Edited: highlighted sentences

So, a distant relative of mine was brought from the village to come live in my house, about 17, 18 or so, ever since she came I have been noticing some things.

Some street boys who have never greeted me before have started to greet me even from far, they offer their unsolicited help, like directing traffic on the street when I’m driving out. A particular boy stares at me like he can’t wait for me to go out every morning.

When I first noticed the connection was one evening I came home a little earlier, parked outside and was rushing to get some documents, I ran into her with some neighbour’s son in my staircase standing in front of each other, later that evening after I reprimanded her, she narrated that the boy came upstairs to inform us that he had returned our wheel barrow but no one was at home and on his way out they bumped into each other in the fairly dark staircase while she was returning from the market, I knew she was lying because this a girl that wouldn’t confess to guilt even at gun point but that’s story for another day. And yea every chance she gets she also dishes out too much of my food to male visitors and serve them drinks I chilled for myself, lastly she is in the habit of wearing tight fitting clothes. I seized her trousers and shorts, in fact I don’t allow that in the house, but she will cut her long skirts into mini skirts and also cut the sides and lie about doing that.

To cut the story short, I just don’t understand what these guys see in her, I don’t know why they find her so attractive, though she may have kind of oversized backside for her age and narrow hips, but that’s rubbish, she’s just a little girl and I still have memories of her growing up like it was yesterday, I guess she is all grown now and it sickens me to imagine her doing the unimaginable in my house.

Sincerely, I don’t know what to do, wether to send her back to the villa, she can work alright, she’s very protective of my family and properties too, she tells us the latest dramas, who’s not talking to who and why, all kinds of gossips around the neighbourhood, once in my presence she even told dss officers jaw dropping lies to discharge them when they came because electricity was illegally tapped from high tension and we got petitioned against. But, in all these “good outlook” or advantages of having her, the look in her eyes is unsettling, who knows what she would be capable of tomorrow, how she commands men’s attention can bring insecurity to my home, part of me even tells me that it’s too late to send her back because she don open eyes well well or could elope with some boy if she suspects anything, I don’t know if anyone can relate but I need some suggestion, family people only!

Hmm...ants do get attracted to accessible sugar.

Send your cousin/ househelp back to her parents' home and assist her from there with learning a vocational skill (assuming she has finished secondary school).

You can then employ a woman who goes back to her own house everyday to assist you with the house keeping.

If you are that concern just return her.

Hmmm. She’s very smart and probably smarter than you guys. For her to know everything happening in the area and also discard Dss. Use your discretion. Bele Dey close or hoe in the making

Oga say he notice the OVERSIZED backside and narrow waist....

Please Op, post her picture and your house address... we want to confirm something

artimisfowler:
So, a distant relative of mine was brought from the village to come live in my house, about 17, 18 or so, ever since she came I have been noticing some things.

Some street boys who have never greeted me before have started to greet me even from far, they offer their unsolicited help, like directing traffic on the street when I’m driving out. A particular boy stares at me like he can’t wait for me to go out every morning.

When I first noticed the connection was one evening I came home a little earlier, parked outside and was rushing to get some documents, I ran into her with some neighbour’s son in my staircase standing in front of each other, later that evening after I gave her a dirty slap in five sec. she narrated that the boy came upstairs to inform us that he had returned our wheel barrow but no one was at home and on his way out they bumped into each other in the fairly dark staircase while she was returning from the market, I knew she was lying because this a girl that wouldn’t confess to guilt even at gun point, she has a 1st class in lying but that’s story for another day. And yea every chance she gets she also dishing out too much of my food for male visitors particularly and serve them drinks I chilled for myself, lastly she is in the habit of wearing tight fitting clothes. I seized her trousers and shorts, in fact I don’t allow that in my house, but she will cut her long skirts into mini skirts and also cut the sides and lie about doing that.

So an 18-year old gal, who's pretty much of legal age should not have a life because you have conveniently convinced yourself that she is nothing but a slave for you to slap around as you please?

