₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Interestingly, when we are in trouble with a broken down car on the highway, police harassing us for no good reason in public or some sort of other issue, we wish people won't mind their business at such times and actually intervene to assist us - how is that different from what OP wants to do?

couldn't have said it better.

shortgun:
I don't desire her, never crossed my mind..I just feel I should show appreciation for her kind deeds to me.... thanks all d same.

Well, it could go either way...you might not desire her, but she might be attracted to you. E no dey hard to grow feelings o, so don't be surprised she has some type of special feelings for you.
Whatever you can't give her in the presence of her husband, don't bother giving her.
If she has a child(ren), you could show your appreciation by buying gifts for the child(ren)

You are thinking of a way to repay her favour, and consequently, sooner than later, she will be inclined to repay your repaid favour - perhaps with food or even romantic gestures. you get drift?

She doesn't sleep in the house alone with you. Likewise is she very fast when offering these niceties for you - courtesy of her husband and you still won't steer off her path.

The woman obviously has a soft spot for you and could get you into trouble moving forward, most importantly by considering the unsolicited proverbial warning from the husband.

..were I to be u, I'd still find a way to show appreciation
..if they have kids...u can get things for the kids.
..if u buy stuff whenever you travel.. make sure u bring deliver it when the husband is around, and if possible..give to others neighbors as well so it would seem like a general thing.
..asides that; thread carefully!!..

Nonsense, if you feel like helping someone don't you have relatives or orphanage homes to visit. Do unto other's what you wish them to do to you.

Klass99:
I am surprised at the majority of responses asking the OP to mind his business, as if a sincere thought or act of kindness is now a crime and taboo! Have you people never been touched (in your hearts) by the kindness of thoughtful people who sensed your needs and helped you without you asking? Na wao!

@ Shortgun, the part in bold is what jumped out at me the most and your neighbour's simple acts of good neighbourliness. I see nothing wrong with what you're thinking or would like to do. If I were in your shoes I would proceed because that's one of the ways we put belief into practice (as true believers) and build goodwill with others.

I'm also someone who likes to confront issues head own, so in your case I will meet with the husband directly and tell him hoha that bros I feel led in my spirit to gift you and wifey something, for being good/helpful neighbours. If you don't mind, pls send me your account details and leave it at that.

If he doesn't respond well to your kind gesture then you can leave it alone. On the other hand if they have children you can buy the kids things and claim the things were shared at your office but since you don't have kids you thought of them.

Only an unwise person will refuse a cash gift with no strings attached to it. I repeat, there's nothing wrong with your thought processes I dig people like you.

bear in mind that the neighbor is a paranoid and hostile man, who will immediately suspect activities btw the donor and his wife, at which point good could snowball into bad......he better cultivate a relationship with the man first and make his offer from there.

many times good people with good intentions have gotten into big troubles....... understand first that the paranoid guy has every right to be suspicious as the donor is promiscuous and he also knows his wife's records .....she admires the op's control of girls and wants to feel among......the husband decodes also considering the deceptive and corrupt place our society has become.
moreover OP has shown him self not to be God-fearing by exhibiting unbridled promiscuity there his act of kindness might not be confined to Godly precepts and thus any wise man with a wife or daughters will raise a brow.

please don't give wrong advice.

You are in Nigeria, so please mind your business and face your front before you get yourself into trouble.
Remove your eye from their family. if they ask for your help, support and assist them with what you have, but if nobody has asked you for anything, stay on your lane.

Dailyparrot:
It seems like you don't know women. She will still tell the husband and also state clearly that the OP requested that she keeps it away from him. This alone defines ill intention / ulterior motive.

My advice Mr. well-to-do guy is to mind your business. No matter how much the lady cares about you, it might just be her nature and has nothing to do with you in particular.

