₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
In life expect the unexpected and plan for it. If after it all you still decide that having a kids makes sense, then be sure that it is failure on your part.

jeff1607:
1. I pray you don’t experience what can bring a family man or parents down even all the savings or properties will be sold to resolve such especially if the kids are about getting into the university or while in the university, my neighbor then while still in school has his father working in schlumberger, at year 3 , he was diagnosed with cancer and they sold virtually all they had and they were 7 in number , mother had to quit her job to cater for the man the kids, 3 had to drop out so the two who were in their finals could finish as the company had already paid him off, he got a bit better but getting another job was a problem same with the wife, the younger ones had to leave the expensive primary school n move to Fgc government school.

2. Things happen or would I say sometimes life happens, some get back on their feet others do not.

Kobojunkie:
1. Stop praying and start reasoning these things abeg!
In this life, the reality is majority of us, whether with kids or not, are bound to encounter that which will cause us to even loose it all. Some even find themselves making that choice for themselves. What then should follow is we look ahead and make better decisions where the having of children is concerned. Your story there is in no way unique nor is it shocking.

2. When have these things you described never been commonplace in all of our history as a species?

jeff1607:
Not everyone encounters mishaps while reaching that stage or getting to that level, i for one didn’t experience it but have seen people who it.

It’s all good tho

Klass99:
Do you know what's up with this family and what each child is up to now? While it is an interesting story and I feel sorry for them, I am wondering what were they doing with 7 children?

My parents had 7 of us too and I still wonder what were they thinking? The older generation didn't put a lot of thought into the things they did. They just operated with a one track mindset of, this is how things have been done so we will do it like that too.

However, when you take the time to think about stuff that really matters to you and not what a bunch of other people (i.e. society, church folks, family & friends) think is ideal or right for you. You tend to make life choices that are more beneficial to you as a person.

Quality over quantity should have been a mantra with most of our parents and even present day parents. If your neighbours had stopped at 2 or 3 kids, their suffer head for no reach as e be for them. Moreover when you plan to have kids, count yourself as one of those children and remember that even you (as a parent) will still need to feed, clothe yourself, healthcare and a bunch of other things.

So, instead of beating chest up and down saying I want 4 kids, I must have 4 kids. Consider a family of 4 only where there is a husband, wife and 2 kids. That way you don't lose your sanity or well being in the name of children are blessing, so I will have as much as I can. Las las where was the blessing in 7 kids when the patriarch lost his health and livelihood?

ImaIma1:
Please let's normalize parents feeding their children and sending them through school, and not like it is something extra they did that they have to be praised for.

When you decide to bring in innocent kids who did not asked to be brought into the world, you should have a plan for them to give them an edge in life and not burden them with your own problems.

But here you are praising parents who took care of their own children. Who else should take care of them? The village head?

The ones that didn't provide the basic education and care for their children have failed the children and society. And they should know this.

GloriousGbola:
It goes beyond that. I realise that had a very great childhood in some ways. We had video games, legos, my dad bought us a pc which was a very big deal at that time. We lived an upper middle class lifestyle. Now my dad /mum could have decided to spend all that money on themselves instead. And there are parents that do that. Parents with late model cars and expensive baubles but very very simple kids.

Some of the Behind and fresh kids you see in class, their parents are not necessarily richer than other parents.but the parents decided that their kids should enjoy thier childhood.

Klass99:
Do you know what's up with this family and what each child is up to now? While it is an interesting story and I feel sorry for them, I am wondering what were they doing with 7 children?

My parents had 7 of us too and I still wonder what were they thinking? The older generation didn't put a lot of thought into the things they did. They just operated with a one track mindset of, this is how things have been done so we will do it like that too.

However, when you take the time to think about stuff that really matters to you and not what a bunch of other people (i.e. society, church folks, family & friends) think is ideal or right for you. You tend to make life choices that are more beneficial to you as a person.

Quality over quantity should have been a mantra with most of our parents and even present day parents. If your neighbours had stopped at 2 or 3 kids, their suffer head for no reach as e be for them. Moreover when you plan to have kids, count yourself as one of those children and remember that even you (as a parent) will still need to feed, clothe yourself, healthcare and a bunch of other things.

