₦airaland Forum

Ah! I was en route to Maiduguri. It had been long I ate okpa so I bought the one of ₦400 (three for ₦200), bought pork ₦800 (four big things), two chicken laps, and two yorghurt...with some candies I'll use to keep the mouth busy.

Baba, I chop okpa so tey I tire. I couldn't let the okpa make me lose appetite, or get full quickly for the meat so I hurriedly ate them all without drinking the yorghurt to keep the stomach space open.

I began on the meat and finished all then used the yorghurt to step it down. Few minutes later, I felt like I needed to keep my mouth busy with the candies and licked abi chewed all of them. About ₦200 worth of candies sold at two for ₦10.


E no tey osmosis begin do me for belle. I initially thought it was a small fart and as I was about unleashing it silently, the Markapolo ran into a gallop and it sounded loud as I bounced back on the chair.

Mehn, see as everybody dey watch me. I tried explaining sth I couldn't remember..(lies sha)...na so one Oga interrupted me “instead of you to apologize, you still dey speak English baa?”

Mehn, you mean I should stand up and apologize that -- not even that I broke sth or gave a wrong direction but -- I farted! Fada lawd! Well, I did it sha.


I thought it ended there until the osmosis came again, this time with a back breaker. I felt it was fart and was controlling it to release a silent missile...baba, no bi fart o. Na purge.

I sweated like ewu nchi abali. My back and waist was breaking by every gallop. To compound everything, it was night. Tears really flowed down my cheeks with the sweat.

God, I will continue to serve you. You are merciful and gracious! I worship you. In mid-thought, dem say one woman started having the asthmatic thing and was gulping for air. The whole passengers was begging the driver to stop at any nearby chemist make sb buy inhaler as she forgot hers. Na so me follow beg too o, even top voice.

Las las, Oga stop motor. As the two people wey wan buy the thing go down and others wey wan piss, I ran with all I've got to a far spot. I no even bend down finish, waaaaaaahhhh. I condemn that boxer there sha.


The rest is history.


Abeg make una drop una tori.

Lalasticlala, you nko?

Went to Abia state, Aba to be precise to buy stuffs at Ariaria market... And on my way returning...While I was on the bus that was loading people... I saw a fried chicken and I called to get some... and while I make selection and bought two and was busy chewing it.. it was hard to chew and I didn't even care... So far it was chicken...


A lady who sat behind me had gotten the chicken too... So while I was almost finishing the last chicken I was struggling with.. The lady called the girl who sold us the chick back and asked her if these where death chicken sold to people and the girl quickly took her market and left the area...


The woman spat and threw it away....

Me that had almost finished my own... couldn't hide the shame.... Kept quiet and threw the remaining bones away and kept my face straight.... People where just staring at me... The man who enjoyed eating tasteless dead chicken...

yanabasee1:
Went to Abia state, Aba to be precise to buy stuffs at Ariaria market... And on my way returning...While I was on the bus that was loading people... I saw a fried chicken and I called to get some... and while I make selection and bought two and was busy chewing it.. it was hard to chew and I didn't even care... So far it was chicken...


A lady who sat behind me had gotten the chicken too... So while I was almost finishing the last chicken I was struggling with.. The lady called the girl who sold us the chick back and asked her if these where death chicken sold to people and the girl quickly took her market and left the area...


The woman spat and threw it away....

Me that had almost finished my own... couldn't hide the shame.... Kept quiet and threw the remaining bones away and kept my face straight.... People where just staring at me... The man who enjoyed eating tasteless dead chicken...

Lol. I cannot even chew any chicken I didn't prepare myself.

I can only smell lies....... 100% lies..... How can only u eat six[6] okpa(food wey be like 3310), four[4] big pork(meat wey no dey finish for mouth), two[2] chicken(am very sure sey na drumstick wey get meat wella u carry), and finally, two hollandia youghurt(drink wey be sey na like 2-3 person dey use am mix red label/big stout)... Haba! My broda, are u a glutton? But seriously, all this thread full of lies are still better than those sad sad new use to post on a daily basis for some time now.

After my semester ended, I board a bus that would take me to Benin city, on our way the bus started entering into pot holes; when the tire enters a gap, my dick will hit the chair so this causes irrection for me, it was embarrassing it got to a point the lady sitting beside me saw my irrection, it was awkward I just bone and use my hand cover my property

Wawelexy:
I can only smell lies....... 100% lies..... How can only u eat six[6] okpa(food wey be like 3310), four[4] big pork(meat wey no dey finish for mouth), two[2] chicken(am very sure sey na drumstick wey get meat wella u carry), and finally, two hollandia youghurt(drink wey be sey na like 2-3 person dey use am mix red label/big stout)... Haba! My broda, are u a glutton? But seriously, all this thread full of lies are still better than those sad sad new use to post on a daily basis for some time now.

Okpa Enugu isn't what you think.

And its not Hollandia.

Believe what you what.

josh123:
After my semester ended, I board a bus that would take me to Benin city, on our way the bus started entering into pot holes; when the tire enters a gap, my dick will hit the chair so this causes irrection for me, it was embarrassing it got to a point the lady sitting beside me saw my irrection, it was awkward I just bone and use my hand cover my property

Common gallop your tompolo dey rise.

chatinent:
Common gallop your tompolo dey rise.

he get he own brain

No much experience sha
I have traveled from Edo to Zamfara late last year for my Nysc orientation camp
....
When I travel abroad I will tell my travel experience

Goodluckall:
No much experience sha
I have traveled from Edo to Zamfara late last year for my Nysc orientation camp
....
When I travel abroad I will tell my travel experience

Come make we go together na

Was on my way to East, the bus AC was blasting very high na so possibly hold me. Driver no free stop oh. As I no fit endure am again, I piss for body and the nonsense AC still dry am before we reach where the driver say na official spot to stop their buses.

Opus85:
Was on my way to East, the bus AC was blasting very high na so possibly hold me. Driver no free stop oh. As I no fit endure am again, I piss for body and the nonsense AC still dry am before we reach where the driver say na official spot to stop their buses.

Lol. Lalasticlala, how far?

.