₦airaland Forum

i mate one girl online and i promised to marry her because I love her. Now she came visiting my place but unfortunately, she take in now am planning to go and see her parents, she told me that she has a secret to tell me, she told me that she has married before and has 3 kids for the man and was divorced. I just feel helpless and i don't know what to do at this stage. Help a brother am dying silently.

How come you didn't detect that she was married with kids? Not 1, or 2 but 3,

Everyone needs love and care.... She needs your love and care.....


You should be concerned about the kids, if they're going to be your burden or not...

itumafriday:
i mate one girl online and i promised to marry her because I love her. Now she came visiting my place but unfortunately, she take in now am planning to go and see her parents, she told me that she has a secret to tell me, she told me that she has married before and has 3 kids for the man and was divorced. I just feel helpless and i don't know what to do at this stage. Help a brother am dying silently.

breakup with her. 3 kids is too much burden for you to bear as a young man. Moreover, she is deceitful. She deliberately kept the secret and revealed it to you after she got pregnant for you. Can't you see its all a plan by her?

Oga don't be a simp...pls I beg you do not fall 4 that nonsense.
She knowingly hid that info 4rm you just so she could trap you with a pregnancy.
Why men of this days dey mumu anyhow ?
You better ask yourself why a lady with 3kids would get divorced by her husband ?
Bad character ??
Infidelity ??
Just make sure she is even pregnant sef & if she is wait till she gives birth then take ur child & give to your mum to raise 4 you.
No go carry problem keep 4 your house of yeye love...shine your eye

Don't marry her. When she born, Knack her another one join.

See this guy o. No go fall men hand out there. We go give you ogbonge orientation.

Vex for her. As in better mad vexing. Shout, break things. Make am look like say she kill somebody. No try that gentleman bullshît with bîtches. Kick her out of your house in the middle of the night and lock the door and start to dey curse her loudly until you sleep off. Don't apologise for anything ever. Punish her well well. No beat her o. Na game be this.

All na manipulation. Na so we take dey break girls.

When she born, knack her another pikin. Yeye dey smell.

She intentionally hid that fact from you, that’s too bad bro but if you love her, you can go ahead but then this children will be your burden whether you like it or not cause you won’t leave her when in problem. So can you stand by them or not!?

Marry her like that. Next time, you'll think before you do.

Check if she's actually pregnant. You entered one chance. Use ur brain joor.

mardis:
How come you didn't detect that she was married with kids? Not 1, or 2 but 3,

my dear if you see this girl eh you won't discover anything very fine girl her parents pushed her to marriage during her tender age

itumafriday:
my dear if you see this girl eh you won't discover anything very fine girl her parents pushed her to marriage during her tender age

Okay... I have seen where the problem is.. U probably did not want to disappoint a fine girl.

Apart from the fact that she is a fine girl, what made u helpless and confused now?

>>> Do U now love her less because of the news? Or
>>>Because it is going to be a burden raising another man's children?

Have you discussed with her for a way forward? I will advice you to postpone the marriage plans now until you are sure that indeed that was what U really wanted... People don't go into marriage nowadays because of pregnancy... That was in '80s....We all have mumu buttons but if u Try and remove it from default settings, u will be fine

I wonder what both of you have been discussing all this while without talking about your past relationship, or all you just do is sex, ok continue.
You are trapped nothing to do, congratulations you have babies to look after.

Whether you marry her or not, once she births successfully she becomes the mother of your first daughter/son and that ties you to her for life!

Wondering how you promised to marry someone you met online without getting to know her background to a certain extent. Didn't you ever get to visit her house unexpectedly or she was the one always going over to your place and ending up in sex?

There is nothing unfortunate about getting pregnant because pregnancy is a possible outcome of being sexually active with her. If she is truly pregnant and it is yours, gear up for fatherhood but becoming her husband is a no go area, she is deceitful.

Her 3 children shouldn't be your responsibility but their biological father's because it would be sheer foolishness to carry another man's burden while he lives carefree.

How are you even sure you're the one who impregnated her?

itumafriday:
i mate one girl online and i promised to marry her because I love her. Now she came visiting my place but unfortunately, she take in now am planning to go and see her parents, she told me that she has a secret to tell me, she told me that she has married before and has 3 kids for the man and was divorced. I just feel helpless and i don't know what to do at this stage. Help a brother am dying silently.

I hope she has something doing like a job or a business that will give her something TANGIBLE.
If No, bro, you are on a long thing,
If you marry her, you will have to cater for her 3 kids. Responsibility will make you look older than your age, the love that is driving you wild now will fly out of the window and you will continue to live in regret. I pray depression doesn't kill you by then especially in this Buhari regime.
My advice, don't marry her.
Save that money, put her on weekly upkeep or monthly till she gives birth.
Check on her once in a while, send money for baby stuffs, hospital bills and when she gives birth, sit her down and renegotiate.
Let her know you will only be sending money for your child.
If you do strong head and decide to go ahead with the marriage, na depression go finish you.

