₦airaland Forum

Mariangeles:
Have you ever confronted her about your findings?

yes 2x i even screenshotted d discoveries to her phone on WhatsApp

Baca2Wenger:
yes 2x i even screenshotted d discoveries to her phone on WhatsApp

That means she does not care about your feelings, neither does she respect your marriage.
Heck! She’s already having mental sex (if not physical) with multiple men!
So, for your peace, you have to let her go. Hard as it may seem.

Start by disconnecting from her emotionally.
Stop caring about what she does or who she chats with. Become indifferent. Let her do whatever and however she pleases.
Start doing your own thing, like fixing your own food and all.
Go cold with her. Talk with her only when necessary. Stop talking about any of your plans with her.
Play and relate with your kids only.

Remember; all these are not to make her jealous, but to free yourself from her emotional torture, and gain control of yourself again.
When you feel you’re emotionally strong enough, you cut her off by divorcing her cheating ass!

How on earth will a married woman have such chats Na wa oo

Very terrible.

She even knows you saw it and she doesn't care? That's a serious issue.

Baca2Wenger:
yes 2x i even screenshotted d discoveries to her phone on WhatsApp

Her response?

How you lay your bed is thesame way you lie on it. I'm sure the op knew all this things before putting that ring on her finger. Let him live with the consequences of his actions.
Problems with your marriage
1) you don't have a frame
2) you're in your wifes frame
3) you probably begged her to marry you inspite of her shortcomings/redflags
4) you ignored your instincts and now you're paying for it.
5) the kids you're claiming to be yours might actually not be yours.
Solution
You've lost the game already, there is no need crying over spilled milk. Your mentally deranged wife has zero respect for you and the institution of marriage. Get a DNA test done on your supposed kids, give your wife a divorce. If the kids are yours then send them to your mum or a trusted relative/ friend for safe keeping, then go ahead and process your travel documents and get the Bleep out of this country.
Don't forget to take the Redpill.
You can never reason with emotions...you only manipulate emotions.

What kind of married woman entertains this kind of conversation?

This is so disrespectful to you and your marriage.

Op this issue goes beyond what you have painted here yet you don't know it. You have a very serious problem at hand.

Baca2Wenger:
Hello good enlightened people of nairaland family. Kindly take your time to read through and look away from errors and punctuations '

Kindly advise me on a mind bothering situation I've found myself .I've been married for 5years with two kids a boy and a girl and wife is older than me wit 3years.

Recently i got to know my wife chat and calls guys seamlessly without stop to the extent some do admire her womanliness and stuffs and she always seems unpeturbed and flows with the rhythm at all times to the extent that my wife agreed to invite one of them to my house when i was not around in the name of visiting a old female colleague without putting me in the know or whatsoever...though it later never happened due to one reasonor the other ...maybe they met somewhere else i don't know...

She used to have an ex that she was on the brink of visiting him due to misunderstanding we had at a time. I warned the guy and my wife sternly about what i saw and promised to expose them because the guy is a popular face in broadcasting domain likewise my wife holds a managerial post in a popular insurance coy.

However, recently i noticed several erotic chats with different men keeps getting much even though she never initiated any... but her flows with them in response gives me goose bump that how manage will my wife be replying such talks. But i have not caught her red handed in adultery but emotionally she had in ways i know of.
It's of no doubt my wife is beautiful likewise I'm an handsome dude and average big boy in Buharinomics....it really baffles me as i can't be monitoring what an adult does with her life.

The reason for my post is...i plan travelling out any time soon,but i want to go first and make ground clearance before they come over.I am of the opinion that i apply for visa alone without including she and my kids because i don't really trust her again because i believe with what I've seen in my presence what if I'm away?.... Another thing i noticed about my wife is that, in a working system like US..she can equally divorce me if she's more financially stable than now even though shes not doing bad at moment..

Also, i don't want to do anything that i will regret later because truly i love my wife and kids but the issue of what i've seen and know she's capable of doing brings weakness to my heart because I've discussed the issue with her diff times before but i don't want to talk about it again as she can go into default setting knowing i want to apply for visa for the family.

The great affection i have for my kids is what is really disturbing my head because my hustle n all is majorly to see them grow in a working system...


I wish to be advise on what to really do in this situation i am..
I am open to suggestion and advise from experienced and mostly married persons.