Because she is from the village, she doesn't deserve to be treated as your equal as far as rights to life and choice is concerned?

Since it is obvious that you see her as nothing but a subhuman as far as you are concerned, send her back to her folks so she can pursue whatever life there is for her with her freedom and dignity as a human being intact.

Draw those guys close but maintain adult boundaries . Invite them over for drinks with the young lady in attendance so that you can get to know them better.
If you keep being on the edge and looking at her like a wayward person those her guys will start seeing you as a threat and any day they plan to fall you, na small thing.
Remember that the best way to keep something safe is to give it to the thief to safe keep for you.

Those miscreants on the street are very useful. You never know when you or anyone you know may be in danger and you will need their intervention.

Please send her back to her father’s house before street boys corrupt her and lure her to commit crime. No be by force to get house help.

Floryangel8:
Hmmm. She’s very smart and probably smarter than you guys. For her to know everything happening in the area and also discard Dss. Use your discretion. Bele Dey close or hoe in the making

Come @floryangel or whatever If you didn’t have a reasonable input, you should have just kept shut. How can someone be adorned smarter than another because they leave their house chores/responsibilities to give themselves into gossips and telltales. When I say “she knows everything happening around, it’s not a compliment, when you know about who fought with who but you don’t know how to speak, sit, table manners or public etiquette even after repeated corrections, that makes you smart?

And I didn’t say “discard” I said “discharge”, I don’t blame you, we’re on a faceless platform where illiterates and mad people can address anyone.

Did you consult your brain before commenting here? I made it clear that I wanted input from responsible family people here and you don’t sound like one so keep off.

It's normal for guys to notice the new girl in the hood.

Give it time, it will all pass.

It's teenager's hormones playing out.

If u can't over look it, send her back.

But then again, if she was your daughter,they would av thrend with caution.

Kobojunkie:
So an 18-year old gal, who's pretty much of legal age should not have a life because you have conveniently convinced yourself that she is nothing but a slave for you to slap around as you please?

Because she is from the village, she doesn't deserve to be treated as your equal as far as rights to life and choice is concerned?

Since it is obvious that you see her as nothing but a subhuman as far as you are concerned, send her back to her folks so she can pursue whatever life there is for her with her freedom and dignity as a human being intact.

So she should exhibit her promiscuous behaviour under his roof?

Op, return her back to the village before you have headache that doesn't have a cure.

advanceDNA:
Oga say he notice the OVERSIZED backside and narrow waist....

Please Op, post her picture and your house address... we want to confirm something

Be catching cruise with someone’s cousin e fit be yours tomorrow and hope sey you go post her photo and address?

Our intuition is always correct....do not ignore it biko. Good luck.

Romanoff:
So she should exhibit her promiscuous behaviour under his roof?

Op, return her back to the village before you have headache that doesn't have a cure.

If he cannot handle her and her "promiscuous" behavior, he should send her back rather than impose himself on her as if she were his slave and property.

NovesaTillie:
Draw those guys close but maintain adult boundaries . Invite them over for drinks with the young lady in attendance so that you can get to know them better.
If you keep being on the edge and looking at her like a wayward person those her guys will start seeing you as a threat and any day they plan to fall you, na small thing.
Remember that the best way to keep something safe is to give it to the thief to safe keep for you.

Those miscreants on the street are very useful. You never know when you or anyone you know may be in danger and you will need their intervention.

Yes yes! You have a very good point, I would seriously put this into advisement.

You need to focus your energy on her lying habit. It's too bad of her to be too perfect at lying at that age. Also, it's normal for to be attractive to guys at her age especially if she's the wants of males. Your daughter, if you had any, is gonna get to her stage also and you'd be protective of her just like this.

I'd urge you to look past the memory of her childhood that you have in your head and treat her like an adult. She's no more a kid. If you're used to beating her, kindly stop that (I said so because you said you slapped her).

