Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

No way....I m a trailblazer. I lead, others follow

let me just add something, OP, there are stages in life, there is a stage at which a man should get married,i peg it at 30 years. as a man, maximum of 38 years or worst case, at 40 years you should be done with child birth. Practical lesson, whats the age of your father when you turned 20 years? if you are 40 years and you give birth to a child, it means at 60 years your child would be 20 years. Now ask yourself and look around your environment, how many men are doing financially ohk @60 years? If you are 60 years and you are not doing financially well, how do you want to take care of your 20 year old Son or Daughter? If you can;t take care of them, mostly the females goes into prostitution, the male would join bad gangs.

You have to make Hay while the Sun shine. if you neglect the right time for you to get married, it would hunt you when you grow old. When you grow old you now want your Daughter to marry a rich man, yet you did not train your own Daughter very well. Marriage is not easy, if anybody tells you marriage is easy, the person is fooling you, but you still have to do it. If by 30 you never marry, you have started missing it, this is the plain truth. Marry a younger woman, you see when getting married, always put your old age into consideration, if you marry your age, whom would take care of you when you grow old, or when you cant see or walk again? at the extreme of my street, there is a papa there, about 100 years, he cant hear again, but his wife is doing the walking about, going to buy this and that.... i have lots to tell you... But you see this life and you are enjoying, flexing, drinking beer, clubbing, am not saying its bad ohh, but if you are doing all this and yet you never put woman for house and your children are not growing while drinking beer, it would hurt you when you turn 50 years. My wife is 32 years, we have 4 kids, 10 years, 6 years, 2 years and 5 months.. If my wife and my first son is walking, you would think my first son is my wife's elder sister Son. He is almost as tall as the mother. i even delay in giving birth to all my kids because am suppose to push all my children at once, but at least i try... Feel free to quote me if you like.


Regards

Continue o, Oga Op. Continue with your playboism. I hope you catch the pox and virus. That's what people like you deserve.

michlins:
the one whose parents married late and left with warchest might not be able to claim those. Knowing how vicious our uncle's can be.

T

Valid point
Uncles from hellfire

Imustnottalk:
If even if you can marry now Sha give one Belle e get why

My brother na was o! That's what my grandma keeps telling me o!

RodgersAkpafu:

Which orphan is better off?

The one whose parents had him at old age
And left a financial war chest for them
Or the one who married young, and struggled financially
Leaving nothing for his kids when he gets crushed by tanker
Answer honestly

One of the problems we have in this country is thinking that money is everything.

You give birth to a child at 60. Leave him millions as inheritance, he grows up with no value and squander it in a year. What have you actually done?

Rich people who understand the value of parenting have decided not to leave their vast fortune as inheritance, they choose to give their children value instead.

The problems of this country is actually not the lavish lifestyle of the rich, it is the entitlement of the rich kids and the decadence of their parents who choose to amass by hook or crook an inheritance for their unborn descendants.

My father is a retired civil servant, he didn't inherited a house from his father. My father even if he doesn't leave me his house, he can be proud to have given me some value in this life by the training he gave me. That training cannot be replaced by money. The relationship we have is not just biological or financial, it is far beyond that my friend.

adanny01:


One of the problems we have in this country is thinking that money is everything.

You give birth to a child at 60. Leave him millions as inheritance, he grows up with no value and squander it in a year. What have you actually done?

Rich people who understand the value of parenting have decided not to leave their vast fortune as inheritance, they choose to give their children value instead.

The problems of this country is actually not the lavish lifestyle of the rich, it is the entitlement of the rich kids and the decadence of their parents who choose to amass by hook or crook an inheritance for their unborn descendants.

My father is a retired civil servant, he didn't inherited a house from his father. My father even if he doesn't leave me his house, he can be proud to have given me some value in this life by the training he gave me. That training cannot be replaced by money. The relationship we have is not just biological or financial, it is far beyond that my friend.

You did not ger my point

okine4real:
let me just add something, OP, there are stages in life, there is a stage at which a man should get married,i peg it at 30 years. as a man, maximum

Regards

Let NL folks be deceiving. He's even proud to call himself a playboy. Lol.