For instance, rather than insisting on 4 kids,I must have 4 kids, consider a family of 4 instead where there is a husband, wife and 2 kids (wifey and hubby can be the other kids)That way you don't lose your sanity or well being in the name of children are blessing, so I will have as much as I can. Las las where was the blessing in 7 kids when the patriarch lost his health and livelihood?

Klass99:
Lol @ your last paragraph, you can be so dramatic. If stuff like this happens to me, the whole family will adjust to our new reality and make it work.

I was at a finance seminar some years ago where one of the facilitators shared with us the importance of making reasonable financial decisions that help us more than they hurt us.

His son used to attend the American International School in VI where fees is in dollars. He conveniently paid the first session's school fees with no qualms, then dollar went up and when his wife presented the next school fees he was so taken aback he asked her, who paid the last fees?

The fees had skyrocketed and he knew he couldn't keep up with it, he simply told his wife the boy will leave the school for another one. He said people talked (family members, school teachers) and they were subtly pressuring him to find a way around it, rather than withdraw the boy from AIS.

He refused to cave from the pressure of what other people thought or said. He withdrew his son, sent him to another school and said his son wasn't doing badly at the new place and he wasn't getting high BP nor losing sleep anymore, wondering how the fees will be paid. I just thought to myself, my kinda guy

I do not belong to the crew of, my child must not suffer. You will suffer consequences from life events and changes, while I will try to shield you as best as I can so you don't suffer unnecessarily, who are you not to suffer in the first place? Even Jesus Christ the son of God suffered and died for us, so I repeat who are you not to suffer?

ImaIma1:
Please let's normalize parents feeding their children and sending them through school, and not like it is something extra they did that they have to be praised for.

When you decide to bring in innocent kids who did not asked to be brought into the world, you should have a plan for them to give them an edge in life and not burden them with your own problems.

But here you are praising parents who took care of their own children. Who else should take care of them? The village head?

The ones that didn't provide the basic education and care for their children have failed the children and society.

And they should know this.

tensazangetsu20:
Well that's you o if I ever change my mind to have kids, those kids will have the best. They will even have trust funds that will take them to masters level should in case I kpeme when they are born. So long as I made such a selfish decision, the best I could do is make life sweet for them at least.

0neal:
So also those parents who gave birth to over half a dozen kids they cant comfortably give the best of experience, without considering economic decline as the years goes by and inevitable Pandemic...consequently creating burden for the eldest sibling and concerned relative.

They are worse than the Polithiefcians we criticise daily

Klass99:
Do you know what's up with this family and what each child is up to now? While it is an interesting story and I feel sorry for them, I am wondering what were they doing with 7 children?

My parents had 7 of us too and I still wonder what were they thinking? The older generation didn't put a lot of thought into the things they did. They just operated with a one track mindset of, this is how things have been done so we will do it like that too.

However, when you take the time to think about stuff that really matters to you and not what a bunch of other people (i.e. society, church folks, family & friends) think is ideal or right for you. You tend to make life choices that are more beneficial to you as a person.

Quality over quantity should have been a mantra with most of our parents and even present day parents. If your neighbours had stopped at 2 or 3 kids, their suffer head for no reach as e be for them. Moreover when you plan to have kids, count yourself as one of those children and remember that even you (as a parent) will still need to feed, clothe yourself, healthcare and a bunch of other things.

For instance, rather than insisting on 4 kids,I must have 4 kids, consider a family of 4 instead where there is a husband, wife and 2 kids (wifey and hubby can be the other kids)That way you don't lose your sanity or well being in the name of children are blessing, so I will have as much as I can. Las las where was the blessing in 7 kids when the patriarch lost his health and livelihood?

jeff1607:
I pray you don’t experience what can bring a family man or parents down even all the savings or properties will be sold to resolve such especially if the kids are about getting into the university or while in the university, my neighbor then while still in school has his father working in schlumberger, at year 3 , he was diagnosed with cancer and they sold virtually all they had and they were 7 in number , mother had to quit her job to cater for the man the kids, 3 had to drop out so the two who were in their finals could finish as the company had already paid him off, he got a bit better but getting another job was a problem same with the wife, the younger ones had to leave the expensive primary school n move to Fgc government school.

