Rozcol:
Go and rent a place for you and your wife alone before you pave way for seeds of discord between them.I can never agree to live with a mother in-law no matter how good she is,never.

You be Kpekus or Dickson?

omoolokunEsin:


Accept his intervention as fact, please. His words are more wisdom-laden than yours.

waka

prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

Na to avoid see finish.
The person(s) that advised u thus is on point.
Females are complex creatures- be it 7 yrs old or 70yrs e nor mata.
They will tear each other down psychologically then physically.

If u want a happy marriage/life go rent a new house.

Rubbiish:

Go build the foundation of a single room, then come back & quote me, only then u can sound sensible! U think building a house is buying makeup kits? That u want a landlord to become a tenant just because he wants to get married? Senseless thing!

Na man you be

Rozcol:
Yes I'll be a motherinlaw someday that will not go and live in his son's house with his wife and monitor their life's like a monitoring spirit,I'm a realist and I don't pretend

You don't have any valid point.

I am not a wwoma.

AND MY MAMA WILL STAY WITH ME.

LET ME SHARE THIS HEART WRENCHING STORY!

There is this old woman that stays close to my house. Her sons are very rich but she is not staying with them. They rented an apartment for her and employed the service of a care giver. The care giver collects monthly stipends but doesn't take good care of the woman. Every now and then you will see her on the street dirty and hungry and her kids are money bags.

for what will I let my Mama go through that kind of life. I OWE HER MY COMPANY,JOY, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS AND MANY MORE.

WE NIGERIANS ARE VERY WICKED AND HARD HEARTED.

I KEEP SAYING IT.

THERE IS NO LOVE IN THIS COUNTRY.

THAT'S WHY I ANI'T DATING NO ONE FOR NOW. IT'S A WASTE OF TIME.

IF I FEEL LIKE HOOKING UP I JUST HOOK UP AND STAY ON MY OWN.

frozen70:


The modem day women are not ready to accept their mother inlaws the way they see them
But the good thing is that, they too are future mother inlaw

From a NEUTRAL POINT OF VIEW.. When you get married, you adopt a new FAMILY (by MARRIAGE) while withholding the former but the NEW FAMILY becomes your PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY( Imagine your DAD using your school fees to pay for his brother's business).
I also DISCOVER that NIGERIAN MUMS seems too CLINGY to their SONS even after MARRIAGE forgetting that THEIR SON is now SOMEONE'S HUBBY which is not APPLICABLE to FATHERS but they Dont try that with their DAUGHTER because they know that it doesn't go WELL MOST TIMES with their SON-INLAW..
I as an INDIVIDUAL won't stay UNDER THE SAME ROOF with my WIFE and MY MOTHER, but i'll make sure she gets the required attention and CARE from me..
I've attended many WEDDING CEREMONY that the PASTORS begs the MOTHER-INLAWS from both side to please allow the NEW COUPLE enjoy their MARRIAGE without INVASION of PRIVACY and they always emphasize that FATHER-INLAWS Dont do that because they are not WIRED like that...

some women think say dem...smart...ni

things you will never dream of doing to..yr own Mothers. and siblings.......u will gladly do and compel ur husband to do to.....his mother and siblings......just because say of marriage..............

[color=#006600][/color][b][/b]

Fountainofyouth:



Everybody on the face of the earth don't get along with each other, that is the simple fact, siblings fight, friends fight, husband and wife fight, even parents have misunderstanding with their children, even if a person is said to be the best of behavior, there is no how there won't be conflict when staying together for long, daughter and mother in law conflict is no different, so they should stay away from each other to completely avoid misunderstanding cos it is bound to happen.

It is mischief makers that keep making it seem as if mother and daughter in law relationship is a big deal when they are not different from every other human being.

Fountainofyouth:



Everybody on the face of the earth don't get along with each other, that is the simple fact, siblings fight, friends fight, husband and wife fight, even parents have misunderstanding with their children, even if a person is said to be the best of behavior, there is no how there won't be conflict when staying together for long, daughter and mother in law conflict is no different, so they should stay away from each other to completely avoid misunderstanding cos it is bound to happen.

