Dear younger sis.

Even if you do want to keep the baby which I support. Pls forget about marriage for now and go get a university education.
At 21 you still have the opportunity to make something out of life irrespective of the current situation as you have parents who are willing to train you.
Love is not sex and sex isn't love. Sex is primarily for procreation.
Can you picture you at 30 no education and probably with 3kids, would this be an ideal life for you or better still what is your plan if you drop out and move in with your bf and his family? )

Pls and pls no matter what u do,do not allow her go stay with the boy in question or his family.You guys should support her in taking care of the child when she delivers and if possible send her to go stay with a relative in another state.she should go back 2 school.If she stays with the boy her destiny don finish be that.

ZALA64:

I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.
Thank you.

Mature women with money and stable husband do cry in pregnancy...please,help me to tell you sister that she will cry a lot,as in,A LOT.She has no money,no good support system and she wants to carry pregnancy.I gave 1 young girl (21yrs that year too) this same advice in my class,she got pregnant and I begged her with everything to abort,I even used my money for transport and went to her place,still she said no.I gave her all the possible out but she was adamant with her "no"....I'm sure she regrets keeping that baby everyday now!!!

@ZALA64 Better dont give up on her, if you do it will be a pain in your ass too. I know how a friend is surfering because of his sister wrong decision. Im feeling for him.

you too will surely be pained cause its your blood.

in another way dont completely write the guy off, (tomorrow is in Gods hand). Talk to him also

It all boils down to parenting. To before warned... Parents should let their children know limits and consequences.

Ur dad is right to be angry and disappointed with her because he sent her to school to better her life but she couldn't read and pass so ur dad felt it was the boyfriends cause ..
The shame is too much for him now.

Let her be....
If she has the required support,she can finish her school while still raising her kid.
Mechanic is not a bad thing..it is a skill that can put food on her table from the guy if he manages his resources well.
The guy can plan with u people support and relocate overasea with ur sister.

" You can take the horse to the water but can't make him drink.

You even said she is strong headed. She is 21.... an adult in any part of the world. As a sister... you've done your part.... advise her... the rest is up to her. Some people have to learn the hard way... she is one. Some people cannot see farther than their nose .... but do not take advice on what lays beyond ... she is one. She is not a dullard ... but failed A Levels ... a second time ... nothing to show .... but has now brought home pregnancy. You are yet to figure out she has no interest in education but in men ... the pregnancy to show for it. Your father putting her out is not wrong ... isn't she an adult and has the right to chart her own life? What's wrong in him allowing her the freedom to do so? Under his roof she has to abide by his rules. She chose not to.... two roosters cannot live in the same pen. It is called "tough love". This is the beginning of reality check for her.... if the uncle decide to take up the burden... good for him. Why didn't the guy provide her accommodation?... you don't have to worry about marriage .... the guy is more likely to continue seeing her as long as the pregnancy is not interfering with his sexual pleasures.... and when it does.... he will be ghost. If her history is bad... the guy is likely not to own up to the pregnancy. Advising her to take an abortion is really bad advice. Allow her the time..... things will settle for better or for worse. This happens all the time in millions of families all over the world. Relax.

kkins25:
LOL. you mean no man with your below average-level faculty of thinking abi?

i know sensuble ones that took their daughters in. Infact, one was so mad that the daughter kept it hidden from them whilst she was at school. Today, she doing okay. As long as the parents support her and continue to guide her, she turn up fine. 21 century for ffs.

Oga rest please. No follow me talk . I said what I said and will say it again. No right thinking man with honor, principles, morals and ethics will wife a single mother. It just shows how pathetic, beta and simpish you are when there are many untouched godly beautiful ladies it's another man's unfinished or paused game I will go and be playing(God forbid) asides that you are responsible for another man's child

Maybe you were raised by a single mum or your sisters are single baby mamas and you intend to marry one yourself that's why you turn advocate for single mothers association

My advice to your younger sister is that bringing a child to the world is a huge responsibility and it is quite expensive, from the first month of pregnancy to the day of delivery u would need nothing less than 500k to bring a little human being into the world. Before you start talking about pampers, and baby food,

I know abortion is a sin in some religious beliefs but having a baby now will distort her life and she will have to work extra hard later in life to reach her true potentials later in life(that is if she and the guy are lucky).