Things happen or would I say sometimes life happens, some get back on their feet others do not.

ImaIma1:
Why will someone sit down and have 7 kids? Do they want to take them to work on the farm or to sell them? What is the idea behind it? Didn't they know about family planning?

I don't understand the concept bwhind having so many kids. What if the man dies, what happens to the kids? They will share them among different family members?

People should start changing their mindsets abour childbearing. Even in developed countries with better prospects, people don't give birth like rabbits. Not to talk of Nigeria where there is so much uncertainty about the future.

Klass99:
Oh nice, the story had a good ending to it. Thanks for engaging back and satisfying my curiosity.

I honestly believe in this adage - The fewer, the better when it comes to children and other things too.

Society has put these two things (marriage and children) on such a high pedestal and glorified them to a point where, too many people believe without one or both them, life will be meaningless and they will be unhappy.

I have personally realized this is not true. Marriage and children are life choices, not the goals or achievements we all have to meet in order to unlock happiness in our lives.

ImaIma1:
Please let's normalize parents feeding their children and sending them through school, and not like it is something extra they did that they have to be praised for.

When you decide to bring in innocent kids who did not asked to be brought into the world, you should have a plan for them to give them an edge in life and not burden them with your own problems.

But here you are praising parents who took care of their own children. Who else should take care of them? The village head?

The ones that didn't provide the basic education and care for their children have failed the children and society. And they should know this.

ChybuzzDD:
Sometimes, these parents are not entirely to blame.

Some of them do sell those property they are supposed to rely on in their old age to train their children, and the best the children can do for these parents is to reward them by taking care of them in their old age.

tensazangetsu20:
Good education doesn't guarantee anything now. The first set of guys to get good jobs from when I graduated were all connected to those jobs by their parents. In Nigeria here, elite parents place their kids into good suitable roles. Parents wey dey pay school fees abroad for their kids to escape from the country no get 2 heads. Basic education is no more enough. We don't live in a meritocracy anymore and it's much worst here in Nigeria. There are offices you would enter in Nigeria and the first question you would be asked is who is your father?


I was watching a documentary on child bearing in China and Chinese parents even plan where their kids will work before they even birth them. Trust fund accounts are opened years before procreation. Even education is planned. The whole thing is making the government irritated as people aren't having as much kids to replace the population.

ImaIma1:
Why will someone sit down and have 7 kids? Do they want to take them to work on the farm or to sell them? What is the idea behind it? Didn't they know about family planning?

I don't understand the concept bwhind having so many kids. What if the man dies, what happens to the kids? They will share them among different family members?

People should start changing their mindsets abour childbearing. Even in developed countries with better prospects, people don't give birth like rabbits. Not to talk of Nigeria where there is so much uncertainty about the future.

Truvelisback:
Good day, Fellas. If u have parents who are well to do, and still sponsor ur schooling. I.e They provide ur needs like feeding and schooling, be very grateful to God, u might not know the hell others are passing through. Na my fellow guys this matter touch pass because na dem dey carry the burden pass in terms of getting a good job, getting married, and becoming a family man. No be Bobo ooo. hmmm, e no easy oo. If u have parents who do what i said above, just be very grateful to God. Unlike the females, weda dem go school or not, men go still marry dem. Weda dem get job or not, men go still marry dem. Weda dem broke or not, men go still marry dem. That's life for u.

tensazangetsu20:
Population will get below replacement level and the economy will stagnate.

author =tensazangetsu20

I feel that so long as children cannot give their permission to come into this world, anyone who brings them against their own permission is a wicked selfish fellow. The most devilish are the poor who chose to have children. It's so annoying. I mean you need to go to school and get licensed to even drive a car but absolutely anyone can have children. It's really crazy.

cococandy:
So how do we get their permission before giving birth to them

Or do you believe every single person on earth should refrain from having kids in order not to be wicked?