Romanoff:


Many marriages these days is lacking in love and that's why money causes issues.

People marry these days and don't disclose how much they earn.

Still, it is still a manageable situation. All it takes is understanding.

.. What understanding can be without love

Love is the bedrock of everything

I'm seeing a young man here ranting the wife this and that, father in law this and that, but he buried his own which is his lack of love and hatred for the wife and the family


I saw my dad and my mum in good times and not so good times. No no no. The op is deranged and should be sentenced to a year's counselling. Same as the wife hoarding resources

Oga commander mo kin yin sir.

I have read the OP and it is like drama.

I am still wondering what initially trigged the husband:

Is it the proverb 'money will come & go however people would remain'? Aka people are more important than money?

Isn't it a very common Yoruba belief with its sister phrase 'eyan laso' people are your covering?

Did I miss something?

QorQe:
You have entitlement mentality. The daughter desist being his blood because you married her. You are a child.

The father told her to go your father. That is bad counsel abi. That's why you feel entitled. You're too proud, too strict to have sensible relations, cause if it's not your way, it's no other way


Your heart is sick and not healthy and because of the state of your heart, you can't form healthy stable relations.


1. The title of your thread suggests your psyche about your own wife... " An ungrateful wife " meanwhile, people buy their wife's extremely expensive things you're acting God because you saw her through some tough times. Yes, you deserve her loyalty for that, but here you're placing demands for God-like worship which makes you unhealthy.






2. The father always supports his daughter. Should the father leave his daughter to support you? Even at that, you haven't heard from the father, yet you have judged. The notion the father always supports the daughter without lending ear for objective rationale of the dad makes you an extremely judgmental person who hates people. You hate your wife and her family and it has formed your perspective in anything with them



3. Your energy says it all. Any sound human who patiently absorbs the content of your post would feel the overwhelming energy that is in your heart and surrounds your decisions..


. You need counselling.


She needs counselling




You both don't love yourselves enough to be a family. And it's clear to see.

One sensible post

Having gone through your post, I can say you are quick to getting angry. You invested in your wife's business which is a great gesture. Thank you for that. Bros, be calming down uhnnn.... You have no idea of what made her accepted theb girl. Yes she has to realise your investment but truly life doesn't start and end with money. Omoluabi se pataki. You telling your wife that you preferred not to set your eyes on her because of that says a whole lot about you. Your father in law isn't someone you should be rude to no matter what and lemme conclude by saying a sin which most women don't forgive is going physical. Don't ever be tempted to do that if you haven't. Learn self control.

Romanoff:


The best person to counsel her is an older woman who isn't her parent.

Nigerian women have dealt with Nigerian men the way they are, as unrefined and undeveloped in some areas.

There will be more trouble if his wife's busines fails due to poor financial management and since he invested in the business, e no go funny. Her being too emotional might contribute to her business failing and to me o, unless on grounds of infidelity or domestic abuse, you should not leave your matrimonial home.

The wife obviously misunderstood the husband when he said he didn't want to use his eyes to see her.

Don't conclude she left because of the statement you tagged just. We know their type. She would probably been beaten if she stayed back.

Sanity54321:
@Bola146; NGOs are meant to cater for empowerment programs not private businesses. Furthermore, if you read closely.. there is no place where i ever said i go there regularly. instead i said this is the first second time since the business started.

also, your comment - Nobody knows tommorow, one of those she trained could give her a good link tommorow! Everything is not money!!!!seem to me as though you have seen too much of nollywood movies.

There are times a business sells on credit to customers. Your wife needed help in the shop and got someone to come train under her, even though the modalities of their payment wasn't defined.
It's not enough to start telling her the landlord's payment wasn't free etc.
She knows the shop was rented and not free from the landlord. It's her shop afterall or were there conditions before you gifted her the business? All your reminders about how much you spent was unnecessary.
It's not as if she has been getting trainees regularly without them paying. There's no history of such and this is a one off, so you can't say there is a pattern.
So why your vexation?
If her business thrives really well and at some point you need help from your wife and she obliged you, would you be happy if she spoke to you same way you did to her, reminding you of the obvious that the money she gave you wasn't easy to come by?
If she did same to you, I'm sure your ego would be bruised and you will feel disrespected. Accord your wife same respect you would expect from her.
You will find yourself at peace with everyone, if you would act towards them the same way you would like them to act towards you.

I had to log in because of the OP.

