I'm on the verge of disowning my father.
The story is long but I will cut it short.
It all began last year when I was in service, I called my father informing him of going for post graduate studies. He bought the idea and when I came back from service he gave me money to purchase the form and I did and proceeded with the application.
Due to covid 19 restrictions we wrote the entrance exam March this year. So I was offered part time post graduate admission
Bfor I was offered the admission I was working as a sch teacher and the pay was very low and during d holiday I had health issues and I was at home recuperating. During that period there was a misunderstanding between us and a family friend came to settle us, and right in front of the man, his wife and my mother, my father declared his decision to sponsor and fund my post graduate studies. He pledge to take money from his cooperative to fund it along with accommodation. I live a state away from the school. He is a pensioner receiving steady monthly pension of 200k monthly after serving in the military.
So the following month I proceeded with the screening and I started lectures immediately. He gave me 40k which I used for Dept registration, pg screening and collected my degree certificate.
The problem started early October when during the screening period I declined job offers that I applied for so as to focus on the early part of the admission.
The problem started early October when I went to discuss sch fees because exam was mid way approaching but to my dismay he tolde bluntly that he doesn't have hands in funding my Masters anymore, meaning he want to have a uturn. I was confused because he can't jus Allow me start something and abandon me Midway, leaving me hopeless, dejected and frustrated. I called our family friend to come and beg him and to also know how I offended him. He began to open up by saying he hasn't see any usefulness in my education. He narrated history of my education from secondary school, company training, few years of writing jamb, one yr polytechnic before I withdrew to university and how I studied a useless course coming out with lower grade. I asked if he didn't know all this before he agreed to sponsor but he couldn't answer so we begged him even kneeling down and he succumbed to the pressure and he promised to see what he would do.
The following day I met him to discuss about fees and accommodation, he didn't say much then on Sunday he left home and went out and came back sweating, he said he went to a church his friend invited him to meet a prophet and he came with a written prophecy report. The report highlighted every one of us in the family but I focus on my own which reported that my father should not spend money on me until he do some certain things. My intuition told me that the man forged it jus to evade his responsibility. I went to meet the man that he says took him to the church and the man denied that he never took him to any church.
At this period I was not my self because we kept on calling people to come beg him even calling his relatives but he kept on giving excuses and always on the defensive side. He called me failure, lazy levelled lots of allegation on me and manipulated his way when I reported him to people and make them to be against me
Reality later Dawn on me that this man want to ruin my education. The worst thing is that I have already started even as far as attending lectures, assigned to a project supervisor and even loosing a job offer, and he's about to ruin my plans of even working because the place I currently live with him is very remote and far from City center.
Currently I'm stranded going to two months now, he hasn't giving me any money, I borrowed money to be attending lectures and getting school expenses
This same man is sponsoring some children's education in the community, two children I'm an expensive primary school, that's just the annoying part of it all.
So now I'm about to disown him, I would make life miserable for him. He must surely pay for the frustration and depression he has put me through.
Since he depended so much on monthly pension I wish federal government should jus stop it for him
Pls I need your contribution before I forget what's on my mind
Mods help me push this to front page

Don't do that to ur blood

Legendguy:
At this period I was not my self because we kept on calling people to come beg him even calling his relatives but he kept on giving excuses and always on the defensive side. He called me failure, lazy levelled lots of allegation on me and manipulated his way when I reported him to people and make them to be against me
Reality later Dawn on me that this man want to ruin my education. The worst thing is that I have already started even as far as attending lectures, assigned to a project supervisor and even loosing a job offer, and he's about to ruin my plans of even working because the place I currently live with him is very remote and far from City center.
Currently I'm stranded going to two months now, he hasn't giving me any money, I borrowed money to be attending lectures and getting school expenses

OP, if you can stop worrying about the man, do so. Not saying you "disown" him, whatever that means, but ignore him and accept at this time that he is not of use to you and your goals.

Call on your mother and any others that you can gather help from so you can at least pick up the pieces, find a job and save up for your tuition and education that way.

Disown your father because he is no.longer interested in financing your postgraduate studies? Go ask people who their fathers are still alive but weren't even involved in their primary nor secondary school education how they roughed it through.

Your postgraduate program is even part time, so go hustle your way to earn what you would need. Defer, if you have to.

