she also wanted to know more about the role her genetics may have played, so she asked her parents what they knew about her biological parents. As it turned out, they had a big secret for her. When Bricker’s mother told her that her birth family’s last name was Moceanu, she instantly knew what that meant: Olympic gymnast Dominique Moceanu was Jennifer’s biological sister. Four years later, Bricker wrote a letter to Moceanu, including some court documents and photos. "It was December 10, 2007 and it changed my world,” Moceanu later told Oprah, when recounting the story on her show. Moceanu had never known about the baby girl given away for adoption. She found out that her father had decided to give the baby up as soon as she was born, and never looked back on the decision. Moceanu had a rocky relationship with her parents as well, and was legally emancipated by the age of 17. "Ultimately, that decision was one of the best decisions they ever made because it gave Jen an awesome childhood,” she said. After discovering the truth, Bricker was able to unite with both Dominique and their other sister, Christina. "Since then we’ve become close and I feel like a piece of the jigsaw of my life has fallen into place,” Bricker told The Mirror. She’s also been able to connect with her biological mother, Camelia, who had regretted the decision to give away her newborn baby, but had given in to her husband’s demands. While Bricker remains very close to her adoptive family, she has forged a new bond with her biological relatives, and continues to inspire everyone around her with her remarkable accomplishments. Now 27, Bricker performs as a professional aerialist, and has even toured with artists including Britney Spears. She also serves as a motivational speaker, sharing her incredible story with others all over the world. “ I hope to inspire & motivate others to BELIEVE that anything is truly possible,” says Bricker. Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info
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Martial artist and actor Jackie Chan has been awarded an Oscar, a prize he's coveted since he saw one at Sylvester Stallone's house 23 years ago. The honorary statuette was presented to Chan by his Rush Hour co-star Chris Tucker and fellow actors Michelle Yeoh and Tom Hanks at the annual Governors Awards in LA on Saturday, a ceremony attended by Denzel Washington, Lupita Nyong'o, Nicole Kidman, Emma Stone, Ryan Reynolds, Amy Adams and more. Chan has been a beloved figure in the industry for decades, but has never really fallen into an obvious Academy Award category. "After 56 years in the film industry, making more than 200 films, after so many bones, finally..." the actor said. "I continue to make movies, jumping through windows, kicking and punching, breaking my bones." The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences also recognised film editor Anne V. Coates', casting director Lynn Stalmaster's and documentarian Frederick Wiseman's achievements with honorary awards at the ceremony. Hanks said he was delighted to be able to acknowledge Chan's work as martial arts and action comedy are two genres often overlooked during awards season. Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info
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Talatu John got married to the man who infected her with HIV. She met with Emmanuel in 2014 when the former was searching for a job at a government agency in the state capital. Before long, they fell head over heels in love. Her misery started after a scary dream on June 24, 2016. It was five months to her wedding. Thirty-year-old Talatu John (not real name), a postgraduate student of a university in the North, woke up feeling disturbed. She narrated her experience to Punch: “I had a dream that when I went to collect the result of the HIV/AIDS test I did, the result showed that I was positive. I began to cry in the dream and many people tried to console me,” she said. Sadly, the dream turned out to be real. Indeed, she had gone for a HIV test but was yet to get the result. When she went to collect the result of the test on the day of the dream, it showed she was HIV positive. Amid sobs, Talatu told Punch correspondent, “What pains me most is that my boyfriend had the virus but never told me. We were having unsafe sex regularly. Talatu launched into a long narration of how she found out the truth. She said, “I love him. I still do. The love was so strong that I gave him all my heart. We had unprotected sex at different times. I was so much in love that I never cared whether we used a condom or not. I was not even scared of being pregnant. He too never bothered to use a condom. “Then, I didn’t know he was HIV positive and he never told me. Later, my sister, a nurse, told me she learnt that he (Emmanuel) is HIV positive and that I should search his room. She gave me the name of the drug he was using. But I never found any. In order to be sure I was not already infected, I went for HIV/AIDS test and it showed that I was negative. That calmed my nerves. “But early this year, I found out I was getting regularly sick. I used to feel hot and tired easily. After repeated medications for malaria, I didn’t get better. Then I started depreciating in size. I was advised to go for HIV test. “The lady at the laboratory handed the result to me and told me to see the doctor. She raised my curiosity when she told me she couldn’t tell me the result. The doctor then dropped the bombshell. I was devastated. So, in anger, I went to confront my boyfriend with the news but he denied. “I started crying and he consoled me; we had already made arrangements for our wedding. It was a day before we went for counselling at the church that he told me the truth. Sometimes, we quarrel over this and I used to call him the ‘devil.’ But he kept on consoling me.” Last week Saturday at a popular church in Lafia, the Nasarawa State capital, Talatu took a bold step and demonstrated that true love keeps no record of wrongs when she got married to Emmanuel at a lavish ceremony attended by our correspondents. According to the couple, the church consented to the wedding because both of them are HIV positive. The church was filled to capacity as well-wishers, family and friends of the couple attended the occasion. Basking in the euphoria of the wedlock, the couple, who spoke in separate interviews with Punch shortly after the wedding, said they were happy. Emmanuel said he was delighted and grateful to God for making his dream a reality. He said, “In fact, I am overwhelmed. Today is my day and I never expected this crowd on my wedding day. I really appreciate everyone who took time out of their schedule to honour us. It is a wonderful union indeed. This joy is unquantifiable and there is no day in my life that is as important as this day.” Punch, however, noticed that although there was joy written on John’s face, she did not hide her regret. She had told our correspondents that her husband was unwilling to talk about his HIV status or circumstances of their marriage. “My regret is that I will always be on drugs for the rest of my life. He even warned me not to tell my family about my status. I wished that I remained a virgin. I also regret not using condoms while the courtship lasted. “Sometimes, if you are in love, you will be fooled. I advise young ladies to be careful. It is better to listen to wise counsel than bear the consequences of wrong decisions. I have learnt my lessons,” she said. Source: The Positive Story http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/why-i-got-married-to-my-hiv-boyfriend.html |
A couple, who were forced to call off their engagement 65 years ago, have finally gotten married. A family misunderstanding meant Helen Andre who is 82 years old, and Davy Moakes who is 86 years old, from Derbyshire, never got married in 1951. Ms Andre's daughter Debbie Williams, who tracked Mr Moakes down, said the pair were "madly in love" after being reunited. She said the couple originally split because her mother, Ms Andre's parents did not approve of his job as an artist. "Back in the 1950s, being an artist was probably wasn't considered a good career for a future son-in-law," she said. "It broke both their hearts but in those days you did as you were told." Ms Williams said after her mother became widowed for a third time she decided to find Mr Moakes who coincidentally had become a widower twice. She said: "They got talking and rekindled their relationship and they fell madly in love... I am so happy for them." The couple, who have outlived five partners between them, were married at Ripley registry office on Friday afternoon. Mr Moakes said: "If you love someone as much as we do it never goes away." The new Mrs Moakes said: "I've loved him all my life, I'm overjoyed, we're together at last." Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info |
I was thirteen-years-old on 16 June 1977 when thousands of children were massacred in Soweto, South Africa. Today, that massacre is commemorated as the Day of the African Child, but for South Africans, this was the day that the young gave their lives for freedom. Around that time, I also peered into the window of my neighbour’s house, where the TV taught us about The Ogaden War between Somalia and Ethiopia. At the time, the US was backing the Somalis whilst Ethiopia was supported by the Soviet Union. Two years earlier, the battleground for that proxy battle had been Angola, where a civil war lasted almost three decades. Again, it all played out on that small television that we could only watch through the window. This small box was a wondrous thing – our window onto the world. We gathered every evening to watch films and TV programmes of Africans killing and maiming each other. From across the continent – South Africa, Congo, Somalia, Nigeria, Angola – all we would see about our apparently godforsaken content was senseless bloodshed and destruction. As this screen showed us this African brutality, it also brought us images of hope, peace and happiness. But these were images from far-off worlds – better worlds – called America and Britain. The small box persuaded us that these countries were the only sources of good in the world. Who would not fall in love with rich, far-away lands when our own continent was consumed by war, disease and famine? Sometimes we children would cry as we watched the endless images of violence. The adults who were watching with us would say, “You’ve only just started crying. This place is finished.” Africa is finished! That message got stuck in my head. Growing up, I wanted nothing but to leave this depressing, violent place. Very innocently, I began to hate my continent. I was desperate to flee to a beautiful, exciting, better world called England. Eventually, I made it. But in an ironic twist of fate, I found myself presenting TV programmes on that same small box, communicating to a new generation of Africans and