₦airaland Forum

tolakadupe:
she should be helping the family, abeg rest, let her finish school first

I didn't mean she should be helping the family the family don't need her help
If she's working or eager to learn anything we will support we're not hungry.

Prayfortheworld:
You dy craze no be her mate dy do a lot dy go school at the same time.
The family no even need her help make she dy help herself we no go complain

you lack sense

Lekan239:
you lack sense

Go tell am your papa

Prayfortheworld:
You dy craze no be her mate dy do a lot dy go school at the same time.
The family no even need her help make she dy help herself we no go complain

Baba na you be the problem


Leave your sister alone

obinna58:
Baba na you be the problem


Leave your sister alone

At 24?
Ok oh

Prayfortheworld:
My sister is 24 she have thesame mentality with your sister and honestly is eating me up.

My sister has never worked before in her life, she ask my mom or me for money.. she can't buy anything for herself if you didn't buy it for her, everything she's wearing are mostly clothes i bought for her and she's still using the phone my mom bought for her 2018

I've adviced her but nothing dy enter her head. She's in higher institution
I go through her phone always she's a decent girl but she don't have that hustling spirit in her. I'm just scared for her because i don't want her to suffer in her marriage.
though she don't ask men for Money instead she ask me or my mom I'm tired the burden is too much. Someone that should be helping the family by now. Sometimes i just wish my mom gave birth to just me and our last born

Omo there is nothing wrong with your sister. Women aren't even supposed to work, they're are supposed to be taken care of by their husbands. Na hardship make men talk say make their wife dey do small things to support the family.

Prayfortheworld:
At 24?
Ok oh

You're only meant to guide her wherever she needs you. At the right time she'll understand responsibility.
You can as well initiate conversation with her and know her plans/dreams and be there to remind her how best she could achieve it



Never mock her or give her the mindset she's a failure cos that looks like what're doing already.
Let her know you believe in her

Brighton1:
My post might be lengthy, but Pls read because I need advice.

I've been living in Lagos for 5yrs now, even before the death of my father (R.I.P). I lost my dad 4yrs ago. I'm the eldest and I have two younger ones. I'm a contractor.

My mom and my siblings are based in ekpoma edo state. I call them regularly, I advice them, I send them money for up-keep, I visit home once in a while. I play both role of a father and elder bro to my siblings. I don't want them feel the absence of my father.

My construction team got a contract at Auchi, it was an opportunity for me to visit home often.

My younger sister is a 300L student in AAU. She is 22yrs old, she don't read, she's always on social media (tik tok & Co.) Nobody can touch her phone, if my lil bro wants to browse something important or play game with her phone, she will just be screaming at him as if Ogun is about to strike her... Don't touch my phone o, drop it down.

Even the phone (iPhone 7) I was the one who gave it to her when I bought my current phone (Samsung). I promised my lil bro he shouldn't worry, as soon as I get paid for the job I'm currently working on, I will get him a phone before I travel back to Lagos.

Okay, Yesterday I only said, now that ASUU is on strike, find something to do, get busy, learn a skill, even if it's fashion designing, make-up or catering.

She was just giving me flamzy excuses, and the annoying part is she will be raising her voice while talking to me. I almost used a belt to flog her if not for my mom that held me.

My father's house is a bungalow, and we have a tanent, Anytime I receive the house rent (200k yearly) I send everything to my mother. My mom would be like I should hold some for myself but I said NO, they need it more.

AAU school fees is now x4 compared to what I paid back then when I was there. Yet I'm the one providing 80% of her school fees while my mom 20%.

My Lil bro who's just 18 yrs old is more hardworking than her, he goes to my mom's shop to help her out, he's learning how to cut hair and he plays instruments very good (piano & bass guitar). He plays for a church that pays him 5k per week (he plays weds & sun for the church). I pray uniben grant him admission this year.

My father was a nice man, he disciplined us and his death won't change that. I want him to be proud of me wherever he is now.