Kobojunkie:
OP, if you can stop worrying about the man, do so. Not saying you "disown" him, whatever that means, but ignore him and accept at this time that he is not of use to you and your goals.

Call on your mother and any others that you can gather help from so you can at least pick up the pieces, find a job and save up for your tuition and education that way.

Exam is starting this month, which miracle job will I get to pay fory tuition.
The school fees is 170k

Legendguy:
I'm on the verge of disowning my father.
The story is long but I will cut it short.
It all began last year when I was in service, I called my father informing him of going for post graduate studies. He bought the idea and when I came back from service he gave me money to purchase the form and I did and proceeded with the application.
Due to covid 19 restrictions we wrote the entrance exam March this year. So I was offered part time post graduate admission
Bfor I was offered the admission I was working as a sch teacher and the pay was very low and during d holiday I had health issues and I was at home recuperating. During that period there was a misunderstanding between us and a family friend came to settle us, and right in front of the man, his wife and my mother, my father declared his decision to sponsor and fund my post graduate studies. He pledge to take money from his cooperative to fund it along with accommodation. I live a state away from the school. He is a pensioner receiving steady monthly pension of 200k monthly after serving in the military.
So the following month I proceeded with the screening and I started lectures immediately. He gave me 40k which I used for Dept registration, pg screening and collected my degree certificate.
The problem started early October when during the screening period I declined job offers that I applied for so as to focus on the early part of the admission.
The problem started early October when I went to discuss sch fees because exam was mid way approaching but to my dismay he tolde bluntly that he doesn't have hands in funding my Masters anymore, meaning he want to have a uturn. I was confused because he can't jus Allow me start something and abandon me Midway, leaving me hopeless, dejected and frustrated. I called our family friend to come and beg him and to also know how I offended him. He began to open up by saying he hasn't see any usefulness in my education. He narrated history of my education from secondary school, company training, few years of writing jamb, one yr polytechnic before I withdrew to university and how I studied a useless course coming out with lower grade. I asked if he didn't know all this before he agreed to sponsor but he couldn't answer so we begged him even kneeling down and he succumbed to the pressure and he promised to see what he would do.
The following day I met him to discuss about fees and accommodation, he didn't say much then on Sunday he left home and went out and came back sweating, he said he went to a church his friend invited him to meet a prophet and he came with a written prophecy report. The report highlighted every one of us in the family but I focus on my own which reported that my father should not spend money on me until he do some certain things. My intuition told me that the man forged it jus to evade his responsibility. I went to meet the man that he says took him to the church and the man denied that he never took him to any church.
At this period I was not my self because we kept on calling people to come beg him even calling his relatives but he kept on giving excuses and always on the defensive side. He called me failure, lazy levelled lots of allegation on me and manipulated his way when I reported him to people and make them to be against me
Reality later Dawn on me that this man want to ruin my education. The worst thing is that I have already started even as far as attending lectures, assigned to a project supervisor and even loosing a job offer, and he's about to ruin my plans of even working because the place I currently live with him is very remote and far from City center.
Currently I'm stranded going to two months now, he hasn't giving me any money, I borrowed money to be attending lectures and getting school expenses
So now I'm about to disown him, I would make life miserable for him. He must surely pay for the frustration and depression he has put me through.
Pls I need your contribution before I forget what's on my mind
Mods help me push this to front page

If you were in your father's shoes, should your son for daughter disown you?

Hey... Stop feeling entitled. Your dad owes you nothing bro.

Just take that as a challenge, defer your admission for a session, pick up a job, save, go back to school when you are ready.

Be a man. (It's not a day's job)

Good luck in your endeavors

Bros u don't understand yourself.

u were turning down job offers cause u saw free easy money.

lol u funny, guy try fund ur matter if u disown am wetin he go loose small

Legendguy:

Exam is starting this month, which miracle job will I get to pay fory tuition.
The school fees is 170k

If you can't do anything about it , it simply means you can't do anything about it.

Indeed it is a very painful thing for someone like that to break his promise in the way he did but rather than dwell, it is best you seek other solutions and try to move on instead.

And hopefully you can maybe find a job in time so you can get your mind off this disappointment soonest too.