It is mischief makers that keep making it seem as if mother and daughter in law relationship is a big deal when they are not different from every other human being.

Fountainofyouth:



Everybody on the face of the earth don't get along with each other, that is the simple fact, siblings fight, friends fight, husband and wife fight, even parents have misunderstanding with their children, even if a person is said to be the best of behavior, there is no how there won't be conflict when staying together for long, daughter and mother in law conflict is no different, so they should stay away from each other to completely avoid misunderstanding cos it is bound to happen.

It is mischief makers that keep making it seem as if mother and daughter in law relationship is a big deal when they are not different from every other human being.

I find it difficult understanding your point. It seems contradictory. By your submission, everyone on the face of the Earth don't get along with each other, including friends, family members, daughters and mothers in-laws, husband and wife etc. Why then do you choose to separate only daughters and mothers in-laws to avoid conflict? Why not separate husbands and wives also to avoid miss-understanding. I think the fight between husbands and wives is more common than that between daughters and mothers in-laws.

prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

I see no problem here cos im sure ur mom can mind her business. Abeg don't rent anything.

You lucky u not in India where aunts and distant relatives dey stay same house

Rozcol:
waka

But it's the truth! Mere words, abuses and curses have never been known to erase solid truth!

prealjewel1993:
Good evening everyone
Please is it advisable to stay in the same company with your mother and wife
Here is the situation
I have a house , three flat , my mother stays in one of the flat
Me, i will getting married soon , some of my friends said i should go rent an apartment that i should not stay in the same company with my mother and my wife
Please i need your advice

There is nothing wrong with your mother's living space being proximal to yours, but sometimes you wanna do crazy stuff and not to be reprimanded and sometimes you want your wife to be herself, to know her better and not become conditioned to behaving a certain way because the MIL is within the proximity.

My advise?

If the location supports business, then two flats becomes a business location and your mom lives there, while you secure a service apartment. There should be certain moets to the rented space that makes it even wonderful to move out of your own home and that becomes your reason to your mom for moving out.

If the location does not support business, then by all means put tenants in the two flats and such rents should cover the rent of your new place and leave you balance for home management.

Maintaining own homes are very expensive, There is something sweet about owning homes but moving into service apartment you lease for a period and packing out after a few years to even sweeter and classier rented spaces in different parts of the town or different town is amazing.

I got bored living in my home, so now I am living in rented serviced apartments. I hate to deal with generator/diesel/maintenance/gate-man nonsense.

nniero11:


You don't have any valid point.

I am not a wwoma.

AND MY MAMA WILL STAY WITH ME.

LET ME SHARE THIS HEART WRENCHING STORY!

There is this old woman that stays close to my house. Her sons are very rich but she is not staying with them. They rented an apartment for her and employed the service of a care giver. The care giver collects monthly stipends but doesn't take good care of the woman. Every now and then you will see her on the street dirty and hungry and her kids are money bags.

for what will I let my Mama go through that kind of life. I OWE HER MY COMPANY,JOY, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS AND MANY MORE.

WE NIGERIANS ARE VERY WICKED AND HARD HEARTED.

I KEEP SAYING IT.

THERE IS NO LOVE IN THIS COUNTRY.

THAT'S WHY I ANI'T DATING NO ONE FOR NOW. IT'S A WASTE OF TIME.

IF I FEEL LIKE HOOKING UP I JUST HOOK UP AND STAY ON MY OWN.