And then there is a possibility of the said guy being a deadbeat father with no source of income and possibly without a roof over his own head not to talk of a mother and child.

I will stop here, i really don't like advising people so she is lucky. I have seen friends make these mistakes and they are struggling today.

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

You see girls matter ehn..i don give up..the best thing be say una try una best girl wey come life come suffer go still suffer no matter how una try reach..shey she talk say she wan get belle and keep am..make she begin hustle ooh ..cos that boy go take her eyes see ween abi she think say na love dey shark am...when bills enter e go clear na una go still be the saving grace..make una tell am ...say wetin she she make she carry am ooh as she don big.

Abortion is out of the picture but a guy that is not well to do, he can't even take care of himself talk more of the girl and child....what is he thinking impregnating a lady.

The truth is the lady will definitely suffer in the hands of the guys family, mother inlaw will show her small pepper. The girl should forget love it will not and will never take her far she is really in a mess she need to calm down and think what she will do with her life now cause any decision she makes now will definitely make the matter either worst or better.

Young lady (pregnant girl), yours is not the end of the world. Focus on TWO THINGS: 1) Preparing for a safe delivery, 2) Learning skills to make money and survive.
Do not marry until you are VERY SURE and mature in age. That said, I wish you the very best sweet heart. I know you must feel low right now. Be strong!

Lot of useless father out there,how can you throw a child away because she got pregnant by mistake? Infact it should serve as eye opener for such father,take good care of the pregnant and send her back to school once she put to bed

Wish she could come stay with you make you pour more akamu inside her abi

Bad boy

You won add belle ontop trouble belle

Kosoco:
Your father should rescind his decision.... which your sister could come stay with me. But who got her pregnant?

bencarson007:
One of the worst things to happen to one at this age and time is to be a single parent and worst still a single parent with a child from someone that is a no no.

Whilst abortion is bad, your baby sister is sitting on a keg of about to explode gunpowder.

I have been there and as a single father who had a child with a not compatible lady from a home like the one you painted, I live to regret to this day. Worse still I am almost like a condemned material because the said kid is a boy. Now almost no woman wants to touch me with a 500 metre pole because according to them, I already have a heir and I am bad news. Lol...

You see that love wey dey shack sister 21 like shakitibobo will soon disappear like a ghost and when the chips are down, she will live to regret it. Make she dey there dey form Rihanna first. Her eyes go clear soon.

As for you please don't abandon her but still be her big sister so that when yawa wan gas, she still get where she go fall back to.

Abortion like i said is bad but for now, best option is ABORT MISSION.

CODE RED...

build and maintain a good masculine frame(financially and body-wise),single fathers are never a bad market,except you are financially handicapped.
There are a lot of nice single ladies that would gladly accept to be yours

Lesson to learn:

When your sister, child fails to get admission at the first attempt immediately leaving secondary school. You need to pay close attention to her activities.

This kind of things - unwanted pregnancy, bad gang, weed smoking etc. results.

All they know is sex!!!

you never gain admission into the university, you already having sex....shame on you!

Don't blame grandpa, he is scared of liabilities, miss no shame, it is better you press code red with immediate effect

fools, they Keep overpopulating this useless country with unwanted pregnancy.

The deed has been done already, your parents should start thinking of how to collect the child from her father 6 months or a year of nursing.
They should help her care for the child while she goes to school.
Simple.

