₦airaland Forum

Op in life some roads you have to take alone, no family, no friends, no soulmate, just you and God to see the truth.

The level of self-pity that I see here is alarming. Why don't you give yourself the opportunity to live a bit? You are trying to do so much, at the end of the day you do little because of the pressure. Take a break abeg, you are still in school focus on that.

Words on marble! Glad I'm on the road to becoming one

dplordx:
Your message despite its flowery and prosaic quality is wrapped in too much self-pity. Life is what it is, up and down. You need to get your head out of your butthole and lookup. Nobody sees the future staring down, stop this silly tea party.

Kindly note, on a scale of 1/10 I will score my life let’s say 2.5/10 and you know what, I am most grateful for where I am. Daily, I thank God for life, for health; for talent and for his grace. Your life can eternally turn around within a week, month or year from now, and you’d marvel at God.

Some years ago, I’d look at the future and there was no light at the end of the tunnel, but one thing I knew what, when an endless night has fallen, hope can be summoned from the fact that the companion of an endless isn’t another endless night — but morning. Today, things are going good. I am not super-rich, but I can easily pack my bag and book a ticket and go anywhere I want to go in the world and live very comfortably.

Don’t give up and try something modern. Nobody reads again, nobody does all those affiliate marketing ish, go learn coding, try something modern and stop acting like the many 99% losers in Nigeria. Do the fucccccken crazy hard work and stop daydreaming and see your life chang forever!

NB: I have published 4 novels and made N0.00 from it until I took coding 6 years ago and life has been amazing! Now working for multinationals and clocking over $100k annually! The dream for 2022 is $1,000,000 and I’m not resting till I hit the milestones

Wen u nv finish school u de tink like dis, focus on ur education bro ,life is up nd down bt be grateful,try de get close to ur family nd relative,it matters...we all know that where all dis boils down ,is making more nd more money to impress some nd Liv a good life,but life is not so bro nd money making is not easy bro,in Nigeria,frgt all dis motivational speaker nd expertnaira folks,way there mate de bank on clickbank nd warrior plus , currently now na Amazon Kindle Dem de now ,try to deceive gullible as if it is easy to make money on kdp

All you ought to do is to pray and ask God for divine intervention

In all b grateful u are alive,money way b ur own go com on right time without stress,mk friends,chill out,no take woman breakup serious ,cos of hrt attack, remember to do wat mk u happy often..u cn b sad, depressed,loner,all same time

Op being over comfortable is not good

Bro, you are suffering from depression as a result of losing your Dad. Getting over the loss of someone you love is not that easy. That's why you have lost motivation for anything. The best thing is to get professional help If you can, I mean psychotherapy.
Then, surround yourself with people you love and those that really love and care about you. People that motivate and encourage you.
If you are religious, knowing God has big plans for you and consistent prayers can help too.

Sified:
What a read!
I'm sorry about the family ish, it's always like that sometimes we find succour more from strangers than friends.

Well, I think you don't have close friends, maybe you're suffering from a lack of support system, which is understandable.

But to progress you might need something like an Accountability Partner, someone to keep you in check with your goals, give you needed encouragement and advice sometimes.

Also, hope you're not too far from God....

Regarding the book, have you heard of Amazon Publishing? Tho I haven't gotten started with it but I've heard great stuff about it and I think you should consider it for your book.

I'm not a coach, but I might be able to provide some friendship support if you want.

Spot on!!!

I don't think he has friends truly, friends who would be a source of motivation to him.

Mindset and location most probably. The word "village-people" is concisely overrated. Remember. When you are poor, you are your father's son but when you are rich, you are everybody's son. Change your mindset for starters.

[quote author=VictorGlory post=112846477][/quote]OP rest assured you are fine and everything will be alright. It's a phase in your life, mostly driven by the vacuum created because of the absence of your dad. Like you rightly stated there aren't success stories without moments of twists, bitter pills and thorns,so is yours.
You already possess the right attitude, i.e. the ability to keep your cool despite the trying times. For being able to narrate how your life was, is and how you want it to be shows your sanity is intact.
Know for sure that there are lots of people passing through worse situations,.. yet determination has kept them so it will for you.
The little you may consider doing for yourself include not expecting quick results from set goals in the time being, engaging in outdoor activities like sports where you meet people, attending to religious activities..., just mingle more, it will help relieve some of the anxiety.
You already have potentials that will manifest at the right time.

