₦airaland Forum

Good day my fellow Nairalanders!!!, I will be brief and precise to the situation . It all started 19yrs ago, when my father chased my mother away and married another woman , I am the first born and I already have three other siblings , now we are ten , the second wife gave birth to six and she is still pregnant. My dad was financially buoyant to cater for the family because he deals on drugs and due to high demand money flows in but in the last six years things have changed especially when he had problem with Nafdac people , he was banned from selling drugs and he switched to motor parts business which is not as lucrative as drug business. Seeing d situation of things and having known first hand experience of bboth business , I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility , I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

Hmmm

Damn 10 kids . Igbos too dey give birth and everyone will be calling northerners. So disgusting.

He divorced your mum and married another wife then asked you to be sponsoring and catering for the other woman's children

Why on earth would you do that

I would have blocked them all off and distance myself from home a long time ago. Your siblings should be ok for you to cater for without adding unnecessary rubbish to it all in the name of extended family.

In such family setting, your first priority should be your 3 younger sisters (from your mum) , your step mother who is busy having children as if she is in competition with your mother that has already left, should figure out with your father on how to provide for the children they are busy having.

It is not your responsibility, it is theirs and don't allow your father to emotionally blackmail you to take up responsibilities that belongs to him and his wife.

Tokskob2008:
He divorced your mum and married another wife then asked you to be sponsoring and catering for the other woman's children

Why on earth would you do that

I would have blocked them all off and distance myself from home a long time ago. Your siblings should be ok for you to cater for without adding unnecessary rubbish to it all in the name of extended family.

...can u imagine that

greenie77:
In such family setting, your first priority should be your 3 younger sisters (from your mum) , your step mother who is busy having children as if she is in competition with your mother that has already left, should figure out with your father on how to provide for the children they are busy having.

It is not your responsibility, it is theirs and don't allow your father to emotionally blackmail you to take up responsibilities that belongs to him and his wife.

...here lies the solution..

Pablo9090:
I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility , I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

They say, "There is no honor amongst thieves". What are the chances that your father will oust your involvement in the drug business should you deny his request to carry the load that is his second wife and their welfare?

Rent aonther apartment and leave him alone with his wife and children.

Take your immediate siblings along, and better their live.

No matter what u do for your step, your father will never say its enough. Cos their mother is there to ginger your papa to demand for more.

She may even make you abandon your siblings to start taking care of hers.

Leave.....

Please don't bother yourself with catering for his 7 children. If they don't know how to do family planning, that is their problem. You that should be thinking of starting your own family, your father is still breeding kids for you to father.

Don't give in to any emotional blackmail. Let him father his children. You are already helping with your other siblings. If you take care of them, they will keep having more. After all, you are there to cater for them.

If you believe or think that it's your responsibility to take care or sponsor your step mom's children ,then you are a grown up fóól,

So your father's only responsibility is to just fvck and produce children like Ghana hen?
I'm very sorry to say this, your father's statement is a statement of an irresponsible father

Your life is more paramount, my sister always say this "whatever i do for you is just a privilege not a priority".

Even whatever you do for your siblings (your mom's children) it's a privilege not priority.

Use your brain.

Bros..... Ur father sef ehnnnnn no try at all...


But this is my advice, if you know Dt u can help your step siblings, pls help them.. Not for your father sake or their mother sake but for the siblings future...... It doesn't matter how u put it, they are your bloodline.......

If you can't cater for their responsibility, don't even try... But if you can, pls do for the innocent kids..... They didn't bring themselves into the world, they were brought here and met themselves in such situation...

Pablo9090:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders!!!, I will be brief and precise to the situation . It all started 19yrs ago, when my father chased my mother away and married another woman , I am the first born and I already have three other siblings , now we are ten , the second wife gave birth to six and she is still pregnant. My dad was financially buoyant to cater for the family because he deals on drugs and due to high demand money flows in but in the last six years things have changed especially when he had problem with Nafdac people , he was banned from selling drugs and he switched to motor parts business which is not as lucrative as drug business. Seeing d situation of things and having known first hand experience of bboth business , I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility , I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

So, now that you are getting better financially, what have you done for your mother?



Let's start from there.

