₦airaland Forum

GhostWisperer:
*16% of women in their early 30s hit ovarian failure; menopause!

* At 35 women fertility drops radically

* The more men women sleep with, the more damaged and emotionally useless they are.

It is far better for a girl to marry at 22 than to be dicksploiting like you suggested.

Look at your life:

# you're already at your menopause
# no life other than digital addiction, fighting with men

# no marriage

# no partner

# no life.

Now you're spreading the same ideology that relegated you to become a feminine disaster.

At the end of the day, you wished you married and didn't fool around. Now you're seeking relief by leading other women into the same path that has plagued your life.

Amazontopaz, change.

Na wa o!

This one is marriage oh, when it happened to me in relationship I been wan mad, women no get sense by default sha

Bros

Let her choose between her bestie or you
It's seem u are the gentle guy
If you don't react now, reaction will react on you

Omotola and who else ? Give us names.
Besides, that was then - when your Nigeria was in good health and shape.

owowa145:
Nigga, Omotola got married at 17yrs and that didn't stop her education and career path in her hubby's house... Get sense pls.

before you marry the girl you no see am, guy is too early for complains

Where else should 22 years old be in your own Nigeria?

Secondary school? Marriage home ?

loswhite:
22 years in college? Are you base in Nigeria?

farous:
My friend call your wife and tell her pointblank that you are not comfortable with it and that she should cut off with the guy as simple as that. If you leave this to grow,I bet you,you will regret it. Forget about jovial bla bla,there is every possiblity that the guy use to bed her.

Let me tell you,some woman are smart. Do you know your wife can be calling him or talking about him in your present just to keep your mind off from suspicion but behind your back, they are doing something you can't believe. It's a game because she know when she starts hiding it, you will suspect her the more. This same game also applies to men. Act now before it's too late. It's better you speak out and she still continue and hiding it from you for one day you must catch her and sent her packing than for you to keep quiet and they will be taking you as mumu when another man is secretly connected and browsing your network

The old school cheating is cheating and hiding , these days people don't hide who they are cheating with. They will do it openly and pretend they are bestie or best of friends.

I talk am o, don't let them male friends. Had a very bad experience.

WoundedLamb:
I love the idea of leaving them and allowing them keep it public. If they didn't do anything all this while before she got married, it's not likely the will now. Trying to force them apart might lead to the friendship becoming a secret affair. Besides, I don't think it's fair to cut your spouse off her longtime friend with whom she's had a lot of experiences. Friends bring out the sparks in us. If she loses such friends, she might go dull and even the OP wouldn't like that. If she's not giving OP enough attention or not doing whatever OP believes she's a supposed to do as a wife, his concerns would be more appreciated.

Regarding your last statement, do you really think she'll outgrow a longtime friend who still lives in the same city as herself? I think things will change when the guys also get a lady of his own. That way, the OP and that lady will join forces wreck the friendship

Your last paragraph.

When the guy has his wife and face his family.

Jealousy no go allow her stay.

PLEASE AND PLEASE WIVES MAKE YOUR HUSBANDS YOUR BEST FRIEND

That's what happens when one marries all these small girls. Your wife is 22 and your marriage is 2 months old; still in your honeymoon phase of marriage when you guys should be doting all over yourselves.

Clearly, your wife is still immature and it seems she doesn't know what she is settling down for.

I have two advice for you.

1. You both need to go see a certified counselor. I guess you guys didn't go through pre-marital counseling. Such counseling may help you guys, especially your wife who is still immature.

2. Reach out to the male bestie and get close to him. Don't fight or threaten him. Such action will only make your wife become more stubborn.
Jokingly tell him that he is the one receiving all the attention that your wife should give you. He will understands...

Bit above all, be observant so that things ain't done behind you o..

Let's hope that your wife will come back to her senses soon...

Kim Kardashian?

Casalindal:
Reading through comments I can’t help it but laugh at some people poor stage of mind.... hello Op you don’t have to worry about your wife and her bestie, most girls keep gays guys mostly as bestie and trust they feel more safe having them around. I have a male bestie and he is one of the best thing that have ever happen to me. Your wife bestie probably have shared deepest things and darkest moments together, don’t take that away from her please it will hurt her badly.

I am married and my best friend is a guy and I love him so much you don’t want to even imagine. The difference with me is I have learnt to balance both. I feel you should help your wife learn how to balance both relationships and trust me gay bestie are the best ever.....

Don’t allow people here who are so backward and who live in carve pollute your mind.. Kim has a male bestie and you never see him come in between her marriage?? Please enjoy your marriage and take away this worries there are not needed at all.

AmazonTopaz:
Did the man in anyway say her bestie is evil?He even said the bestie is trying to distance himself from her so that there would be boundaries.So yes the girl knew the bestie before the OP came into the picture so he should respect their friendship and not try to tell her or force her into doing what she isn't ready to do.