Legendguy:
I'm on the verge of disowning my father.
The story is long but I will cut it short.
It all began last year when I was in service, I called my father informing him of going for post graduate studies. He bought the idea and when I came back from service he gave me money to purchase the form and I did and proceeded with the application.
Due to covid 19 restrictions we wrote the entrance exam March this year. So I was offered part time post graduate admission
Bfor I was offered the admission I was working as a sch teacher and the pay was very low and during d holiday I had health issues and I was at home recuperating. During that period there was a misunderstanding between us and a family friend came to settle us, and right in front of the man, his wife and my mother, my father declared his decision to sponsor and fund my post graduate studies. He pledge to take money from his cooperative to fund it along with accommodation. I live a state away from the school. He is a pensioner receiving steady monthly pension of 200k monthly after serving in the military.
So the following month I proceeded with the screening and I started lectures immediately. He gave me 40k which I used for Dept registration, pg screening and collected my degree certificate.
The problem started early October when during the screening period I declined job offers that I applied for so as to focus on the early part of the admission.
The problem started early October when I went to discuss sch fees because exam was mid way approaching but to my dismay he tolde bluntly that he doesn't have hands in funding my Masters anymore, meaning he want to have a uturn. I was confused because he can't jus Allow me start something and abandon me Midway, leaving me hopeless, dejected and frustrated. I called our family friend to come and beg him and to also know how I offended him. He began to open up by saying he hasn't see any usefulness in my education. He narrated history of my education from secondary school, company training, few years of writing jamb, one yr polytechnic before I withdrew to university and how I studied a useless course coming out with lower grade. I asked if he didn't know all this before he agreed to sponsor but he couldn't answer so we begged him even kneeling down and he succumbed to the pressure and he promised to see what he would do.
The following day I met him to discuss about fees and accommodation, he didn't say much then on Sunday he left home and went out and came back sweating, he said he went to a church his friend invited him to meet a prophet and he came with a written prophecy report. The report highlighted every one of us in the family but I focus on my own which reported that my father should not spend money on me until he do some certain things. My intuition told me that the man forged it jus to evade his responsibility. I went to meet the man that he says took him to the church and the man denied that he never took him to any church.
At this period I was not my self because we kept on calling people to come beg him even calling his relatives but he kept on giving excuses and always on the defensive side. He called me failure, lazy levelled lots of allegation on me and manipulated his way when I reported him to people and make them to be against me
Reality later Dawn on me that this man want to ruin my education. The worst thing is that I have already started even as far as attending lectures, assigned to a project supervisor and even loosing a job offer, and he's about to ruin my plans of even working because the place I currently live with him is very remote and far from City center.
Currently I'm stranded going to two months now, he hasn't giving me any money, I borrowed money to be attending lectures and getting school expenses
So now I'm about to disown him, I would make life miserable for him. He must surely pay for the frustration and depression he has put me through.
Pls I need your contribution before I forget what's on my mind
Mods help me push this to front page

You've not told us what you've been doing that made the poor man have a change of mind as per sponsoring your education.


It's possible you've not been useful to him except going to him and be demanding for money in a rude manner

greenie77:
Disown your father because he is no.longer interested in financing your postgraduate studies? Go ask people who their fathers are still alive but weren't even involved in their primary nor secondary school education.

My plan was not for him to fund it considering critical nature and my past experience with him
Infact when I got the admission I wanted to decline it because I want to fund it myself and I wasn't in a good position to do that at that moment because I wasn't financially enabled.
I wanted to buy another pg form and get a good job to fund in preparation for next yr admission.
But it was my mom that compelled and coarse me to meet him.
I told my mum that this man is not capable of funding this program considering my previous experience with him.
I succumbed to her advice and with family friends present that day he made a decision to fund it

I never forced him made it a compulsion for him to do it
He was the one that told them that he wanted me to do my masters

federal9:


If you were in your father's shoes, should your son for daughter disown you?

I wouldn't be in my father's shoes at the first place. We are two different people with different attitude to life

Legendguy:

My plan was not for him to fund it considering critical nature and my past experience with him
Infact when I got the admission I wanted to decline it because I want to fund it myself and I wasn't in a good position to do that at that moment because I wasn't financially enabled.
I wanted to buy another pg form and get a good job to fund in preparation for next yr admission.
But it was my mom that compelled and coarse me to meet him.
I told my mum that this man is not capable of funding this program considering my previous experience with him.
I succumbed to her advice and with family friends present that day he made a decision to fund it

I never forced him made it a compulsion for him to do it
He was the one that told them that he wanted me to do my masters

Reality is that, he has pulled out. So you have to get something doing to support yourself through school as your program is part-time.