I think you have not gotten over the trauma of losing your dad. He must have been the only one you have an emotional attatchment to, Give yourseif a break and allow yourself to heal. As part of the healing process go visit your mum. I think it will really help you. Stop pushing yourself to hard, Talk to your mum seek couselling. Things will naturally fall into place.

VictorGlory:
Like every other bright mind with positive energy and knacks for success. I stepped confidently into the new year 2022 with the right portion of optimism and motivation.


One would wonder if one Village Priest had prepared a prosperity charm for me; cause my energy was mind-blowing. I was so confident about winning in every facet of my life.


Although I sustained some gun wounds of failures that 2021 inflicted on me - lost Dad to the greedy fangs of death, got served breakfast by my girlfriend - because she wanted to serve God, got rejected by so many companies for internships, and had to separate myself from 90% of my family member and siblings cause most of them are friendly enemies, got depressed, betrayed, reject. etc. Yet I could still boldly say to myself that healing would find me in 2022 and greatness would comfort me.

Oops! Maybe a weird description is when you think this young boy has too many track records of misfortune and failures in his life. But I guess some of the best success stories are told with tons of tragic experiences in them. And I've left my life with the best scriptwriter to write the best out of me.


Fast forward to the new year, my jaw got broken by the heavy first of failure. I got into internet Marketing and my results were nothing to write about. I made some good cash though, but I couldn't hit my target.


Also, I wrote a promising book that I've been struggling to find a publisher who is willing to publish it for free and run a good publishing investment deal with me.


This time around, the thunderstorm of failure sent me running like a thief who is scared of jungle justice. I was broken beyond repair because those were my biggest plans for 2022 as regards financial stability and independence.

I was sent into a coma mentally and I knew I needed a break, to fix myself, move on and get back on my feet. That has always been how I respond to previous failures. Fortunately and pathetically, ASUU changed the game and their strike was like a blessing in disguise to me.


I would have loved to go to Lagos to spend the "never-ending ASUU holiday" but Lagos was longer home for me. Ever since I lost Dad and he was buried, I have seen no tangible reason why I should visit home again.

I couldn't stand seeing Dad's grave every day, I'll just collapse and die a coward's death. Also, I don't wanna stay with my stepmom. I've had enough of stepmom's stories growing up as a young boy. Trust me, it's a hell experience.


My mum's place could have been another good option, she lives in a 2 bedroom apartment on the mainland. But I don't think I can cope with an environment where electricity is foreign to them because most of my activities require stable electricity to power my phone and laptop especially, and that she can't supply.


Living in my half-brother's place in Lagos whom we share the same mother could have been another perfect option, I've lived with him a couple of times and I'm very productive each time I stay with him.

I get to complete every task on my to-do list that brings development in every area of my life each day, and eventually actualize both my long-term and short-term goals. Their electricity is stable couple with free Wi-fi. His place put me on my toes to work and do the needful.

But the issue is just that some part of me feels like I don't belong there. We don't get along as brothers, he's 10 years older than I am, and I dare not disrespect him but the kind of relationship we have is like that of a boss and an apprentice.


His wife and I are very cool friends, but he and I don't just get along like brothers should do. Maybe because we were not raised together (my both parents are polygamous). But I want a close friend, mentor, and confidant out of him. Not a never smiling, rigid brother and boss. I've tried talking to him severally but there are no positive changes from him.


My other half-siblings from my father's side are no-go areas. They are all friendly enemies who are jealous of every bit of my success, especially in my academics. Because they all blew up the opportunities to go to higher institutions. They have so much hatred for me because I'm the last child of the family and I used to be Dad's favourite.


So I decided to go live with my Dad's friend in Ogun state and that was when life drew its nightmares upon me. Dad's friend is a very good man, his family members are good people as well. They welcomed me like their child, I would rate them better than some of my family members.


Ogun state pose to be like paradise to me, there was stable electricity, inverter, and generator. That's 24/7 light, the environment was conducive and I was confident that I would heal fast and achieve a lot here.

I feel my productive energy coming back and I was enthused again. I drafted some core goals that I need to achieve their in Ogun state like taking a Data Analysis Course, Joining the Nigeria Institute of Public Relations (NIPR), Raising my school fees, going back fully to Internet Marketing, Completing My Final year research Project, Finding an investor and publisher for my book, etc.