OP, if you don’t see the wrongs in the post you created, sorry to say, you are sick. No offense.

I pity your wife.


How can a family man tell his wife he’ll appreciate if their eyes don’t meet while under the same roof because of trivial issue. If I were your wife, I’ll leave and never come back until your two knees comes begging.

You are calling someone ungrateful while you are the ungrateful one.

Sometimes, I get amused by things that cause fights between couples. This matter is very simple, since you feel like you arent getting ROI from your investment, you should ensure to withdraw any subsequent investment. No more paying her rent, no more buying machine...just tell her Nigeria hard anytime she request for money for her business. Issue resolve. She will learn to bill correctly for her service.

Why will you be fighting biko? Matter wey never reach. If the thing pain you too much sef, you can go there one day with a friend who pretends he's inpounding two of her top machines because you borrowed from him to pay...therefore, you need to reach a repayment plan with him. Whew! It is well jare.

eyinjuege:


There are times a business sells on credit to customers. Your wife needed help in the shop and got someone to come train under her, even though the modalities of their payment wasn't defined.
It's not enough to start telling her the landlord's payment wasn't free etc.
She knows the shop was rented and not free from the landlord. It's her shop afterall or were there conditions before you gifted her the business? All your reminders about how much you spent was unnecessary.
It's not as if she has been getting trainees regularly without them paying. There's no history of such and this is a one off, so you can't say there is a pattern.
So why your vexation?
If her business thrives really well and at some point you need help from your wife and she obliged you, would you be happy if she spoke to you same way you did to her, reminding you of the obvious that the money she gave you wasn't easy to come by?
If she did same to you, I'm sure your ego would be bruised and you will feel disrespected. Accord your wife same respect you would expect from her.
You will find yourself at peace with everyone, if you would act towards them the same way you would like them to act towards you.

Haba, it's a business not a charity case fa. According to the story, this was her first apprentist and shes doing probono. No nau. The rent wasnt free, neither was the rest of the setup cost. She should at least get a chunk payment to repay one of her equipment back. That's how most tailors make money.


If her goal was to have a helping hand, she could have just told the guy that the opportunity cost of her apprenticeship is a maid/service girl. Equation balanced! A business is an entity fa, not a human. One of the reasons most startup dont make it beyond the first 5years is pure mismanagement.

As par the content of their fight, that one dey irritating. All the disrespect because they couldn't have a simple intelligent conversation. For the context though, the guy is within rights to demand accountability from the madam since he is the sole investor and she the executive director

Sanity54321:
Hi All,

i have been in marriage for some years now with one child. My wife learnt fashion designing and excelled well at it except that one of her major professional drawbacks is the ability to be accountable and drawing the appropriate lines between business and emotions. Further to that is a major influence of her parents in her life.

I have invested so much in her and her business as a whole. i built the business and still didnt stop investing when need be. so it happened that when i got her a new location for the business as requested, i bought advanced sewing machines and all that she put to my ears that she needs to excel. Then i sat her down asking what the modalties are for her to take in apprentice. so she told me student will have to take up a form for 5k, apprenticeship for 60k and so on. These are things i know but i needed be sure that she is well informed.

Apparently, there have been a back and forth between her and the parents of one lady who was brought to her for apprenticeship. So, there came a day my dad came to my house and there was a need for him to see my wife before leaving which caused me to show up at her shop unexpectedly. This will be second time i have been to d shop since she opened the shop like 6 months ago. i saw legs wandering here and there in the shop and found out she had an apprentice. I then said to her, you even got an aprentice and didnt say a word to me. she replied that the apprentice had only just joined her a day ago. i said to her... didnt you come yesterday? told me sorry.

Then i proceeded to to ask her if she did got the rightful things from the apprentice, only for her to respond to me that the parents came and was begging her all through that the nation is hard. i had to say to her, as nigeria hard.. e no reach you or cos i have been putting money here, you think i dont have my own issues too. Las las, she responded to me by saying "Owo maa tan,eiyan loo maa kuu" meaning money go finish, na human being go remain. this got me mind as i didnt expect this from someone i invested so much in. I felt i was busy wasting my time and resource on someone who doesnt understand the value of my efforts. I jus said to her, did your landlord gave me this shop for free? were these machines gotten for free? did your boss not take money from me even for your freedom? i jus left her there before i misbehaved.