My landlord's wife is a very young woman and does almost similar thing to me. Because of the way the compound is, very close to the street that is as busy as a main road, she will be quick to jump out to stop vehicles crossing the street so I can drive out and when I want to drive in as well, once I get close and a car is obstructing me from driving in, she will be instructing them and all. Always inform me when my car has a dent that she suspects I don't know or basically trying to help.

But in all of these, I just tell her thank you and move on. Unlike in your case, I don't consider them poor and I wonder how you reached the conclusion that they are poor.

Please, just appreciate the woman verbally and mind your business.

He never said they are poor people but rather struggling in this present economic clime. If you live with struggling peeps and you actually pay attention you would know.

Klass99:
@ The bolded parts.........excuse you!!! The OP is now promiscuous, because he usually has many female visitors abi? Did he tell you he sleeps with all the women who visit him?

Your baseless assertion about him reeks of the sort of shallow mindedness that gives me a headache. It further reveals we are worlds apart in our thinking and reasoning. So, to engage you beyond this post will be a brain damaging activity.

Kindness is not an exclusive reserve of believers alone (can you even understand that? ) as in, any human being can demonstrate kindness to another and other living creatures, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Kindness is a phenomenon common to humanity, not to one religious sect alone.

Please deactivate your stupidity.

My O My.......see MADNESS.

shortgun:
I stay in a compound with 4 tenants.
One of my co-tenant's wife have shown me acts of kindness many times and I want to repay her kindness but I don't know how to go about it without getting her suspicious husband worked up or cause problems in their home.

I am a very busy bachelor, I hardly have time to do most home chores. I go out early and come back late at night.

This lady helps me remove my clothes outside when I spread them, when I bring out trash and keep it outside she helps me to take them out, even when wind blow off my clothes from the line, she will wash and dry them . She's the only one that comes to ring my door bell to notify me whenever power is restored when I am on gen and asleep.

I've been thinking of ways to repay her kindness but the problem is her husband with the little interactions I've had with him is someone that will read meanings to my kindness to them....I once traveled and bought things for them, when I went to give the things I bought for them the husband was not around, I delivered the stuff to the wife at the door and left.

After some days, I was having a conversation with the man and he said " Men should not visit the home of a married woman whenever the husband was not around" I was shocked because what he said had nothing to do with our discussion.
One other time, I and the wife were the only ones left in the compound during the festive period when everyone had traveled, I noticed the wife doesn't sleep in the compound...she comes back every morning. I believe it was the instruction from her husband not to be sleeping in the house and I believe it's because of me. The woman is always in a hurry whenever she returns my clothes or comes to notify me to turn off my gen.

I know they are struggling in these hard times and I have the capacity to help but I don't want the husband to read unnecessary meanings to anything I do for them... He is also a kind of person that will feel I am looking down on him if I render any help.

I don't really blame the man cos he sees how different girls comes to my house and he may think I will have interest in his wife.

I've discussed this with some of my friends, some said I should forget about helping or giving anything to the man or his wife while some think I should go ahead if I want to.
So I want nairalanders to help me decide on what I should do.

baba you can help me. Leave that one e fit bring trouble

Klass99:
I am surprised at the majority of responses asking the OP to mind his business, as if a sincere thought or act of kindness is now a crime and taboo! Have you people never been touched (in your hearts) by the kindness of thoughtful people who sensed your needs and helped you without you asking? Na wao!

@ Shortgun, the part in bold is what jumped out at me the most and your neighbour's simple acts of good neighbourliness. I see nothing wrong with what you're thinking or would like to do. If I were in your shoes I would proceed because that's one of the ways we put belief into practice (as true believers) and build goodwill with others.

I'm also someone who likes to confront issues head own, so in your case I will meet with the husband directly and tell him hoha that bros I feel led in my spirit to gift you and wifey something, for being good/helpful neighbours. If you don't mind, pls send me your account details and leave it at that.

If he doesn't respond well to your kind gesture then you can leave it alone. On the other hand if they have children you can buy the kids things and claim the things were shared at your office but since you don't have kids you thought of them.

