₦airaland Forum

sonnie10:
For me and myself, its for the pursuit of happiness. If it is legit, not against my belief, morally right and makes me happy, I will work hard for it.

if big mansion makes you happy, do it.

If a small kobo kobo bungalow makes you happy,build it too.

A criminal is a criminal. He doesn't need an excuse to turn to crime. He is a criminal because that's whom he is. No more no less

michlins:
Omo fear catch me. Person already have grandchildren and another two graduate kids.

Omo man pass man

I am guessing grandpa Mufutau55 had his children stay in one of the houses he built before they all became adults..

Seems he's the oldest on the thread for now.

Baba agba, idobale nimowa o. (Not Yoruba, but hope I tried?)

My philosophy : If I can't build a "memory giving" abode for my children while they are young and living with me, no point building anything beyond 2 bedroom house.

somehow:
But old men plenty for this thread o

Ancient of days, I hail una o.

Oga, were you expecting to see "us" at the romance thread?

lol na men talk full thread so �..highly inspired though ..

MMotimo:
Unpopular opinion (?):
These unhealthy rivalries, ego drives and need to show off are some of the major causes of the current state of our morals as a nation and it is not restricted to the people of the SE alone. I can’t speak for the north because I don’t know enough northerners to make a judgment but these mindsets permeate the whole of southern Nigeria from the Yorubas of the SW, all across our country’s southern regions. Please note the use of the word “average “ in my write up below, I’d hate to see any hasty responses that ignored that qualifier.

These “ideologies “ are one of the reasons overseas prisons, from Asia to Europe to the USA are flooded with Kayodes, Nosas, Emekas and all manner of southerners. The journey to riches at all costs with no boundaries. The average southerner desires wealth , first and foremost to prove that they have arrived. Personal utility/benefit of the riches is secondary. Part of human development is mental development. I’m old fashioned myself in a lot of ways but when it comes to finance, I allow little room for sentiments. Speaking to the SE aspirations already mentioned by several people, it’s interesting that we have a number of Igbo friends, professionals with good jobs, great incomes with the financial resources to build mansions in the village yet have no desire to do such but are content with donating money to fund infrastructure that benefit the villagers. I will admit the ones we are close with were largely born and bred in Lagos so maybe that’s the difference in thinking. It’s easier to embrace certain ideologies in adulthood if they were already instilled from birth if you were born in the region. You more or less grow up with people with the same mindsets and rub minds with them. Similar to the SW asoebi, owambe crew for whom life is “party after party.” If your social circle is filled with people of a certain mindset, chances are high that you would mirror their thinking and aspirations.

In the old days, it was possible to achieve certain inspirations without crime but in Naija of 2022 with an economy that is all but comatose at this point, a person would still be panting and sweating to build white elephant projects in a village of 1500 people or less while some other southerners just want the money so that they can throw multi million naira parties with KWAM1 and Sunny Ade on stage as they celebrate 10th, 20th, 50th death anniversaries of loved ones or so they can buy an AMG G63 they are not capable of maintaining or make it rain dorime at the clubs so they can be hailed. Is it any wonder our morals as a country is in the pits when we have high end desires that cannot be supported with economic realities? Realistically, what are the chances of the average person in these groups, in Nigeria, being able to achieve such misplaced priorities through honest labor with zero criminal acts? Again, I say average. I know there is a very tiny minority that is capable of achieving without resorting to crime.

Abroad, even if they are not into crime, they are leveraged (in debt) to their eyeballs. Credit cards are maxed out, multiple loans are being serviced, little or no savings compared to incomes earned. They even patronize pay day loan lenders that charge astronomical rates because they are living pay cheque to pay cheque. With a take home pay of USD10k or more after deductions, some cannot save USD1k a month and I’m not exaggerating. It’s called “doing pass yasef.” You no fit drink water drop cup. For some, that is all on top of working 2/3 jobs to make ends meet and complete the village white elephant project back home or fund the next owambe at Eko Hotels. Even in the abroad, they are the “house poor “ Nigerians with the biggest houses that are mortgaged to the hilt, occasionally even unable to make mortgage payments. Cars nko? Multiple leased luxury vehicles to keep up with the appearance of wealth even as they are voracious consumers of luxury brand knockoffs because they cannot afford the real thing but want to keep up appearances.

At Naija parties, they are the braggarts, always ready to make grandiose announcements that may not even be rooted in fact. Picture people like N3xt. With no prompting, they announce all these assets that they own, all these projects they are funding but they won’t say pim about their debts. Ladies and gentlemen, the koko is the net worth (assets-liabilities). That is the real wealth if you are looking to measure. Some of these people have declared person bankruptcy one or more times in the US because their debt load became uncontrollable but their people in Naija have no idea.

