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Stats: 2,695,924 members, 6,355,193 topics. Date: Thursday, 24 June 2021 at 11:32 PM
|Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by WhiteRuler: 4:57pm On May 05|
First of all, apologies for any errors you may come across as I am not at the right frame of mind now.
Secondly, this post is 100% real about my life. So nothing is fake in it.
I'm a man, precisely 33 years old. I graduated from the University in 2019 at age 31. You may ask why I was still in school till that age. Well, I have realized that family/parental background matters a lot in a child's life no matter how people try to twist the fact. My family/parental background wasn't a good one educationally and financially as my parents were just petty traders and this has contributed negatively in achieving my goals and aspirations in life. With the above, you can deduce that there was no sources of funding for my tertiary education so I had to find a job after my secondary school while very ambitious about my furthering my education because I always believed in acquiring education up to university level. This led me to doing several odd jobs such as construction site labourer, security guard, cleaning, barbing, hawking, even to remove soak away and many others just to feed and see myself through school. Let me also add that @33 now, there are some jobs I can't do again because of some changes in my health system occasioned by some of the odd jobs I exposed myself to. For example, any strenuous job now is not for me as it makes me breath heavily like an asthmatic patient; any job that requires standing for long or bending down not for me due to broken waist (although these might be solvable issues but for now, I can't tell cos I have no money to visit health facility).
Moving on, while I may be thanking God for the academic success (even though the school is yet to issue me certificate) but I'm having strong feelings about myself. I feel like I have failed in life. I feel like I am a failure. My mates who got admission into university immediately after secondary school are gainfully employed today, living in comfortable apartment (built or rented), married with kids, have their own car and generally doing well. Even the ones who didn't further but venture into learning trade are doing well too. On the other hand, at 33, I have virtually nothing to show for it. Still living in one thatch house, poor, hungry and starving, no wife, no kid(s) (not even a serious girlfriend), no job, no car and nothing to show for my 33 years on earth. This is why I'm feeling like I have failed in life and it has made me to always be ashamed of myself and always trying to avoid meeting my mates who are doing well.
Also, looking at the country Nigeria, most employers recruit under 30. @33, what are my chances of
landing a good job if I refuse to forge age and go for service but collect exemption letter? What are even the possibility of getting a job as I have no capital for business? Note: between 2019 and now, I've learnt several online money making skills but yet to make a kobo out of it all. Note also: ordinarily, I wouldn't seek employment (private or government) because I'm multi talented e.g in football, entertainment or business but these talents need money to develop which is what I'm lacking.
Please what do you all think? Do you think I have failed or I'm a failure in life? What is the future holding for me? As at today, the only thing I can boast of is "I am a graduate". Nothing more...like I said, poor, hungry and starving.
Help me with good pieces of advice please before my mind begins to consider evil as fastest way of making money. Thanks.
156 Likes 18 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Officialgarri: 5:00pm On May 05|
I don't know why many of you always seek public validation when you have a head to think for yourself.
If I call you a success or a failure, it has little or no effect on your effort to strive harder and beyond where you are currently at.
It is left for you to ask yourself; am I comfortable with this stage I am?
Is there something I can do to improve myself?
Asking yourself a few of these questions out of so many is enough to make you decide rather than wait for some faceless people who don't give an actual F**ck about you to encourage you or weigh you down.
399 Likes 25 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by The5DME(m): 5:01pm On May 05|
I can't help you. Sorry.
5 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Omihanifa: 5:05pm On May 05|
You don't have a problem nah
27 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Bornsinner7: 5:20pm On May 05|
Believe in God like the sun up in the sky see science can tell us how but they can't tell us why.. I've seen a baby cry then seconds later she laughed the beauty of life the pain never last..
There are no rules to life... No stated age for achieving of anything.. there are people who had graduated long ago in their 20s without jobs and there are people making it towards there 40s..
I understand it hurts to see your mates looking like they are ahead.. you just got to believe in the wonders tomorrow holds..
245 Likes 21 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by design108: 5:48pm On May 05|
There's no stopping man.
You have to keep grinding. Some of ya mates have also died.
Nothing in life is fair but you got to continue the hustle.
244 Likes 12 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by boriswole: 5:48pm On May 05|
Life is not a fair race. It is not the person that started first that will win. There is still a high possibility that you will be more successful than your friends that graduated 10 years before you.
Focus on working hard and fixing your health. Whenever you wake up, thats your own morning. Run your own race.
139 Likes 8 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Diffdeef(m): 5:48pm On May 05|
You're 33 and alive,Have more years ahead,You're not a failure in my book.
174 Likes 13 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by ecomalchemist(m): 5:48pm On May 05|
Na Desmond Idiot, sorry Elliot....cause am.
Imma keep it one hunnid with you bro, no one really cares about what you going through. I understand that your current state is quite pathetic.
Nigeria is hard, you have to go the extra mile to make a living due to the economic state of things.
You don't need to seek the validation of total strangers on a public forum, if everybody carry thier problem come here for round table, you go thank God for your own.
Why are you feeling down ?
Life is short so ginger yourself....Time + Chance
Happens to us all. Rich + Poor..las las everybody go kpai.
50 : 50 life na dice.