Only an unwise person will refuse a cash gift with no strings attached to it. I repeat, there's nothing wrong with your thought processes I dig people like you.

My brother I understand your personality, u are the type that will never allow people around u to lack anything once u are in a position to help
But in this case he has to apply wisdom and be very very careful in handling it bcs their are some men that are sadist in nature. To avoid issue I will only advice op to mind his business unless the woman comes around for help

Klass99:
I am surprised at the majority of responses asking the OP to mind his business, as if a sincere thought or act of kindness is now a crime and taboo! Have you people never been touched (in your hearts) by the kindness of thoughtful people who sensed your needs and helped you without you asking? Na wao!

I love your contribution. I read OP and the responses this morning and didn't know what to say. You can't be kind in this country and have a friendly relationship with a neighbor of the other sex because people always have second thoughts. Their minds are so corrupted and they feel so insecure as a result of it that OP's pure intentions go unnoticed and under appreciated. It's sad, seriously.

shortgun:
I stay in a compound with 4 tenants.
One of my co-tenant's wife have shown me acts of kindness many times and I want to repay her kindness but I don't know how to go about it without getting her suspicious husband worked up or cause problems in their home.

I am a very busy bachelor, I hardly have time to do most home chores. I go out early and come back late at night.

This lady helps me remove my clothes outside when I spread them, when I bring out trash and keep it outside she helps me to take them out, even when wind blow off my clothes from the line, she will wash and dry them . She's the only one that comes to ring my door bell to notify me whenever power is restored when I am on gen and asleep.

I've been thinking of ways to repay her kindness but the problem is her husband with the little interactions I've had with him is someone that will read meanings to my kindness to them....I once traveled and bought things for them, when I went to give the things I bought for them the husband was not around, I delivered the stuff to the wife at the door and left.

After some days, I was having a conversation with the man and he said " Men should not visit the home of a married woman whenever the husband was not around" I was shocked because what he said had nothing to do with our discussion.
One other time, I and the wife were the only ones left in the compound during the festive period when everyone had traveled, I noticed the wife doesn't sleep in the compound...she comes back every morning. I believe it was the instruction from her husband not to be sleeping in the house and I believe it's because of me. The woman is always in a hurry whenever she returns my clothes or comes to notify me to turn off my gen.

I know they are struggling in these hard times and I have the capacity to help but I don't want the husband to read unnecessary meanings to anything I do for them... He is also a kind of person that will feel I am looking down on him if I render any help.

I don't really blame the man cos he sees how different girls comes to my house and he may think I will have interest in his wife.

I've discussed this with some of my friends, some said I should forget about helping or giving anything to the man or his wife while some think I should go ahead if I want to.
So I want nairalanders to help me decide on what I should do.

That's all I needed to read.

Your intuition is guiding you, I suggest you listen to it.

capricornlady:
You are in Nigeria, so please mind your business and face your front before you get yourself into trouble.
Remove your eye from their family. if they ask for your help, support and assist them with what you have, but if nobody has asked you for anything, stay on your lane.

Exactly

Klass99:
@ The bolded parts.........excuse you!!! The OP is now promiscuous, because he usually has many female visitors abi? Did he tell you he sleeps with all the women who visit him?

Your baseless assertion about him reeks of the sort of shallow mindedness that gives me a headache. It further reveals we are worlds apart in our thinking and reasoning. So, to engage you beyond this post will be a brain damaging activity.

Kindness is not an exclusive reserve of believers alone (can you even understand that? ) as in, any human being can demonstrate kindness to another and other living creatures, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Kindness is a phenomenon common to humanity, not to one religious sect alone.

Please deactivate your stupidity.

going by your exchange with @zeuss
Your mind is dangerously and selfishly one track.....I don't know you but obviously you think your self a feminist. it's not all about you, your point of view is just what it is(yours), going by your post you still have a lot to learn, Although I know you will resist this reality. A person that knows not and realizes she knows not and wants to know is wise and vice versa.

offering you the benefit of sound advicement, whenever you engage a person in discuss give room for civil banter at worst. you may teach or learn something.