viewers around the world. It was a responsibility I never imagined. Together our team, called Insight TWI, tried to make films that were truer to the continent – films with more depth and nuance. We produced documentaries of which I am very proud — important films with impact such as: ‘Cry Freetown’, which revealed horrors perpetrated by both rebels and peacekeepers during Sierra Leone, my country’s, civil war; ‘Exodus from Africa‘, about the frustrations and dreams that push Africans on treacherous journeys to Europe in search of better lives; and ‘Living with Corruption‘, an immersive view from Kenya of this most toxic of problems. These programmes fostered a more sophisticated understanding of my continent and won awards. Yet over the years I began to feel uneasy. In many ways, we were covering the same old ground: African despair and desperation. More and more fellow Africans asked me to show a different side to my continent. These requests reminded me of the young boy who once huddled outside his neighbour’s house, seeing only wretched images of his homeland flickering on that small box. It occurred to me that, despite my best intentions, I had perpetuated many of the same stereotypes that made me feel so angry about the state of Africa in my youth. And that anger hadn’t inspired me to stay and build. It had inspired me to flee. These thoughts hit me hard. I came to realise that the way our stories were being told was part of the problem. International media coverage of Africa has been one-dimensional. It focuses on death, disease and disaster. We never saw an alternative perspective. The fact is that most TV editors at major broadcasters are not particularly interested in Africa, and when they are, their interest usually feeds into the well-worn narrative of Africa as nothing but a basket case continent where unspeakable things happen. This is why I am so excited about a new project I am producing, a film that might have altered my early impressions of Africa had I seen it in my youth. ‘Sierra Leone: An Artist’s Journey’ is a feature-length documentary about a celebrated artist in my country who is on a mission to inspire a generation of Sierra Leoneans with a unifying and visionary work of theatre. For me, it is a rare chance to tell a different type of story from Africa, and particularly Sierra Leone – a country that has become a byword for African dysfunction. There will always be a need for films that expose wrong-doing and injustice, but I am grateful for the opportunity to produce an inspiring film from Africa that will show the world my country’s art and imagination in a way that has rarely been seen. Source: The Positive Story - http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/after-witnessing-horror-this-filmmaker.html |
Ngozi Nwega lives down a dirt alley in a two-room concrete apartment in Benin City, Nigeria. When I entered her living room with HIV outreach workers from the health unit at the Archdiocese of Benin City, she was barefoot and smiling. She curtsied to me, showed me to the faded couch, and walked over and turned down the volume on the TV. The Curious George cartoon was much too loud. Ngozi sat down next to me and poured her heart out: a forced marriage at 15, a husband who died after contracting HIV, a family that rejected her. Two of her children died soon after they were born. She became desperately ill. Nkechi, her oldest daughter, quit school to take care of her. Ngozi’s new husband – who paid for medical bills after she became ill – tried to strangle her, saying she would die anyway. Ngozi told me this with the relaxed tone of someone reading the ingredients on a can of soup. We’d only been there 10 minutes when the electricity cut out. The overhead fan stopped. And I started sweating. The room grew thick with humid heat. Perspiration poured down my back. This, I thought to myself, this is what Ngozi and the kids sleep in every night. “The man returned me to my parents,” she continued. “On the way to the village, it’s a miracle I didn’t die. When I got to the village, everyone ran from me. Even my father ran away.” The stigma of HIV is high in Nigeria. Many believe it’s a death sentence. Maybe it was the heat. Or maybe the rush of memories overwhelmed her. But Ngozi lost it. She cried into her blue wraparound skirt, each memory pushing out more tears. But she refused to stop telling her story. It was a testimony, she said. It was cathartic, I thought. But then she found the Archdiocese of Benin City. Catholic Relief Services supports their health unit and the team that works with HIV-positive Nigerians and their children. Vivienne, an outreach worker through the archdiocese, came to Ngozi’s house and gave her rice and beans. She took the kids to the zoo. She made sure the children’s school fees were paid. And that the mosquito net was hung and Ngozi takes her antiretroviral drugs. We walked outside her apartment and all piled onto the decaying couch. I put my arms around Ngozi and her family. I couldn’t believe that this smiling, resilient woman next to me, this woman who is my own age, had lived through all this. I couldn’t believe she shared such an intimate story with me. No matter what you are going through, you are not alone. Stay Positive! Source: The Positive Story. http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/the-positive-story-of-woman-living-with.html |