**Cropped attached pix is a sparing hint out of many'

P.S- if you don't have advise,just read and pass.

Thanks

Normally, I am not an advocate for divorce, but based on this evidence, I'd suggest you call for an immediate family meeting, call your priest, and inform them of this rather terrible chats between your wife and her male friends. Call into the broadcast organization and report the irresponsible ex, involve a lawyer and the police in this, press for damages, do a DNA test on ALL your kids then file for a divorce.

Ishilove:
What kind of married woman entertains this kind of conversation?

This is so disrespectful to you and your marriage.

Op this issue goes beyond what you have painted here yet you don't know it. You have a very serious problem at hand.

That lady has slept with some random men multiple times. On this case, I no fit advice them to mend up or patch things, na divorce be the way out.

This is very coarse biko

See erotic whatsApp texts and a married woman dey enjoy such?

I once dumped a gf who sent her puccy pix to another guy that she never slept with. No amount of explanation was enough to get me to forgive her. Imagine my lawful wedded wife dey talk this rubbish on WhatsApp with another man? I go just do DNA for my kids and ease outta her life,so she can hoe in peace.

I really pity these guys getting married these days. I keep reading such horrible things about marriage that it baffles me why people still do owanbe every Saturday

The union is dead, the more effort you put in trying to resuscitate it, the more you become invested and slowly slip into some psychological shits.

Your focus should be on your kids, though it will not be easy but try you must because they are still young and their mother's effect hasn't corrupted them that much. Take the kids along with you or look for a well reputable adult to help you take care of them.

As for your wife, forget about her, she has long gone for good even before now. Never, I repeat never bring her to oversea else, you will totally damage yourself. She will feign repentance, submission, meekness, but don't give in because its superficial and manipulative.

Leave that woman alone!

Thanks.

G0LANHEIGHTS:
How you lay your bed is thesame way you lie on it. I'm sure the op knew all this things before putting that ring on her finger. Let him live with the consequences of his actions.
Problems with your marriage
1) you don't have a frame
2) you're in your wifes frame
3) you probably begged her to marry you inspite of her shortcomings/redflags
4) you ignored your instincts and now you're paying for it.
5) the kids you're claiming to be yours might actually not be yours.
Solution
You've lost the game already, there is no need crying over spilled milk. Your mentally deranged wife has zero respect for you and the institution of marriage. Get a DNA test done on your supposed kids, give your wife a divorce. If the kids are yours then send them to your mum or a trusted relative/ friend for safe keeping, then go ahead and process your travel documents and get the Bleep out of this country.
Don't forget to take the Redpill.
You can never reason with emotions...you only manipulate emotions.

DNA is out of it as the kids looks like my carbon copy 100% even up to their dentition(diastema)
Gracias to your contribution.

kingreign:
That lady has slept with some random men multiple times. On this case, I no fit advice them to mend up or patch things, na divorce be the way out.

My brother just look at the kind of chat a married woman is engaged in. She is committing adultery steadily while OP is here writing epistles

Ishilove:
My brother just look at the kind of chat a married woman is engaged in. She is committing adultery steadily while OP is here writing epistles

I taya for the chats. How e go do or feel when e pikin read such senselessness??

Baca2Wenger:
DNA is out of it as the kids looks like my carbon copy 100% even up to their dentition(diastema)
Gracias to your contribution.

Trust but verify.

G0LANHEIGHTS:
Trust but verify.

OK

Baca2Wenger:
Hello good enlightened people of nairaland family. Kindly take your time to read through and look away from errors and punctuations '

Kindly advise me on a mind bothering situation I've found myself .I've been married for 5years with two kids a boy and a girl and wife is older than me wit 3years.

Recently i got to know my wife chat and calls guys seamlessly without stop to the extent some do admire her womanliness and stuffs and she always seems unpeturbed and flows with the rhythm at all times to the extent that my wife agreed to invite one of them to my house when i was not around in the name of visiting a old female colleague without putting me in the know or whatsoever...though it later never happened due to one reasonor the other ...maybe they met somewhere else i don't know...