Sit her down and explain life to her. You said she do gist with you and your household, which means you've given her some sense of belonging in your family. Talk to her like you would do to your sister or daughter. Advise her. You have good intentions for her, but don't do it wrongly because you'd just end up seeing her with unwanted pregnancy.

I wish you well.

Kobojunkie:
So an 18-year old gal, who's pretty much of legal age should not have a life because you have conveniently convinced yourself that she is nothing but a slave for you to slap around as you please?

Because she is from the village, she doesn't deserve to be treated as your equal as far as rights to life and choice is concerned?

Since it is obvious that you see her as nothing but a subhuman as far as you are concerned, send her back to her folks so she can pursue whatever life there is for her with her freedom and dignity as a human being intact.

Imagine! Someone that was handed over to me as trusted guardian and relative for that matter, or you think you know better than the person than the person who handed her over before passing away? You should get a dog, feed and train it, so that you’ll start getting used the concept of responsibility. E be you like rice and stew!

Even if she is 20, I can still apportion commensurate discipline as long as she is under my roof. What are you even saying? Someone that’s under me and I take care of, I don’t have the right to reprimand her? and when did I ever indicate that I degrade her or anything? Someone from villa can be a Professor tomorrow but not with certain behaviours, and those needs to be addressed. Even if it’s your kid sis you’ll do more than slap her If you were in my position, I know. We just criticise people online as if we’re better people in real life. Pretend all you want, you’ll probably be in that position tomorrow, God will be watching you.

I just don’t understand what these guys see in her, she’s not a very attractive girl, though she may have kind of oversized backside for her age and narrow hips, but that’s rubbish, she’s just a little girl and I still have memories of her when she’d weewee on herself and cry with running nose whenever we traveled to the village in Christmas, it all seems like yesterday

I smell envy and jealousy, women don't like themselves, if she's eighteen it is meant to happen, all you can do is give her a friendly advice constantly, that kind age dey sweet, stop acting like you are competing with her afterall she's not your maid or househelp per say, she more like your relative who has come to stay with you. Once she becomes your friend you tell you things you never imagined, they you will get to know who she really is.

You said it yourself that she is hard working, the best you can do is to be her friend perhaps a mother figure.

Send her back asap before she gets pregnant for someone.
Na from clap dance dey start!

NovesaTillie:
Draw those guys close but maintain adult boundaries . Invite them over for drinks with the young lady in attendance so that you can get to know them better.
If you keep being on the edge and looking at her like a wayward person those her guys will start seeing you as a threat and any day they plan to fall you, na small thing.
Remember that the best way to keep something safe is to give it to the thief to safe keep for you.

Those miscreants on the street are very useful. You never know when you or anyone you know may be in danger and you will need their intervention.

Lol

Your suggestion is wrong. Him having drinks with those guys will not bring him enough respect. He's got nothing to do with them. He only have business with the girl. And no, a thief keeping something for you can run away with it or even return it back to you in half.

Yes, the boys are useful in some cases but that doesn't mean he should bring himself so low by having drinks with them because he is "scared" of his girl being used by them. I have guys like that in my street and I don't sit with them over drinks, but they respect me because I drop tips for them occasionally.

artimisfowler:
1. Imagine someone that was handed over to me as trusted guardian and relative for that matter, even if she is 20, what are you even saying? Someone that’s under me and I take care of, and when did I ever indicate that I degraded her or anything? Someone from villa can be a Professor tomorrow but not with certain behaviours, and those needs to be addressed.
2. Even if it’s your kid sis you’ll do more than slap I were in my position, I know. We just criticise other online as if we’re better people in real life.

1. Once a person becomes an adult, that legal word "guardian" looses it's usefulness, this provided the adult is also of sound mind.

2. I wouldn’t slap my child, let alone my adult child, no matter what the situation. Children, and also adults deserve to be equally respected and their choices considered.

If you are not able to see this woman for at least the adult she is, and approach her as you would any other adult out there, send her back. If you need a maid, kindly enroll the services of a professional maid service where you are obligated by contract to treat the maid with respect instead.