I’m going to touch on the swimming pool idea that has become so popular now with detached homes. I can understand pools in apartment buildings that have the population and hopefully traffic and maintenance funds (service fees) to keep them viable but these tiny, soak away sized “swimming pools “ in detached homes are the ones that baffle. Note, I’m not talking about the ones you find in homes that have plenty land to accommodate beta pools. If you cannot afford enough land to accommodate the house and a proper-sized pool, why must you build a pool that is going to end up breeding mosquitoes and drowning lizards? To start with, it takes money to maintain those pools and that is on top of the house’s maintenance. Half the time, these pools are not even built to international standards but we like to copy international ideas. The average Nigerian’s idea of relaxing has nothing to do with wearing swimming trunks or being in a pool. It’s strictly isiewu/peppered snails/nkwobi/small chops, etc with alcohol but we build a pool as a status symbol even if it ends up in disrepair within a few months.

This my Mama need to write book o. You have covered a lot of avenues on this write-up. Very useful information that most of our people are not aware of, or may be that they dont want to accept.
Thank you for this write-up, "you are on the money".

Hajji M.

MMotimo:
Unpopular opinion (?):

These unhealthy rivalries, ego drives and need to show off are some of the major causes of the current state of our morals as a nation and it is not restricted to the people of the SE alone. I can’t speak for the north because I don’t know enough northerners to make a judgment but these mindsets permeate the whole of southern Nigeria from the Yorubas of the SW, all across our country’s southern regions. Please note the use of the word “average “ in my write up below, I’d hate to see any hasty responses that ignored that qualifier.

These “ideologies “ are one of the reasons overseas prisons, from Asia to Europe to the USA are flooded with Kayodes, Nosas, Emekas and all manner of southerners. The journey to riches at all costs with no boundaries. The average southerner desires wealth , first and foremost to prove that they have arrived. Personal utility/benefit of the riches is secondary. Part of human development is mental development. I’m old fashioned myself in a lot of ways but when it comes to finance, I allow little room for sentiments. Speaking to the SE aspirations already mentioned by several people, it’s interesting that we have a number of Igbo friends, professionals with good jobs, great incomes with the financial resources to build mansions in the village yet have no desire to do such but are content with donating money to fund infrastructure that benefit the villagers. I will admit the ones we are close with were largely born and bred in Lagos so maybe that’s the difference in thinking. It’s easier to embrace certain ideologies in adulthood if they were already instilled from birth if you were born in the region. You more or less grow up with people with the same mindsets and rub minds with them. Similar to the SW asoebi, owambe crew for whom life is “party after party.” If your social circle is filled with people of a certain mindset, chances are high that you would mirror their thinking and aspirations.

In the old days, it was possible to achieve certain inspirations without crime but in Naija of 2022 with an economy that is all but comatose at this point, a person would still be panting and sweating to build white elephant projects in a village of 1500 people or less while some other southerners just want the money so that they can throw multi million naira parties with KWAM1 and Sunny Ade on stage as they celebrate 10th, 20th, 50th death anniversaries of loved ones or so they can buy an AMG G63 they are not capable of maintaining or make it rain dorime at the clubs so they can be hailed. Is it any wonder our morals as a country is in the pits when we have high end desires that cannot be supported with economic realities? Realistically, what are the chances of the average person in these groups, in Nigeria, being able to achieve such misplaced priorities through honest labor with zero criminal acts? Again, I say average. I know there is a very tiny minority that is capable of achieving without resorting to crime.

Abroad, even if they are not into crime, they are leveraged (in debt) to their eyeballs. Credit cards are maxed out, multiple loans are being serviced, little or no savings compared to incomes earned. They even patronize pay day loan lenders that charge astronomical rates because they are living pay cheque to pay cheque. With a take home pay of USD10k or more after deductions, some cannot save USD1k a month and I’m not exaggerating. It’s called “doing pass yasef.” You no fit drink water drop cup. For some, that is all on top of working 2/3 jobs to make ends meet and complete the village white elephant project back home or fund the next owambe at Eko Hotels. Even in the abroad, they are the “house poor “ Nigerians with the biggest houses that are mortgaged to the hilt, occasionally even unable to make mortgage payments. Cars nko? Multiple leased luxury vehicles to keep up with the appearance of wealth even as they are voracious consumers of luxury brand knockoffs because they cannot afford the real thing but want to keep up appearances.

At Naija parties, they are the braggarts, always ready to make grandiose announcements that may not even be rooted in fact. Picture people like N3xt. With no prompting, they announce all these assets that they own, all these projects they are funding but they won’t say pim about their debts. Ladies and gentlemen, the koko is the net worth (assets-liabilities). That is the real wealth if you are looking to measure. Some of these people have declared person bankruptcy one or more times in the US because their debt load became uncontrollable but their people in Naija have no idea.

I’m going to touch on the swimming pool idea that has become so popular now with detached homes. I can understand pools in apartment buildings that have the population and hopefully traffic and maintenance funds (service fees) to keep them viable but these tiny, soak away sized “swimming pools “ in detached homes are the ones that baffle. Note, I’m not talking about the ones you find in homes that have plenty land to accommodate beta pools. If you cannot afford enough land to accommodate the house and a proper-sized pool, why must you build a pool that is going to end up breeding mosquitoes and drowning lizards? To start with, it takes money to maintain those pools and that is on top of the house’s maintenance. Half the time, these pools are not even built to international standards but we like to copy international ideas. The average Nigerian’s idea of relaxing has nothing to do with wearing swimming trunks or being in a pool. It’s strictly isiewu/peppered snails/nkwobi/small chops, etc with alcohol but we build a pool as a status symbol even if it ends up in disrepair within a few months.