Nairaland family, I need your advice. My sister depend so much on the money I give her. I don't want her to be a leech.

You're responsible and i know how bad you feel about ur sister. Continue talking to her and hopefully she'll change one day. Always make her her see reasons why life shouldn't be taken as a platter and that she needs to work as there's dignity in labour...

Well am a building engineer too based in Ekpoma we could meet up anytime you're around

Prayfortheworld:
My sister is 24 she have thesame mentality with your sister and honestly is eating me up.

My sister has never worked before in her life, she ask my mom or me for money.. she can't buy anything for herself if you didn't buy it for her, everything she's wearing are mostly clothes i bought for her and she's still using the phone my mom bought for her 2018

I've adviced her but nothing dy enter her head. She's in higher institution
I go through her phone always she's a decent girl but she don't have that hustling spirit in her. I'm just scared for her because i don't want her to suffer in her marriage.
though she don't ask men for Money instead she ask me or my mom I'm tired the burden is too much. Someone that should be helping the family by now. Sometimes i just wish my mom gave birth to just me and our last born

You are Tired of your Sisters' demands already??

Now....Imagine....the Man that she will Transfer all these Liability to..... in the Name of Boyfriend or Husband.

WOW!! Really Sad...

There are quite lots of good advice offered to you already on this platform.....I wish you all the best in bringing her back to her senses coz to me...She is already lost but can still be found.

You’re a good guy. God bless you. As for your sister, she’s not the only one turning out like this. I assure you. Blame today’s society. In fact, it takes God’s grace to raise decent, God-fearing children these days.

Brighton1:
My post might be lengthy, but Pls read because I need advice.

I've been living in Lagos for 5yrs now, even before the death of my father (R.I.P). I lost my dad 4yrs ago. I'm the eldest and I have two younger ones. I'm a contractor.

My mom and my siblings are based in ekpoma edo state. I call them regularly, I advice them, I send them money for up-keep, I visit home once in a while. I play both role of a father and elder bro to my siblings. I don't want them feel the absence of my father.

My construction team got a contract at Auchi, it was an opportunity for me to visit home often.

My younger sister is a 300L student in AAU. She is 22yrs old, she don't read, she's always on social media (tik tok & Co.) Nobody can touch her phone, if my lil bro wants to browse something important or play game with her phone, she will just be screaming at him as if Ogun is about to strike her... Don't touch my phone o, drop it down.

Even the phone (iPhone 7) I was the one who gave it to her when I bought my current phone (Samsung). I promised my lil bro he shouldn't worry, as soon as I get paid for the job I'm currently working on, I will get him a phone before I travel back to Lagos.

Okay, Yesterday I only said, now that ASUU is on strike, find something to do, get busy, learn a skill, even if it's fashion designing, make-up or catering.

She was just giving me flamzy excuses, and the annoying part is she will be raising her voice while talking to me. I almost used a belt to flog her if not for my mom that held me.

My father's house is a bungalow, and we have a tanent, Anytime I receive the house rent (200k yearly) I send everything to my mother. My mom would be like I should hold some for myself but I said NO, they need it more.

AAU school fees is now x4 compared to what I paid back then when I was there. Yet I'm the one providing 80% of her school fees while my mom 20%.

My Lil bro who's just 18 yrs old is more hardworking than her, he goes to my mom's shop to help her out, he's learning how to cut hair and he plays instruments very good (piano & bass guitar). He plays for a church that pays him 5k per week (he plays weds & sun for the church). I pray uniben grant him admission this year.

My father was a nice man, he disciplined us and his death won't change that. I want him to be proud of me wherever he is now.

Nairaland family, I need your advice. My sister depend so much on the money I give her. I don't want her to be a leech.

Bobmarie:
A 22year old? Lol.

if you do act like a conceited little brat, then no matter your age, you are never too far from an aaasswhooping (whether by people who actually care for you, or by a stranger who will be quick to put you in your place).

sadly, too many friends and family members let the above go too far....