Dont abort the kid, try to she may have to put off her studies temporarily, to at least wean the child, but nothing is impossible if family decides to help out, she can still complete her studies and raise the child.
Children should not suffer for the bad choices made by their parents.

tiswell:
build and maintain a good masculine frame(financially and body-wise),single fathers are never a bad market,except you are financially handicapped.
There are a lot of nice single ladies that would gladly accept to be yours

Depends on what you call financially handicapped. My income is 6 figures monthly so I don't think money is an issue. As for looks, I am not bad looking at all.

You have no idea of what a male child is these days with all the wild girls and wild advise they get on the streets. If the heir is not from their womb, Bleep it they are not interested as they feel that someone someday will come grab all they sweated for.

I know what I am saying. I am in that position right now. I also have a friend in the same mess. He is 40 now and has an 18 year old son from a past fling in his younger days. The last lady left him last year and that was after he tried to tell her about his son. Aunty Japa. My friend earns close to 600k a month and drives a posh SUV. trust me, the girls that stayed just ate some good money and simply moved.

No be only women dey suffer this single parent thing . men are now being caught up by their past sins.

Anyways thanks for your comment. Na me wear the shoe so knows where it pinches.

Enjoy ur day jare make I go continue my cry and search

Op you no try oo.....nairaland wey somany bad mouthed Mofos full naim you tell your kid sister to come see comments...anyways happy comment reading.

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

Your sister is being foolish. She wants to sell her future for what we can't even tell. This isn't about religion but her survival which you rightly pointed out but she wants to go to where even angels fear to thread. Just let her know that if she goes she only has herself to blame for whatever outcome she gets. Your dad is not reacting well to this issue as well. This not the time to disown her. She has already made one mistake the way he is acting is only going to compound the issue because she is obviously missing parental guidance.

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

There is so many wrongs and not just on her part too. The fact that your concern goes beyond the religious aspect it’s a big wrong. The fact that you want her to abort the pregnancy is a huge wrong. I would assume that you are Muslim since you brought up the religion part, this will mean you and your sister are terrible Muslims. A Muslim woman would know not to associate with a Christian man (only our men can marry Christian women). That part alone is a sin as she has gone against Allah SWT’s command. Fornication is also a sin. But so is abortion (same as murder) and so is making religion take a back step as a Muslim.
Too many wrongs cannot make a right. The deed has already been done. Your sister needs to keep the pregnancy. You and your sister need to educate yourselves more on Islam. Your sister needs to end her relationship with the man and she needs to repent. Your father’s reaction is understandable but with time he’ll come around so long as he sees your sister is repentant in her actions and her words.
Religion (both Islam and Christianity) is very important because it has a blueprint of how we should live our lives even in this century. Being a Muslim or a Christian by name is not enough, knowing your religion deeply is.

Everything that happened is normal..no issues with the preg cuz she is an adult..but raising a child in this buhari regime is hell..common pampers is out of reach..i paid 60k for pre kg last month.that 60k carry me reach 300l for uni..the main problem is d wicked mother imlaws and hus siblings..i pray she doesn't face wat my aunty faced in the hands of inlaws if she does just like my aunt she may not pass age 38 sorry o..to her she is in love with the guy but no marriage is btw her and his family.if inlaws give u prob my sis u go pray make rapture come now now.if the guy is d first or only son that is d end just rest

CountVersailles:
It's really sad what has happened to your sister. But firstly I put the fault at the door of your father. He didn't make the right decisions. I'm sure he's one of those people who think being strict with his children is the best way to raise them. I'm sure his eyes don clear now. He needs to grow up and start taking the right decisions starting with welcoming your sister back and offering her a good support system.

Your sister on the other hand needs to pick herself back up. It's not going to be easy, but the earlier the better. She's still young at 21 and this is the time to do it. By the time she's 30 and she hasn't achieved much, she'll look back and regret not making healthy decisions. At this stage it won't even matter whether she's married to the guy, enjoying a blissful marriage or not, or raising a child. Nothing would matter. Time would be far too gone by 30 and picking herself up at that time will not be an easy thing. There have been multiple cases like this and most of it ended up bad. It'll be incredibly surprising if she turns out to be an exception. That won't happen.