OP must be scared of something, I believe there is something he is not telling us.
But no matter what the problem is that you are going through, God will see you through.
Just pray for Wisdom and a gift of a Virtuous woman and you will see how peaceful and happy you will become.

He who finds a good wife... You know the rest.

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

Sorry but shut up!

He should only marry when he's ready and able to. There are countless very irresponsible married men everywhere.

Op, stop your playboy lifestyle too. You're putting yourself at too much risk. But don't marry because of pressure .

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

Please continue in the path that seems right in your eyes.

At the right time, you will be convinced to get married when ovation is ripe enough.

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

Marriage isn't proof of responsibility , I know a lot , and I mean a lot , of men who are highly irresponsible and are married. Also this backward mentality that we have as Africans is just dumb , anyone can choose not to get married if they so desire , it doesn't take anything away from you.

yanabasee1:




You people always want to make arguments when you shouldn't...


What is responsible about a man who is married and still cheats on his wife?

Being single and taking family responsibilities is different from getting married and taking responsibility of your home... The later shows more of manly behaviors...


On the account that people get married to divorce doesn't add up... If a marriage fails, the both parties are to be blame and that could be anybody's fault... And I don't take divorced people serious...

Why shouldn't you take responsibility on your kids and your wife? I grow up to see my father took care of me and my siblings and my mother who was a civil servant and I am going to also have kids and take care of them and my wife ..


If it's hard for you to take care of yourself... then you're still a kid and should go home and let your parents finish taking care of you... When you grow up, you'll be able to take of yourself...

Being single doesn't mean you can not take care of yourself , there are philanthropist who donate to worthy causes and are single , are you saying they can not take care of themselves or that they are irresponsible , you seriously need to change this your thought process

adanny01:


The problem with responsibility is that the decisions you make today affect tomorrow.

So being a playboy now and choosing to settle and have kids far later in your life is an irresponsible decision. This is because having kids at 50 doesn't give the best for your children. Believe me or not, time is part of responsibility. So to be responsible, you have to decide early if you will marry or not. Delaying that decision alone is irresponsibility.

Responsibility is also bravery, imagine knowing you like women but you chose to have a stable family against your personal desires. That means you have made a sacrifice. That sacrifice is an act of responsibility to the wife and children you have.

If you have decided not to have a wife or children, it means you have chosen not to be responsible for anyone other than yourself. Don't forget that you still have a responsibility towards your old parents and relatives.

If you choose to have a wife and children, you are required to be responsible for them.

It is always looked at as irresponsibility if you have no responsibility towards a person other than yourself.

You have simply avoided any kind of responsibility so you can be said to be irresponsible.

Any woman who dates you is dating an irresponsible man because you have no intention of assuming any responsibility in her life.

In contrast, you are being responsible for using protection so that you will not become a full blown irresponsible man. The only thing here is that you are still only being responsible to yourself.

I would say at this point, you cannot be judged as an irresponsible man, but if you let yourself reach 50 before deciding to have kids, you can be said to have lived an irresponsible life.

So all d married men that are fooling themselves, carrying small girls and spending their hard earned income meant for their families on prostitutes are responsible just because they are married. Was usifo Ataga responsible?

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

what if someone doesn't have the means?

never mind bro

Enjoy your life the way you deem fit... When you get to 70years and your first child is 10years, and you are not able to handle the child like a father should, you sure would understand the sayings MAKE HAY WHILE SUN SHINES..

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

No let anybody harass you. You marry when you are ready. They can't have your children with theirs.

engrchykae:
that's the exact situation I find myself.
The funny thing is that I am a graduate, working and more handsome than my junior brothers yet they are married with two kids each.
I don't have luck for women.

@bold why would u say that? Lol
Are u that old? Are u more than 45?

kenzysmith:
Play boy end at 28 any body who has cross 28 still doing playboy is a Efulefu and immature as a man. Op u suppose to they shame. Go marry old papa youngi shame shame




As your fada and mother feel anytime dey reason ur matter

what is special in marriage,you see alot of White men still single at the age of 60 with thousand of dollars....you can ask does guys that bomb!

lexy2014:


So all d married men that are fooling themselves, carrying small girls and spending their hard earned income meant for their families on prostitutes are responsible just because they are married. Was usifo Ataga responsible?

