₦airaland Forum

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

Due to her age and desperation, it seems you are more desperate than she was. we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time you really do have issues. what chased you from your job? which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos[b] I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her[/b]. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. [/b]No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, [b]I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry so after she paid for house, you want her to come back from work and cook, clean and wash your boxers, whilst you do what exactly?? though she pays for her own,

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos[b] I know my days are numbered [/b] very true and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
Three months pass and am already feeling the heat, for now just wanna play the fool and double my hustle without letting her know my plans and at the slightest opportunity I move. Nothing as sickening as having a nagging wife

Yusufisraelj:
You're entitled to your opinion no doubt, but a counsel was sort and you were not constructive in your depositions. Think about it.

@Switchman

Sincerely sorry for your situation, firstly you made mention on owning a vehicle, do Uber or Bolt you are guaranteed of 20K profit per week, I think I have someone to link you with, however just download the app and follow instructions, if you will need cash to Kickstart borrow from the lady with a payback time, but don't be too quick to give a deadline enter first and see how revenue comes.

Secondly I should suspect you have a skill, go somewhere where it's needed and probably work for small fee, the gist is this, you would want to build connections around that industry. You see money is largely a function of relationships, who you know and who likes you matters.

Thirdly go out and do conductor or something to get acquainted with abj and raise something for yourself. Don't stay at home 247.

But of Apex importance be a man with a regimented time of daily prayers minimum 30minutes if u re a Christian, blasting in tongues, you can't just come to a place and start succeeding, you must be helped and even more so you need divine ideas to succeed. Every money problem is an idea problem, you need to be inspired and work on connectivity. Cheers

Japhet1944:
God bless you for me bro
Your contribution is very rare Nd timely
Love u sir.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Baiser:
Dumbo, you are the less smart one here.
He came to NL for advice because he has realised his mistake not to listen to your whining and attempt to malign him.

Advise or STFU, why waste so much strength in beating a dead horse. Hole-ass

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
Thanks for the advise,

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

kepstone:
Everything you said here is very very wrong. U are not in his shoes so u can't judge. I have been in this situation before, the issue is not the money but that the said lady lacks the character and qualities of been a wife marriageble for the long term. If she truly loved him she won't use subliminal languages to communicate to him, she is attacking his ego thereby killing his morale. She is not wise, oga u have not found a wife, move pick the piece of ur life and move. Ur wife they somewhere else waiting for u. There are rough times In marriage so if it happens this is what she will do lead him to his death. Any lady that her definition of love and respect is based on money is not a wife. Love transcend material things or benefits. Beside the money all na for this life we go leave am. Please money is important but find a woman who values you beyond money and what she can benefit.... Shaking my head for this generation.

aroundtheearth:
You resigned from your job to move in with a woman you're not married to because you assumed she's desperate and probably a mumu you can take advantage of or mooch off on not knowing your actions could backfire. Well, you're not married, so you can leave if you can't handle the situation because it turned out she's no mumu afterall, but I'm guessing you ain't got no money to move out. Pele

tunjijones:
Whats your educational qualifications and which part of Abuja do you reside.

You made a foolish mistake but that doesn't mean there is mo correction for this mistake.

Ishilove:
It seems like you are washing one woman's pant somewhere, which is why you are taking this matter to heart. E pele o, Honourable Member, Association of Houseboy Boyfriends.

Baiser:
There is no big deal in washing a womans panties.
Its only on nairaland you can be forming Macho-man.
Empty broke barrel.

Jaqenhghar:
Gbam! If I tell these fools here they start calling me names. You cant get the best of women and expect her to foot your bills. Its usually the expired ones and the ugly that will give you money
Evilneedle and co. Come and learn

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Ishilove:
It seems like you are washing one woman's pant somewhere, which is why you are taking this matter to heart. E pele o, Honourable Member, Association of Houseboy Boyfriends.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

lightblazingnow:
You better calm down and think this Through properly.

Truth be told, you have played selfish impatiently. Or it's due to the fact that you expected her to sponsor you through, why would you even contemplate keeping back your car, for plan B?

When you confessed openly how she spent lot's of cash and even has 99.9 stake in the apartment you two agreed to rent.

You have been very selfish, keep posing, you are thinking " better offer will come again". You are very wrong, very wrong.