Now Promiscuity is not a word exclusively suggestive of sexual behavior it is and can also be deployed as a
GRADED ADJECTIVE e.g I bask in the euphoria of my promiscous lineup of exotic cars and stunning women. FACT.

the op has a promiscous entourage of beauties in full view of his neighbors flocking his residence(this is what @zeuss was driving in and you bared your claws and fangs) as a husband or father I would squirm at the thought of my wife to be or child being among the number, it's a natural male feeling even a woman also would feel same but a feminist would first assume her right to adventure is being subject to control.

The OP although appearing kindhearted has a demeanor this speaks to his experience with women I guess this is what his neighbors husband perceived and @zeus also caught wind off
go to the last statement of his quoted text below

shortgun:
3 things my Dad told me the day I turned 12.

1. Never desire another man's wife.
2. Never deny any man his dues.
3. Don't look down on anyone.

I've kept these words close to my heart all my life and they have been my guide.
If having willing females equals success, I would be among
the most successful men alive.

OP is a ladies man, take it to the bank that he exudes the swag and confidence that goes with the territory thus the woman in question may be silently crushing and the husband may be very threatened.

OP way and your way na different frequency dnt put him in harm's way, oversabi women dey always cause confusion Waka go like ssy nothing.

Klass99:
Interestingly, when we are in trouble with a broken down car on the highway, police harassing us for no good reason in public or it starts raining unexpectedly and we are caught up in it, with no shelter or umbrella and cars are driving by, we desperately wish people won't mind their business at such times and actually intervene to help us - how is that different from what OP wants to do?

Thank you for this.
With the comments I saw here, I was beginning to think maybe something was wrong with my consideration.
I will go ahead with my plans to help them anyway I can.
Like someone said, I can buy gifts for their child, I don't think that will ring a bell.

Klass99:
Thank you dear

I saw the thread and was like WTF is wrong with some people? It is beyond sad, the way some people think, the sort of assumptions and conclusions they jump to as well - mindsets full of negativity.

One poster even claimed the OP is promiscuous, of all the things OP wrote promiscuity was the thing that poster picked up on. Very nonsense and ingredients comment, na that one vex me pass sef.

By the way I'm enjoying your pregnancy thread and the stories being shared. While smiling to myself, liking posts and also thinking Klass you will not put yourself through this nightmare

God knows I can't deal with this amount of negativity and insecurity.

LOL@nightmare
It's not a nightmare if it's not complicated but I don't understand people say that it was the most beautiful time in their lives. It's hard work with magical moments. You, stay true to yourself! Never have any regrets!

I can bet my 2 balls and a tongue that if that woman comes to him at night during one of those days no one is in the compound ,O. P will gladly kpansh a married woman.

Bush2013:
baba you can help me. Leave that one e fit bring trouble

Na True
Baba shotgun please help this guy if you are led in the spirit to help anyone

shortgun:
Thank you for this.
With the comments I saw here, I was beginning to think maybe something was wrong with my consideration.
I will go ahead with my plans to help them anyway I can.
Like someone said, I can buy gifts for their child, I don't think that will ring a bell.

Before you do, answer these questions honestly:

Would it be called "help" if it is not solicited for or needed?
Help is much appreciated when asked for/needed.

Why are you desperate to "help" even when the husband hinted that he does not like you giving things to his wife, especially in his absence? You even sought your friends opinion and still went ahead to created a thread on it...proves you've been on the matter

How come you take note that she does not sleep at home when the husband is not around? (Why do you care so much where she sleeps or when she comes and goes?) You must be very observant for a "busy bachelor"

You probably genuinely love helping, so why not wait till the opportunity (to help them) presents itself?

