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Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally - Family - Nairaland

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Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by BluntNigerian: 9:59am On Sep 09
I don't know who needs to read this...
But then, if you are a parent seeing this, then it is very important that you read it, and understand it, and digest it.
...
If you (as parents or guardians) are always fighting in front of your children, then you are seriously abusing those kids emotionally.
..
It might not be any of my concern at the moment, but it will definitely affect me indirectly later in the future, when those kids of yours might get in contact with my kids.
And that's why it is giving me great concerns at the moment.
..
..
The other day, I was in my friend's house. One thing led to the other, and they started arguing. Before I knew what was happening, they were already shouting at themselves. I had to start listening in order to know where to come in.
Next thing I noticed was that their two-years old baby came out and started crying. On noticing that both of them didn't want to stop their shouting, the little baby started beating two of them with her little hands.
That was the time my friend's wife carried the baby, while still shouting. Baby continued crying.
I quietly took the baby from her, and then started trying to see how I still get to the root of whatever they were shouting about.
Anyways, they had always been like that, so I wasn't much bothered about them.
I always laughed at them whenever they quarrel like that, because, before you know it, they are already laughing again, over those same issues that caused their quarrels in the first place.
But then, their kids are not aware of all these.
They are seeing the people they love falling out of love, and they are broken by that.
..
Let's mind how we do things in front of our kids.
They see things differently.

73 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Amotolongbo(f): 10:09am On Sep 09
That is the truth.

The very day I was touched and felt so emotionally humbled was the time I was teaching in a private school before going to answer the Clarion call.

Then I was teaching JSS2 (3 classes, A, B and C) Computer Science and SSS classes Geography.
To make things easier for me, I did tell these JSS 2 students to come by 7am every Tuesday, so that I would revise with them and have all the 3 classes on the same level.

One very Tuesday morning, I went as usual and revised the lessons with the children. I noticed that they were few in class that day and concluded in my mind that I was going to punish the students who were absent from the morning class.
After the school morning devotion at 8:30am, one of the students who was absent from the class just walked up to me and said he was so sorry for missing my class today. I asked why?
He said his Dad and Mum was having a serious fight at home early this morning and it affected his preparation for school.
I felt so humbled and wanted to cry for the boy. Then I had to forgive all the children on punishing them for missing the early class. Only God and these children know why they’ve been acting the way they do and fail to perform up to the expectations.

The fights between parents affect these children emotionally and mentally. I wish parents can stop the physical combat at home or just wait till their children are not at home if need be.

112 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by usj(m): 11:30am On Sep 09
I couldn't say it better, OP you're on point. There is nothing more painful than seeing the people you love hurting one another. Some times you feel like going far away from them and never coming back, because it breaks you down emotionally.

35 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by GreaterFuture1(m): 11:32am On Sep 09
My Parents did Times 20 (×20) of all this to Me, Themselves and my Younger brother. Shouting, fighting Quarrelling etc. Was a norm Till they separated and even afterwards it was still there. From relatives to School, to Neighbors even amongst So called Fellow Christians, our "Christian Brothers and Sisters". A very Dysfunctional Family (and Community) made a Solid Sound Foundation for a Damaged Life.
The only thing I'm grateful to them for is that they gave me life. IMHO, Most Nigerians have no business bringing another human being to this World.

91 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Amotolongbo(f): 11:45am On Sep 09
GreaterFuture1:
My Parents did times 20 of all this. Shouting, fighting Quarrelling etc. Was a norm Till they separated and afterwards it was still there. From relatives to School, to Neighbors even amongst So called Fellow Christians, our "Christian Brothers and Sisters".
The only thing I'm grateful to them for is that they gave me life. Most Nigerians have no business bringing another human being to this World.
cry cry cry

Please learn from this and make sure you do not allow this to happen in your home

25 Likes

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by GreaterFuture1(m): 11:48am On Sep 09
Amotolongbo:
cry cry cry

Please learn from this and make sure you do not allow this to happen in your home
Them dey tell person that one...

41 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by GreaterFuture1(m): 11:57am On Sep 09
Amotolongbo:
That is the truth.

The very day I was touched and felt so emotionally humbled was the time I was teaching in a private school before going to answer the Clarion call.

Then I was teaching JSS2 (3 classes, A, B and C) Computer Science and SSS classes Geography.
To make things easier for me, I did tell these JSS 2 students to come by 7am every Tuesday, so that I would revise with them and have all the 3 classes on the same level.

One very Tuesday morning, I went as usual and revised the lessons with the children. I noticed that they were few in class that day and concluded in my mind that I was going to punish the students who were absent from the morning class.
After the school morning devotion at 8:30am, one of the students who was absent from the class just walked up to me and said he was so sorry for missing my class today. I asked why?
He said his Dad and Mum was having a serious fight at home early this morning and it affected his preparation for school.
I felt so humbled and wanted to cry for the boy. Then I had to forgive all the children on punishing them for missing the early class. Only God and these children know why they’ve been acting the way they do and fail to perform up to the expectations.

The fights between parents affect these children emotionally and mentally. I wish parents can stop the physical combat at home or just wait till their children are not at home if need be.
Few teachers would handle it like that
When I was in Secondary school, some teachers knew what I was going through yet still added to my problems and treated me badly, they gossiped me, made fun of my situation etc. (Nigerian Schools are Rubbish! especially private secondary schools). To put it mildly, That seriously affected me academically, emotionally and Psychologically

44 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by GreaterFuture1(m): 12:35pm On Sep 09
Some things You are Saying @OP seems as if we don't live in the same Nigeria. In a third world/Developing society like Nigeria, Damaged People are everywhere. left right and centre, most people are damaged, In varying degrees, Forms and Levels. Many may not know it or Acknowledge it, but they are damaged. The Lower you go in the Social Ladder, the sicker it Is. There is evidence of this even here on Nairaland.