What forced him into marrying a 22 year old in the first place?
The OP didn't leave any female friends he is just mature to draw boundaries which his wife isn't yet mature to do based on her personality too.

And yes I reason perfectly

First of all I want to state clearly that there is nothing wrong with marrying a lady in her 20s as long as she willingly gave her consent. Again marriage is not for the indecisive people who do not know when to start and when to stop. We are actually talking about a husband not a boyfriend or fiance. So whether she knew the bestie right from her hospital birth, or when made her first baby cry, it is inconsequential now she is married.

MrSly:
First of all I want to state clearly that there is nothing wrong with marrying a lady in her 20s as long as she willingly gave her consent. Again marriage is not for the indecisive people who do not know when to start and when to stop. We are actually talking about a husband not a boyfriend or fiance. So whether she knew the bestie right from her hospital birth, or when made her first baby cry, it is inconsequential now she is married.

I never said it was wrong to marry in your 20's mine is 24 or 25 years and above anything below that is a no no.

Because someone is married doesn't mean they cannot have Male friends or have alone time and be free.Marriage should not cage anybody my only advice is for the lady to draw boundaries but not discard her bestie because she is married.Good friends matter a lot to me and I will not or never advice anybody to drop their friends because they are married a boundary will be drawn but we won't end it or make the friendship inconsequential

AmazonTopaz:
I never said it was wrong to marry in your 20's mine is 24 or 25 years and above anything below that is a no no.

Because someone is married doesn't mean they cannot have Male friends or have alone time and be free.Marriage should not cage anybody my only advice is for the lady to draw boundaries but not discard her bestie because she is married.Good friends matter a lot to me and I will not or never advice anybody to drop their friends because they are married a boundary will be drawn but we won't end it or make the friendship inconsequential

Kk,

armyofone:
Omotola and who else ? Give us names.
Besides, that was then - when your Nigeria was in good health and shape.

And d guy told u, he ain't in good health & shape since d country affects u; it must affects everyone as well

Jeferious:
If you see as I just dey look you as you dey talk your "choose between husband or bestie" demand. Common husband Is he the only husband in the world? Abi he's the first husband ever? What is special about his own "husbandry"?

On a serious note, some people don't understand the gravity of their actions till you mirror them, or even get better than them in the act. If I'm in op's shoes, maka Chukwu, I no go complain even one thing. I'll even be acting as if I'm enjoying their conversations. But trust an educated Aba boy. I will definitely have my own bestie, who I will be inviting occasionally to the house. By then I've stop eating the silly girl's food, so that she will not poison me. Sex sessions...until further notice. Even if she initiates, I won't do it still. If she starts her own, no problem. I will go a notch higher. What I shaa know is that my madness must be higher than hers, whatever the case may be. . The worst that can happen is that the home will scatter, and I'm already comfortable with the idea. I no kukuma fancy marriage like that.

The point is this: TERRORISE THE TERRORIST without lifting a finger on her or saying a word. You will see the same "22 year old" girl everyone is regarding here as immature for marriage develop "Aristotelian" wisdom by herself. If person dey craze, I suppose craze pass am. No time for akukxo uwa

Bro i disagree with ur decision, ur idea is wrong, if u take such step, den u re nt acting mature.... bro, it ur house, she's ur wife.....if ur wife cheat on u or she's cheating on u, dat dos nt min u shld do d same.....act mature n fix ur home.... cheating on her also won't solve anything, rather ur home wil ctnue to scatter.

Bro act like a man, sit ur wife down n put sense in her head.......let her know ur real mind

Nacoss25:
Good morning everyone. I am a young man newly married to a 22 yr old lady. our marriage is just 2 months old.

Before I met my wife in 2019, she has this male best friend who they have been best friends even before I met her though my wife is a social and jovial person always cheerful, she easily makes friends wherever she finds herself that's her nature and kind of personality.

Right now her friendship with that her male friend is what am becoming uncomfortable with right now because of the so much attention she is lavishing on him. I have complained to her that I am not comfortable with her closeness with the guy but she is seeing it that am trying to cut her off from her friends.

One interesting part of the whole thing is, since we got married the guy has been trying to distance himself from her a bit knowing too well that she is now married but my wife is even the one doing all she could to keep the friendship going the way it has been going. 2 days ago I and my wife were together she called the guy complaining bitterly how he has been distancing himself from her.