She got home later that night and was offering me noodles for dinner which i declined. later she saw me with bread and was trying to talk to me abt food. I told her that i will appreciate if i our eyes don't cross anymore that night. Next thing she did was take some clothes and that of my child. then left my house, called her father that she was coming home. the father as usual supported her and told her to go to my father's house instead. Then her proceeded to call me instead yelling at me asking me wah happend..i said nothing hapnd and e responded saying, anything better not happen. before i know it he has called my father and friends to warn me. Apparently, the dota told d father that i told her that i shldnt let me meet her at home. i called d father and voiced him to pls stay away from my family. its enof that yu jump in defence of yur dota always buit dont include my parents there anymore. the daughter went to sleep at her friend's house which i dont even know who d friend is according to d fada. I had the intention of mking sure she doesnt return here but pleadings here and there. she came home and still acted like niothing happend, no greetings or pleadings whatsoeveer.

I will leave this story at this stage as i had only come here to vent a bit before i mke rash decisions.

Thank you all as i await reasonable comments

my comments are the solutions to your problem.
do you setup the store for your wife so she can settle you after she make profit cos I don't understand your actions because of this trivial issue.
If not ,all you have to do is just leave her to manage the store without investing anything further and watch how she will manage it cos you've done the expected.
Tell her that Whatever way she manages her business shouldn't be your concern and if anything goes wrong.
You cannot be right always; remember that you can only try your best but can't force some certain situation....

Oga op be calming down.

sisisioge:



Haba, it's a business not a charity case fa. According to the story, this was her first apprentist and shes doing probono. No nau. The rent wasnt free, neither was the rest of the setup cost. She should at least get a chunk payment to repay one of her equipment back. That's how most tailors make money.


If her goal was to have a helping hand, she could have just told the guy that the opportunity cost of her apprenticeship is a maid/service girl. Equation balanced! A business is an entity fa, not a human. One of the reasons most startup dont make it beyond the first 5years is pure mismanagement.

As par the content of their fight, that one dey irritating. All the disrespect because they couldn't have a simple intelligent conversation. For the context though, the guy is within rights to demand accountability from the madam since he is the sole investor and she the executive director

Nobody called it a charity, but remember it's a new business and she is just proving her skills to anyone.
What an older business can afford to do, she won't be able to since she's just starting.
It's 6 months on, and only just getting her 1st apprentice who can't even afford to pay to learn.
That says a lot, and she will just be alone managing that shop for a long time.
Her main source of income should be from customers who bring clothes and really not from apprenticeship for now.
Now that she finally has an apprentice, it will likely attract others that want to learn especially if she is able to teach the girl well.
People would rather send their wards to established fashion designers with several apprentices than one just starting.
It may just be one of the sacrifices a new business makes.
The madam will have someone to help around the shop, who can open her shop early to attend to customers and collect their fabric down, take messages for her madam etc.

Oyiboman69:
my comments are the solutions to your problem.
do you setup the store for your wife so she can settle you after she make profit cos I don't understand your actions because of this trivial issue.
If not ,all you have to do is just leave her to manage the store without investing anything further and watch how she will manage it cos you've done the expected.
Tell her that Whatever way she manages her business shouldn't be your concern and if anything goes wrong.
You cannot be right always; remember that you can only try your best but can't force some certain situation....

. Business and pleasure shouldn't mix right?

eyinjuege:


Nobody called it a charity, but remember it's a new business and she is just proving her skills to anyone.
What an older business can afford to do, she won't be able to since she's just starting.
It's 6 months on, and only just getting her 1st apprentice who can't even afford to pay to learn.
That says a lot, and she will just be alone managing that shop for a long time.
Her main source of income should be from customers who bring clothes and really not from apprenticeship for now.
Now that she finally has an apprentice, it will likely attract others that want to learn especially if she is able to teach the girl well.
People would rather send their wards to established fashion designers with several apprentices than one just starting.
It may just be one of the sacrifices a new business makes.
The madam will have someone to help around the shop, who can open her shop early to attend to customers and collect their fabric down, take messages for her madam etc.

Bingo. This is exactly what I believe she was doing and intent on doing.

You know women know how to be compassionate even in business. But men strict.