Don't take my words seriously, on the contrary I loved momas and I derive joy taking care of the old and weak (I have a personal story about this) I thought you wanted to fight but it seems you are not like the common toxic nairalanders. Please stop doing hookups its dangerous, there are still good women out there

Dude go rent an apartment, I know of a guy that stays in the same compound with his mother In-law and his wife. When the wife goes out the dude fxcks the mother In-law. At last he was caught and the wife divorce him.

gift2xl:
Dude go rent an apartment, I know of a guy that stays in the same compound with his mother In-law and his wife. When the wife goes out the dude fxcks the mother In-law. At last he was caught and the wife divorce him.

kikiki its never a good idea but some people will tag you bad for saying the obvious truth

Rozcol:
Don't take my words seriously, on the contrary I loved momas and I derive joy taking care of the old and weak (I have a personal story about this) I thought you wanted to fight but it seems you are not like the common toxic nairalanders. Please stop doing hookups its dangerous, there are still good women out there

It's not a regular thing! I practice abstinence too!

Good to know you are not that kind of person!

I thought i was the only one thar noticed it

Honestly OP is really dumb

I wonder how he own three bedroom he claims sef

SonofGod231:
OP Please let's fix the "Headlines" and your English first. Before fixing the main problem here.Its really broken.
Referring to your own mum as mother-in-law.
Makes you sound like an elementary school child.its embarrassing

inumidun2010:


From a NEUTRAL POINT OF VIEW.. When you get married, you adopt a new FAMILY (by MARRIAGE) while withholding the former but the NEW FAMILY becomes your PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY( Imagine your DAD using your school fees to pay for his brother's business).
I also DISCOVER that NIGERIAN MUMS seems too CLINGY to their SONS even after MARRIAGE forgetting that THEIR SON is now SOMEONE'S HUBBY which is not APPLICABLE to FATHERS but they Dont try that with their DAUGHTER because they know that it doesn't go WELL MOST TIMES with their SON-INLAW..
I as an INDIVIDUAL won't stay UNDER THE SAME ROOF with my WIFE and MY MOTHER, but i'll make sure she gets the required attention and CARE from me..
I've attended many WEDDING CEREMONY that the PASTORS begs the MOTHER-INLAWS from both side to please allow the NEW COUPLE enjoy their MARRIAGE without INVASION of PRIVACY and they always emphasize that FATHER-INLAWS Dont do that because they are not WIRED like that...

Women are wired differently from men

Seems the whites are better at accommodating people than we blacks.

SonofGod231:
OP Please let's fix the "Headlines" and your English first. Before fixing the main problem here.Its really broken.
Referring to your own mum as mother-in-law.
Makes you sound like an elementary school child.its embarrassing

The mother in law will eventually come when he gets married abi. Lol

Let him rent out the apartment. In my case the marriage didn't last a year. Women will be women. Rivalry is their thing. For a start move out and understand your woman better.

Baawahala:
Those women who don't want their mother in-law around are those planning to use their husband brain for ritual or manipulate them into dying early.

Let's deal with this...
Your Mom is a DISCIPLINARIAN while your WIFE is kinda MILD with KIDS, everyday, YOUR MOM FLOGS the CHILDREN because they are STUBBORN and it doesn't really AUGUR WELL with YOUR WIFE seeing her CHILDREN crying EVERYTIME.. That house is SITTING on a TIME BOMB because one day, the WIFE will EXPLODE no matter how GENTLE and CALM she is SEEING her CHILDREN crying EVERYTIME
You come home as the HUSBAND, whose side will you take, if you take SIDES your MOTHER( You WIFE will be DISPLEASED), You take sides with your WIFE ( Your MOTHER becomes BITTER and keep reminding you how she CARRIED YOU FOR 9 MONTHS)
JUST PRAY FOR A GOOD WIFE, because loneliness at OLDAGE isn't GOOD FOR ANYONE

ImaIma1:
Most people usually prefer to rent outside, especially those who want privacy and to be away from their mother's watchful eyes.

A family friend of mine left the building his mum built when he got married. He could easily have a flat to himself there. But he said he couldn't be with his mother all his life. Sometimes, it's not always about the wife.

There are still peaceful women out there. Buh it's rare to see. Women like wahala, my mum is number 1. Maybe bcus de are too emotional or something. May God help us from de hands of evil women

Kondomatic:
It's actually different.

Son inlaws rarely have issues with mother inlaws.