Thats the thing with responsibility, you can't judge until you go to their homes and see him what is happening.

Responsibility has to do with overall welfare and safety of the family. If a man has done every responsibility of his as a father and husband and still has spare to pay 10k for a night with an ashawo, it is not financial irresponsibility.

If the cheat of the man has no emotional connection to his side chick, there is no emotional irresponsibility.

To prove irresponsibility, you have to proof that the man has not fulfilled his responsibilities at home.

It is irresponsibility for a married man to fvck a side chick, then come home and cannot fulfill the same duty to his wife.

Cheating is bad but not totally in my humble opinion. I have seen where it helped.

mmsen:
I do not understand the African obsession with marriage and child rearing when Africans have failed to put in place the very basics to sustain civilized, dignified existence.

Or why marriage is seen as an achievement in countries with no electricity or safe water supply.

Or security.

Or rule of law.

Strange people.

I love this your write up!

adanny01:


The problem with responsibility is that the decisions you make today affect tomorrow.

So being a playboy now and choosing to settle and have kids far later in your life is an irresponsible decision. This is because having kids at 50 doesn't give the best for your children. Believe me or not, time is part of responsibility. So to be responsible, you have to decide early if you will marry or not. Delaying that decision alone is irresponsibility.

Responsibility is also bravery, imagine knowing you like women but you chose to have a stable family against your personal desires. That means you have made a sacrifice. That sacrifice is an act of responsibility to the wife and children you have.

If you have decided not to have a wife or children, it means you have chosen not to be responsible for anyone other than yourself. Don't forget that you still have a responsibility towards your old parents and relatives.

If you choose to have a wife and children, you are required to be responsible for them.

It is always looked at as irresponsibility if you have no responsibility towards a person other than yourself.

You have simply avoided any kind of responsibility so you can be said to be irresponsible.

Any woman who dates you is dating an irresponsible man because you have no intention of assuming any responsibility in her life.

In contrast, you are being responsible for using protection so that you will not become a full blown irresponsible man. The only thing here is that you are still only being responsible to yourself.

I would say at this point, you cannot be judged as an irresponsible man, but if you let yourself reach 50 before deciding to have kids, you can be said to have lived an irresponsible life.

The way some of u distort d meaning of words in other to propagate these myopic reasoning is amazing. To be responsible simply means duty towards people or accountable for something. If a person doesn't have a wife or kids, how then is he irresponsible? U are only responsible for what u have not what u don't have. From d above, u are saying that if a person doesn't have a job yet, he or she is irresponsible. Irresponsible to what? If a person doesn't have a car, how do u judge his or her responsibility in terms of driving. U can only speak of responsibility when a person occupies a role or position or when a person takes possession of something

Chuky7:


Thanks bro

I tell you that idea of staying with an unknown girl all your life is frightening.

What happens if you don't like her presence anymore or she becomes a pest do I just leave her like that?

But you don't mind sticking your thing into several unknown girls abi.

adanny01:


Thats the thing with responsibility, you can't judge until you go to their homes and see him what is happening.

Responsibility has to do with overall welfare and safety of the family. If a man has done every responsibility of his as a father and husband and still has spare to pay 10k for a night with an ashawo, it is not financial irresponsibility.

If the cheat of the man has no emotional connection to his side chick, there is no emotional irresponsibility.

To prove irresponsibility, you have to proof that the man has not fulfilled his responsibilities at home.

It is irresponsibility for a married man to fvck a side chick, then come home and cannot fulfill the same duty to his wife.

Cheating is bad but not totally in my humble opinion. I have seen where it helped.

U see how warped ur thinking is. Is being faithful to ur wife not part of responsibility? U see d nonesense u are writing

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

Depends on your age

A fool at 40 is usually a fool forever

yanabasee1:
If all the children in your family have gotten married and began to raise a family and you don't seems to bother about it.....than you are yet to grow up.... You still have a childish mentality...