She used to have an ex that she was on the brink of visiting him due to misunderstanding we had at a time.In there conversation,she told the guy that i was out of the country since last year March,maybe to hasten there meeting or whatever i don't know.When i got to know this via her whatsapp n fb messenger chats even with several call logs. I warned the guy and my wife sternly about what i saw and promised to expose them because the guy is a popular face in broadcasting domain likewise my wife holds a managerial post in a popular insurance coy.

However, recently i noticed several erotic chats with different men keeps getting much even though she never initiated any... but her effortless flows with them in response gives me goose bump not minding she's married with kids, that how manage will my wife be replying such talks. But i have not caught her red handed in adultery or in the act but emotionally she had in ways i know of.
It's of no doubt my wife is beautiful likewise I'm an handsome dude and average big boy in Buharinomics and we are pretty doing fine .....it really baffles me as i can't be monitoring what an adult does with her life.

The reason for my post is...i plan travelling out any time soon,but i want to go first and make ground clearance before they come over.I am of the opinion that i apply for visa alone without including she and my kids because i don't really trust her again because i believe with what I've seen in my presence what if I'm away?.... Another thing i noticed about my wife is that, in a working system like US..she can equally divorce me if she's more financially stable than now even though shes not doing bad at moment..

Also, i don't want to do anything that i will regret later because truly i love my wife and kids but the issue of what i've seen and know she's capable of doing brings weakness to my heart because I've discussed the issue with her diff times before but i don't want to talk about it again as she can go into default setting knowing i want to apply for visa for the family.

The great affection i have for my kids is what is really disturbing my head because my hustle n all is majorly to see them grow in a working system...


I wish to be advise on what to really do in this situation i am..
I am open to suggestion and advise from experienced and mostly married persons.

**Cropped attached pix is a sparing hint out of many'

P.S- if you don't have advise,just read and pass.

Thanks

my brother abroad favours women more than men. Women have more rights than men and she would enjoy in abroad more than you. You will work your arse off for the family but she would have more control, she would keep her money and face her own family while she eats yours. The advantage is your kids will enjoy but for you, you will slave all your life for the system and for your family. If you are alone abroad better. She would not cheat because you have more financial advantage. If she joins you thats where wahala go start

Baca2Wenger:
Hello good enlightened people of nairaland family. Kindly take your time to read through and look away from errors and punctuations '

Kindly advise me on a mind bothering situation I've found myself .I've been married for 5years with two kids a boy and a girl and wife is older than me wit 3years.

Recently i got to know my wife chat and calls guys seamlessly without stop to the extent some do admire her womanliness and stuffs and she always seems unpeturbed and flows with the rhythm at all times to the extent that my wife agreed to invite one of them to my house when i was not around in the name of visiting a old female colleague without putting me in the know or whatsoever...though it later never happened due to one reasonor the other ...maybe they met somewhere else i don't know...

She used to have an ex that she was on the brink of visiting him due to misunderstanding we had at a time.In there conversation,she told the guy that i was out of the country since last year March,maybe to hasten there meeting or whatever i don't know.When i got to know this via her whatsapp n fb messenger chats even with several call logs. I warned the guy and my wife sternly about what i saw and promised to expose them because the guy is a popular face in broadcasting domain likewise my wife holds a managerial post in a popular insurance coy.

However, recently i noticed several erotic chats with different men keeps getting much even though she never initiated any... but her effortless flows with them in response gives me goose bump not minding she's married with kids, that how manage will my wife be replying such talks. But i have not caught her red handed in adultery or in the act but emotionally she had in ways i know of.
It's of no doubt my wife is beautiful likewise I'm an handsome dude and average big boy in Buharinomics and we are pretty doing fine .....it really baffles me as i can't be monitoring what an adult does with her life.

The reason for my post is...i plan travelling out any time soon,but i want to go first and make ground clearance before they come over.I am of the opinion that i apply for visa alone without including she and my kids because i don't really trust her again because i believe with what I've seen in my presence what if I'm away?.... Another thing i noticed about my wife is that, in a working system like US..she can equally divorce me if she's more financially stable than now even though shes not doing bad at moment..

Also, i don't want to do anything that i will regret later because truly i love my wife and kids but the issue of what i've seen and know she's capable of doing brings weakness to my heart because I've discussed the issue with her diff times before but i don't want to talk about it again as she can go into default setting knowing i want to apply for visa for the family.

The great affection i have for my kids is what is really disturbing my head because my hustle n all is majorly to see them grow in a working system...