Moral Instruction.

MMotimo:
Unpopular opinion (?):

These unhealthy rivalries, ego drives and need to show off are some of the major causes of the current state of our morals as a nation and it is not restricted to the people of the SE alone. I can’t speak for the north because I don’t know enough northerners to make a judgment but these mindsets permeate the whole of southern Nigeria from the Yorubas of the SW, all across our country’s southern regions. Please note the use of the word “average “ in my write up below, I’d hate to see any hasty responses that ignored that qualifier.

These “ideologies “ are one of the reasons overseas prisons, from Asia to Europe to the USA are flooded with Kayodes, Nosas, Emekas and all manner of southerners. The journey to riches at all costs with no boundaries. The average southerner desires wealth , first and foremost to prove that they have arrived. Personal utility/benefit of the riches is secondary. Part of human development is mental development. I’m old fashioned myself in a lot of ways but when it comes to finance, I allow little room for sentiments. Speaking to the SE aspirations already mentioned by several people, it’s interesting that we have a number of Igbo friends, professionals with good jobs, great incomes with the financial resources to build mansions in the village yet have no desire to do such but are content with donating money to fund infrastructure that benefit the villagers. I will admit the ones we are close with were largely born and bred in Lagos so maybe that’s the difference in thinking. It’s easier to embrace certain ideologies in adulthood if they were already instilled from birth if you were born in the region. You more or less grow up with people with the same mindsets and rub minds with them. Similar to the SW asoebi, owambe crew for whom life is “party after party.” If your social circle is filled with people of a certain mindset, chances are high that you would mirror their thinking and aspirations.

In the old days, it was possible to achieve certain inspirations without crime but in Naija of 2022 with an economy that is all but comatose at this point, a person would still be panting and sweating to build white elephant projects in a village of 1500 people or less while some other southerners just want the money so that they can throw multi million naira parties with KWAM1 and Sunny Ade on stage as they celebrate 10th, 20th, 50th death anniversaries of loved ones or so they can buy an AMG G63 they are not capable of maintaining or make it rain dorime at the clubs so they can be hailed. Is it any wonder our morals as a country is in the pits when we have high end desires that cannot be supported with economic realities? Realistically, what are the chances of the average person in these groups, in Nigeria, being able to achieve such misplaced priorities through honest labor with zero criminal acts? Again, I say average. I know there is a very tiny minority that is capable of achieving without resorting to crime.

Abroad, even if they are not into crime, they are leveraged (in debt) to their eyeballs. Credit cards are maxed out, multiple loans are being serviced, little or no savings compared to incomes earned. They even patronize pay day loan lenders that charge astronomical rates because they are living pay cheque to pay cheque. With a take home pay of USD10k or more after deductions, some cannot save USD1k a month and I’m not exaggerating. It’s called “doing pass yasef.” You no fit drink water drop cup. For some, that is all on top of working 2/3 jobs to make ends meet and complete the village white elephant project back home or fund the next owambe at Eko Hotels. Even in the abroad, they are the “house poor “ Nigerians with the biggest houses that are mortgaged to the hilt, occasionally even unable to make mortgage payments. Cars nko? Multiple leased luxury vehicles to keep up with the appearance of wealth even as they are voracious consumers of luxury brand knockoffs because they cannot afford the real thing but want to keep up appearances.

At Naija parties, they are the braggarts, always ready to make grandiose announcements that may not even be rooted in fact. Picture people like N3xt. With no prompting, they announce all these assets that they own, all these projects they are funding but they won’t say pim about their debts. Ladies and gentlemen, the koko is the net worth (assets-liabilities). That is the real wealth if you are looking to measure. Some of these people have declared person bankruptcy one or more times in the US because their debt load became uncontrollable but their people in Naija have no idea.

I’m going to touch on the swimming pool idea that has become so popular now with detached homes. I can understand pools in apartment buildings that have the population and hopefully traffic and maintenance funds (service fees) to keep them viable but these tiny, soak away sized “swimming pools “ in detached homes are the ones that baffle. Note, I’m not talking about the ones you find in homes that have plenty land to accommodate beta pools. If you cannot afford enough land to accommodate the house and a proper-sized pool, why must you build a pool that is going to end up breeding mosquitoes and drowning lizards? To start with, it takes money to maintain those pools and that is on top of the house’s maintenance. Half the time, these pools are not even built to international standards but we like to copy international ideas. The average Nigerian’s idea of relaxing has nothing to do with wearing swimming trunks or being in a pool. It’s strictly isiewu/peppered snails/nkwobi/small chops, etc with alcohol but we build a pool as a status symbol even if it ends up in disrepair within a few months.