Jennyclay:
Don't mind that @GoodHardDick he lack manners in this forum.

I'm also disappointed at MadamVanessa,.. I mean, What kind of advice is that??

It's a man. A lot of men hide behind female monikers to kiss male asse and sound "like a smart woman" to men who will shower then with likes.

Really

GoodHardDick:
OP, your sister is the type that will run away from home to go and live with a guy and starts collecting dick because of money.

Nigeria girls are so full of entitlement mentality.. Na why dem dey always use dem for rituals

The entitlement mentality is simply a symptom of the times for some women these days unfortunately. She has obviously been moving around with her ilk. Time to seize her phone and reduce her upkeep money. A few mind resetting slaps will also keep her in line as she now disrespects you which is a No No.

I have noticed women are prone to disrespect when they feel they have gotten to a stage. A few mind resetting slaps does the job or at worst, talking to her harshly is an option especially if you have a caustic tongue like mine. Works a charm and pegs her wings which obviously needs to be clipped!

Rachel98:
Bcus of Ur stupidity, U commented twice. Can't you give op a simple advice.
All you do is insult, insult and insult. Don't you ever get tired.

Was what he said not an advice? I saw the advice of seizing her phone there. I guess that is not an advice to you women, once they say the truth about most of you and you feel insulted SMH.

GoodHardDick:
Let today be the first and last time you'll ever quote me again on Nairaland.

The gbas gbos I was waiting for! On point!

GoodHardDick:
My brother, she's already a leech.

When a girl starts raising her voice at you just know that she has already started collecting dicks outside, Na why she dey get morale shout for u. Seize her phone and watch her senses come back to her.

Seize her phone & she Gets An IPhone 13. Girl wey don Dey shout back at you Dey Sleep with Cultists Already. Na dem Dey give her Morale .

9japride:
At times I wonder how you guys think you can change anyone? Someone who won spoil go spoil. Life has a way changing someone and it's not necessarily the talk of an adviser that changes the person basically.

Hmmm....this is deep

Bobmarie:
Whats wrong with a girl feeding her boyfriend?

On someone's else's money and not hers? You sef reason am na!

Bobmarie:
A 22year old? Lol.

Yes! You feel you have grown wings, you pay the consequences!

ibinaboonline:
You’re a good guy. God bless you. As for your sister, she’s not the only one turning out like this. I assure you. Blame today’s society. In fact, it takes God’s grace to raise decent, God-fearing children these days.

You forgot to mention especially the other gender with social media, TV and the friends who easily influence them they keep.

MrBrownJay1:
if you do act like a conceited little brat, then no matter your age, you are never too far from an aaasswhooping (whether by people who actualy care for you, or by a stranger who will be quick to put you in your place).

sadly, too many friends and family members let the above go too far....

Abi.

yemi1504:
On someone's else's money and not hers? You sef reason am na!

I understand your point. However, some people are just generous and not the way you make it seem. Such entitled girls will never help their boyfriends.
I helped my boyfriend with feeding and several other things when he lost his father suddenly in school. I knew I was sharing mine, but I love him and didn’t expect anything in return. Today he is four times richer than me and gives me whatever I want. We are soon to be married, I know I am loved deeply because I showed love.

Sometimes certain things happen for a reason.

yemi1504:
Yes! You feel you have grown wings, you pay the consequences!

Yeah. You’re right.

She can get a phone herself if she wants to be an adult.

MrBrownJay1:
if you do act like a conceited little brat, then no matter your age, you are never too far from an aaasswhooping (whether by people who actualy care for you, or by a stranger who will be quick to put you in your place).

sadly, too many friends and family members let the above go too far....

NO ADULT LIKES OR TOLERATES PHYSICAL ABUSE. We are not goats, we will always retaliate one way or the other.

Ass whooping solves nothing. It doesn’t work for teenagers who only find better ways to hide their transgressions, you are recommending it for a ‘full grown adult’. She is obviously not a decent, homely girl, you are basically fanning the flames. You want him to do the one that will get her mad and make her do something she regrets like moving in with a strange man or sleeping with men for money just to be independent and feel like an adult. Which is the last thing he or any other senior brother wants.