I'm not sure how you jumped to blame the father...hope you understand it is the same father that raised the op writing this? If the op turned out well, then who go become poki go become poki pikin!!!!

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

this is just a one sided story to make the situation look bad. The real truth is that religion is the issue here, ur family doesn't like him because he is a Christian, all this story of the guy family look curse, bla bla is juzt a cock and bull story. If they truly love themselves and have a better plan for each, dont be surprised they might do well in life. Whatever d parents of both party thinks doesn't matter

Favfables1:
A 21year old girl is an adult, so you can't decide for her, you can only advice her and if after that, she chooses not to follow your advice, you simply let her be ...

Allow her face the consequences of her decision.... I know you love her and all,but you can't force an adult to listen if they don't want to, so let her be...

yen yen yen

Dmamasboy:


There is so many wrongs and not just on her part too. The fact that your concern goes beyond the religious aspect it’s a big wrong. The fact that you want her to abort the pregnancy is a huge wrong. I would assume that you are Muslim since you brought up the religion part, this will mean you and your sister are terrible Muslims. A Muslim woman would know not to associate with a Christian man (only our men can marry Christian women). That part alone is a sin as she has gone against Allah SWT’s command. Fornication is also a sin. But so is abortion (same as murder) and so is making religion take a back step as a Muslim.
Too many wrongs cannot make a right. The deed has already been done. Your sister needs to keep the pregnancy. You and your sister need to educate yourselves more on Islam. Your sister needs to end her relationship with the man and she needs to repent. Your father’s reaction is understandable but with time he’ll come around so long as he sees your sister is repentant in her actions and her words.
Religion (both Islam and Christianity) is very important because it has a blueprint of how we should live our lives even in this century. Being a Muslim or a Christian by name is not enough, knowing your religion deeply is.

better than u who kill infidels she didnt kill..get ur head off amajiri..hisband sharia law..b.sc in islamic study and watch nigeria turn to london..y i hate muslims they cant tolerate others but want others to tolerate them..

the whole family looked cursed to me

Is it because they are not rich?

Your father is a big problem, he is one of those parents that depend on children for their own retirement plans.

he believes your sister is spoiling his plan.

You said "your sister is olodo" that's fine, let go for fashion designing or hairdresser, or is that a shame to your family again?

your family is one of those proud families.

zehn

ZALA64:
Good evening dear Nairalanders, I have a story to share with you and I will appreciate your candid advice

I have a junior sister of about 21 years of age, finished secondary school in 2019, tried gaining admission but didn't get eventually, also did A level but at the end, there was nothing to show for, this isn't cause she is a dullard but something Sha must end up something, she applied for another A level at Unilag, and was pushing through not until the news of her pregnancy came in, she was two months gone when I got to know, I really tried to persuade her to abort because I was concerned about her Education and our parent feeling but she insisted and I allowed her take her decision, we informed my dad and mum then the big issue starts, right now my dad does not want to have anything to do with her, she is currently living at my dad's junior brother house

The most annoying part to my dad was that she got pregnant to a Christian which my dad would not approve of, even when they tried to talk to him multiple, right now, he does not care if she exist or not, all he knows is she can't live under his roof anymore

I am the elder sister and my consign goes beyond the religion issue, the boys mother is some sort of hell, didn't like my sister and she looks really fetish, the whole family looked cursed to me, the guy is the only one that managed to finish ND and he is currently learning Mechanic after his ND Program, I have tried to persuade my sister to not have the intention of getting married to the guy now, because first she's young, second how would she feed and third that family is a no no, the red flags are just too glaring, Her strong head is just too much which is why I'm putting it out, if she's reading comments from another person maybe she'd pick something, I have invited her as a guest to Nairaland and she would be seeing all your advices. Kindly help us.

Thank you.

21 is the right age to get pregnant for a woman. Its better than having boyfriend up and Dan. They should get married. Ur dad na mumu....