My sadness consumes me.. I live every day in fear and dread.. I cannot escape.. I'm trapped by my circumstances.. and I am utterly doomed by them.. I one of those people who no one knows or cares about.. whose own relatives turn away from , because they don't care that I am disabled , and choose to shun and disdain me as a bum, because I cannot work.. they have lives of relative comfort and security.. and don't care that I will end my days in abject and unbearable misery.. alone, and unwanted or cared about, by anyone.. just as I always feared I would .. even as a child..imagine going through your entire life with this underlying sensation of inexplicable dread.. brooding in the back of your mind.. vague.. and distant.. but .. always there.. I told myself I would stop it , and I tried.. in whatever ways I could achieve.. but it wasn't anywhere near enough.. financial security was the thing I needed most of all.. far more than those who are capable of finding their way, in life.. because I am literally blocked from being able to reach the same goals.. that would have helped me to secure for myself , some measure of safety, and security.. not to mention acceptance in an increasingly hostile and intolerant world and society.. so eager to dole out shame , and contempt , and judgement.. without any interest in circumstances.. they just don't care.. I feel lost , utterly.. hopeless.. and already condemned to a fate I fought so hard to avoid.. my future, is no future.. at all.. no family , no sustinence, no real security of any kind.. no love .. what kind of future is that to face?.. a future without hope.. even from those who could provide it.. and would literally save my life by doing so.. but elect not to, out of nothing more than contempt and disdainful snobbish and self absorbed, elitist bigotry.. I can't even imagine doing that to someone in my family , whom I know and grew up with.. if it were the other way around.. it would never even enter my mind to just leave them to suffer the fate of homelessness, and despair.. it would be unthinkable.. on my part.. and the pain, I feel .. at knowing these people I cared about and loved.. could so easily leave me to so grim and terrible a fate..and justify it in their minds ,by blaming it all on me.. because I never made a success of my life..that hurts most of all..who chooses to be a failure , willingly.. especially when they know they have no security to sustain them in the future..when they are alone..who freely ,would choose that fate..?..no one..that's who.

This sounds like a drama. It will sell of the actors were on stage right now

The only time you are a failure is when you have "PERSONALLY" accepted to be a failure.

So I can authoritatively tell you that you are a failure. Its a mind thing.

you're not a failure, don't allow anyone to make you feel like you failed. You're only getting better, be strong, stay positive and stay alive.

God bless you

HacheNoire:
The only time you are a failure is when you have "PERSONALLY" accepted to be a failure.

So I can authoritatively tell you that you are a failure. Its a mind thing.

miss me with all the motivational bullshit...
im going through real life storms...

i have let so many people down countlessly!

i have run a business to the ground

ruined friendships, burnt bridges with my family

people have given up on me

my own blood told me "sink or swim" it doaent matter to them... and ure saying its all in my head! how very insensitive

culf:
you're not a failure, don't allow anyone to make you feel like you failed. You're only getting better, be strong, stay positive and stay alive.

God bless you

i appreciate this but, thanks for your kind words

Hashabiah:
This sounds like a drama. It will sell of the actors were on stage right now

real life issues

you may find it hard to belive cos u are leaving in a glass house

ashybabs:


real life issues

you may find it hard to belive cos u are leaving in a glass house

I am sorry to say but I find your narrative very hard to believe. And lastly, I do not live in a "glass house ", neither do I live in comfort, and whatever I have now has been the product of two things : God and hardwork.

Hashabiah:
I am sorry to say but I find your narrative very hard to believe. And lastly, I do not live in a "glass house ", neither do I live in comfort, and whatever I have now has been the product of two things : God and hardwork.

oh so u dont live in a glass house! ur a goody 2 shoes
no wonder!

u find it hard to belive because u cannot relate on any level at all

which speaks plenty of ur personality...
its either u are not exposed to pain, or u have been shut out of the harsh realities of life

which u shud thank God for, but despite your luxury i do not envy you, on the contraey i feel sorry for u

ashybabs:


oh so u dont live in a glass house! ur a goody 2 shoes
no wonder!

u find it hard to belive because u cannot relate on any level at all

which speaks plenty of ur personality...
its either u are not exposed to pain, or u have been shut out of the harsh realities of life

which u shud thank God for, but despite your luxury i do not envy you, on the contraey i feel sorry for u

...look buddy, you don't know me, so you can't feel anything chub! So let put that hogwash aside. And while you're at it, do away with the self-pity act because that won't change shit about you or anything about your life. And if you can't change shit, you'll be on your ass forever.

ashybabs:

i appreciate this but, thanks for your kind words

I'm not saying it to make you feel good, its the truth. Keep your head up high, develop a tough skin that anything said by anyone against you will not enter you. Pray to God, be patient, continue doing what you do and see them coming tomorrow to beg you.

Never give up bro, else they will win. Never give up

You're not a failure.

You are not a failure, you have never been and will never be!!!

People have gone through worst and are out stronger,
Don't lose hope Bro, the light is closer than you can imagine!