Comments like this makes me to feel that I am on the right path, results might not be visible now, (not that I mind though, I have lived a low key life that my poor moments and my okay moments in terms of finance cannot be differentiated from my every day life) but I sure know I will get there. And I was enjoying this beautiful piece until I saw my name coming first as a bad example. It pain me oooo, as I have met few Kayodes who are humble and hardworking as I am.

somehow:
I am guessing grandpa Mufutau55 had his children stay in one of the houses he built before they all became adults..

Seems he's the oldest on the thread for now.

Baba agba, idobale nimowa o. (Not Yoruba, but hope I tried?)

My philosophy : If I can't build a "memory giving" abode for my children while they are young and living with me, no point building anything beyond 2 bedroom house.

Yes Sir. The only time my children lived with me before turning adults are not in Nigeria but only when I bring them all on visit to Nigeria.

Oldest keh? I am a young man o. I have some elders in this forum o. But we thank God for some decades. Thank you Sir.

Hajji M.

sonnie10:
99% of Nigerians in US are working hard for their money. Most have family of 4-5 (parents and children) and earning about $100k a year between both parents. Most are nurses (wife) and husband in the same level of pay. If they live a modest life, total monthly expenses would not exceed $5-6k a month. Whatever is left can build any mansion in Nigeria if self supervised under 1-2 years.

They do not need to work 2-3 jobs
The do not need to go into any shaddy thing
They do not need to max credit card
The do not need to change cars every years
They have brains to manage their own finances.

First of all, I made a distinction between the ones that are criminals and the ones that are not criminals so no point saying “no need to go into any shady thing” since that does not apply to the group whose net worth/ debt profile I highlighted and whom I assume are your reference point for this post?

I’m not sure where your statistics are coming from re 99%, nurses, $100k household income , same level of pay, etc. I can speak for my family and my Nigerian social circle and all of what you’ve stated here is inaccurate.

There’s only one nurse in my Nigerian social circle
My husband earns significantly more than I do so our pay levels are not even close
Our monthly expenses exceed $6k per month
Household income is significantly more than what you’ve stated, etc. so you see why you can’t just generalize.

With that said, I am quite aware of households making less and more than your stated $100k a year who are maxed out on their credit cards even with side hustles (2nd, 3rd jobs), paying monthly leases running into thousands of dollars for multiple luxury vehicles, white elephant building projects in Naija that they are constantly struggling to fund, buying the biggest houses in the most affluent neighborhoods etc. You and I know you can live in a nice neighborhood with a good school district without buying the most expensive house there that makes mortgage payments an uphill battle every month.

You may not necessarily like with what I said but it’s a fact. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my decades abroad, it is that background plays a major role. We are products of our upbringing, our experiences. Some people grew up in lack and/or members of the oppressed group, economically disadvantaged. Many spend the rest of their lives trying to prove that they are good enough, they have arrived and no matter their achievements, they can never move beyond the mindset of trying to impress those that considered them “less than.” Yorubas have a term “oju o ri ola ri” eyes that have never seen wealth. This is the set of people that commonly “do more than themselves” at home and abroad. They’re constantly boasting that they’ll do things they cannot do because the compulsion to show off is overriding, even when those around them know they are lying.

There is no way you and I would ever see eye to eye on this issue because we come from different ends. I did say my opinion would be unpopular but it’s still mine, no apologies You are entitled to yours too. I said what I said!

cayorday89:
Comments like this makes me to feel that I am on the right path, results might not be visible now, (not that I mind though, I have lived a low key life that my poor moments and my okay moments in terms of finance cannot be differentiated from my every day life) but I sure know I will get there. And I was enjoying this beautiful piece until I saw my name coming first as a bad example. It pain me oooo, as I have met few Kayodes who are humble and hardworking as I am.

LOL Kayode, sorry your name came first. I can testify that if you focus on honest labor, save and invest your money, run your race, be generous, don’t try to keep up with the Joneses, you are going to wake up one day and realize that you have achieved beyond what you can imagine. The way God will bless you will leave you in amazement. Not just money but your children, your career, your investments. Everything takes time but it’s time well spent.

michlins:
that's why the birth of a male child in Igbo can not be overemphasized.

We can sound "woke" and all about all children being blessing. But an average Igbo man will always want a male child else his sweat goes to the closest family member

Oga Michlin, that era has gone past, don't drag us backwards.
People are now wiser when it comes to allocating properties in the absence of a male child.

mufutau55:
This my Mama need to write book o. You have covered a lot of avenues on this wrte-up. Very useful information that most of our people are not aware of, or may be that they dont want to accept.
Thank you for this write-up, "you are on the money".

Hajji M.

Eseun Sir!

I did a write up somewhere else a couple of months ago about some of the reasons why Nigerians struggle abroad when they shouldn’t . Maybe I’ll post it here so that our youth can “gb’ori duro” learn a few things. Rome was not built in a day, honest wealth acquisition takes time.

On the other end of the spectrum are people like me with children who are doing well professionally and are embedded fully in their home country. "Nigeria is a dangerous place that Dad goes and we don’t know why".

Everything I’m doing how will be taken over by whoever “partner” that I'm currently in tryst in.