Daughter in laws rarely have issues with father in laws.

Son in laws don't have issues with father in laws but mother in laws and daughter in laws are always in the news.

There's a reason.

Mother thinks another woman is taking her son from her and wife thinks a married man should leave his mother and cling to his wife.

Who else in man's life will feel this way? Please this daughter inlaw and mother in law fight is different and will always be.

It's not for me to decide for the Op but if I have a house of 3 flats and the woman I want to marry says that I should move out of the house because of my mother who is living in one, I will leave her.

Any friend that advises me to do such will be unfriended too.

Women don't really leave their family after marriage the way they expect men to do. Most women are okay with their siblings visiting or even living with them, especially their last born.

Their mother can visit and stay for months but once the man's siblings or even mother stays for one week, she will start complaining.

SMH.

Marriage cannot make me a tenant when I am a landlord abeg.

I concur with you 100% I hate to say this, but women do not truly like themselves.

That wife and mother living in one space broke me patapata...it was heat everywhere. Remember if ur wife too get mama, she too go dey like get updates. See finish plenty. Omo no let any dumbest deceive u ooo. The experience experience make me dumb. .

frozen70:



Women are wired differently from men

I've noticed that most nowaday wives want to have their husbands to themselves only (from extended family), and kids to themselves only (from husbands). I don't know how to put it better.

The MILs also need to it easy on the wives. It's not always easy for the man to take a side.

May God teach you better, OP. I don't really have any advice for you coz it's a complicated situation in this age - a dilemma.

Rubbiish:

@bold How do u mean only God knows? Something u & i know, u are saying only God knows? It is obviously because of selfishness!

Using u as an example, u are suggesting he rent a mini flat for his mum because that is the same thing u would have told your husband to do! Now if that woman was your mother would u have suggested same? My friend's wife mum has been living with them ever since they got married & everything has been peaceful, but I am very sure if reversed was the case, that marriage won't be the way it is now.

THATS IT EXACTLY

pls my brother rent another house for u en ur wife pls don't let ur mum en wife stay together it won't be funny no matter how good u think both of them are

Rozcol:
Go and rent a place for you and your wife alone before you pave way for seeds of discord between them.I can never agree to live with a mother in-law no matter how good she is,never.

First time you made sense to me. You're 100% correct, little conflicts can always be avoided.

Rubbiish:

Is this the thank u I am getting for answering your question? U asked the question in quote "Only God knows why mother inlaws and daughter inlaws don't get along". I only answered your question, telling u the answer is selfishness & used u as a case study! What u ladies will never do to your mothers in your dream, u happily do it someone's mother.

At this point I honestly do think the concept of marriage is flawed & if I have my way I will end it! Now a man has struggled to build a house, a woman coming into his life is supposed to be a complement, but her coming into his life has already brought about the topic of him moving out of his own house he built with his hard earned money & all the women on this thread are suggesting he should move out, ok fine! The evil thing here is; this woman(his wife) in question, will not be contributing a dime towards this moving out caused by herself, is this man not already inviting trouble into his life?

frozen70 please can u answer the bold question below;
Is this kind of move progress or retrogression??

Bro when this ladies becomes mother in-laws , they will want their son to do exactly what they never wanted their husbands to do for his mother.
Girls are selfish

Moji12:


lol I think he is asking from the female's perspective.

how could a sensible guy seek advice from daughter of Eve's!

mariahAngel:


Three flats and not a three bedroom flat?
You need new friends.

Wisdom is what builds a home. It takes a lot for marriage to survive in this modern society. The foundation one lays is the key.

ImaIma1:


Perhaps because they are both women. Many guys always want to blame the wives, forgetting that the MIL is also a woman and an older one for that matter, and should be more mature with her dealings with her DIL.

But some mums still can't deal with the fact that another woman now has her son's attention even more than her. So also, some ladies enter a marriage with a mindset about MILs even without getting to.know them.

But the basic thing is two women competing against each other or trying to show their dominance in the guy's life.

Very true