Legendguy:

My plan was not for him to fund it considering critical nature and my past experience with him
Infact when I got the admission I wanted to decline it because I want to fund it myself and I wasn't in a good position to do that at that moment because I wasn't financially enabled.
I wanted to buy another pg form and get a good job to fund in preparation for next yr admission.
But it was my mom that compelled and coarse me to meet him.
I told my mum that this man is not capable of funding this program considering my previous experience with him.
I succumbed to her advice and with family friends present that day he made a decision to fund it

I never forced him made it a compulsion for him to do it
He was the one that told them that he wanted me to do my masters

You are not wrong for expecting him to do what he ought to as a parent. So no need to even defend yourself in that.

Disowning him for turning out a disappointment to you in this is a bit too much also since you are forever linked by DNA. By the way, Parents who disown their kids are fools.... so you don't want to join the ranks of such imbeciles to begin with.

Just try to move on from this, making sure to process all the lessons life has for you to learn through this experience.

justified007:





You've not told us what you've been doing that made the poor man have a change of mind as per sponsoring your education.


It's possible you've not been useful to him except going to him and be demanding for money in a rude manner

I never did ant thing to warrant this Mal treatment from him.
I don't ask him for money nor material things that much. If I ask him for anything and he's not willing to offer me I rest my case.
Those excuses I narrated is what's he is standing on as the reason and nothing else

Change your mindset about life. Your father money is not your money. You need to think inward and move with your life. He paid for your undergraduate, but he declined to fund masters . Wake up from your slumber

samtol4:
Change your mindset about life. Your father money is not your money. You need to think inward and move with your life. He paid for your undergraduate, but he declined to fund masters . Wake up from your slumber

After he has already promised to do so of which I didn't pressure him.
He made it clear that he wanted me to do my masters

Legendguy:

I wouldn't be in my father's shoes at the first place. We are two different people with different attitude to life

Your father is a great man for seeing you through this far.

You're just an ungrateful entitled spoilt brat who thinks his father's pension should be handed over to him.

Legendguy:

Due to covid 19 restrictions we wrote the entrance exam March this year. So I was offered part time post graduate admission
Bfor I was offered the admission I was working

You shouldn't have turned down a job offer for a part-time postgraduate study because in most schools, timetable is flexible enough to accommodate working students. Also, don't blame your dad too much because the frustrations of training children in school in his old age is also getting to him. You never can tell also- his pension may not be as regular as you think...this is Nigeria! Besides, who will pay the cooperative loan for him? He's probably weighing his options or the loan may not be forthcoming! Sometimes we need to pity these elderly people who still have dependent relatives in their old age, especially with no free or subsidized medicals!

My take: Hard as it may sound, you need to get anything doing to sponsor yourself while you keep working on your dad, because dropping out is not a good option at this stage and disowning him is childish and selfish until you walk in his shoes.

Legendguy:

After he has already promised to do so of which I didn't pressure him.
He made it clear that he wanted me to do my masters

Defer and go earn to continue at a later date. Nothing posted here will make your father continue sponsoring you from his monthly pension. Nothing is guaranteed in life, some people who have unfortunately lost their sponsors to death had to find a way to forge ahead.

It's obvious he doesn't want to sponsor you again, but hey let me advise you, go to him with a paper and tell him that a prophet met you on the road and said unpalatable things will happen to your Father if he wants to back out from sponsoring you. Just kidding

The heart of the kings is in God's hands, pray that God should touch his heart. You know, what God can not dos does not exist.

Mariangeles:


Your father is a great man for seeing you through this far.

You're just an ungrateful entitled spoilt brat who thinks his father's pension should be handed over to him.

