₦airaland Forum

koolib:
Our marriage is almost 10 years, she still uses her maiden name. It safes a lot of stress

That is logic for you....

If her papa na NNPC GMD or something like that, wey keep $400m cash in her custody... I go marry am and both of us go bear her maiden name....until I cash out from her and find my way.

Islmically, retaining maiden name is the best.

No deepthinking man will allow it.
If the father's name is what she wants to live for, why marry?Stay I your father's house and bear his name

As for the hybrid name, what does Obasanjo-Bello mean for example? You just created something new.
If you are outstanding, people will be interested in your background.
The Nigerian-Doctor that died during Ebola didn't affix Macaulay or Crowther to her name yet people found out.

If she can't submit her maiden name, is it her heart she'd submit?

I no even want talk about the spiritual implications.

LegitGirl:
A friend asked me this question, recently.

A guy, as a matter of fact. He said he doesn't mind his wife reraining her maiden name.

What do you guys think?

I don't mind either
I prefer it that way

Though I am also not against those who change name

Kobojunkie:
Yet, women in many other cultures retain their names after marriage, and we are talking cultures that are thousands of years old here?.

This is the problem with Nigerians, they forget who they are. You are a Nigerian not an oyinbo!!!

The people you are talking about many dont marry and live together as partners, are you ok with living with your man and not marrying?

Abeg carry this nonsense out of here!!

Angelfrost:
Yes sir... Tradition has limits!

A lot of couples decide to forego that. Most do it more out of impulse than tradition.

Some just bear the name in word, but check their official documents, social media handles, etc, it remains the same even after a decade of blissful union!

It is down to a couple's decision and choice or what works for them!!!

That's really what it should be, not the whole "tradition says so, so I blindly follow even when commonsense screams no ..."

Kobojunkie:
As you already stated, some of you bow to traditions which you foolishly adhere to against logic, so there is always that to contend with.

the tradition works for my family. Mind your own family. Non of us is complaining, DONT advocate for us . Thank you sir

Islamically Ladies should retain their maiden name. That is what the Quran says. Hence the practice is more common in the northern part of the country

I don't see anything wrong with it, taking up your husband's name after marriage is purely a western culture most people adopted because of colonialism. Women from China, Korea, Malaysia and probably other East Asian countries retain their maiden names. Women from the Middle East retain their maiden names because of Islamic law.

Recently, I also read that Igbo women also retained their father's names before pre-colonialism.
And honestly, it's practical right now to keep it for official purposes at least because of all the hassles involved in changing your name legally

perambulator:
This is the problem with Nigerians, they forget who they are. You are a Nigerian not an oyinbo!!!
The people you are talking about many dont marry and live together as partners, are you ok with living with your man and not marrying?
Abeg carry this nonsense out of here!!

The biggest issue is you think that being Nigerian means I should automatically think as you do and rationalize the inane the same way your tradition commands you to.

Some of us actually subscribe to commonsense when it comes to living. So being Nigerian means nothing except for the fact that we hold citizenship or passport to the place.

PrimadonnaO:
Yeah.

I think the only advantage is the elimination of the stress and complexity that comes with changing names.

Other than that, I think retaining the maiden name kinda screams individuality, as against oneness.

I also wouldn't want to bear a different name from the LOML, and my kids.

Let's all be one.

I introduce myself as Mrs (My husband's name and surname).

But my government name is my maiden name.

JennyOfOldstones:
I don't see anything wrong with it, taking up your husband's name after marriage is purely a western culture most people adopted because of colonialism. Women from China, Korea and probably other East Asian countries retain their maiden names. Recently, I also read that Igbo woman also retained their father's names before pre-colonialism.
And honestly, it's practical right now to keep it for official purposes at least because of all the hassles involved in changing your name legally

OMGosh!

So you are saying this so-called tradition didn't even come to be until after the white man showed up. And yet some here pretend it some sort of right bestowed upon them by their ancestors? Interesting!

LegitGirl:
A friend asked me this question, recently.

A guy, as a matter of fact. He said he doesn't mind his wife reraining her maiden name.

What do you guys think?

Tell him I said he is a SIMP.

And if it happens to be you, which I suspect it is, then I am telling you face to face that you are a SIMP.

ignis:
If she's from a prominent family, she can keep the maiden name.

For example you don't expect Mike Adenuga or Olusegun Obasanjo's daughter to switch surname to a non known name.

Bella Disu is the first daughter of Adenuga, and she changed her last name when she married.
Btw, I don't personally see any issue in a woman retaining her maiden name as long as my children bears my last name.

It Does Not Add Or Anything In Marriage As long As The Children Bears The Father's name.

All These boys Shouting i Will Send My Wife To Her Father's house... Whether You Do Or Not , It Does Not And Will Not Stop The World From Going On.

Peace Of The Nine Matters ALot. Do Not Trade It For Any Man Or Woman.

Kobojunkie:
The biggest issue is you think that being Nigerian means I should automatically think as you do and rationalize the inane the same way your tradition commands you to.

Some of us actually subscribe to commonsense when it comes to living. So being Nigerian means nothing except for the fact that we hold citizenship or passport to the place.

Clap for yourself. tommorow you can decide to let your 5 year old child become a transexual because thats what oyinbos do. id iot!!!!

Nobody forces you to think anyhow. You are the one who made an issue of what the westerners do by saying that is your reason why it is ok for a woman to retain her maiden name, you are the one who made it an issue thereby showing your mentally enslaved thinking. If you want to retain your maiden name for your own reasons thats ok, I wont allow it but someone who says because white people do it has no credibility or mind of his or her own!!!

Romanoff:
I introduce myself as Mrs (My husband's name and surname).