A few weeks into my stay in Ogun state, I began to lose interest in almost everything, I became indifferent to achieving my goals, and I became extremely lazy - giving meaningless excuses and procrastinating till eternity.

I wasn't lazy with house chores, I did that perfectly. But when it comes to doing little things that will develop me and prepare a better future for me, I wasn't motivated to do any. I sat myself down severally and talked senses into my head but, it seems I wasn't gonna yield.

I knelt, begged myself, and cried a lot because I knew it was my life and I need to take responsibility for it. I told myself that even if I wasn't making money, I should engage in things that would develop me. Yet, I didn't change. It's two mouth now in Ogun state, and I've not been productive at all.


Now all I do is waste my precious time with the TV, playing games or on social media, eating like a foodie, sleeping like a bull, and chatting with some friends (distractions). This kind of lifestyle has become a daily routine for me.


This isn't me, this is not the way I used to be. I used to be a very intelligent, hardworking, serious, and dedicated goal-getter who used to be very serious with his life and is determined to fetch a bright future for himself. I've heard people talk about comfort zone but I never experienced one not until now.

Each day, my mind will always tell me that I'll bounce back to whom I used to be, but if school resumes without me achieving my goals here in Ogun state. l'll feel like a total failure. I know I need to act fast, cause time isn't waiting for me.


I am considering leaving Ogun state, to go and stay in my brother's place in Lagos, at least I can be confident of productivity there. but I don't want to leave a negative mindset in Dad's friend's mind about my sudden leaving. He might feel I don't like his place and I can't keep wasting my time here doing nothing.


Although I'm tempted to think this is a spiritual attack, I wanna go back to Lagos to see if I'd be productive there.


Please, good people of Nairaland, advise me on what to do. And please recommend tactics and strategy that can save me from this situation even if it means reading a life changing book.

Everything that you are suffering is your mindset

[s]

VictorGlory:
Like every other bright mind with positive energy and knacks for success. I stepped confidently into the new year 2022 with the right portion of optimism and motivation.


One would wonder if one Village Priest had prepared a prosperity charm for me; cause my energy was mind-blowing. I was so confident about winning in every facet of my life.


Although I sustained some gun wounds of failures that 2021 inflicted on me - lost Dad to the greedy fangs of death, got served breakfast by my girlfriend - because she wanted to serve God, got rejected by so many companies for internships, and had to separate myself from 90% of my family member and siblings cause most of them are friendly enemies, got depressed, betrayed, reject. etc. Yet I could still boldly say to myself that healing would find me in 2022 and greatness would comfort me.

Oops! Maybe a weird description is when you think this young boy has too many track records of misfortune and failures in his life. But I guess some of the best success stories are told with tons of tragic experiences in them. And I've left my life with the best scriptwriter to write the best out of me.


Fast forward to the new year, my jaw got broken by the heavy first of failure. I got into internet Marketing and my results were nothing to write about. I made some good cash though, but I couldn't hit my target.


Also, I wrote a promising book that I've been struggling to find a publisher who is willing to publish it for free and run a good publishing investment deal with me.


This time around, the thunderstorm of failure sent me running like a thief who is scared of jungle justice. I was broken beyond repair because those were my biggest plans for 2022 as regards financial stability and independence.

I was sent into a coma mentally and I knew I needed a break, to fix myself, move on and get back on my feet. That has always been how I respond to previous failures. Fortunately and pathetically, ASUU changed the game and their strike was like a blessing in disguise to me.


I would have loved to go to Lagos to spend the "never-ending ASUU holiday" but Lagos was longer home for me. Ever since I lost Dad and he was buried, I have seen no tangible reason why I should visit home again.

I couldn't stand seeing Dad's grave every day, I'll just collapse and die a coward's death. Also, I don't wanna stay with my stepmom. I've had enough of stepmom's stories growing up as a young boy. Trust me, it's a hell experience.


My mum's place could have been another good option, she lives in a 2 bedroom apartment on the mainland. But I don't think I can cope with an environment where electricity is foreign to them because most of my activities require stable electricity to power my phone and laptop especially, and that she can't supply.


Living in my half-brother's place in Lagos whom we share the same mother could have been another perfect option, I've lived with him a couple of times and I'm very productive each time I stay with him.

I get to complete every task on my to-do list that brings development in every area of my life each day, and eventually actualize both my long-term and short-term goals. Their electricity is stable couple with free Wi-fi. His place put me on my toes to work and do the needful.

