₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Apination:
What happened to your car you were using to hustle?

Switchman:
Though you sounded harsh to me but the fact is that you are actually right cos that was the most stupid decision I took and I can't reverse that which is why am here to seek advise so I won't make a more worse one.

Like I said I had a back up plan which is my car I left in Lagos and intentionally don't want to bring it to Abuja to do side hustle cos I want to know her attitudes in worse case scenario and I never expected within 3 months she will turn boss lady on me.

McSquishi:
Well, firstly why did you accept the interest of a woman who you perceived was only interested in you due to her “age and desperation”? Why would u want to be chosen based on desperation?

You should be mindful that because she is the breadwinner she is not treating you like the house help by expecting to you to manage the home, she is treating you like the other half. When one goes out and works the other stays home and gets things in order there.

You should want to be doing so well managing the home duties that she almost forgets to be disappointed in the fact that you’ve failed to earn an income. Have dinner waiting, keep the place spotless, fold her clothes...

But it’s nice to see a man recognizing that the duties of managing the home isn’t easy

Switchman:
I actually don't have issues with the house chores as a way to assist her but the bad mouth is really killing me.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Zzor:
I really don't know what to type but lefulefu,dairykidd and few others can give you good advise,take it easy on yourself while you plan your exit,but why did you quickly jump on the offer of living with her don't do that next time

BarristerAlarig:
You are a very nasty person who feels entitled to other people's money. So you have a car, which could have been used for ehailing services to generate income pending when you get a job but you choose to leave it idle in Lagos while expecting a woman to shoulder your responsibilities in this harsh economy because you want to "test" her??

So when they get married and it happens that he loses everything, what happens then? Will she be nicer?


You deserve everything you are getting. I pray she throws you out.

pocohantas:
They are MANY in Abuja and PH, but we are not ready for that conversation. One hook my friend, small girl o. The kind chest pain that guy dey give her ehn?!

Shokoloko:
If you were my son, even as old as you are, I will beat the living daylight out of you.
Go back to Lagos immediately.

You tried to play a game you have not mastered, now you have been played.

From your write-up you never liked this woman. You loved her desperation

Leave that house now. Go do uber with your car. If you have no accommodation, sleep in your car.

TheLasyBuddha:
He expects her to come back from work and still do the dishes. You could still do all of that and still earn your respect as a man. Na conduct.
There are times when I visit my girlfriend, if the sink is filled and I noticed she is stressed due to work, I will do the dishes before leaving. I don't have a job yet but the respect dey.
Women who are older expect differently from a man, especially things that challenges the male ego and men tend to view this as burden.

She isn't desperate. She wants a mature person to be with but the OP no fit get that kind level of it.

MufasaLion:
As much as I like older women. You're just a SIMP!.

BRATISLAVA:
When I mentioned that there are many sugar boys hanging around malls and fancy places, one idiot was here acting daft. I told him that he's probably one of those stupid guys that see you with a trolley and come and push it for you, you thinking they're helpful staff, then he begins to talk useless propositions, he thought I was feeling fly about being at the mall. Come to these places and your eyes will open wiiiiide.

Women should beware of gold digging men. They're everywhere.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Shokoloko:
If you were my son, even as old as you are, I will beat the living daylight out of you.
Go back to Lagos immediately.

You tried to play a game you have not mastered, now you have been played.

From your write-up you never liked this woman. You loved her desperation

Leave that house now. Go do uber with your car. If you have no accommodation, sleep in your car.

franchasng:
Honestly I am amazed by this thread.

This Op is a disgrace to men.


He thought he could play the lady, but God pass him. He should ask for forgiveness and go back to Lagos and start his life afresh and this time, be a good man who believe in himself and what God alone can do for him.

Zzor:
Go learn how to talk to a depressed person or you think we don't know how to scold him?be mindful of what you type as depression is already involved or you simply read and pass.sabi sabi

Switchman:
I actually don't have issues with the house chores as a way to assist her but the bad mouth is really killing me.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman