I was hustling in my roadside conglomerate jejely on sunday when this sleek GLK Ash colour pulled by and a very clean good looking chocolatey man wound down the glass and politely signal me to come.

I'm always in my best behaviour whenever I m attending to my customers, even to some of my frustrated customers.
My phonetics go change like say na Britain dem born me, but na packaging, market gimmicks.

So I went to him, curtsey and greeted him. He placed his orders, then I calculated the total for him and he asked if I accept transfer.

I told him yes, called out my bank details to him, minutes later I got confirmation on my account.

I proceeded and packaged all he ordered for, I handled the purchases to him, bid him bye and returned back to my conglomerate

Okay for the records...I m an akarapreneur, if the English is too big for you to comprehend.... I dey fry akara for roadside na wey dey pay my bills. You gerriit?

I thought he had driven away...he called me back again, as a good Isoko woman, I went back to meet him smiling sheepishly.

From his personality I could tell...say na pastor he be or amongst the committee of sherikokos (deacon).

He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you, God would prosper your business.

I said amen, in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill, I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.

Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.

E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that, what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Funny thing was...he had about 5 heavenly currencies with him, he had wanted giving me the 5 p6, but the sister seated at the front seat told him to give me only one.

I was even dissing her in my Isoko mind, for wanting to pour sand inside my garri, I nor know say she was just been a SIMPle lady saving me from the impending shock.

Sis, may God bless you abundantly.
Shey una see my life?

As for those that would bash me for not going to church on Sunday...Newsflash...I don't give a rat scrotum, so save your strength.
I no come beg you for food, leave me for Jesus let him judge me.

If I come beg you money, you nor go give me
So allow me use wetin I get, to get wetin I want.

This is funny to read.

I almost fell off the chair with laughter .

I guess mallams can help you change that heavenly currency but i don't know the exchange rate

E be like money true true.

Was impressed with your Hustle.
Keep it up.

Mariangeles:
E be like money true true.

Swear, i for don reach aboki before i recog. say no be dollar bill

aunty ahnie you just make me fal from bed

god will uplift you! You shall be a blessing

¤heavenly currency indeed. Better save it for your heavenly expenses lol¤

Eyahhhhh . This my isoko sister just too funny abeg

But na wa oh........Like seriously,no sensible person will bash you for not going to church . Just imagine am na . But come to think of it,but that money resemble wetin dem julius caesar use back then during DC

Lol...u suppose don feel am immediately him give you cos Dollar no wide like dat paper atal.

Mariangeles:
E be like money true true.

Abeg come collect ham...I nor needam.

Candidlady:




Swear, i for don reach aboki before i recog. say no be dollar bill

aunty ahnie you just make me fal from bed

god will uplift you! You shall be a blessing

¤heavenly currency indeed. Better save it for your heavenly expenses lol¤

Babygirl, how are you?

Compliments of the season.

You too like money madam

Smh

devilmaycry:
You too like money madam

I love legit money

Mariangeles:


Babygirl, how are you?

Compliments of the season.

am fine thank you. Just that the sun here feels like it is warming us up for hell


Compliment of the season to you too. Keep my rice and turkey for christmas

As simple as abc. Try to go to any church,dress best and if the offering or freewill makes you to stand up,and drop at offering basket, pls and pls make sure everyone sees you with it and drop it politely into the offering box. Okay.
Pls

I'm dead

Hehehe what a flyer alot of people take the other way whenever they sight preachers sharing flyers from afar. With this, they can be sure that everybody would want to sharpally collect & pocket it, maybe even disguise to collect more dollar bills lmaooo. Too much sense will not kill the brain behind it God bless the work of your hands, ahnie.

You just needed to see the speed I take collect this heavenly dollar.

1F30M4:
Hehehe what a flyer alot of people take the other way whenever they sight preachers sharing flyers from afar. With this, they can be sure that everybody would want to sharpally collect & pocket it, maybe even disguise to collect more dollar bills lmaooo. Too much sense will not kill the brain behind it God bless the work of your hands, ahnie.

On a normal day,I hardly collect flyers from people,no matter how hard they tried.

1F30M4:
Hehehe what a flyer alot of people take the other way whenever they sight preachers sharing flyers from afar. With this, they can be sure that everybody would want to sharpally collect & pocket it, maybe even disguise to collect more dollar bills lmaooo. Too much sense will not kill the brain behind it God bless the work of your hands, ahnie.

Thanks!

>

Heavenly currency

ahnie:
He stretched forth his hand and handed a dollar like mint paper to me and he said....sister Jesus loves you,God would prosper your business.

I said amen,in my mind I was thinking he gave me a real dollar bill,I quickly put it inside my apron and I was overly sweet to his proclamation.

I don even calculate how to go block all those bereau de change abokis for ogbogonogo market.
Then he drove off ...I was so happy, thinking I yaff hammered.
E later clear from my eyes when I brought my supposed dollar out and found out that,what he gave me was just an ordinary handbill wey them draw Jesus Christ put.

Nonsense... you were decieved by people who thought to shove God at you no matter what backhanded way possible.

Just give the currency to another person and bless them as well the way u were blessed .... Na so money dey exchange hand
Are you sure you don't wanna try your hand in comedy show..

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense... you were decieved by people who thought to shove God at you no matter what backhanded way possible.

You sure say you understand wetin I dey Yan so?you just spoke out of context.

I wasn't decieved by them,and not at any point in time did they shoved God at me.
You ve now seen why my mata and your Mara no dey ever dey align shebi?

ahnie:

You sure say you understand wetin I dey Yan so?you just spoke out of context.

I wasn't decieved by them,and not at any point in time did they shoved God at me.
You ve now seen why my mata and your Mara no dey ever dey align shebi?

Did the man extend to you a piece of paper disguised to look like a dollar bill which instead was a piece of paper telling you of God?

If yes, then how did I misconstrue what you clearly expressed in the portion of your text which I posted?

I m busy at the moment,when m less busy I might consider engaging you.

Kobojunkie:
Did the man extend to you a piece of paper disguised to look like a dollar bill which instead was a piece of paper telling you of God?

If yes, then how did I misconstrue what you clearly expressed in the portion of your text which I posted?

Talk to you later

a close friend of mine had a similar experience while in school.

the one he was given was designed like an mtn recharge card.
while handing it over to him, the giver said:
"recharge your life in Christ".
my guy joyfully collected it and kept it in his pockets.
getting home, he brought it out to realize it was a tool for evangelism.

come see swears and curses.

i laugh am tire

which kind gimmick be this again.
He for use am pay for akara.

Mama, I for like make you channel your literary skills into writing ooo lol. Even without recognizing your monicker, I could remember a story you wrote here sometimes last year about one lady trying to block you from selling your ware because it's Sunday.

Ahnie!! You and your funny stories enhhh.

lalasticlala:
Ahnie!! You and your funny stories enhhh.

Lalasticlala my main man...I go soon find one coded name give you.
You know you're loved.

Warmest regards to the familia.

He no even pity you say you dey toil under the sun, he still want mek you come his church waste your money on tithe. Like say you dey Owerri, I for come collect that paper use am roll my morning weed tomorrow. All the jehovah Witnesses in my area don know me now. If they send men to my house, I don't open my gate and if they send women, I go straight to asking them for pussy. I'm like a boil in their scrotum now. Ndi ara.

@the dude above me....I give up on you