From Selling Moin-Moin to travelling round the World: The Positive Story of Ayodeji Mebope Ayodeji Mebope runs a catering outfit (called) No Left Over Nigeria PLC which she started with an initial capital of N1,000 by selling moin-moin (bean cake). She was trained as a confidential secretary, and worked in Corona Primary School for about nine years and on her resignation from Corona, she had the intention of starting a playgroup and not a catering outfit. To actualize this, she enrolled in a six-month Montessori programme. But at the end of the period, she lost interest in pursuing the ambition. To get herself busy, she started cooking for her sister-in-law, who was an extremely busy career woman. One day, her sister-in-law visited her house and joined Ayodeji and her family as they were having moin-moin, as a meal. She enjoyed it so much that she insisted that moin-moin must be included in her menu in which Ayodeji charged N1,000 for. And from there, family members, friends and colleagues began to place orders. In three months of selling to a few family and friends, her turnover was running into N30, 000 - N40, 000. She decided to take the business more seriously and at that point realised that the best way to achieve success in business is to have a high turnover. The first question that came to her mind was where can she go to make her product available in the wider market? She went to the school she previously worked to hawk moin-moin for sale and that opened her up to a larger market. Even with the income from the sales of moin moin at Corona, she could not really account for the sales, expenses and profit. She had no proper financial account and believed she needed to build her capacity. Coincidentally, she came across an advert on the newspaper saying that a United organisation was coming into Nigeria to invest in women entrepreneurs with little or no business. That was the Goldman Sachs 10,000 women program in collaboration with the Enterprise Development Centre of the Pan-African University. An essay was required from interested applicants about their businesses and growth potentials. Ayodeji participated in the essay and was shortlisted and awarded a scholarship. She simply wrote what she was doing - selling and hawking moin-moin in front of a school. The 5-months program opened her eyes to the fact that she needed to put her finances together, and properly structure her business to ensure her sales and expenditure are clearly spelt. After the program, she was determined to run the business truly like a business. She opened a bank account for the company and started setting up business structures. The company had moved from one single product company (Moin-Moin) to a full catering outfit, where catering for 1,000 people. Consequently, Ayodeji Megbope was invited to New York to address the Annual General Meeting of Goldman Sachs with satellite links to other viewing centres of the bank around the world. She was also invited by President Bill Clinton to his annual Clinton Global Initiative. She was also on a panel at the Turkish Prime Minister’s Global Summit on Entrepreneurship through the invitation of the Turkish Government in Istanbul, Turkey and the panel featured other entrepreneurs from different parts of the world. In addition, she delivers motivational speeches on her success story at events across the Nigeria. The most important message she has is never to be afraid to start small and never to be afraid to start with any amount. She will like to encourage the young entrepreneurs to have a good business plan because it helps with proper planning and projection. Also, she advised that the financial records must be properly kept. In her words “That would help the business to know when to make the next move, when to expand and how to expand”. Source: The Positive Story. www.thepositivestory.info
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When Sibongile Sambo, a 42-year old woman from South Africa, was told by South African Airways that she did not qualify for a flight attendant position because she did not meet their minimum height requirement, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She became an entrepreneur, and started her very own airline called SRS Aviation, and until this day, her company is the only Black woman-owned and operated aviation company in South Africa. So, how did she do it? Starting an airline is not an easy or cheap thing to do, but despite this, she was still able to get it off the ground. First, she formed her company and gave it the name of SRS Aviation. Then, she bid and won a contract for cargo transport issued by the South African government and formed a partnership with MCC Aviation - a South African-based fixed & rotor wing charter operator. Finally, she sold her car and cashed out her mother’s pension to help her obtain an Air Operating Certificate from the South African Civil Aviation Authority (CAA). It wasn't an easy process, but she was able to raise the needed capital and make it work! Now, Sambo's company offers their clients professional and personalized flight options to destinations in Africa and around the world. Their services include VIP charters, tourist charters, cargo charters, game count & capture, and helicopter services. Her customers pay anywhere from $1,000 USD to $200,000 USD per flight. Her vision Sambo's vision is to be the number one choice in affordable air service solutions for individuals and businesses, locally and worldwide, by providing an unparalleled air service. She also aims to uphold the highest safety standards. When it comes to giving back to her local community, she is also very passionate about helping young people by sharing her knowledge and expertise. During a recent interview with CNN, she commented, "I'm where I am today because somebody invested in me. It’s my opportunity now to invest in other people." For more details about SRS Aviation, visit www.srsaviation.co.za Source: The Positive Story - http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/woman-rejected-by-airline-decides-to.html