By beating her, you're only telling her to be smarter. Please try having a conversation with her. Get to know her. The fact that she gives you the latest gists in the neighborhood means that she's willing to talk. You don't have a problem at all. Some of her mates are on campus having sex, cohabiting with guys, etc. without the knowledge of their parents. This is the reality I witnessed more than 10 years back. This is 2021, it will only get worse!

So it's really not about her but the society. She's a product of the society she currently lives so she's likely to act the societal way. You have to first admit that she's not necessarily evil or stubborn. Guide her the right way and all will be well.

Kobojunkie:
So an 18-year old gal, who's pretty much of legal age should not have a life because you have conveniently convinced yourself that she is nothing but a slave for you to slap around as you please?

Because she is from the village, she doesn't deserve to be treated as your equal as far as rights to life and choice is concerned?

Since it is obvious that you see her as nothing but a subhuman as far as you are concerned, send her back to her folks so she can pursue whatever life there is for her with her freedom and dignity as a human being intact.

Kobojunkie, when you have an 18 year old relative living with you, feel free to allow her play with all the ragamuffins in the neighborhood and even invite them for sleepovers. She can even give them some of your property since she is exercising her freedom and dignity, but leave the op to curtail her excesses the best way he can come come up with.

Kobojunkie:
1. Once a person becomes an adult, that legal word "guardian" looses it's usefulness, this provided the adult is also of sound mind.

2. I wouldn’t slap my child, let alone my adult child, no matter what the situation. Children, and also adults deserve to be equally respected and their choices considered.

If you are not able to see this woman for at least the adult she is, and approach her as you would any other adult out there, send her back. If you need a maid, kindly enroll the services of a professional maid service where you are obligated by contract to treat the maid with respect instead.

Smh. You remind me a little bit of mamagee...and Tpia.

It's a new dispensation under ur roof.

Ishilove:

Smh. You remind me a little bit of mamagee...and Tpia.

Tpia, the ID, I remember from back in the days.

Foodqueen:
It's normal for guys to notice the new girl in the hood.

Give it time, it will all pass.

It's teenager's hormones playing out.

If u can't over look it, send her back.

But then again, if she was your daughter,they would av thrend with caution.

[img]https://media./images/db10d3f0e109e0868fcc817897e457ac/tenor.gif[/img]

Op, RETURN TO SENDER. I repeat, RETURN TO SENDER!!

Real life is very different from theories and conjectures because when shït hits the fan, you will bear the consequences of her actions because she was entrusted in your care. Even if she were my sister, as long as my parents are alive, hale and hearty, I'll kick her oversized behind back to them because the last thing I want in my life is drama.

She is attracting the wrong kind of attention, frolicking with boys and may just one day invite the wrong kind over who may just invade your home and turn it upside down. Return to sender!

Kobojunkie:
Tpia, the ID, I remember from back in the days.

Yes, a woman whose posts are often very strange

Ishilove:

Kobojunkie, when you have an 18 year old relative living with you, feel free to allow her play with all the ragamuffins in the neighborhood and even invite them for sleepovers. She can even give them some of your property since she is exercising her freedom and dignity, but leave the op to curtail her excesses the best way he can come come up with.

You folks like to be overly dramatic especially where it concerns that which you don't understand.

Again, if you can't handle your 18-year old relative, send him or her back to her folks.

Kobojunkie:
1. Once a person becomes an adult, that legal word "guardian" looses it's usefulness, this provided the adult is also of sound mind.

2. I wouldn’t slap my child, let alone my adult child, no matter what the situation. Children, and also adults deserve to be equally respected and their choices considered.

If you are not able to see this woman for at least the adult she is, and approach her as you would any other adult out there, send her back. If you need a maid, kindly enroll the services of a professional maid service where you are obligated by contract to treat the maid with respect instead.

I no think say this one dey Nigeria