If you're living with him, pack out first.
Afterwards, block him.
If he comes to look for you at work, greet him well and say you will see what you can do.
Have a budget and stick to it. Help the siblings you can help within the budget. Have your savings that you can never touch- Save 30% if possible and unfailingly.
Once your siblings finish school, they should help the younger ones if they can.
You can't cater for 9 children as a young man na. If it was that easy, your dad too should do it na. Or what's his job as their father?
I don't know how parents are able to cater for more than 3 children o, because na to just run away

Pablo9090:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders!!!, I will be brief and precise to the situation . It all started 19yrs ago, when my father chased my mother away and married another woman , I am the first born and I already have three other siblings , now we are ten , the second wife gave birth to six and she is still pregnant. My dad was financially buoyant to cater for the family because he deals on drugs and due to high demand money flows in but in the last six years things have changed especially when he had problem with Nafdac people , he was banned from selling drugs and he switched to motor parts business which is not as lucrative as drug business. Seeing d situation of things and having known first hand experience of bboth business , I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility , I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

This is very simple

Get married as soon as possible and start having your own children, instead is training those that are not your biological

Secondly concentrate on your own siblings and still love your steps

Lastly plan, my brother plan, if you don't plan you may end up training those children he is breeding and that's it

Your dad wants to influence you towards your steps, he will soon get old and thats when you will know how far

tensazangetsu20:
Damn 10 kids . Igbos too dey give birth and everyone will be calling northerners. So disgusting.

Did you specifically read in the op that they were Igbo?
How did you come to that conclusion?

Mariangeles:
Did you specifically read in the op that they were Igbo?
How did you come to that conclusion?

Drug business and then spare parts business. Easy to tell. Plus giving birth like slowpoke too.

tensazangetsu20:
Drug business and then spare parts business. Easy to tell. Plus giving birth like slowpoke too.

Urgh!

Tell your father it's not the responsibility of the first born to train his younger children. To add insult to injury, kids from a woman that displaced your mother from her marriage? Hell no! Tell your father you can assist with what you can afford, you first borns should stop letting your parents push responsibility that they ought to carry on you. You send them to born battalion?

Dont be confused....the kids are not your responsibilities, they are your father's. No be you born them....it is that simple. No wonder, he thought someone will clean up his mess hence the reason he kept birthing. They are not your responsibility o! You can only assist as much as you like....if you choose not to assist, no problem. It is a simple something biko.

Don't be blackmailed, you are not responsible for your siblings and step siblings however, considering our culture, I will say you should do that which you can to support them. Just tell him in plain terms you will do that which you can but you are not accepting their responsibilities. He and their mum should take care of the kids they birthed together.

That said, I have a concern about this drug business for you to say NAFDAC suspended him from the business. Please hope what you sell are genuinely manufactured drugs as these affects human lives.

sisisioge:
Dont be confused....the kids are not your responsibilities, they are your father's. No be you born them....it is that simple. No wonder, he thought someone will clean up his mess hence the reason he kept birthing. They are not your responsibility o! You can only assist as much as you like....if you choose not to assist, no problem. It is a simple something biko.

It's really surprising that parents actually birth kids for their older children to look after.
Why do they do this? Are the older kids not supposed to have their own children and families ni?

eyinjuege:
It's really surprising that parents actually birth kids for their older children to look after.
Why do they do this? Are the older kids not supposed to have their own children and families ni?

No mind them. This particular father is especially irresponsible! 6 extra kids with the 7th on the way!

Pablo9090:
Good day my fellow Nairalanders!!!, I will be brief and precise to the situation . It all started 19yrs ago, when my father chased my mother away and married another woman , I am the first born and I already have three other siblings , now we are ten , the second wife gave birth to six and she is still pregnant. My dad was financially buoyant to cater for the family because he deals on drugs and due to high demand money flows in but in the last six years things have changed especially when he had problem with Nafdac people , he was banned from selling drugs and he switched to motor parts business which is not as lucrative as drug business. Seeing d situation of things and having known first hand experience of bboth business , I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility , I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

What's up??

Pablo9090:
✓ Good day my fellow Nairalanders!!!, I will be brief and precise to the situation . It all started 19yrs ago, when my father chased my mother away and married another woman , I am the first born and I already have three other siblings , now we are ten , the second wife gave birth to six and she is still pregnant. My dad was financially buoyant to cater for the family because he deals on drugs and due to high demand money flows in but in the last six years things have changed especially when he had problem with Nafdac people , he was banned from selling drugs and he switched to motor parts business which is not as lucrative as drug business. Seeing d situation of things and having known first hand experience of bboth business , I choosed the drug business, since two years now I am doing well but my father usually gives me unnecessary expenses which am not comfortable with , I cater for my younger sisters in school to him it is not enough , he wants me to sponsor my step mum children too citing that am the first born and it is my responsibility ,
✓ I am really confused , am yet to start my own family and this man is here giving me headache like as if I was the one that brought my step siblings to this world , please if you are in my shoes what will you do ? Please moderators take it to the front page

He chased your mother away, brought in another woman and now demands that you bear that burden in his place? 😞

2. Your confusion likely stems from the fact that you are not ready to accept that your father is literally scamming you. You need to put your foot down otherwise that man is ready to make sure that your are never able to save much for your own family. In the end, these behaviors tend to cycle through to the next generation with you probably burdening your own kids in similar way and they theirs. 🤔

Lock up. Your dad is highly irresponsible. He wants to saddle you with the yoke of poverty. Let everyone go and hustle for their welfare. Of what use will you be to them if your business collapses? Na dem go still call you munu.