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Fred was having a bad day. He woke up in a bad mood and wasn’t afraid to show it. Bill was having a good day until he ran into Fred, then after hearing of Fred’s bad day, Bill started to have a bad day too. Together, they met the smiling Martha. She wasn’t smiling at the end of their conversation. Martha was still frowning when she met her friend Jack. Jack was having a good day and he wasn’t going to let Martha’s frown change that. By the end of their interaction, Martha was smiling again. Martha then bumped into Mohammad. Mohammad had been having a bad day up until then, but after talking with Martha, his day turned around. Mohammad then had a catch up with Fred, whose day hadn’t improved since the moment he woke up. But by the end, he too was at peace with the world and feeling better about life. Here’s the thing. We all have the occasional bad day. When you do, please don’t let that impact the lives of the people around you. When you are having a good day, please don’t allow others to get you down. But bring light into dark places. Bring a smile to those who are frowning. Be a positive influence who changes the world one interaction at a time. From The Positive Story: http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/how-you-can-influence-world.html |
This accidental car thief might have gotten away with the perfect crime – except the culprit didn’t have any criminal intentions at all. Erin Hatzi woke up at her home in Portland, Oregon on Tuesday to find her old red Subaru missing from the driveway. After checking her security footage, she saw the cameras had filmed someone getting into her car and sitting with the engine idling for seven minutes before finally driving away. Thinking that it was peculiar for a car thief to waste time in the owner’s driveway, Erin filed a police report for her stolen automobile. She didn’t have to wait very long, however, when on Wednesday evening, Erin’s husband saw a police officer talking to a woman who had returned the car with a note–and cash– left inside. The note read: “Hello, So sorry I stole your car. I sent my friend with my key to pick up my red Subaru at 7802 SE Woodstock and she came back with your car. I did not see the car until this morning and I said, ‘That is not my car.’ There is some cash for gas and I more than apologize for the shock and upset this must have caused you. If you need to speak further, with me, I am ______ and my number is _____. So so sorry for this mistake.” As it turns out, the intended car was parked 10 yards away from the “stolen” car, and older Subaru keys are sometimes interchangeable with other model’s locks, which resulted in the mix-up. Source: The Positive Story. http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/woman-finds-her-stolen-car-returned.html |
When Sylvester Stallone was born, he had complications which led to a paralysis of the lower left side of his face, including parts of his tongue, lip, and chin. This is the reason for his look and manner of speaking. In his early years, he lived in an area of New York known as Hell's Kitchen where he moved from one foster home to another. He often received suspensions for his frequent fights, poor grades, and behavioural problems. After attending college, Sylvester moved to New York to pursue an acting career. He tried out for nearly each and every casting call he could and contacted as many casting agents as he could find, without success. He came across a casting call for a soft-core pornography film and out of desperation he attended the casting call. For two days of filming, he received $200. Afterward, things went bad. He was evicted from his apartment due to his inability to pay the rent. He lived on the Streets with his dog but had to sell the dog for $25 because he was unable to feed it. A few days later, Sylvester saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY which he wrote for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. However, he not only wanted to sell the script but he wanted to star in it as well. The studio he approached refused because of the way he looked and talked and they wanted a famous star. He was then offered $250,000 for the script and $350,000 but he refused. Eventually, he was offered $35,000 for the script and allowed to star in it. The movie won Best Picture, Best Directing, and Best Film Editing at the prestigious Oscar Awards. He was even nominated for BEST ACTOR! The Movie ROCKY was even inducted into the American National Film Registry as one of the greatest movies ever! From then, he went back to buy back the dog he had sold. The person he had sold the dog to didn’t want to sell it back to him at the price he offered. They began to bargain until finally, Sylvester bought the dog he had sold for $25 at $15,000. Sylvester Stallone has gone on to being very successful in his movie career. This became possible because he refused to give up on his dream and remained positive. Never give up on your dreams! It is only a matter of time. Source: The Positive Story. http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/from-homelessness-to-stardom-inspiring.html |