I envy you abrodians with broods that I meet between JFK/ATL headed to LOS to spend vacations with Dad.

michlins:
why do you work hard. Sum it up in two sentences or maximum of four

When you’ve learnt to make requests in a polite manner, I might respond.
I don’t respond to commands. Good breeding/manners matters

sonnie10:
Oga, were you expecting to see "us" at the romance thread?

Mba? Even me wey be 16 no dey go romance thread.

mufutau55:
Yes Sir. The only time my children lived with me before turning adults are not in Nigeria but only when I bring them all on visit to Nigeria.

Oldest keh? I am a young man o. I have some elders in this forum o. But we thank God for some decades. Thank you Sir.

Hajji M.

Humble grandpa. I hail sir.

It's all well and good sir.

UC92:
Oga Michlin, that era has gone past, don't drag us backwards.
People are now wiser when it comes to allocating properties in the absence of a male child.

well I am telling you what I observed about Igbo people. It's not meant to sound sweet because it's a fact

MMotimo:
When you’ve learnt to make requests in a polite manner, I might respond.
I don’t respond to commands. Good breeding/manners matters

I'm sorry if I sounded disrespectful and commanding. I just want to pick your brain as you have displayed you have wealth of knowledge to share

I'm an Igbo Boy... But you see those gigantic houses??.. Not my thing

Building house in the village too??....Not my thing.

No be my thing abeg... I just need a 4 bedroom bungalow situated close to Heavy Palm Trees... Those bungalows at Redemption camp comes to mind .

If you like disrespect me because I no get big House ... Na you Sabi .

I hate attention

This is the property thread we miss, intellectual conversation.

EgunMogaji2:
I think I’ve seen this edifice.

Very Visible from the road now .

MMotimo:
First of all, I made a distinction between the ones that are criminals and the ones that are not criminals so no point saying “no need to go into any shady thing” since that does not apply to the group whose net worth/ debt profile I highlighted and whom I assume are your reference point for this post?

I’m not sure where your statistics are coming from re 99%, nurses, $100k household income , same level of pay, etc. I can speak for my family and my Nigerian social circle and all of what you’ve stated here is inaccurate.

There’s only one nurse in my Nigerian social circle
My husband earns significantly more than I do so our pay levels are not even close
Our monthly expenses exceed $6k per month
Household income is significantly more than what you’ve stated, etc. so you see why you can’t just generalize.

With that said, I am quite aware of households making less and more than your stated $100k a year who are maxed out on their credit cards even with side hustles (2nd, 3rd jobs), paying monthly leases running into thousands of dollars for multiple luxury vehicles, white elephant building projects in Naija that they are constantly struggling to fund, buying the biggest houses in the most affluent neighborhoods etc. You and I know you can live in a nice neighborhood with a good school district without buying the most expensive house there that makes mortgage payments an uphill battle every month.

You may not necessarily like with what I said but it’s a fact. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my decades abroad, it is that background plays a major role. We are products of our upbringing, our experiences. Some people grew up in lack and/or members of the oppressed group, economically disadvantaged. Many spend the rest of their lives trying to prove that they are good enough, they have arrived and no matter their achievements, they can never move beyond the mindset of trying to impress those that considered them “less than.” Yorubas have a term “oju o ri ola ri” eyes that have never seen wealth. This is the set of people that commonly “do more than themselves” at home and abroad. They’re constantly boasting that they’ll do things they cannot do because the compulsion to show off is overriding, even when those around them know they are lying.

There is no way you and I would ever see eye to eye on this issue because we come from different ends. I did say my opinion would be unpopular but it’s still mine, no apologies You are entitled to yours too. I said what I said!

One prayer point of every Igbo family is for God never to allow any woman that would discourage their sons from building a befitting house in village in their life. That prayer is still being said even as we are talking.

I can only speak for myself and how I have planned to live my life. Upbringing has little or nothing to do with pursuit of personal happiness. Your premise is that impoverished background is the reason why people do some of the these things, and that is wrong. I for one is an exception.
My parents did extremely well in their days. As a matter of fact I went to the most expensive school in the whole SE /SS Nigeria and so did my other siblings. I was chauffeured to school everyday in Citroen.

Someday I will post the picture of the whole compound where I am building, a mix of old and contemporary mansions is one evidence of family past and present position.

Beside my mansion are two others, my brother's and my dads. My brother mansion in the village did not stop him from completing his 32 units of flats last year ( Onye buru ebu, ebu go). If I mention his companies name here, my identity would be revealed because its a household name

In terms of cheap housing in the US, in planned communities there is hardly any relatively cheap single family houses among other big mansions in those specified neighborhood

When family people with kids buy cheap houses, they later find out that the school system in those area are bad, they now turn to expensive private schools. At the end, school fees alone for two kids would have been enough to pay for mansion somewhere with good free school system. I call it deceiving oneself not prudence or maybe ignorance.

We can never agree on this issue, I am Igbo, male.

sonnie10:
One prayer point of every Igbo family is for God never to never allow any woman that would discourage their sons from building a befitting house in village in their life. That prayer is still being said even till as we are talking.