My people what do you think I should do to cut down that connection or will the friendship grow week by the day on it's own? My wife is refusing to understand that in marriage there are things u will have to let go.

this happens most often with immature girls and it results in cheating with her coming back to cry and say she was naive. It's hardwork for you because you have to train her the way children are trained to become responsible adults, if not, you will not like the outcome of her friendship with the guy

sogud:
Bro i disagree with ur decision, ur idea is wrong, if u take such step, den u re nt acting mature.... bro, it ur house, she's ur wife.....if ur wife cheat on u or she's cheating on u, dat dos nt min u shld do d same.....act mature n fix ur home.... cheating on her also won't solve anything, rather ur home wil ctnue to scatter.

Bro act like a man, sit ur wife down n put sense in her head.......let her know ur real mind

Oga, na your opinion be that. For you, a lady's mind is similar to a child's. For me, a lady of 18 years and above is already aware of what's good and bad. She is capable of making responsible actions. It is this mentality that informs my potential response. I hate when people justify bad behaviour with silly excuses, as that is the perfect way to embolden a "terrorist".

Jeferious:
Oga, na your opinion be that. For you, a lady's mind is similar to a child's. For me, a lady of 18 years and above is already aware of what's good and bad. She is capable of making responsible actions. It is this mentality that informs my potential response. I hate when people justify bad behaviour with silly excuses, as that is the perfect way to embolden a "terrorist".

Oga......wat am telling u is dat, cheating on ur wife because she's cheating on u won't solve anything, two wrong cannot make a right, u re d man, paying her bck by cheating on her also is immature n irresponsible...stand on ur ground,.give her conditions, if she cnt abide by ur rules n regulations is better u send her packing to her family or meet d pesin she's cheating on wit, dan for u to cheat also, claiming u re paying her bck............word of advice

sogud:
Oga......wat am telling u is dat, cheating on ur wife because she's cheating on u won't solve anything, two wrong cannot make a right, u re d man, paying her bck by cheating on her also is immature n irresponsible...stand on ur ground,.give her conditions, if she cnt abide by ur rules n regulations is better u send her packing to her family or meet d pesin she's cheating on wit, dan for u to cheat also, claiming u re paying her bck............word of advice

ok

AmazonTopaz:
You married a 22 year old that may not be mature for marriage and is supposed to be free living her best life.

You said she is a jovial person so that is how she is and besides she knew that guy as a friend before meeting you so you gotta accommodate that.The only problem is that she isn't mature enough to know that there should be boundaries and she shouldn't over do it.It is a good thing that she is open to you about it.

She is still young and don't cage her because of marriage or that she should let go of someone she has known for years because she married you.

Just tell her to minimise it and draw boundaries.

Lol.

Two months after marriage he locked her out of their house, to show her what a macho man husband he is.

Ladies are suffering so much in a bid to please men. A small girl of 22 made into a ridiculous case online, to please a hard-faced misogynist husband who seeks to control every aspect of her life.

How she married him, and why he went for her, those are two interesting things about this OP.

BRATISLAVA:
Lol.

Two months after marriage he locked her out of their house, to show her what a macho man husband he is.

Ladies are suffering so much in a bid to please men. A small girl of 22 made into a ridiculous case online, to please a hard-faced misogynist husband who seeks to control every aspect of her life.

How she married him, and why he went for her, those are two interesting things about this OP.

https://www.nairaland.com/7028893/marriage-10-months-gradually-craching/1#111047052

Latest thread I could not reply your mention then because I was banned then.

AmazonTopaz:
https://www.nairaland.com/7028893/marriage-10-months-gradually-craching/1#111047052

Latest thread I could not reply your mention then because I was banned then.

The ending isn't surprising. He's getting served.

They'll never learn.

Everyday chapters on the girl. Whew!

Lalami3232:
Lol . Oga make I advise you as a fellow man. In this life eeh, na only two things na dey involve in most cases and this same "2 things" law still apply for this ur matter, make I give you the possibilities:

1. Maybe the guy and ur wife na just normal friends wey don share alot in common, though without sex sha. The friendship don too tight sotey ur wife dey find am difficult to leave the guy.
2. The guy na ur wife one time bedmate wey still dey bust ur wife head with he sex and friendship.
So wetin u go na to talk to ur wife maturedly without any shouting or false accusation because u no get proof say dem dey do anything evil. Tell her say u no dey comfortable with the friendship cus preeq and toto matter be like bread and butter for this generation, very easy to eat.
If she still no stop, then u go leave her alone cus if u use force, she go dey dodge dey go meet the guy for back. But my number 1 advise to u be say, OGA DO DNA FOR UR CHILDREN OOOO, E GET WHY.

I don talk am before and I go talk am again "The day my wife go born girl pikin, I go cry like who dem say na Lai Mohammed be he papa".

Safe keep your cry...the day is coming.

U will know that God isn't man.
Stop the hate for the girl child as most male child are not guarantee for anything these days. The earlier u change your opinion,the better for u.