But the issue is just that some part of me feels like I don't belong there. We don't get along as brothers, he's 10 years older than I am, and I dare not disrespect him but the kind of relationship we have is like that of a boss and an apprentice.


His wife and I are very cool friends, but he and I don't just get along like brothers should do. Maybe because we were not raised together (my both parents are polygamous). But I want a close friend, mentor, and confidant out of him. Not a never smiling, rigid brother and boss. I've tried talking to him severally but there are no positive changes from him.


My other half-siblings from my father's side are no-go areas. They are all friendly enemies who are jealous of every bit of my success, especially in my academics. Because they all blew up the opportunities to go to higher institutions. They have so much hatred for me because I'm the last child of the family and I used to be Dad's favourite.


So I decided to go live with my Dad's friend in Ogun state and that was when life drew its nightmares upon me. Dad's friend is a very good man, his family members are good people as well. They welcomed me like their child, I would rate them better than some of my family members.


Ogun state pose to be like paradise to me, there was stable electricity, inverter, and generator. That's 24/7 light, the environment was conducive and I was confident that I would heal fast and achieve a lot here.

I feel my productive energy coming back and I was enthused again. I drafted some core goals that I need to achieve their in Ogun state like taking a Data Analysis Course, Joining the Nigeria Institute of Public Relations (NIPR), Raising my school fees, going back fully to Internet Marketing, Completing My Final year research Project, Finding an investor and publisher for my book, etc.


A few weeks into my stay in Ogun state, I began to lose interest in almost everything, I became indifferent to achieving my goals, and I became extremely lazy - giving meaningless excuses and procrastinating till eternity.

I wasn't lazy with house chores, I did that perfectly. But when it comes to doing little things that will develop me and prepare a better future for me, I wasn't motivated to do any. I sat myself down severally and talked senses into my head but, it seems I wasn't gonna yield.

I knelt, begged myself, and cried a lot because I knew it was my life and I need to take responsibility for it. I told myself that even if I wasn't making money, I should engage in things that would develop me. Yet, I didn't change. It's two mouth now in Ogun state, and I've not been productive at all.


Now all I do is waste my precious time with the TV, playing games or on social media, eating like a foodie, sleeping like a bull, and chatting with some friends (distractions). This kind of lifestyle has become a daily routine for me.


This isn't me, this is not the way I used to be. I used to be a very intelligent, hardworking, serious, and dedicated goal-getter who used to be very serious with his life and is determined to fetch a bright future for himself. I've heard people talk about comfort zone but I never experienced one not until now.

Each day, my mind will always tell me that I'll bounce back to whom I used to be, but if school resumes without me achieving my goals here in Ogun state. l'll feel like a total failure. I know I need to act fast, cause time isn't waiting for me.


I am considering leaving Ogun state, to go and stay in my brother's place in Lagos, at least I can be confident of productivity there. but I don't want to leave a negative mindset in Dad's friend's mind about my sudden leaving. He might feel I don't like his place and I can't keep wasting my time here doing nothing.


Although I'm tempted to think this is a spiritual attack, I wanna go back to Lagos to see if I'd be productive there.


Please, good people of Nairaland, advise me on what to do. And please recommend tactics and strategy that can save me from this situation even if it means reading a life changing book.

[/s]

This is a very fake story.. I bet you in his repsinses you will see a "DM me for tips on how I am successful at internet marketing, it's very easy "

This is just indirect marketing

Sified:
What a read!
I'm sorry about the family ish, it's always like that sometimes we find succour more from strangers than friends.

Well, I think you don't have close friends, maybe you're suffering from a lack of support system, which is understandable.

But to progress you might need something like an Accountability Partner, someone to keep you in check with your goals, give you needed encouragement and advice sometimes.

Also, hope you're not too far from God....

Regarding the book, have you heard of Amazon Publishing? Tho I haven't gotten started with it but I've heard great stuff about it and I think you should consider it for your book.

I'm not a coach, but I might be able to provide some friendship support if you want.

He is far from God and overdependent on self.....

Cc Pansophist

¤ Find someone that can influence you.
¤ Be accountable to someone;a person you can go to daily/weekly to tell about how productive you've been and make sure the person is not a shy one,the person should be the one who can shout on you and be calm at the same time.
.
Best luck my gee...

