₦airaland Forum

Nonexisting:
He no even pity you say you dey toil under the sun, he still want mek you come his church waste your money on tithe. Like say you dey Owerri, I for come collect that paper use am roll my morning weed tomorrow. All the jehovah Witnesses in my area don know me now. If they send men to my house, I don't open my gate and if they send women, I go straight to asking them for pussy. I'm like a boil in their scrotum now. Ndi ara.

Na wa ooo
Little wonder, you non-existing

Nonexisting:
He no even pity you say you dey toil under the sun, he still want mek you come his church waste your money on tithe. Like say you dey Owerri, I for come collect that paper use am roll my morning weed tomorrow. All the jehovah Witnesses in my area don know me now. If they send men to my house, I don't open my gate and if they send women, I go straight to asking them for pussy. I'm like a boil in their scrotum now. Ndi ara.

bros you bad oo

olaniyiYAH:
Please cherish the words in that paper it's will prosper your way

It will prosper her how?

ahnie:
I just responded.

I just responded too

Simeonjoe1:
Yeah ogaga.. I always picture how funny the guy is in my head

That's ogaga and my son chisom

simplesearch:
Sister, if only you know what eternity holds for you. You won't even consider stealing God's time on your personal business. Heaven is for the courageous not for cowards, I pray God will open your eye to see what he's preparing for you!
Funny enough, is it not because you're healthy that makes you act or think this way. Go and see those with bundles of money who only want their health back at any cost. If you're in doubt ask Dangote who couldn't but watch his brother die, even with all the money at his disposal. Money is good, but it is just not the most important thing in life.

Heaven is for the courageous? So how much courage have you garnered since you started on your journey?

What about the many poor who remain so because they are missing those bundles of money and can't afford the surgery or medication they need to get their health back?

Kobojunkie:
Heaven is for the courageous? So how much courage have you garnered since you started on your journey?

What about the many poor who remain so because they are missing those bundles of money and can't afford the surgery or medication they need to get their health back?

h ah ahahaha hahahaha
Kobojunkie on steroids.
You just made me chuckle.
All these religious fanatics are something else

Lol Africa

ahnie:
I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

You are so real. GOD BLESS YOUR HUSTLE.

ahnie:
Chai comrade you're on point.
The queues is bae,the customers de over humble themselves on Sundays.

The ones we dey car go come down begging you frantically to sell to them, them go even dash you the change joinam,if you come be fyne girl and good looking them go try to impress you.
Lolz

Sunday akara hits differently.
Na Sundays my favourite nwaanyi akara dey put extra onions

u da crase ni lol, i was carried away, may Almighty be your strenth

Mariangeles:
Sunday akara hits differently.
Na Sundays my favourite nwaanyi akara dey put extra onions

Chai.... nwanyiobioma you have said it all, especially eaten with creamy pap and liquid milk.

Manage this pics....from the stables of mama zino
It's our work...why sha we shy?

For your Isoko mind ehhhh your narrative got me laughing. Wa do!!!

ahnie:
Chai.... nwanyiobioma you have said it all, especially eaten with creamy pap and liquid milk.

Manage this pics....from the stables of mama zino
It's our work...why sha we shy?

Creamy!

Hehehehehehehehehehehehe

What a sweet woman.

mAh run go church,m late for my usual Wednesdays program.

Thank you all for the compliments and criticism.



Kisses.
N/b....I have a diary on diaryland you can follow up on my diary and see my worwor face

Mariaangeles pls share my diary link...I don't know how to share the links.

Ahnie, but you give am headbutt or not?

Lols , church and their funny stuff

chatinent:
Ahnie, but you give am headbutt or not?

No....I no givam the dollar no make me reason well.

ahnie:
I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

In all these I only have one prayer for you.
May God prosper your business.
Write today's date down, you akarapreneurship business will turn to a big eatery and snacks entreprise that will compete with the likes of KFC and top eateries.

Amen in Jesus name.

Thanks for being proud of what you do.

no be small heavenly currency o

This one funny o, no worry When u reach heaven, u go spend am

Mom007:
Pride will not kill some people. They let pride belittle the message they are bearing. I hate seeing car owners sit inside their car and be giving orders. You now want to preach Christ to someone, you balance in your car for the person to be running to and fro thinking you want to give them money... Now whatever message that flier contained is belittled and lost on the receiver. I give up on these so called ministers of Christ!

He bought akara from O.P, he only used the opportunity to give O.P that dollar-like flyer.
In that scenario, I felt he did that as he was in a hurry and didn't want to distract O.P from business...

ahnie:
I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

"The story sweat but I am more interested in your creative writing skill, that's one visible talent that could take you far in life". - Village People Spokesperson.

ahnie:
I love legit money

Put an inside bible leave an for Bros J

thebosstrevor1:
This is funny to read.

I almost fell off the chair with laughter .

I guess mallams can help you change that heavenly currency but i don't know the exchange rate

It's 50Kobo in the parallel market, but na slap be the exchange rate for abokis hand..

Maybe one heavenly bill for 2 hot slaps ;
D

thebosstrevor1:
This is funny to read.

I almost fell off the chair with laughter .

I guess mallams can help you change that heavenly currency but i don't know the exchange rate

ahnie:
I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

Very very funny.

lalasticlala:
Ahnie!! You and your funny stories enhhh.

Snake lover. Just wanna know, How do you sleep at night?

You don calculate wetin you go use the money do but immediately the money was brought out BOOM!!! E shock you!!

ahnie:
I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

I like how you dey proud of your hustle my sister.
You no dey form.
And you dey down to earth.




God go reward your hustle!

Comedy gold