I can only speak for myself and how I have planned to live my life. Upbringing has little or nothing to do with pursuit of personal happiness. Your premise is that impoverished background is the reason why people do some of the these things, and that is wrong. I for one is an exception.
My parents did extremely well in their days. As a matter of fact I went to the most expensive school in the whole SE /SS Nigeria and so did my other siblings. I was chauffeured to school everyday in Citroen.

Someday I will post the picture of the whole compound where I am building, a mix of old and contemporary mansions is one evidence of family past and present position.

Beside my mansion are two others my brother's and my dads. My brother mansion in the village did not stop him from completing his 32 units of flats last year ( Onye buru ebu, ebu go). If I mention his companies name here, my identity would be revealed because its a household name

In terms of cheap housing in the US, in planned communities there is hardly any relatively cheap single family houses among other big mansions in those specified neighborhood

When family people with kids buy cheap houses, they later find out that the school system in those area are bad, they now turn to expensive private schools. At the end, school fees alone for two kids would have been enough to pay for mansion somewhere with good free school system. I call it deceiving oneself not prudence or maybe ignorance.

We can never agree on this issue, I am Igbo, male.

LOL your first paragraph is the one that interests me. Incidentally, the prayer of every female like me, born into a household where we are treasured and respected and elevated like our male siblings, raised strong and proud, is that we never end up with domineering, controlling men who are close minded and irrevocably stuck in traditions that dictate they must impress all and sundry and who would never listen to the counsel of their female partners.

This is the prayer I pray for my nieces.

Crack I saw in a building, Even the lintel too crack.

MMotimo:
Unpopular opinion (?):

These unhealthy rivalries, ego drives and need to show off are some of the major causes of the current state of our morals as a nation and it is not restricted to the people of the SE alone. I can’t speak for the north because I don’t know enough northerners to make a judgment but these mindsets permeate the whole of southern Nigeria from the Yorubas of the SW, all across our country’s southern regions. Please note the use of the word “average “ in my write up below, I’d hate to see any hasty responses that ignored that qualifier.

These “ideologies “ are one of the reasons overseas prisons, from Asia to Europe to the USA are flooded with Kayodes, Nosas, Emekas and all manner of southerners. The journey to riches at all costs with no boundaries. The average southerner desires wealth , first and foremost to prove that they have arrived. Personal utility/benefit of the riches is secondary. Part of human development is mental development. I’m old fashioned myself in a lot of ways but when it comes to finance, I allow little room for sentiments. Speaking to the SE aspirations already mentioned by several people, it’s interesting that we have a number of Igbo friends, professionals with good jobs, great incomes with the financial resources to build mansions in the village yet have no desire to do such but are content with donating money to fund infrastructure that benefit the villagers. I will admit the ones we are close with were largely born and bred in Lagos so maybe that’s the difference in thinking. It’s easier to embrace certain ideologies in adulthood if they were already instilled from birth if you were born in the region. You more or less grow up with people with the same mindsets and rub minds with them. Similar to the SW asoebi, owambe crew for whom life is “party after party.” If your social circle is filled with people of a certain mindset, chances are high that you would mirror their thinking and aspirations.

In the old days, it was possible to achieve certain inspirations without crime but in Naija of 2022 with an economy that is all but comatose at this point, a person would still be panting and sweating to build white elephant projects in a village of 1500 people or less while some other southerners just want the money so that they can throw multi million naira parties with KWAM1 and Sunny Ade on stage as they celebrate 10th, 20th, 50th death anniversaries of loved ones or so they can buy an AMG G63 they are not capable of maintaining or make it rain dorime at the clubs so they can be hailed. Is it any wonder our morals as a country is in the pits when we have high end desires that cannot be supported with economic realities? Realistically, what are the chances of the average person in these groups, in Nigeria, being able to achieve such misplaced priorities through honest labor with zero criminal acts? Again, I say average. I know there is a very tiny minority that is capable of achieving without resorting to crime.

Abroad, even if they are not into crime, they are leveraged (in debt) to their eyeballs. Credit cards are maxed out, multiple loans are being serviced, little or no savings compared to incomes earned. They even patronize pay day loan lenders that charge astronomical rates because they are living pay cheque to pay cheque. With a take home pay of USD10k or more after deductions, some cannot save USD1k a month and I’m not exaggerating. It’s called “doing pass yasef.” You no fit drink water drop cup. For some, that is all on top of working 2/3 jobs to make ends meet and complete the village white elephant project back home or fund the next owambe at Eko Hotels. Even in the abroad, they are the “house poor “ Nigerians with the biggest houses that are mortgaged to the hilt, occasionally even unable to make mortgage payments. Cars nko? Multiple leased luxury vehicles to keep up with the appearance of wealth even as they are voracious consumers of luxury brand knockoffs because they cannot afford the real thing but want to keep up appearances.