In an ideal scenerio, you only have kids with your spouse.

But we're talking reality here.

The sooner people realize that you must not marry who you impregnate or who impregnates you the less headavhe they will have.

Marriage is more than just children.

If you decide to marry her solely because she supposedly is carrying your child, you're searching for trouble for yourself

By the way, that lady decieved you. It's enough to breakup with her.

Be wise

Egungun don enter express be that.

Well,make I de one side and hear from the elders

mardis:
How come you didn't detect that she was married with kids? Not 1, or 2 but 3,

It's possible he didn't notice the line from the abdomen to the lower part.

He should just be bold and tell her he can't continue with the relationship since he had no idea she had children already. Atleast she kept it as a secret from him. Lovers aren't meant to keep secrets from each other

You don enter "one-chance".


This is a deceitful union and you will be the one to suffer.

She wants you to carry the load of the 3 kids ans in the end, they wont even recognize you as their father.


I advise you not to marry her. How could you even impregnate her so quickly?
If the child is born, do DNA test. If the child is yours then send it upkeep monthly.

☆ itumafriday

1. She is using pregnancy to trap you

2. You are making the same mistake my brother made. His life was destroyed

moriss33:
Oga don't be a simp...pls I beg you do not fall 4 that nonsense.
She knowingly hid that info 4rm you just so she could trap you with a pregnancy.
Why men of this days dey mumu anyhow ?
You better ask yourself why a lady with 3kids would get divorced by her husband ?
Bad character ??
Infidelity ??
Just make sure she is even pregnant sef & if she is wait till she gives birth then take ur child & give to your mum to raise 4 you.
No go carry problem keep 4 your house of yeye love...shine your eye

Nairaland chief justice

Are you sure you attended nairaland law school so? Because the way and manner you just dish out judgement is alarming

Any woman who got divorced now don mean say she dey cheat or had bad character Abi?

Then the men are Angels without blemish

You do well justice

mardis:
How come you didn't detect that she was married with kids? Not 1, or 2 but 3,

Uhm because she kept it a secret and the relationship was long distance?

cybersoldiers:
How are you even sure you're the one who impregnated her?

And how you take come up with this assumption guy. Didn't you read the story

itumafriday:
my dear if you see this girl eh you won't discover anything very fine girl her parents pushed her to marriage during her tender age

How would you discover anything when you allowed yourself to get carried away?

Lostchild:
☆ itumafriday

1. She is using pregnancy to trap you

2. You are making the same mistake my brother made. His life was destroyed

If you don’t mind me asking; are your stories only negative?
Have you ever had any positively happy experience?

itumafriday:
i mate one girl online and i promised to marry her because I love her. Now she came visiting my place but unfortunately, she take in now am planning to go and see her parents, she told me that she has a secret to tell me, she told me that she has married before and has 3 kids for the man and was divorced. I just feel helpless and i don't know what to do at this stage. Help a brother am dying silently.

Do you still love her and would still want to marry her?

You were so foolish but you gotta stay woke now.


Do not marry her. She's a leach.

Thank you ooo...besides no be me b NL Chief Justice oo....my power no reach like that

VTJN:
Nairaland chief justice

Are you sure you attended nairaland law school so? Because the way and manner you just dish out judgement is alarming

Any woman who got divorced now don mean say she dey cheat or had bad character Abi?

Then the men are Angels without blemish

You do well justice

mariahAngel:
If you don’t mind me asking; are your stories only negative?
Have you ever had any positively happy experience?

My friend
I am glad that you asked, and I am very honest when I say to you that, I have never know peace in my life. God has called me to live a life of battles and my life has truly been nothing but battles.

My positive experience would be that God has promised that, He will give to me a life of perpetua peace and joy.

I am not valued until I am tested; Gold is not valued until it is tested by fire

See the story - the mistake of my brother

https://www.nairaland.com/6624727/what-happened-brother

earthsync:
Uhm because she kept it a secret and the relationship was long distance?

I meant in her physical appearance, but i later read where the op said she married early so her physique is still intact

Ha! Can this story be true?.... Just claim your child...

People like you who obviously lack discernment nor have a philosophy rooted in principle guiding you always irk me. The issue here isn't the fact that she's a divorcee and has 3 kids, but the fact that you loosed-guard for a disingenuous woman who's out to destroy your life. It may surprise you to know that you aren't responsible for her said pregnancy, if at all she's. Many of her kind are plentiful everywhere, this forum inclusive.