₦airaland Forum

Rozcol:
[s]Why would she cry over a cheating man as if she's his wife or mother,if she can't put up then she should quit and avoid unnecessary drama.Some ladies and drama sha.The only sin I can't ever forgive in marriage is if my husband has kid/kids outside our Union, I will divorce him without ever looking back because there's a lot of interpretation to that,I have my children's life to protect jealously with all of my life and existence and no irresponsible man will make that difficult for me.[/s]

Rozcol:
Why would she cry over a cheating man as if she's his wife or mother,if she can't put up then she should quit and avoid unnecessary drama.Some ladies and drama sha.The only sin I can't ever forgive in marriage is if my husband has kid/kids outside our Union, I will divorce him without ever looking back because there's a lot of interpretation to that,I have my children's life to protect jealously with all of my life and existence and no irresponsible man will make that difficult for me.

Nazgul:
Forgiveness is good. But never accept back a cheating partner after forgiving her, whatever reason(s) made her spread her legs will make her do it again and again. Once she cheats, just discard her and move on, she's not worth your time.

eneazi:
And what if you're married to the person same way my friend is? how many will you keep discarding and moving on to? Just asking anyway.

I feel often time people are willing to forgive their partners, but don't because at one point in time they've bragged to friends about not tolerating such, and the only way to save silly face is act like they're tough while dying slowly

eneazi:
I'd like to add that my years of counselling has made me understand that people who talk tough about leaving a cheating partner most times are living with one that they are fully aware of cheats.

eneazi:
When you talk; do not bottle things up, let your partner know how much their action has hurt you, express your feelings and not oppress it.
If you've forgiven do not make reference to his/her offence again-- remember it should be left in the past, focus on the future by making things better.
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eneazi:
A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine called me.
"E I'd really love to see you," She said and hung up, there was an urgency in her voice that really worried me.
We fixed a lunch date at Fresh Dew (Jabi lake Mall). I felt I was going to need a crystal ball for our conversation because she wasn't a talker and I was more of the listener.

Luckily, whatever was bothering her made her loosen up. It was obvious she was struggling to hold back the water wells.
"Ade is cheating on me," She blurted out.
I looked on without blinking. To cut the long story short, she had her suspicion about her cheating husband for a while, but didnt let it soak, somehow she found out and he came clean.

What hurt most, was the fact that he was cheating on her with his ex. She was devastated and didnt know what to do, but love him regardless. She was ready to cut her losses and leave, but took into consideration my counsel and things are gradually picking up.

I know a lot of people are caught in this web, and find it hard to forgive, but dragging whatever hurt you feel affects you most. Below are somethings I had dished out to my friend hope it helps someone find their road to forgiving.


1) Forgiveness is you doing yourself favour

Forgiveness is you doing you a favour, by not dragging unnecessary baggage of hurt. Forgiveness is easy, but forgetting most often can be tasking.

As long as your partner is bold/honest enough to come clean, trust me such a person deserves a second chance. I know how painful it is to be aware of the fact that your partner is or has cheated, but we live in a world where people deem themselves infallible, never accepting their faults or blaming someone else for their shortcomings.

If you're lucky enough to have a partner who accepts his/her wrong, such a person doesn't deserve the noose.


2) Talk about the problem

A significant step to forgiveness is talking about the issue, sometimes it helps to know why your partner acted the way they did, what drove them into their action hearing from them helps you forgive faster.

You might even be surprised to learn that in a not so good way you contributed a cent unknowingly to their action or again that such action was borne from previous hurt that they've not been able to let go.

When you talk; do not bottle things up, let your partner know how much their action has hurt you, express your feelings and not oppress it.


3) Let it go

Once you've been able to understand the reason for their action, it becomes imperative you let go.

I know how tempting reminding your partner about their mean acts at every opportunity can be, but desist from such act, it will only drive your partner far away from you.

If you've forgiven do not make reference to his/her offence again-- remember it should be left in the past, focus on the future by making things better.






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Lovebliss2:
But there are some partners that don't like talking about problems. They just love to keep malice.