To get apprentices and keep her afloat she needs to have one or two even if free, those will pull their friends and from more recommendations more hands would come in. Also, she will see the apprentice as someone to speak with and send on errands which are probono to her as well


But their relationship isn't about this. They don't have a fluid interactive relationship. They can't talk with each other to convey their intents, motives, plans and thoughts peaceably. The schism between them and disquiet reflects that there are many issues between and within hence why I didn't even bother paying attention to the business but to the personalities involved


The lady needs to be more submissive in deeds and actions though

Sanity54321:
Hi All,

i have been in marriage for some years now with one child. My wife learnt fashion designing and excelled well at it except that one of her major professional drawbacks is the ability to be accountable and drawing the appropriate lines between business and emotions. Further to that is a major influence of her parents in her life.

I have invested so much in her and her business as a whole. i built the business and still didnt stop investing when need be. so it happened that when i got her a new location for the business as requested, i bought advanced sewing machines and all that she put to my ears that she needs to excel. Then i sat her down asking what the modalties are for her to take in apprentice. so she told me student will have to take up a form for 5k, apprenticeship for 60k and so on. These are things i know but i needed be sure that she is well informed.

Apparently, there have been a back and forth between her and the parents of one lady who was brought to her for apprenticeship. So, there came a day my dad came to my house and there was a need for him to see my wife before leaving which caused me to show up at her shop unexpectedly. This will be second time i have been to d shop since she opened the shop like 6 months ago. i saw legs wandering here and there in the shop and found out she had an apprentice. I then said to her, you even got an aprentice and didnt say a word to me. she replied that the apprentice had only just joined her a day ago. i said to her... didnt you come yesterday? told me sorry.

Then i proceeded to to ask her if she did got the rightful things from the apprentice, only for her to respond to me that the parents came and was begging her all through that the nation is hard. i had to say to her, as nigeria hard.. e no reach you or cos i have been putting money here, you think i dont have my own issues too. Las las, she responded to me by saying "Owo maa tan,eiyan loo maa kuu" meaning money go finish, na human being go remain. this got me mind as i didnt expect this from someone i invested so much in. I felt i was busy wasting my time and resource on someone who doesnt understand the value of my efforts. I jus said to her, did your landlord gave me this shop for free? were these machines gotten for free? did your boss not take money from me even for your freedom? i jus left her there before i misbehaved.

She got home later that night and was offering me noodles for dinner which i declined. later she saw me with bread and was trying to talk to me abt food. I told her that i will appreciate if i our eyes don't cross anymore that night. Next thing she did was take some clothes and that of my child. then left my house, called her father that she was coming home. the father as usual supported her and told her to go to my father's house instead. Then her proceeded to call me instead yelling at me asking me wah happend..i said nothing hapnd and e responded saying, anything better not happen. before i know it he has called my father and friends to warn me. Apparently, the dota told d father that i told her that i shldnt let me meet her at home. i called d father and voiced him to pls stay away from my family. its enof that yu jump in defence of yur dota always buit dont include my parents there anymore. the daughter went to sleep at her friend's house which i dont even know who d friend is according to d fada. I had the intention of mking sure she doesnt return here but pleadings here and there. she came home and still acted like niothing happend, no greetings or pleadings whatsoeveer.

I will leave this story at this stage as i had only come here to vent a bit before i mke rash decisions.

Thank you all as i await reasonable comments

Suruu la n fi soko obinrin(Being a husband requires adequate patience)She's your responsibility. For God's sake, she's your wife, take things easy, why decline food for such trivial matter that could have been resolved amicably.

You started highlighting all you have done for her...
And still continued @home. The only reason I sense you're angry is because you expected an apology which you could have gotten if you sat her down to correct & enlighten her in love. Kindly settle things with your wife. it's not even worth been posted & yet you tagged her ungrateful.

urhoboman:
I had to log in because of the OP.

OP, if you don’t see the wrongs in the post you created, sorry to say, you are sick. No offense.

I pity your wife.


How can a family man tell his wife he’ll appreciate if their eyes don’t meet while under the same roof because of trivial issue. If I were your wife, I’ll leave and never come back until your two knees comes begging.

You are calling someone ungrateful while you are the ungrateful one.

Oshare pls ignore him from his post shows he's a violent and commanding human being.he has a very bad character.

sisisioge:



Haba, it's a business not a charity case fa. According to the story, this was her first apprentist and shes doing probono. No nau. The rent wasnt free, neither was the rest of the setup cost. She should at least get a chunk payment to repay one of her equipment back. That's how most tailors make money.


If her goal was to have a helping hand, she could have just told the guy that the opportunity cost of her apprenticeship is a maid/service girl. Equation balanced! A business is an entity fa, not a human. One of the reasons most startup dont make it beyond the first 5years is pure mismanagement.