Apply wisdom when dealing with human beings, especially thoughtless ones. Your job is make them see reason, not pacify your anger.
r.

Brighton1:
My post might be lengthy, but Pls read because I need advice.

I've been living in Lagos for 5yrs now, even before the death of my father (R.I.P). I lost my dad 4yrs ago. I'm the eldest and I have two younger ones. I'm a contractor.

My mom and my siblings are based in ekpoma edo state. I call them regularly, I advice them, I send them money for up-keep, I visit home once in a while. I play both role of a father and elder bro to my siblings. I don't want them feel the absence of my father.

My construction team got a contract at Auchi, it was an opportunity for me to visit home often.

My younger sister is a 300L student in AAU. She is 22yrs old, she don't read, she's always on social media (tik tok & Co.) Nobody can touch her phone, if my lil bro wants to browse something important or play game with her phone, she will just be screaming at him as if Ogun is about to strike her... Don't touch my phone o, drop it down.

Even the phone (iPhone 7) I was the one who gave it to her when I bought my current phone (Samsung). I promised my lil bro he shouldn't worry, as soon as I get paid for the job I'm currently working on, I will get him a phone before I travel back to Lagos.

Okay, Yesterday I only said, now that ASUU is on strike, find something to do, get busy, learn a skill, even if it's fashion designing, make-up or catering.

She was just giving me flamzy excuses, and the annoying part is she will be raising her voice while talking to me. I almost used a belt to flog her if not for my mom that held me.

My father's house is a bungalow, and we have a tanent, Anytime I receive the house rent (200k yearly) I send everything to my mother. My mom would be like I should hold some for myself but I said NO, they need it more.

AAU school fees is now x4 compared to what I paid back then when I was there. Yet I'm the one providing 80% of her school fees while my mom 20%.

My Lil bro who's just 18 yrs old is more hardworking than her, he goes to my mom's shop to help her out, he's learning how to cut hair and he plays instruments very good (piano & bass guitar). He plays for a church that pays him 5k per week (he plays weds & sun for the church). I pray uniben grant him admission this year.

My father was a nice man, he disciplined us and his death won't change that. I want him to be proud of me wherever he is now.

Nairaland family, I need your advice. My sister depend so much on the money I give her. I don't want her to be a leech.

listen my dear one. I am glad u observed d dysfunctional behavioral patterns in her. Yes ur feelings & concerns re very valid. She is 22yrs Old fully conscious of her behavior & d effect it has on loving family members around her, as well as other humans who may encounter her at work place, school, church, neighborhood, or meet _ greet as such knows what accountability is. Ve u tried to communicate with her, about how such behavior of hers affects u as her sibling, even ur other younger one. Let her know u re not her father first of all, & u owe her no such responsibility that u took up & she is a full fledged adult. That whatever u do for her is out of love & compassion & that u can afford to spare some cash to support her ( that's d main reason. Not out of responsibility) & that u both grew up together as blood that's y.

Go ahead to tell her if she continues to behave in such, & such ( name d behavior that u re worried about & effects on u) manner towards u & ur other sibling, that u will have to withdraw urself & protect urself mentally, emotionally, financially & psychologically from her. Let her know that u ve expectations of her towards u give examples, to give her insight ( e.g I will like u not to speak to me in a raised voice, or in a condescending manner as u re doing rn. (State clear consequences) if u don't stop speaking to me dis Way rn, dis conversation is over. End it & Walk away. Collect urself from from her. Build a wall to protect u. Let her know that blood isn't thicker than peace of mind, & just because One is family doesn't give them d right to cause chaos in ur life or around it, drama & disrespect. Do not tolerate it. Assert urself.. tell to pick up a skill or struggle while u support her with half. Mske sure she keeps d end of ur bargain. Cut allowances now. Let her get vacational jobs there re bars ,& big supermarkets which employ student during holidays, she should not be idling around during breaks yes. Their re student that sell stuff there in d hostel give her like 40k to buy thing & sell too At least that one will be for feeding or hairdo & other things. Pay half of d school fees. She will, never be grateful in d future, she is entitled. Dis is narcissism right here do not enable it. Run to ig & follow @afriproud message her & Thank me later.