38 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Ybaby: 1:13pm On Sep 09
BluntNigerian:
I don't know who needs to read this...
But then, if you are a parent seeing this, then it is very important that you read it, and understand it, and digest it.
...
If you (as parents or guardians) are always fighting in front of your children, then you are seriously abusing those kids emotionally.
..
It might not be any of my concern at the moment, but it will definitely affect me indirectly later in the future, when those kids of yours might get in contact with my kids.
And that's why it is giving me great concerns at the moment.
..
..
The other day, I was in my friend's house. One thing led to the other, and they started arguing. Before I knew what was happening, they were already shouting at themselves. I had to start listening in order to know where to come in.
Next thing I noticed was that their two-years old baby came out and started crying. On noticing that both of them didn't want to stop their shouting, the little baby started beating two of them with her little hands.
That was the time my friend's wife carried the baby, while still shouting. Baby continued crying.
I quietly took the baby from her, and then started trying to see how I still get to the root of whatever they were shouting about.
Anyways, they had always been like that, so I wasn't much bothered about them.
I always laughed at them whenever they quarrel like that, because, before you know it, they are already laughing again, over those same issues that caused their quarrels in the first place.
But then, their kids are not aware of all these.
They are seeing the people they love falling out of love, and they are broken by that.
..
Let's mind how we do things in front of our kids.
They see things differently.

No single lie!!!

If shouting at eachother makes you Hot... choose battle day and leave baby in grandma house then go toxic 360 degree till the next mortal combat day but donot damage your kids.

13 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Klass99(f): 1:50pm On Sep 09
@ OP, my neighbours (married couple) need to see this but I doubt if it will have any impact on the man, sighs!

I am an adult but whenever I hear their shouting match, it affects me mentally/emotionally and I feel unsettled. I only hear them o! I can't imagine what it's like for the kids who see and hear them.

After one of their tirades, I went out to empty the trash and jammed the husband in the parking lot of our compound. For some reason I can't even explain, I turned around in a bid to avoid him.

I kind of felt embarrassed and uncomfortable by the fight I had over heard and I didn't want him to feel some sort of way, seeing me soon after that fight. I don't even know if that was a rational reaction on my part.

The wife has said on two different occasions, that her husband is a very nice man. In my mind I was like undecided, not from where I stand or what I see.

All their fights are started by him, he is incapable of speaking in polite tones, he is so rude and disrespectful to his own wife, nice is not a word I will ever use to describe that man, abeg!

38 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by PrimeWatermark: 2:33pm On Sep 09
Lagos.

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:33pm On Sep 09
How parents get on with each other plays a big role in a child's wellbeing,
With the potential to affect everything from mental health to academic success and future relationships.

When parents shout and are angry with each other,
When they consistently withdraw or give each other the "silent treatment", problems can sometimes arise which will definitely affect the children.

There is nothing as beautiful in this world than having a family where pure, true undiluted love reign Supreme.

We Rise!

7 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by oluwaseyi0: 2:33pm On Sep 09
That's why I'm a strong advocate of divorce if the difference becomes unresolvable and tension is always high in the home

But most religion will rather couple pretend all is well even when the best thing is divorce

A woman getting steady beating from the husband and claiming she is staying for her children will just die a useless death, a man that the wife has given hypertension but still staying because of what pastor and church will say will just die for nothing

17 Likes

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by chii8(f): 2:34pm On Sep 09
True but not just emotionally,in every area of the children's life.Parents are meant to be the children's hero/heroine and also mentors.Fights among couples destabilizes a child and even an adult.We need to put our act together in front of our kids Biko...If you are not ready to nuture a child,use condoms and wait till you and madam grows some sense.

5 Likes

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by merciful2024: 2:34pm On Sep 09
OK

1 Like

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by joelbooks: 2:34pm On Sep 09
True
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Optimistdude: 2:35pm On Sep 09
There is a robot below my comment.
I don't know when Seun will activate the I AM NOT A ROBOT button here.

This life no really Balenciaga cheesy

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Slawormir: 2:35pm On Sep 09
Damnnnnn niggarrr
I agree

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by emeijeh(m): 2:35pm On Sep 09
Why would 2 people who claim to love each other fight themselves?

It doesn't make sense

10 Likes

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Jahzrockballer(m): 2:35pm On Sep 09
Fqct
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by nautybride: 2:35pm On Sep 09
Hmmmm. How I wish it won't become a cycle. Most times, it does.
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Okortor: 2:36pm On Sep 09
Seconded.
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Ogaemmii: 2:36pm On Sep 09
Hmmmm
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Kekereekun123: 2:37pm On Sep 09
The cycle goes on from generations to generations. that is why 9ja is backward too

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Abalado(f): 2:37pm On Sep 09
Sey Nigeria situation no gree make parent they fight every minute,not even everyday o,,
Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Izabel(f): 2:37pm On Sep 09
Not just emotionally, psychologically and in all ramifications. The trauma is unbearable

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by Kabir5643(m): 2:38pm On Sep 09
True. I'm a victim of this shit

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Parents Who Always Fight Are Abusing Their Children Emotionally by MANNABBQGRILLS: 2:38pm On Sep 09
DuBLINGreenb:
Before,

Like the way Pastor David Ibiyeomie abused Our daddy Mr. Freeze

The way Wike abused that traditional ruler Uthman danfodio lol should I continue?

The way Africans sorry Nigerians insult Others and the way they get insulted back

The way Igbos and Yorubas insult each other on Nairaland
Where is the sense in all these Incoherent jargons now?
Do some of you think before picking your palasa to type at all?
Gosh!

1 Like 2 Shares

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