THURAFTERNOON:
Let me calm down and learn from this thread. E be like we dy same shoes.. however it could all those options but never village people. Mine problem is just consistency and putting the mental nerves to work daily to stay afloat.

I’m wondering what went wrong, I never even see credit alert this year sef. But I’m just believing it’s temporary . At times, I even feel like I’m loosing intelligence…

Iswear! E be like say we go open WhatsApp group because we gather dey like this

dplordx:
Your message despite its flowery and prosaic quality is wrapped in too much self-pity. Life is what it is, up and down. You need to get your head out of your butthole and lookup. Nobody sees the future staring down, stop this silly tea party.

Kindly note, on a scale of 1/10 I will score my life let’s say 2.5/10 and you know what, I am most grateful for where I am. Daily, I thank God for life, for health; for talent and for his grace. Your life can eternally turn around within a week, month or year from now, and you’d marvel at God.

Some years ago, I’d look at the future and there was no light at the end of the tunnel, but one thing I knew what, [/b]when an endless night has fallen, hope can be summoned from the fact that the companion of an endless isn’t another endless night — but morning.[b] Today, things are going good. I am not super-rich, but I can easily pack my bag and book a ticket and go anywhere I want to go in the world and live very comfortably.

Don’t give up and try something modern. Nobody reads again, nobody does all those affiliate marketing ish, go learn coding, try something modern and stop acting like the many 99% losers in Nigeria. Do the fucccccken crazy hard work and stop daydreaming and see your life chang forever!

NB: I have published 4 novels and made N0.00 from it until I took coding 6 years ago and life has been amazing! Now working for multinationals and clocking over $100k annually! The dream for 2022 is $1,000,000 and I’m not resting till I hit the milestones

I've taken my time to digest all that you've said. But what else would you suggest aside coding?

geokay777:
He is far from God and overdependent on self.....

Seems you're right

dplordx:
Your message despite its flowery and prosaic quality is wrapped in too much self-pity. Life is what it is, up and down. You need to get your head out of your butthole and lookup. Nobody sees the future staring down, stop this silly tea party.

Kindly note, on a scale of 1/10 I will score my life let’s say 2.5/10 and you know what, I am most grateful for where I am. Daily, I thank God for life, for health; for talent and for his grace. Your life can eternally turn around within a week, month or year from now, and you’d marvel at God.

Some years ago, I’d look at the future and there was no light at the end of the tunnel, but one thing I knew what, when an endless night has fallen, hope can be summoned from the fact that the companion of an endless isn’t another endless night — but morning. Today, things are going good. I am not super-rich, but I can easily pack my bag and book a ticket and go anywhere I want to go in the world and live very comfortably.

Don’t give up and try something modern. Nobody reads again, nobody does all those affiliate marketing ish, go learn coding, try something modern and stop acting like the many 99% losers in Nigeria. Do the fucccccken crazy hard work and stop daydreaming and see your life chang forever!

NB: I have published 4 novels and made N0.00 from it until I took coding 6 years ago and life has been amazing! Now working for multinationals and clocking over $100k annually! The dream for 2022 is $1,000,000 and I’m not resting till I hit the milestones

How can i learn coding sir? Would like to reach out to you.

Delaw44:
Seems you're not alone in this bro.
I go through shit but I don't let that weigh me down. Be prayerful, do excise and have enough sex.

Someone above you is complaining that too much sex is draining him while you're here prescribing sex. Nawa oh!

You mean the said Amazon Kindle hard to make person rich?

Zulu2022:
Wen u nv finish school u de tink like dis, focus on ur education bro ,life is up nd down bt be grateful,try de get close to ur family nd relative,it matters...we all know that where all dis boils down ,is making more nd more money to impress some nd Liv a good life,but life is not so bro nd money making is not easy bro,in Nigeria,frgt all dis motivational speaker nd expertnaira folks,way there mate de bank on clickbank nd warrior plus , currently now na Amazon Kindle Dem de now ,try to deceive gullible as if it is easy to make money on kdp

Trojan8:
The level of self-pity that I see here is alarming. Why don't you give yourself the opportunity to live a bit? You are trying to do so much, at the end of the day you do little because of the pressure. Take a break abeg, you are still in school focus on that.

You say he should focus on school?
You really don't know Watsup? Everyone's bleeped ATM lecturers qnd students alike. I can vividly understand the OP. Because i'm also in that stage where you're stuck in between chasing your dream and facing your academics.