But my government name is my maiden name.

Hmmmm. So you didn't do any redocumentation after marriage?

All your official documents carry your father's name/surname?

Kobojunkie:
OMGosh!

So you are saying this so-called tradition didn't even come to be until after the white man showed up. And yet some here pretend it some sort of right bestowed upon them by their ancestors? Interesting!

I was really surprised when I saw it too. I'm still looking for an official source to back this up though since I saw it on a FB group for Igbo people

simpleseyi:
As if we care.

We guys are not begging you to bear our surname, in fact, we do not want to get married, you ladies are the ones doing everything possible including going diabolical to make us marry you. If not, we no want marry.

Lol...see this one! Abi, it is the other way round!!! It is a known fact that men cannot do without women, but women can do without men!!!
Most of you are practically useless anyway.. I am sure a woman is feeding you!

Exactly!!! I have been invited to 4 weddings alredi dis year

Kobojunkiee:
"We no wan marry" yet every weekend, all across Nigeria, men are busy marrying?

You sure say you no go retire this "we" you keep insinuating and start instead speaking of yourself in this?

perambulator:
Clap for yourself. tommorow you can decide to let your 5 year old child become a transexual because thats what oyinbos do. id iot!!!!

Nobody forces you to think anyhow. You are the one who made an issue of what the westerners do. you are the one who made it an issue showing your mindset. If you want to retain your maiden name for your own reasons thats ok, I wont allow it but someone who says because white people do it has no credibility or mind of his or her own!!!

I never said anything about what westerners do so I am not certain what direction this your rambling is coming from or headed in.

Kobojunkie:
I never said anything about what westerners do so I am not certain what direction this your rambling is coming from or headed in.

yes you did, maybe you need to go back and read your own post.... "women in other cultures" WTF does that mean but someone suffering from an enslaved mind, a copy cat? For Giod's sake have some self respect and at least have a vaild reason other than others abroad do it.....nonsense!!!!!

perambulator:
yes you did, maybe you need to go back and read your own post

Again, I never said anything about what westerners do so I am not certain what direction this your rambling is coming from or headed in.

Prove me wrong by providing evidence that suggests I did make we see.

U re just talking like a drunk fool. So many weddings happen every saturdays. In fact, weddings have increased tremendously. Are the ladies marrying themselves? Men have been marrying women all overr the world . U and your so called dumb associates cannot change God’s plan. Just say u re too useless to even hold a family together. Marriage is for responsible men. Not ppl like u. Anybody dat even married you is doomed. As u said, I believe u will do well with prostitutes . Let real men marry. U can carry the prostitutes to yourself.

simpleseyi:
We no wan marry I beg. Make una stay una side, make we too dey our side.

During the last general meeting of the Yoruba Demons Association (YODA) and the Sweet Boys Association (SBA), we resolved that we no dey marry again. Just fucck the pusssy and pass it on. You ladies too can have as many dicccks as you want, let's see who will regret it.

Kobojunkie:
Again, I never said anything about what westerners do so I am not certain what direction this your rambling is coming from or headed in.

Prove me wrong by providing evidence that suggests I did make we see.

get out of here you have already exposed yourself as an Oreo!!! You are the kind of stupid Nigerians with low self esteem and no self respect that always try and speak with fake foreign accents and have probably never been on an international flight in their lives.


people like you irritate me. i respect people who have a mind of their own even if I dont agree with them but I can never respect people who just copy!!!

perambulator:
yes you did, maybe you need to go back and read your own post.... "women in other cultures" WTF does that mean but someone suffering from an enslaved mind, a copy cat? For Giod's sake have some self respect and at least have a vaild reason other than others abroad do it.....nonsense!!!!!

But you are the one here who assumed that by other cultures, I was referring to those you call westerners, so how am I to blame for what are instead your misgivings?

PrimadonnaO:
Hmmmm. So you didn't do any redocumentation after marriage?

All your official documents carry your father's name/surname?

Yes.

I actually wanted to change it after I married, the process made me just give up and my husband isn't bothered about it.

Na so I rest my case.

LegitGirl:
Does that mean you're fine with whatever outcome?

Or that you already have the status quo expectations (women for domestic chores...woman takes your name)?

Don't mind me just bants,

perambulator:
get out of here you have already exposed yourself as an Oreo!!!

Nah! All you did was expose your bias against the west this since you assumed by other cultures, one automatically meant the west.

Kobojunkie:
Nah! All you did was expose your bias against the west this since you assumed by other cultures, one automatically meant the west.

stop trying to be too clever by halves, every body knows what you meant!!! In any event, whether western or not you are still copying! Copying others do it is not a valid reason, copying shows low self esteem!!

The worst thing you could say is "others do it". I want to retain my identity, I want to keep my family name, i dont want o lose my connection give a good reason other than others do it!! Thats someone who doesnt know their own mind.

You are the worst sort of human, those who dont even know why or have a valid reason for the things they do other than "others do it". The others that do it do you know why? fo ool!!!

this is not about bias against the west but disgust at Nigerians with low self esteem who feel they must copy everything foreign!!!

Let me give you some life advice: if you do not respect who you are and carry yourself with pride, nobody will respect you. Nigerian artistes have been trying to break the international market for decades by copying foreign artistes, they all failed. It was only when Nigerian artistes embraced theor own culture and sang as Africans that they took the world by storm. Respect and be proud of who you are and your culture because no amount of copying can make you like them!!!!!

Kobojunkiee:
"We no wan marry" yet every weekend, all across Nigeria, men are busy marrying?

You sure say you no go retire this "we" you keep insinuating and start instead speaking of yourself in this?

No be juju una dey use? How many weeks have those every weekend marriages be lasting.