Best you go to a tech school and learn hot skills (web Dev, Ecommerce, Mini Importation, digital marketing, UI / UX design, copywriting, funnel hacking and graphics design).
Work remotely and earn in foreign exchange, stay blessed.
46 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by aremuforlife(m): 5:48pm On May 05|
You have not failed, except if you quit. There are lots of thing to achieve at 33, you are already a graduate, get your self busy, no matter how little it fetch you, get a serious relationship, to avoid depression. Make yourself happy.
You are not a failure.
57 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by GeneralPula: 5:48pm On May 05|
Just keep on pullin..
Never say never..
And always remember this DMX phrase * God is always present *
17 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Frontail: 5:48pm On May 05|
..... F9 +.
3 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by BruncleZuma: 5:48pm On May 05|
OP, the problem lies in you using your classmates and others as benchmarks; everyone have/has their own pace and opportunities comes to each and everyone at different times. Just keep grinding, eyes on the ground and you'll also "make" it.
57 Likes 7 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by free2ryhme: 5:48pm On May 05|
This matter weak me
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Romanoff(f): 5:49pm On May 05|
Nope. You're not a failure.
Your ambition and all you did to get through the university proves you have a fighting spirit.
Many of your secondary school mates your comparing yourself with have different destinies and who is to say you won't even overtake them tomorrow.
I'll suggest you learn a trade.
But you have to keep you age aside and be willing to learn.
If it's to be an apprentice at an electronics shop, provision shop, printing house, Betting shop etc.
From there, Oga can be giving you small stipends while you learn the ropes. I don't know if those Ogas still settle their apprentice but I assume they still do.
Another option is to look for a school you can teach in, no matter how small the pay, it is a starting point.
Some starts are very tough and rough but the end will make you forget all you went through.
Know that them no dey catch late comer for heaven for who last to marry, get job or born pikin. Like na per head.
You'll get there.
31 Likes 4 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by falcon01: 5:49pm On May 05|
You ain't a failure brah.. you tried your best! Non o that is your fault!
3 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by SenecaTheYonger(m): 5:49pm On May 05|
I'm so sorry about your experience man. You are doing just fine. I hope God will open big doors of opportunity for you in the future, Amen.
9 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by jimmyolasun: 5:49pm On May 05|
Your future lies in your hands..
Choose to change it positively or negatively
Never give up.. believe in yourself, never look down on yourself.. just like you said, you are multi talented. Engage people in your ideas and watch out how things will turn around..
I started my organization with nothing but just the idea I had. People invested in me, not people I have met from adam but people I made believe I can do it.. now to God be the glory..
First thing is you to try get a job, no matter how small the salary is. from there you meet and engage people.. if it can work for me, so can it for you. Don't forget to falsify your age and CV..
14 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by tunary(m): 5:50pm On May 05|
Your own is better than some people out there. You are even a graduate.
God is the only solution to all problems but u suppose get handwork/skill instead of waiting for employment. Yes sir yes sir job
1 Like 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by EXLOVER(m): 5:50pm On May 05|
If you're trying or doing something you're not a failure, you're a failure if only you're doing nothing about your situation.
We are in a digital world now, you can make money through your phone or laptop (Crypto, Freelancing, Affiliate marketing, Forex etc), just be smart in life, it's not too late to rewrite your story, forget wife or children now, build yourself.
They are billions of dollars flying on the air, money is around you but you're blind to see it, i wanted to go into fraud myself, but i gat conscience, my mates are making it legitimately, don't be deceived that the only way to make it in Naija is through fraud (lies).
Don't dress like your condition, dress smart, be social, meet people, be in the right circle, spray better cologne, build a good relationship and drink water always, exercise yourself, at 33 you shouldn't be having body pain like a 60years old when you bend, that is the only thing you should be worried about.
If you find my advice annoying I'm sorry, i have been smoking marijuana since afternoon, it's cold in here.
19 Likes 6 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Abass07(m): 5:50pm On May 05|
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Illuminatiship: 5:50pm On May 05|
WhiteRuler:you are a fool
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by ScamHunter: 5:50pm On May 05|
Some are dead. Be grateful to God for life. That is the greatest treasure you have ...
I have seen worse. You may see worse. Just look up and understand that there is a God above who does not see you the way man does. Ask Him for help and do your best. Help will surely come.
I once was so broke that I didn't know when Nigeria changed their money. I once was so broke that I searched for money on the ground, I once was so broke that I asked people for yard work. Today, those are history. No matter your situation, never lose sight of the fact that God cares about you. Never stop walking...Never stop trying.
20 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Trutherme: 5:50pm On May 05|
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Emelcee: 5:50pm On May 05|
Even Desmond Elliot can't stop you, bro
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by Preciousgirl(f): 5:50pm On May 05|
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by truthsayer009(m): 5:51pm On May 05|
Hmm you are not a failure.
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by NoFucksToGive: 5:51pm On May 05|
Without reading I label you a failure !!! For the fact you need the validation of total strangers says it all
You are weak and mentally immature totally unfit for any leadership position
|Re: Am I A Failure? Please Rate Me. by EricSmallz(m): 5:51pm On May 05|
You Dead Wrong.
Bring Your CAC jobs here Sirs
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