I recently developed an idea that I can't implement simply because I don't have funds.

Zulu2022:
Wen u nv finish school u de tink like dis, focus on ur education bro ,life is up nd down bt be grateful,try de get close to ur family nd relative,it matters...we all know that where all dis boils down ,is making more nd more money to impress some nd Liv a good life,but life is not so bro nd money making is not easy bro,in Nigeria,frgt all dis motivational speaker nd expertnaira folks,way there mate de bank on clickbank nd warrior plus , currently now na Amazon Kindle Dem de now ,try to deceive gullible as if it is easy to make money on kdp

Iswear! One was recently telling me to pay for a course of 20k that it has been slashed from 40k yen yen yen! Omoh! I'm sure that b**t has not published any sh*t.

One thing I've realized is that if something is paying you wouldn't have time to teach or recruit people.

OP i'm sure you're studying Mass Communication. Well I don't think you can join NIPR without graduating.

Eastcoastboy:
Iswear! One was recently telling me to pay for a course of 20k that it has been slashed from 40k yen yen yen! Omoh! I'm sure that b**t has not published any sh*t.

One thing I've realized is that if something is paying you wouldn't have time to teach or recruit people.

You're right. It's hard to find time to teach.

Sified:
You mean the said Amazon Kindle hard to make person rich?

very hard

Your problem is more psychological than spiritual as you might think, nothing is affecting you more than the fact that you have too much which is mostly the problem with intelligent and success driven people. Too much ideas and intention to actualize will always lead you to the path of little achievement and increase your productivity which will later leads to frustration like you are getting. Let me give you these 3 things to ponder on.
1. Success and entrepreneurship has to do with processes and part of the process are failure, setbacks disappointments like you are experiencing now, guess what the higher the hurdles youare able to cross the bigger your success will become.
2. Remember the 20/80 pareto principle, don't do too much, if you keep getting plenty things to do, don't jump into doing them all now, you can write them down for future actualization because too much of goals will leads to under performance. Also note while setting goals, only set realistic ones according to your capacity.
3. Remember law of attraction, when you focus too much on your problems, you will be driven towards the path of more problem and you will be getting more problems.

Lastly try and pick just one thing and give it all your best instead of wanting to do plenty things, i am talking from my personal experience, i have encounter issues like this to the point that i was contemplating suicide, imaginei do IT outsourcing, Media, Write Movies and at a point doing furniture innovations at the end of the day i was having failed and frustrated days until recently that i expunged many and pushed them to future and focus on one per time after the success of that then i can move to the next one as i have set scale of preference now for what i need ti do now and in future.

Funny enough i reside in Ogun State too.

VictorGlory:
Like every other bright mind with positive energy and knacks for success. I stepped confidently into the new year 2022 with the right portion of optimism and motivation.


One would wonder if one Village Priest had prepared a prosperity charm for me; cause my energy was mind-blowing. I was so confident about winning in every facet of my life.


Although I sustained some gun wounds of failures that 2021 inflicted on me - lost Dad to the greedy fangs of death, got served breakfast by my girlfriend - because she wanted to serve God, got rejected by so many companies for internships, and had to separate myself from 90% of my family member and siblings cause most of them are friendly enemies, got depressed, betrayed, reject. etc. Yet I could still boldly say to myself that healing would find me in 2022 and greatness would comfort me.

Oops! Maybe a weird description is when you think this young boy has too many track records of misfortune and failures in his life. But I guess some of the best success stories are told with tons of tragic experiences in them. And I've left my life with the best scriptwriter to write the best out of me.


Fast forward to the new year, my jaw got broken by the heavy first of failure. I got into internet Marketing and my results were nothing to write about. I made some good cash though, but I couldn't hit my target.


Also, I wrote a promising book that I've been struggling to find a publisher who is willing to publish it for free and run a good publishing investment deal with me.


This time around, the thunderstorm of failure sent me running like a thief who is scared of jungle justice. I was broken beyond repair because those were my biggest plans for 2022 as regards financial stability and independence.

I was sent into a coma mentally and I knew I needed a break, to fix myself, move on and get back on my feet. That has always been how I respond to previous failures. Fortunately and pathetically, ASUU changed the game and their strike was like a blessing in disguise to me.


I would have loved to go to Lagos to spend the "never-ending ASUU holiday" but Lagos was longer home for me. Ever since I lost Dad and he was buried, I have seen no tangible reason why I should visit home again.

I couldn't stand seeing Dad's grave every day, I'll just collapse and die a coward's death. Also, I don't wanna stay with my stepmom. I've had enough of stepmom's stories growing up as a young boy. Trust me, it's a hell experience.


My mum's place could have been another good option, she lives in a 2 bedroom apartment on the mainland. But I don't think I can cope with an environment where electricity is foreign to them because most of my activities require stable electricity to power my phone and laptop especially, and that she can't supply.


Living in my half-brother's place in Lagos whom we share the same mother could have been another perfect option, I've lived with him a couple of times and I'm very productive each time I stay with him.

I get to complete every task on my to-do list that brings development in every area of my life each day, and eventually actualize both my long-term and short-term goals. Their electricity is stable couple with free Wi-fi. His place put me on my toes to work and do the needful.

But the issue is just that some part of me feels like I don't belong there. We don't get along as brothers, he's 10 years older than I am, and I dare not disrespect him but the kind of relationship we have is like that of a boss and an apprentice.


His wife and I are very cool friends, but he and I don't just get along like brothers should do. Maybe because we were not raised together (my both parents are polygamous). But I want a close friend, mentor, and confidant out of him. Not a never smiling, rigid brother and boss. I've tried talking to him severally but there are no positive changes from him.


My other half-siblings from my father's side are no-go areas. They are all friendly enemies who are jealous of every bit of my success, especially in my academics. Because they all blew up the opportunities to go to higher institutions. They have so much hatred for me because I'm the last child of the family and I used to be Dad's favourite.


So I decided to go live with my Dad's friend in Ogun state and that was when life drew its nightmares upon me. Dad's friend is a very good man, his family members are good people as well. They welcomed me like their child, I would rate them better than some of my family members.


Ogun state pose to be like paradise to me, there was stable electricity, inverter, and generator. That's 24/7 light, the environment was conducive and I was confident that I would heal fast and achieve a lot here.

I feel my productive energy coming back and I was enthused again. I drafted some core goals that I need to achieve their in Ogun state like taking a Data Analysis Course, Joining the Nigeria Institute of Public Relations (NIPR), Raising my school fees, going back fully to Internet Marketing, Completing My Final year research Project, Finding an investor and publisher for my book, etc.


A few weeks into my stay in Ogun state, I began to lose interest in almost everything, I became indifferent to achieving my goals, and I became extremely lazy - giving meaningless excuses and procrastinating till eternity.

I wasn't lazy with house chores, I did that perfectly. But when it comes to doing little things that will develop me and prepare a better future for me, I wasn't motivated to do any. I sat myself down severally and talked senses into my head but, it seems I wasn't gonna yield.

I knelt, begged myself, and cried a lot because I knew it was my life and I need to take responsibility for it. I told myself that even if I wasn't making money, I should engage in things that would develop me. Yet, I didn't change. It's two mouth now in Ogun state, and I've not been productive at all.


Now all I do is waste my precious time with the TV, playing games or on social media, eating like a foodie, sleeping like a bull, and chatting with some friends (distractions). This kind of lifestyle has become a daily routine for me.


This isn't me, this is not the way I used to be. I used to be a very intelligent, hardworking, serious, and dedicated goal-getter who used to be very serious with his life and is determined to fetch a bright future for himself. I've heard people talk about comfort zone but I never experienced one not until now.

Each day, my mind will always tell me that I'll bounce back to whom I used to be, but if school resumes without me achieving my goals here in Ogun state. l'll feel like a total failure. I know I need to act fast, cause time isn't waiting for me.


I am considering leaving Ogun state, to go and stay in my brother's place in Lagos, at least I can be confident of productivity there. but I don't want to leave a negative mindset in Dad's friend's mind about my sudden leaving. He might feel I don't like his place and I can't keep wasting my time here doing nothing.


Although I'm tempted to think this is a spiritual attack, I wanna go back to Lagos to see if I'd be productive there.


Please, good people of Nairaland, advise me on what to do. And please recommend tactics and strategy that can save me from this situation even if it means reading a life changing book.

DropsMic:
As someone who is from a family of native doctors make i tell you the truth.. Your problem is not from the village. Your problem na say you dey live for Nigeria — aplace filled with People of God with no God in their hearts — and you are not willing to bend your morals.

One of the best things I read today!