At Naija parties, they are the braggarts, always ready to make grandiose announcements that may not even be rooted in fact. Picture people like N3xt. With no prompting, they announce all these assets that they own, all these projects they are funding but they won’t say pim about their debts. Ladies and gentlemen, the koko is the net worth (assets-liabilities). That is the real wealth if you are looking to measure. Some of these people have declared person bankruptcy one or more times in the US because their debt load became uncontrollable but their people in Naija have no idea.

I’m going to touch on the swimming pool idea that has become so popular now with detached homes. I can understand pools in apartment buildings that have the population and hopefully traffic and maintenance funds (service fees) to keep them viable but these tiny, soak away sized “swimming pools “ in detached homes are the ones that baffle. Note, I’m not talking about the ones you find in homes that have plenty land to accommodate beta pools. If you cannot afford enough land to accommodate the house and a proper-sized pool, why must you build a pool that is going to end up breeding mosquitoes and drowning lizards? To start with, it takes money to maintain those pools and that is on top of the house’s maintenance. Half the time, these pools are not even built to international standards but we like to copy international ideas. The average Nigerian’s idea of relaxing has nothing to do with wearing swimming trunks or being in a pool. It’s strictly isiewu/peppered snails/nkwobi/small chops, etc with alcohol but we build a pool as a status symbol even if it ends up in disrepair within a few months.

Apt. It's popular opinion, but Nigerians generally sit on the truth.

Why do people think that spending big on luxuries is a waste of money? I really don't understand some arguments here seriously.


It's possible to be legitimately rich and still want to have the good things of life.

During 2020, the world richest people added over $5trn to their collective wealth. Rolls-Royce made their biggest sales same year. Do you know why, the rich realized how quickly and vain this life is. There's so much you can invest. You as the person making the money deserves to enjoy part of it. You can't boil the money or cook it. You will rather spend it on what your neighbors and folks alike will call "showoff"

michlins:
I'm sorry if I sounded disrespectful and commanding. I just want to pick your brain as you have displayed you have wealth of knowledge to share

First, I’ll tell you the reasons for which I do not work:

I do not work to impress anyone
I do not work to compete with or rival anyone
I do not work to pepper anyone
Let’s just say I do not work to keep up with the Joneses and in fact, I have no Joneses in my life
I derive no pleasure in publicity that stems from anything I own or do
I am not comfortable with anyone feeling I am more than them or better just because of economic disparities


I work because God has blessed me with the physical and mental resources to be able to do my job
I work so that I can do my quota by paying tax to support the social welfare system that takes care of the have nots in the society and keeps our social infrastructure going
I work because we have achieved success in raising kids with the right moral values, kids not consumed with the idea of money, kids I can trust to be prudent with their inheritance
I work so that I can have enough for my needs and desires and have excess to be generous towards others, to be the reason why someone still believes in miracles
I work so that I can support my husband to create the utmost financial comfort for our family
I work so that I will not be dependent on anyone in my old age
I work so that our children will never have to worry about money
I work so that our kids do not lack and so that we can give them an even better life than we had
I work so that we can donate money to social causes like cancer research
I work so that I can buy any comfort I desire and splurge on overpriced luxuries when my husband agrees
I work so that I can pay a tithe to further the work of God’s church
I work so that I can invest to show our kids that in the end, it’s not how much you make, it’s how much you save
I work so that I can show my kids that honest labor can lead to rewards beyond the imagination and there’s never a reason to steal or cheat to make headway.

I’ll stop here but I will say that I’m not a typical Naija woman and my value system reflects that. I am not mother Teresa, I am not an angel but I am a simple person with simple convictions . You’ll see that most of the lines are inter-twinned.

MMotimo:
First, I’ll tell you the reasons for which I do not work:

I do not work to impress anyone
I do not work to compete with or rival anyone
I do not work to pepper anyone
Let’s just say I do not work to keep up with the Joneses and in fact, I have no Joneses in my life
I derive no pleasure in publicity that stems from anything I own or do
I am not comfortable with anyone feeling I am more than them or better just because of economic disparities


I work because God has blessed me with the physical and mental resources to be able to do my job
I work so that I can do my quota by paying tax to support the social welfare system that takes care of the have nots in the society and keeps our social infrastructure going
I work because we have achieved success in raising kids with the right moral values, kids not consumed with the idea of money, kids I can trust to be prudent with their inheritance
I work so that I can have enough for my needs and desires and have excess to be generous towards others, to be the reason why someone still believes in miracles
I work so that I can support my husband to create the utmost financial comfort for our family
I work so that I will not be dependent on anyone in my old age
I work so that our children will never have to worry about money
I work so that our kids do not lack and so that we can give them an even better life than we had
I work so that we can donate money to social causes like cancer research
I work so that I can buy any comfort I desire and splurge on overpriced luxuries when my husband agrees
I work so that I can pay a tithe to further the work of God’s church
I work so that I can invest to show our kids that in the end, it’s not how much you make, it’s how much you save
I work so that I can show my kids that honest labor can lead to rewards beyond the imagination and there’s never a reason to steal or cheat to make headway.

I’ll stop here but I will say that I’m not a typical Naija woman and my value system reflects that. I am not mother Teresa, I am not an angel but I am a simple person with simple convictions . You’ll see that most of the lines are inter-twinned.