When I was a senior in high school, I worked at a Root Beer Drive-In. I would get off earlier than my friend, Judie, who was employed at the local café. I liked to wait there until she was done with her shift. Mostly because I saw this good-looking guy eating there from time to time. I encouraged Judie to find out about him. She gradually questioned him and learned that he worked for the railroad. More important, he wasn’t married. I knew he wouldn’t pay any attention to a high school girl, so I waited until I graduated to pursue him. I got a job as a secretary at the local bank. Sure enough, I was in the perfect place to find him again. My gentleman came in twice a month to do business. I told my mom I wanted to meet this certain fella but didn’t know how to go about it. She said, “Send him a card.” It was nearly Christmas, so I picked out a card with an elf wearing a bell on his cap. I signed it from “an admiring blonde receptionist” and mailed it to him. Instead of stamping the envelope with a return address, I ran the card through the postal meter at the bank. My gentleman was forced to ask Ernie at the post office which businesses in town had postal meters. “There’s only one,” Ernie said, “and it belongs to the local bank.” The day my mother’s advice came to fruition, I was wearing a red jacket with a black-and-white skirt. I watched him scan the bank until his eyes found me. My fella came straight to the receptionist desk and asked me out; there and then, I was sure my cheeks turned as red as my jacket. I didn’t want to act too eager, though. I told him I couldn’t go out that week because my grandma was visiting. He took it well, and we rescheduled our date for New Year’s Eve. We dated steadily from that day on and married in early May. A year later, I came across the same Christmas card. I sent it to him again, signed from “an admiring blonde wife.” Source: The Positive Story - http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/see-what-happened-when-receptionist.html |
Life could be though and you may be trying as hard as you can but yet no results to show. Are you thinking of quitting? Before you quit, please read what Abraham Lincoln, one of the greatest presidents in the United States history, went through: 1816 His family was forced out of their home. He had to work to support them. 1818 His mother died. 1831 Failed in business. 1832 Ran for state legislature – lost. 1832 Also lost his job – wanted to go to law school but couldn’t get in. 1833 Borrowed some money from a friend to begin a business and by the end of the year he was bankrupt. He spent the next 17 years of his life paying off this debt. 1834 Ran for state legislature again – won. 1835 Was engaged to be married, sweetheart died and his heart was broken. 1836 Had a total nervous breakdown and was in bed for six months. 1838 Sought to become speaker of the state legislature – defeated. 1840 Sought to become elector – defeated. 1843 Ran for Congress – lost. 1846 Ran for Congress again – this time he won – went to Washington and did a good job. 1848 Ran for re-election to Congress – lost. 1849 Sought the job of land officer in his home state – rejected. 1854 Ran for Senate of the United States – lost. 1856 Sought the Vice-Presidential nomination at his party’s national convention – gets less than 100 votes. 1858 Ran for U.S. Senate again – again he lost. 1860 Elected president of the United States. In addition, Abraham Lincoln was born into poverty and could have quit many times but he didn’t. Because he didn’t quit, he became one of the greatest presidents in the history of the United States of America. Take the time to evaluate your situation. Is there something you are not doing right? Stay Positive... Stay happy and don't give up hope. Source: The Positive Story: http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/before-you-quit-read-this.html |
There was a boy, whose family was very wealthy. One day his father took him on a trip to the country, where he aimed to show his son how poor people live. So they arrived to a farm of a very poor family, as he considered. They spent there several days. On their return, the father asked his son, "Did you like the trip?" "Oh, it was great, dad" – the boy replied. "Did you notice how poor people live?" "Yeah, I did"- said the boy. The father asked his son to tell in more details about his impressions from their trip. "Well, we have only one dog, and they have four of them. In our garden there is a pool, while they have a river that has no end. We've got expensive lanterns, but they have stars above their heads at night. We have the patio, and they have the whole horizon. We have only a small piece of land, while they have the endless fields. We buy food, but they grow it. We have high fence for protection of our property, and they don‘t need it, as their friends protect them." The father was stunned. He could not say a word. Then the boy added: "Thank you, dad, for letting me see how poor we are." This story shows that the true wealth as well as happiness is not measured by materials things. Love, friendship and freedom are far more valuable. Source: The Positive Story http://www.thepositivestory.info/2016/11/after-wealthy-man-and-his-son-visited.html |
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