Perhaps you should try involve someone outside your immediate family circle whose opinion she tends to respect & trusts. Perhaps an aunt, uncle or a family friend to make her see life differently judging from their own life experiences that times have changed.

Prayfortheworld:
My sister is 24 she have thesame mentality with your sister and honestly is eating me up.

My sister has never worked before in her life, she ask my mom or me for money.. she can't buy anything for herself if you didn't buy it for her, everything she's wearing are mostly clothes i bought for her and she's still using the phone my mom bought for her 2018

I've adviced her but nothing dy enter her head. She's in higher institution
I go through her phone always she's a decent girl but she don't have that hustling spirit in her. I'm just scared for her because i don't want her to suffer in her marriage.
though she don't ask men for Money instead she ask me or my mom I'm tired the burden is too much. Someone that should be helping the family by now. Sometimes i just wish my mom gave birth to just me and our last born

Bobmarie:
NO ADULT LIKES OR TOLERATES PHYSICAL ABUSE. We are not goats, we will always retaliate one way or the other.

Ass whooping solves nothing. It doesn’t work for teenagers who only find better ways to hide their transgressions, you are recommending it for a ‘full grown adult’. She is obviously not a decent, homely girl, you are basically fanning the flames. You want him to do the one that will get her mad and make her do something she regrets like moving in with a strange man or sleeping with men for money just to be independent and feel like an adult. Which is the last thing he or any other senior brother wants.

Apply wisdom when dealing with human beings, especially thoughtless ones. Your job is make them see reason, not pacify your anger.
r.

an asswhooping IS wisdom...when dealing with conceited young adult who think they can treat people like shiiit because they think they are too old for an aasswhooping and/or too important in their own mind. retaliation will only get you a BIGGER aaasswhooping, lol!

immortalcrown:
I see a slay queen in your family. It seems she was pampered for being the only daughter. She is the type that will use her pocket money to feed her boyfriend on campus.

The worst part is if you reduce the money you give her for upkeep, she will use insufficient fund as an excuse to flirt. Meanwhile, she is already flirting, probably with old men. My suspicion is based on her not being afraid of you, her refusing to acquire skills for financial independence, her social media addiction and how she guards her phone as if the phone is CBN database. Maybe her nudes and porns she exchanges with her bf are on the phone. If you keep giving her enough money, people will say you used money to spoil her.

But since every option has supporters and haters, you have to try different methods. After all, each option will attract both praise and criticism. Try a different method because repetition of the same method cannot produce varied results.

The new method I suggest is reducing her upkeep money. If you keep on giving her everything, she is the type that will take in for a poor boy hoping that you will feed her, the boy and the baby she will deliver.

You spoke my mind exactly and even more.

But you forgot a word though.... Runz.
That girl is into some form of Runz and older men are her customers.

MrBrownJay1:
an asswhooping IS wisdom...when dealing with conceited young adult who think they can treat people like shiiit because they think they are too old for an aasswhooping and/or too important in their own mind. retaliation will only get you a BIGGER aaasswhooping, lol!

Smh.

I see your moniker sometimes, thought you were one of the literate ones. My bad.

Iyaebe:
Leave her alone, God will bless her with a man that'll more than take care of her.That's how all these oversabi elder brothers will not allow someone rest and have fun, they'll be behaving like monitoring spirit. Leave her alooooooooooooooone oooooooo.Raspberries what do you think?

You this witch.
So the guy should watch her younger sister go astray abi?

Your elder brothers watched men over used your pussy doesn't mean everybody should be like your elder brother.

Witch.