No one is forcing you to get married... But marriage shows that one has gotten to a stage in their life that they'd begin to take responsibility....

Being a man isn't just sleeping around with different girls... but going to get a woman traditionally to become your wife .


Go and marry and gettat from here....

If marriage is your yardstick for measuring maturity then you ain't mature.
It's not only priests and nuns that are exempted from staying single and if it's God's wish that we all should get married then the ratio of male to female birth/death in the whole world should be 1:1
It's Better to stay single and happy than to get married and stay unhappy for the rest of your life

Chuky7:
Has anyone experienced this. This is where I find myself. And I keep getting talks like it's a bad thing. Talks like your last has married before you shouldn't you be ashamed. Some even go to extent of proclaiming abomination.

For me all this one's no concern me. I am a playboy at heart and will marry at my own time or not at all. Depends on how I feel.

Peace of Mind and Freedom is Priceless. Don't Take it away from me.

So have you had similar experience please share

You will soon graduate to play man then your eye go clear. I married at the age of 31 and I regret marrying that late.

lexy2014:


The way some of u distort d meaning of words in other to propagate these myopic reasoning is amazing. To be responsible simply means duty towards people or accountable for something. If a person doesn't have a wife or kids, how then is he irresponsible? U are only responsible for what u have not what u don't have. From d above, u are saying that if a person doesn't have a job yet, he or she is irresponsible. Irresponsible to what? If a person doesn't have a car, how do u judge his or her responsibility in terms of driving. U can only speak of responsibility when a person occupies a role or position or when a person takes possession of something

This is my point if you don't get it.

This mans age is not known, what is known is that he is the eldest and all his siblings are married. That puts him in the late 30's to early 40's. 35-45 in my guess.

That a man at 35 has not decided if he will get married or remain single for the rest of his life is basis for irresponsible even though not yet.

Responsibility is a duty like you rightly said, it is a duty to plan for even an unborn child or even a potential wife. Saving is responsibility.

The fact is he is still undecided, this means he is supposed to be actively doing something as long as their is a possibility that he is going to ever get married and have kids.

Until that day that he decides he is never going to marry or have kids, he is living an irresponsible life.

He is only responsible if he will never marry, but because he is undecided, that indecisiveness is irresponsibility to his future children.

Having children at 50 is irresponsibility. He doesn't have the luxury of the time to keep living an indecisive lifestyle.

Well it's a free world.


For someone who has seen a man who neither got married or had children till he died, I hope you are planning to atleast have kids at a point, e get why.

If you're not ready to marry, please don't. It's better to be an "irresponsible" single man than to be an irresponsible father

adanny01:


This is my point if you don't get it.

This mans age is not known, what is known is that he is the eldest and all his siblings are married. That puts him in the late 30's to early 40's. 35-45 in my guess.

That a man at 35 has not decided if he will get married or remain single for the rest of his life is basis for irresponsible even though not yet.

Responsibility is a duty like you rightly said, it is a duty to plan for even an unborn child or even a potential wife. Saving is responsibility.

The fact is he is still undecided, this means he is supposed to be actively doing something as long as their is a possibility that he is going to ever get married and have kids.

Until that day that he decides he is never going to marry or have kids, he is living an irresponsible life.

He is only responsible if he will never marry, but because he is undecided, that indecisiveness is irresponsibility to his future children.

Having children at 50 is irresponsibility. He doesn't have the luxury of the time to keep living an indecisive lifestyle.

a mans duty in life isnt to plan for an unborn child and potential wife. if he doesnt see any need to have a wife or child, that is his choice. are u telling me that all d hausa beggers that line d streets begging are responsible because they have wives and children?

u have completely distorted d meaning of d word responsible because u want make an invalid point. responsibility is duty towards what u have not what u dont have. so claiming that a mans duty is towards an unborn child and potential wife he hasnt met isnt d definition of responsibility. Being responsible means being dependable, keeping promises and honoring our commitments. u can only be dependable and committed to what u have and not what u dont have. so when u understand what that means, then u can begin to talk of responsibility or irresponsibility. so go and look for another word to buttress your invalid and unfounded point. responsibility is taken