As par the content of their fight, that one dey irritating. All the disrespect because they couldn't have a simple intelligent conversation. For the context though, the guy is within rights to demand accountability from the madam since he is the sole investor and she the executive director

Wonders shall never end. For almost the first time, you have made a sensible contribution - a contribution devoid of unsoundness and sentiment/self-interest. Kudos.

@OP, apart from threatening your wife, even though her action brought about it, every other of your action is justifiable. She was neither scrupulous nor shrewd in her actions and decisions.

This nigga get serious temper asf

Oga, your wife is now independent of you, she doesn't need you anymore, hence the dialed up disrespect .

Expect her to serve you more trash as time goes on and she begins to make serious bank from her fashion business.

You were always means to an end. Sorry

PS: Any woman who can just take clothes and leave with a child you both have will eventually have an affair if it's not already happening. You need to be very careful and watchful going forward. Good luck

Oga, be calming down! You could admonish her in a subtle way. Everything no be gra gra! She's your wife and not your daughter... both of you are one! Educate her on business principles. No go use your hand scatter wetin you Don build. Her response to you must have been as a result of the way you spoke to her. Abeg settle with your wife inugo!
Do not listen to those people that will start putting ideas into your head. Most of them can't even practice what they preach. If you listen to them and your home is broken, they will go back home to cuddle their wives and girl friends.

To deal with women one needs strong wisdom n excess tolerance...
To be honest I understand your rage completely and you have every right for rage but must be handled with wisdom

I don't go with many comments here because it's so unfair for the wife not to have hint the man about an apprentice...it is not about monitoring her business because the man invested in her it is called regard

Women should learn to give regards and this mentality of what has he done shld be completely eradicated... If this woman regard her husband or there has been a healthy communication btw them she shld have hinted the husband

Even if she intend appearing as a professional and can take decision by herself that should solely be in the presence of clients... Honestly with the man input or not the man has every right to be informed about the apprentice before she resumes..

You should not have let your wife's shortcomings make you act worse... You actually told her to leave the house by saying your eyes shldnt meet and I won't blame the wife for leaving because I dnt know you but your wife does and may have acted from experience (domestic violence) am just assuming..

My take be more friendly with your woman...communicate with her... Make your wife your friend she will flow with you and tell you things even the ones that is not necessary...doing this will make her cut ties with her dad without being told to do so cos the security she's not seeing in you the dad is providing..

Man up bro and be the priest in your home marriage is not for boys... call madam and register your displeasure and both of you shld settle amicably and pls say you are sorry where necessary..

I pray that God will restore peace to your home!!!

NB : I am a redpiller but never in marriage... I no know reach God wey say make we dey multiply

But why is everyone trying to show like the op is the one who made 100% of the mistake?

Is it true that women are always right?

I am happy about what you told her father never to interfere in your family affairs. Even if they call family meeting, let the father know you have done so much for his daughter that some fathers can never do for their daughters.
Let him know he is the one that want to destroy your marriage and pull down your family. After all this, tell him you are sorry if you had utter any statement that might hurt him.
Henceforth, he will mind his business.
Her father want to be alpha and omega of your family, never accept that. Otherwise, you are doomed.

Sanity54321:
Hi All,

i have been in marriage for some years now with one child. My wife learnt fashion designing and excelled well at it except that one of her major professional drawbacks is the ability to be accountable and drawing the appropriate lines between business and emotions. Further to that is a major influence of her parents in her life.

I have invested so much in her and her business as a whole. i built the business and still didnt stop investing when need be. so it happened that when i got her a new location for the business as requested, i bought advanced sewing machines and all that she put to my ears that she needs to excel. Then i sat her down asking what the modalties are for her to take in apprentice. so she told me student will have to take up a form for 5k, apprenticeship for 60k and so on. These are things i know but i needed be sure that she is well informed.

Apparently, there have been a back and forth between her and the parents of one lady who was brought to her for apprenticeship. So, there came a day my dad came to my house and there was a need for him to see my wife before leaving which caused me to show up at her shop unexpectedly. This will be second time i have been to d shop since she opened the shop like 6 months ago. i saw legs wandering here and there in the shop and found out she had an apprentice. I then said to her, you even got an aprentice and didnt say a word to me. she replied that the apprentice had only just joined her a day ago. i said to her... didnt you come yesterday? told me sorry.