Them ask you 2 reasons you are giving 100 vague reasons. Give 2 so that people can put mouth, or do you want us to be responding to you 100 reasons? 2 sentences, maximum of 4

Plus

This is not a personality contest or a feminist power game against men.

michlins:
Why do people think that spending big on luxuries is a waste of money? I really don't understand some arguments here seriously.


It's possible to be legitimately rich and still want to have the good things of life.

During 2020, the world richest people added over $5trn to their collective wealth. Rolls-Royce made their biggest sales same year. Do you know why, the rich realized how quickly and vain this life is. There's so much you can invest. You as the person making the money deserves to enjoy part of it. You can't boil the money or cook it. You will rather spend it on what your neighbors and folks alike will call "showoff"

Because they never made any money themselves,
so they despite those who made . Forget the pretence, everyone is a Bill Gates online, even me, am Jeff Bezos

mufutau55:
I fell into same situation too when I built my 7 bedrooms ensuite duplex. All my children and grand-children are born abroad, although I have introduced them to Nigeria life but I still dont see them coming to live in Nigeria with all these happenings. But I have learnt from my mistake o; all other builds are not this big anymore. God help us.

@EgunMogaji.... with my Igbo roots, I like big "Obi" o.

Hajji M.

I learnt the lesson from my uncle. Massive 8 bedroom duplex with two bedroom boys quarter. Today, all the kids are in UK, Canada, Copenhagen, Denmark and Ibadan. The house was a beehive of activities in the 90s through the mid 2000 as family members visited in their numbers from the East.
Today, when one talks in the house, it echoes. His two gigantic Listers are packed in the generator's house, unserviceable. The house continue to dilapidate, except when the one that lives in Ibadan comes around, he tries to do some patchy work.
Those abroad don't stay when they come to Nigeria with family. The stay in hotel and visit. The house is no more conducive. The small Gen cannot carry AC .

Hajj, you can still repurpose it at the appropriate time if you want. Nothing spoil. It is still an asset.

Focusmind:
I learnt the lesson from my uncle. Massive 8 bedroom duplex with two bedroom boys quarter. Today, all the kids are in UK, Canada, Copenhagen, Denmark and Ibadan. The house was a beehive of activities in the 90s through the mid 2000 as family members visited in their numbers from the East.
Today, when one talks in the house, it echoes. His two gigantic Listers are packed in the generator's house, unserviceable. The house continue to dilapidate, except when the one that lives in Ibadan comes around, he tries to do some patchy work.
Those abroad don't stay when they come to Nigeria with family. The stay in hotel and visit. The house is no more conducive. The small Gen cannot carry AC .

Hajj, you can still repurpose it at the appropriate time if you want. Nothing spoil. It is still an asset.

If the house is to be sold today, how much money do you think it will fetch?

Am not only a doctor of medicine, I can lecture you all on finance.

A house built in the 90s in IB Town will be in a prominent site today and can fetch multi millions, the old man can cash out big still. Supposing he bought one half plot and built two bedroom BQ since then, it will still be worth nothing today. When you're big, you're big.

MMotimo:
First, I’ll tell you the reasons for which I do not work:

I do not work to impress anyone
I do not work to compete with or rival anyone
I do not work to pepper anyone
Let’s just say I do not work to keep up with the Joneses and in fact, I have no Joneses in my life
I derive no pleasure in publicity that stems from anything I own or do
I am not comfortable with anyone feeling I am more than them or better just because of economic disparities


I work because God has blessed me with the physical and mental resources to be able to do my job
I work so that I can do my quota by paying tax to support the social welfare system that takes care of the have nots in the society and keeps our social infrastructure going
I work because we have achieved success in raising kids with the right moral values, kids not consumed with the idea of money, kids I can trust to be prudent with their inheritance
I work so that I can have enough for my needs and desires and have excess to be generous towards others, to be the reason why someone still believes in miracles
I work so that I can support my husband to create the utmost financial comfort for our family
I work so that I will not be dependent on anyone in my old age
I work so that our children will never have to worry about money
I work so that our kids do not lack and so that we can give them an even better life than we had
I work so that we can donate money to social causes like cancer research
I work so that I can buy any comfort I desire and splurge on overpriced luxuries when my husband agrees
I work so that I can pay a tithe to further the work of God’s church
I work so that I can invest to show our kids that in the end, it’s not how much you make, it’s how much you save
I work so that I can show my kids that honest labor can lead to rewards beyond the imagination and there’s never a reason to steal or cheat to make headway.

I’ll stop here but I will say that I’m not a typical Naija woman and my value system reflects that. I am not mother Teresa, I am not an angel but I am a simple person with simple convictions . You’ll see that most of the lines are inter-twinned.

has it occurred to you that some people have done everything you listed here and still have insane amount of money left and they legitimately made it too. So they can afford to splurge it on mansions,cars or very expensive vacations.


We're all different people. We derive pleasure in different things. Your source of pleasure might sound stupid to me but it's your money and your choice. Same goes here too