Why cause unnecessary misunderstanding between them?

calaway:
going by your exchange with @zeuss
Your mind is dangerously and selfishly one track.....I don't know you but obviously you think your self a feminist. it's not all about you, your point of view is just what it is(yours), going by your post you still have a lot to learn, Although I know you will resist this reality. A person that knows not and realizes she knows not and wants to know is wise and vice versa.

offering you the benefit of sound advicement, whenever you engage a person in discuss give room for civil banter at worst. you may teach or learn something.

Now Promiscuity is not a word exclusively suggestive of sexual behavior it is and can also be deployed as a
GRADED ADJECTIVE e.g I bask in the euphoria of my promiscous lineup of exotic cars and stunning women. FACT.

the op has a promiscous entourage of beauties in full view of his neighbors flocking his residence(this is what @zeuss was driving in and you bared your claws and fangs) as a husband or father I would squirm at the thought of my wife to be or child being among the number, it's a natural male feeling even a woman also would feel same but a feminist would first assume her right to adventure is being subject to control.

The OP although appearing kindhearted has a demeanor this speaks to his experience with women I guess this is what his neighbors husband perceived and @zeus also caught wind off
go to the last statement of his quoted text below



OP is a ladies man, take it to the bank that he exudes the swag and confidence that goes with the territory thus the woman in question may be silently crushing and the husband may be very threatened.

OP way and your way na different frequency dnt put him in harm's way, oversabi women dey always cause confusion Waka go like ssy nothing.

you have summarized d Matta.,..Gr8 understanding you have sir.
@shortgun make friends with the man , invite him out to watch soccer or have drinks get to know him and in a subtle way let him know you are generous.
dont go to his house bearing gift he will think you have ulterior motives and he may think there is something up with his wife which will also cause probs for thm remember ur first experience with him maybe he caught her peeping at u through their window, women can cause gbege!
guy being stranded on the highway and looking for somebody to do miracle for u in a shop is a different kettle of fish. they are your neighbors.... remember the man had passed a message earlier. bcareful, dnt listen to that feminist......na wahala dey call you so.

Klass99:
I am surprised at the majority of responses asking the OP to mind his business as if a sincere thought or act of kindness is now a crime and taboo! Have you people never been touched (in your hearts) by the kindness of thoughtful people who sensed your needs and helped you without you asking? Na wao!

@ Shotgun, the part in bold is what jumped out at me the most and your neighbor's good neighborliness. I see nothing wrong with what you're thinking or would like to do. If I were in your shoes I would proceed because that's one of the ways we put belief into practice (by helping others as true believers) and build goodwill with others.

I'm also someone who likes to confront issues head own, so in your case, I will meet with the husband directly and tell him haha that bros I feel led in my spirit to gift you and wifey something, for being good/helpful neighbors (you can leave this part out) If you don't mind, pls send me your account details and leave it at that.

If he doesn't respond well to your gesture then you can leave it alone. On the other hand, if they have children you can buy the kids things or claim the things were shared at your office but since you don't have kids you thought of them.

Only an unwise person will refuse a cash gift with no strings attached to it. I repeat, there's nothing wrong with your thought processes I dig people like you.

Thank you ooh... I read comments begin to wonder if others entirely read a different story.

Nairaland people go read things and understand am the way they want to understand am.....

mariahAngel:
Before you do, answer these questions honestly:

Would it be called "help" if it is not solicited for or needed?
Help is much appreciated when asked for/needed.

Why are you desperate to "help" even when the husband hinted that he does not like you giving things to his wife, especially in his absence? You even sought your friend's opinion and still went ahead to create a thread on it...proves you've been on the matter

How come you take note that she does not sleep at home when the husband is not around? (Why do you care so much where she sleeps or when she comes and goes?) You must be very observant for a "busy bachelor"

You probably genuinely love helping, so why not wait till the opportunity (to help them) presents itself?

Why cause unnecessary misunderstandings between them?

Your type can misquote things.

Kenturkey048:
Your type can misquote things.

No, your understanding is poor.....
go back and read the 3rd paragraph of the post.