I wish to be advise on what to really do in this situation i am..
I am open to suggestion and advise from experienced and mostly married persons.

**Cropped attached pix is a sparing hint out of many'

P.S- if you don't have advise,just read and pass.

Thanks

wow having read the chat, please cancel any travel plans for now. Your wife is not trying at all. These guys are calling you a fool chai. This is a big disrepect to you and she is nugding them on with her silence. Are you guys still intimate? Are you still romantic? Your wife doesn't respect you probably because of age difference. Call her and talk to her like a man, tell her to block them in your presence. Stamp your feet today. If she refuses then face your future, face your children. Make more investments in your name. Anything joint should cease immediately. She must earn her place in your life.

My candid advise for you is to escalate this situation oh.
If you try to keep it, you may not recover from the loss if only God spare your life in this. This is a shallow situation right now.
God forbid a bad thing, in less than 3 months your wife will move on so please inform the elders possibly from her own family first and your priest.
I won't suggest divorce but you're all alone in this family.

BMathew:
My candid advise for you is to escalate this situation oh.
If you try to keep it, you may not recover from the loss if only God spare your life in this. This is a shallow situation right now.
God forbid a bad thing, in less than 3 months your wife will move on so please inform the elders possibly from her own family first and your priest.
I won't suggest divorce but you're all alone in this family.

Why won’t you suggest divorce?
Isn’t it obvious that their marriage is a sham? A disaster waiting to happen?

Ishilove:
What kind of married woman entertains this kind of conversation?

This is so disrespectful to you and your marriage.

Op this issue goes beyond what you have painted here yet you don't know it. You have a very serious problem at hand.

The lady isn't sensible, don't want to be harsh, the ex that never thought you were good enough to be wifed is still the same person that wants to break up your marriage.

She seems to enjoy the naughty talks or she is probably gaining something, maybe prospects or customers. Even at that sef, this is total disrespect.

Mariangeles:
Why won’t you suggest divorce?
Isn’t it obvious that their marriage is a sham? A disaster waiting to happen?

That's why I stated earlier, he's alone in the relationship.
I will suggest he seek counsels from elders first and let them see the response of the woman towards the situation.
It's not an easy thing to divorce a wife oh, even though danger is looming. Very easy for women but so hard for men.
Let him seek counsels from the elders in a round table meeting first.

Don't keep this info to yourself alone, let her family know what she's into before they tag you a terrible man later in future

Whyzaid:
Don't keep this info to yourself alone, let her family know what she's into before they tag you a terrible man later in future

Noted!

Whyzaid:
Don't keep this info to yourself alone, let her family know what she's into before they tag you a terrible man later in future

Gbam.

This man is afraid of divorce claiming one silly love but he is alone in this sham of a marriage, those chats are irritating to say the least, you do not take your mental health serious, if not you know what to do.

seems you are waiting till you see one of those men naked on your wife before you take action, before that time , the emotional torture you wife is afflicting you with would have squeezed you thin, call a family meeting for both families, show your evidences and give them ultimatum, Do not plead!!! you should be in charge. if she refused to change Divorce!!! your mental health is important......... but I doubt you have the mind for that, seems you are more obsessed with having a beautiful lady as wife no matter the shit she throws at you.
O dabo!!!!

realestate99:
This man is afraid of divorce claiming one silly love but he is alone in this sham of a marriage, those chats are irritating to say the least, you do not take your mental health serious, if not you know what to do.

seems you are waiting till you see one of those men naked on your wife before you take action, before that time , the emotional torture you wife is afflicting you with would have squeezed you thin, call a family meeting for both families, show your evidences and give them ultimatum, Do not plead!!! you should be in charge. if she refused to change Divorce!!! your mental health is important......... but I doubt you have the mind for that, seems you are more obsessed with having a beautiful lady as wife no matter the shit she throws at you.
O dabo!!!!

I have the balls to do and undo bro!, I'm only passionate about the innocent kids future and all...as i grew up in a loveable home myself...thanks for the reply

Baca2Wenger:
I have the balls to do and undo bro!, I'm only passionate about the innocent kids future and all...as i grew up in a loveable home myself...thanks for the reply

Don’t use the children as an excuse to tolerate rubbish.
Your mental health as at stake.
Is it that you don’t get the gravity of what your wife is doing or you’re guilty of something and she’s paying you back?