Then i proceeded to to ask her if she did got the rightful things from the apprentice, only for her to respond to me that the parents came and was begging her all through that the nation is hard. i had to say to her, as nigeria hard.. e no reach you or cos i have been putting money here, you think i dont have my own issues too. Las las, she responded to me by saying "Owo maa tan,eiyan loo maa kuu" meaning money go finish, na human being go remain. this got me mind as i didnt expect this from someone i invested so much in. I felt i was busy wasting my time and resource on someone who doesnt understand the value of my efforts. I jus said to her, did your landlord gave me this shop for free? were these machines gotten for free? did your boss not take money from me even for your freedom? i jus left her there before i misbehaved.

She got home later that night and was offering me noodles for dinner which i declined. later she saw me with bread and was trying to talk to me abt food. I told her that i will appreciate if i our eyes don't cross anymore that night. Next thing she did was take some clothes and that of my child. then left my house, called her father that she was coming home. the father as usual supported her and told her to go to my father's house instead. Then her proceeded to call me instead yelling at me asking me wah happend..i said nothing hapnd and e responded saying, anything better not happen. before i know it he has called my father and friends to warn me. Apparently, the dota told d father that i told her that i shldnt let me meet her at home. i called d father and voiced him to pls stay away from my family. its enof that yu jump in defence of yur dota always buit dont include my parents there anymore. the daughter went to sleep at her friend's house which i dont even know who d friend is according to d fada. I had the intention of mking sure she doesnt return here but pleadings here and there. she came home and still acted like niothing happend, no greetings or pleadings whatsoeveer.

I will leave this story at this stage as i had only come here to vent a bit before i mke rash decisions.

Thank you all as i await reasonable comments

Stop monitoring how she go about the business. She wants to be independent, let her be but also let her know that you ll no longer support her business financially

lol..everybody blaming the man..incredible..people posting trash even though they will not tolerate same..one even called op ungrateful... so the one who set up a shop and invest in the business of his wife is now ungrateful.. lol
its a trivial issue though op.

Bola146:



Just pray for me God send helpers to me to train young females how to make hair for free, with the little from my business, I love helping people ( I'm always happy seeing them happy), that is why I'm still alive now, I don't have much but I love giving out token out of it. My future husband must be willing to help others no matter how small or big we have.


Kikikikikikikiki you are not telling us the full story or details jare what if she haven't seen any apprentice, you must develop hypertension ( Mr monitoring spirit ) or you went to collect LAPO money for the business ni, so you need the money asap


There is more to your story jare, I don't believe you. I know your type

Don't mind him ooo
Self-centered sumbodi

Oga let me ask you a question, are you saying that you and your wife are having this misunderstanding because she refused to collect money from an apprentice, if so, then the fracas is totally uncalled for, you guys are married o, not in a relationship, you have to compromise on some things, and again, you said she came home and prepared noodles for you, talking about food and all, it doesn't matter the kind of food, it could be some sort of peace offering, she knows you are upset and she is trying to make amends, you telling her to get out of your face was rash, uncalled for, you sound like a bitter person, who hardly let things slide, and you need to change that attitude, if you want your marriage to work, I'm not trying to say your wife is a saint, and i know how we women behave, but you have to ignore somethings to get along with your partner, i pray that God grant you a peaceful and loving home.

I Don remove my hands from anything wey concern marriage and love..

You both have issues. She's immature and not financially prudent while you have temper issues and you're a control freak. There are ways you can correct your partner or registering your displeasure without being so hostile to her. Can you imagine, shouting at her and embarrassing her at her place of work over an issue that can be resolved amicably at home. You literally sent her out of your house and you're complaining that her parents support her. It's you the hostile husband they should support ba? This is why I keep advising ladies and their families not to be too dependent on the men we have nowadays, they treat you like they own you and you need their permission to breathe!

Both of you need classes in financial intelligence (her) and anger management (you)

Since her family's image looms large in your home, she will continually display this sort of immature act. All she needs is a reason to flee, no matter how trivial or stupid. It is your loss that you have been unable to remove the needless interventionist foray of her father in your marriage. Man up and do it now.

However, the words she uttered to you is supposed not to have infuriated you if you aren't looking for a reason to flare up. To me, she should be appreciated for providing a shoulder for someone to lean on. That is laudable! I also believed she shouldn't have left her home because of your words, uttered in anger and without caution. There is a saying that is so apt in your situation and it goes thus: "when a person's temper gets the best of him, it reveals the worst of him."

By and large, I see two immature people trying to outdo one another.