Remember all she has done for you in the past and judge her for those, not what you are seeing right now, because you caused her to be frustrated. You are not contributing, you are too secretive, open up and wake up before you end up in the village for the evil you are paying back to your destiny helper.

Be wise and strong and act in love and appreciation, appreciate everything God Almighty has used her to do in your life. Such a good breed.

I need to call her and pray with her for strength, you really broken her down brother wake before you get judged please please please.

Thanks

bukatyne:
Very annoying and ungrateful OP.

See his mouth like 'I cannot live in a small space' yet one kobo he did not have.

I blame the woman.

descarado:
You know, this reminded me of one lady that was a tenant in my sis house. She met the guy where ever and they started dating. He was working in one govt establishment in a town while she work as a staff( sec) in shell Ph
Lady advices him to quit cos there should be more job opportunities in the city for him than her quoting and going to that town.
Easier said than done. Guy stayed 1 yr, no job. You know sec wear cover shoes and suits. Na so he dey clean, dust and air shoes, dry clean work clothes and what have you

Sometimes this lady will come back, see him taking her shoes inside and she will start admonishing him. Please stop. You make me feel so bad. He said he knew how to do ice cream so she got all that's needed and he started. Supplying some places, and still searching for work. 2nd yr, they got married. Lady did everything, bought a car for him to use for his ice cream biz and was still on the look out for job for him.
We go to their house to eat afang soup. Guy is the best cook I have ever known. Even my married sis will disappear to their house to eat from his pot( akwaibom),
One day, when I came for holiday after a long time, I saw they now have 2 cars, guy has a job at shell courtesy of the wife. She bought a new car for him and took the first one.

Even my inlaw one day said that this is a man.



This guy would have enjoyed this lady to the fullest and she will press all necessary buttons to make sure he get employed but pride goes before a fall. He don't even like her. I pray better man come her way.

Who knows the empty promises he made to her. How he had 10million in his account.
Mbok

crackhaus:
Cool story, but as it was said in the old testament:

Amos 3:3 (King James Version)
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?


The lady in your story made it easy for the guy to do everything he did. She probably most certainly never made him feel less of a man despite.

Descarado, note that my comment above is purely in response to your story... nothing to do with the OP.

Personally, I am much too proud to live permanently with any woman that I am/was dating... in her own house... a house she's paying rent for... Hah!!!
I don't know how any of these men do it, I can't be comfortable lai lai.

Any thing more than a month is even classified as "permanently" in my mind... yet some men are able to quit their jobs, drop their previous lives, and move in with a woman (a woman) only to end up staying months, some staying years...

It's not normal

Richy4:
What you are battling with is nothing but superiority Complex.... In your mind/ heart you have lined up how a man should be... A man should not wash his own cloth, a man should not do chores etc... That is just nonsense...Someone that altered her simple life style of living in an apartment and foots majority of the bills just to meet your demand half way, you were not even grateful... For your information, A lot of married men do chores.... If anyone on social media tells you otherwise, he is lying to u...

Besides, You know very well that covid-19 disrupted a lot of things around the world including Nigeria.. and you should know the average time frame that one would look for job around the world has doubled because of the pandemic... Take it easy with yourself... Be a little humble and focus on your goal... Though I simply wish that Lady saw a better man who will love her in return instead of u... because your Ego is higher than Kilimanjaro...

skj1377:
I know a Dr that resigned from a government hospital to join his wife in lagos. Few years down the line she divorced him and married another man who also had to retire from university of Ibadan to join her in lagos. On one of my visits to their house they had a heated quarrel, the kind of words exchanged that day shaped my life. Fast-forward a few years I was to relocate to London to join my girlfriend because that was the sensible thing to do.. The relationship had to end because I was not ready to drop my life in Nigeria. Am doing fine in Nigeria so the moral of the story is Dont relocate for love period.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Switchman:
I wasn't even thinking of becoming a parasite cos we both were doing fine when we met and she promised all the support she can give till I settle down fully but with the covid 19 lockdown and all the whole thing changed.

It was a genuine feelings I had for cos what she lacked in beauty and my taste she gave it back in being caring and love but the absence of money from end is not helping matters and the beast in her was so uncoverable no more.