Mariangeles:
Don’t use the children as an excuse to tolerate rubbish.
Your mental health as at stake.
Is it that you don’t get the gravity of what your wife is doing or you’re guilty of something and she’s paying you back?

Guilty? Nope...i grab your point'
Thanks regardless

Baca2Wenger:
I have the balls to do and undo bro!, I'm only passionate about the innocent kids future and all...as i grew up in a loveable home myself...thanks for the reply

It is all funny how you people hide under the welfare of kids to take shits meant for animals, who told you your kids won't turn out fine if you divorce that your "wife" ?

I know it is healthy for kids to grow in a settings that include both parents but Mr Man!!! your mental health too is important, you are at the peak of your life now, you don't need any emotional burden to tie you down, you will age fast!!! no matter how financially buoyant you are , when something consistently messes with your mental health, your life becomes low grade and people around you will not feel the real you.

It is even worse for the kids if both of you are still together and she continues her cheating spree when you are not around, your kids would be taunted by neighbours for having a promiscuous mother.

I want to type your divorce letter.

Baca2Wenger:
Hello good enlightened people of nairaland family. Kindly take your time to read through and look away from errors and punctuations '

Kindly advise me on a mind bothering situation I've found myself .I've been married for 5years with two kids a boy and a girl and wife is older than me wit 3years.

Recently i got to know my wife chat and calls guys seamlessly without stop to the extent some do admire her womanliness and stuffs and she always seems unpeturbed and flows with the rhythm at all times to the extent that my wife agreed to invite one of them to my house when i was not around in the name of visiting a old female colleague without putting me in the know or whatsoever...though it later never happened due to one reasonor the other ...maybe they met somewhere else i don't know...

She used to have an ex that she was on the brink of visiting him due to misunderstanding we had at a time.In there conversation,she told the guy that i was out of the country since last year March,maybe to hasten there meeting or whatever i don't know.When i got to know this via her whatsapp n fb messenger chats even with several call logs. I warned the guy and my wife sternly about what i saw and promised to expose them because the guy is a popular face in broadcasting domain likewise my wife holds a managerial post in a popular insurance coy.

However, recently i noticed several erotic chats with different men keeps getting much even though she never initiated any... but her effortless flows with them in response gives me goose bump not minding she's married with kids, that how manage will my wife be replying such talks. But i have not caught her red handed in adultery or in the act but emotionally she had in ways i know of.
It's of no doubt my wife is beautiful likewise I'm an handsome dude and average big boy in Buharinomics and we are pretty doing fine .....it really baffles me as i can't be monitoring what an adult does with her life.

The reason for my post is...i plan travelling out any time soon,but i want to go first and make ground clearance before they come over.I am of the opinion that i apply for visa alone without including she and my kids because i don't really trust her again because i believe with what I've seen in my presence what if I'm away?.... Another thing i noticed about my wife is that, in a working system like US..she can equally divorce me if she's more financially stable than now even though shes not doing bad at moment..

Also, i don't want to do anything that i will regret later because truly i love my wife and kids but the issue of what i've seen and know she's capable of doing brings weakness to my heart because I've discussed the issue with her diff times before but i don't want to talk about it again as she can go into default setting knowing i want to apply for visa for the family.

The great affection i have for my kids is what is really disturbing my head because my hustle n all is majorly to see them grow in a working system...


I wish to be advise on what to really do in this situation i am..
I am open to suggestion and advise from experienced and mostly married persons.

**Cropped attached pix is a sparing hint out of many'

P.S- if you don't have advise,just read and pass.

Thanks

dude believe it or not your wife is been beeped outside, So just get ready for anything that comes out of here because definitely you are going to see my observation also is that you should try saving up guyman To avoid heartbreak okay If your visa is ready don't involve her keep ur activities on low key buh is she cheating on u yes she is doing so and you are aware of it

heniford2:
dude believe it or not your wife is been beeped outside, So just get ready for anything that comes out of here because definitely you are going to see my observation also is that you should try saving up guyman To avoid heartbreak okay If your visa is ready don't involve her keep ur activities on low key buh is she cheating on u yes she is doing so and you are aware of it

Your submission is noted bro"