Your are jus talking what you don't know.
Do you know I was a joint sponsor of my undergraduate with him.
So don't say what you don't know

greenie77:


Defer and go earn to continue at a later date. Nothing posted here will make your father continue sponsoring you from his monthly pension.

thanks for this but he didnt intended to fully fund it directly from his pension. he belong to a cooperative and said he eill take a loan from his cooperative

Legendguy:

After he had already promised to do so, of which I didn't pressure him.
He made it clear that he wanted me to do my masters

You need to wake up my brother. Thank God you have a father that pays for your undergraduate. My father coulddd not pay for my undergraduate because he had a severe illness, but that did not stop me from finishing my bsc. I completed my BSC and Masters through the grace of God and hustling because my parents could not help me. Today through his grace, I completed my Ph.D. Even if someone promised you money, it is not your money; it is a promise. Wake up from slumber; it appears you are angry and bitter against your father. The fact that You are thinking about disowning your father shows you don't understand life. People are struggling on their own to have OND.
You need to look inward and stop blaming your father for your limitation. A man limitation is the limitation of his thoughts

Legendguy:

thanks for this but he didnt intended to fully fund it directly from his pension. he belong to a cooperative and said he eill take a loan from his cooperative

What if the loan was no longer feasible? Redirect your energy from being angry with your father and focus on seeing yourself through school. Baba has tried, at his age he needs the pension money more than you do whether he promised you or not.

From your narration, you were the one who called your father during your service and informed him of wanting to go for post graduate studies and he bought the idea. It is not as if you were into a high paying job and he told you to resign and focus on postgraduate studies.

You need to wake up my brother. Thank God you have a father that pays for your undergraduate. My father could not pay for my undergraduate because he had a severe illness, but that did not stop me from finishing my bsc. I completed my BSC and Masters through the grace of God and hustling because my parents could not help me. I have worked as a bricklayer , waiter & sale boy at night at Ojuelegba .Today through his grace, I completed my Ph.D. Even if someone promised you money, it is not your money; it is a promise. Wake up from slumber; it appears you are angry and bitter against your father. The fact that You are thinking about disowning your father shows you don't understand life. People are struggling on their own to have OND.
You need to look inward and stop blaming your father for your limitation. A man limitation is the limitation of his thoughts
Go and hustle bros

Whyzaid:
It's obvious he doesn't want to sponsor you again, but hey let me advise you, go to him with a paper and tell him that a prophet met you on the road and said unpalatable things will happen to your Father if he wants to back out from sponsoring you. Just kidding

The heart of the kings is in God's hands, pray that God should touch his heart. You know, what God can not dos does not exist.

His father money is not his money .let him go hustle

Your dad doesn't owe you a master's degree. Immediately, he said he wasn't going to sponsor you, I take it you didn't have one on one conversation with him about it. He should have kept to his promise but there is no crime withdrawing his obligation which he did before you started your programme.

Also, it sounds like there are unresolved issues between you and your dad.

Op, believe me…. That man has done everything for you already. Allow the old man live his life and go find how to live yours. Some of us, na waec our pay stop for us, we learnt handwork and became what we are today. Allow that old man rest abeg.

Wahala be like disown..lol! Biko, u acting like an ingrate in my own view. A man sponsored ur education till u own a Bsc, even after wastin sm precious time and resources 4 ND programme which u had 2 abandone 2 port in2 Uni, this same man has been d one tkin care of it, and u felt he hasn't done enough in ur life. Lot are out there who has fathers who lack d ability or nonchalant attitude 2 sponsor their education, but here u are lamenting and threatening 2 disown ur father over ur baggages. From ur narration, u graduated with an unencouraging result, yet u expect him (ur father) 2 be motivated in sponsoring u further.
Uncle, defer ur admission nd go hustle, then use ur own resources (money) 2 sponsor urself since u wish 2 further ur edu, that's what niggas do. U are old enough not 2 be dependent on ur parent.
NYSC was been mandated after completion of Bsc/HND programme 4 a reason, and not after PGD or Msc. So any1 who had attain such level has done well 2 sm level of extent, others could be sync along ones career.
Stop feeling entitled at ur age nd start acting as a man u are. When u need something, u go 4 it, instead of depending on others 4 it. D man (ur father) should be preparing eating d fruit of his labour, nd not still nursing his labour. U are not even ashame, a retiree 4 that matter. U don't want him 2 be enjoying his pension in peace after years of service, u still want 2 compete d spending with him when u should be augmenting it 4 him.
As d Yoruba would say, apology 2 non-Yoruba, 'Ta bani eegun baaba eni majo, ta ba tun ni kojo mo, ko si baba nla Baba eni to ma muni si' (Direct translation: If one say, ones father masquerade is going to dance, and later one say, d masquerade would no longer dance, no one's forefather would dare 2 challenge one's over it) i.e. 2 say, if ur P-Man has a change of mind over sponsoring u, u or any1 has no right 2 challenge his decision. His money, his spending.#TruthIsBitter!