₦airaland Forum

ImaIma1:
Marriage is one place that is really not for the faint hearted as you have stated, and we have to develop a tough skin and drop our expectations.

There are some traits that you may have overlooked while dating that has come to rear it's ugly head in marriage. Marriage decision is one of the most important decisions we will ever make as per choosing a partner because when the love clears from our eyes, our faults are magnified.

Right now, it is either you want to stay and manage her excesses or walk away. But bringing your wife's faults here for strangers to bash her is not something you should do if your marriage means anything to you.

You will agree with me that you also have faults that she complains about, except you want to say you are the perfect one while she's the only one with issues. But we know that can't be true. Imagine reading a post from your wife here, how would you feel?

Some guys here will capitalize on your wife's faults and try to sow a seed of discord between you two. However, it is your marriage. If you decide to listen to prejudiced people concerning your marriage, that is on you.

Since your wife doesn't seem to take corrections about the things you have hammered on, you could try counselling, talking to an elder in her family, etc. Exhaust all options till you are left with no other choice.

Same shit and u keep saying same shit all d time.
All these frustrated aunties for Nairaland no go allow us see road. A woman go bring her wahala here u ladies go even do d burial arrangement of d husband before killing him, while a man go bring wife wahala una go change voice over night.
I will still maintain my stand that I only blame guys or men, bcs most of married men brought it on themselves.
Its hightime guys differentiate btw love, caring and being stupid.

..... Men. No matter how much you love your wife.Please and please, always be the trouble maker in your house.
Shikinan.

Only the wise will understand this.

@OP. You shouldn't be worried about the time she goes out on Mondays to get what she needed for her business because the reason she gave is very valid considering the type of business she does. Your concern should be in the areas of her dirtyness,carelessness,lies,non challant attitudes and her inabilities of taking corrections/ making amends.

But the whole truth is that all was your fault because you have allowed such behaviours for a very long time.

Ishilove:
Oh, it has EVERYTHING to do with this thread. You seem very opinionated about how a man should handle his marital affairs, so one should expect you are speaking from a position of practical experience.

Practical experience.

You woke up by 8.42am and your pikin get us passport. Chai, show us the way na.

Your wife is more interested in the achievement of her goals and u seem to be detail - oriented so u guys should compliment each other. I'm absent minded so every time I step out of a taxi, plane seat, restaurant I usually look through to make sure I don't leave anything behind. So u can get her to always take a second glance while u support her by being her third eye till she gets the hang of it.

JONNYSPUTE:
..... Men. No matter how much you love your wife.Please and please, always be the trouble maker in your house.
Shikinan.

Only the wise will understand this.

@OP. You shouldn't be worried about the time she goes out on Mondays to get what she needed for her business because the reason she gave is very valid considering the type of business she does. Your concern should be in the areas of her dirtyness,carelessness,lies,non challant attitudes and her inabilities of taking corrections/ making amends.

But the whole truth is that all was your fault because you have allowed such behaviours for a very long time.

I agree

Women are inherently repulsive to accountability and a sense of responsibility.

See how they were all masturbating around, trying to absolve the wife of all blame.
Its really saddening and shameful.

Men, you must always learn to put yourself first AT ALL TIMES.
Women don't love the way you do, they only love opportunistically.

Protect yourself at all times. Nigerian women especially are something else.

ImaIma1:
Marriage is one place that is really not for the faint hearted as you have stated, and we have to develop a tough skin and drop our expectations.

There are some traits that you may have overlooked while dating that has come to rear it's ugly head in marriage. Marriage decision is one of the most important decisions we will ever make as per choosing a partner because when the love clears from our eyes, our faults are magnified.

Right now, it is either you want to stay and manage her excesses or walk away. But bringing your wife's faults here for strangers to bash her is not something you should do if your marriage means anything to you.

You will agree with me that you also have faults that she complains about, except you want to say you are the perfect one while she's the only one with issues. But we know that can't be true. Imagine reading a post from your wife here, how would you feel?

Some guys here will capitalize on your wife's faults and try to sow a seed of discord between you two. However, it is your marriage. If you decide to listen to prejudiced people concerning your marriage, that is on you.

Since your wife doesn't seem to take corrections about the things you have hammered on, you could try counselling, talking to an elder in her family, etc. Exhaust all options till you are left with no other choice.

I do understand your points and assertion, but trust me it aint like most of the bashing or negative talk about me or her would have any initial effect on our marital union whatsoever, but then, responding to the embolden, Sure I do have my faults too, but majority comes from her, like almost all the time, she wants me to even adapt to the habits, like just manage it thats how am created, life is short, dont take things too serious. Like over the years kept saying childrens safety is priority, correction upon correction on this subject since wayback, but this year alone madam has gone to 5 start hotels to take pictures for modelling clothings, while she leaves kids on their own at the pool side, u can imagine leaving your 8 year old already looking adultlike daughter on her own at the salon while she drives off to come get her later, is this current Nigeria we live in. We have gone for counselling, the changes only last 2months, then it dips back to its former form. I weak

JONNYSPUTE:
..... Men. No matter how much you love your wife.Please and please, always be the trouble maker in your house.
Shikinan.

Only the wise will understand this.

@OP. You shouldn't be worried about the time she goes out on Mondays to get what she needed for her business because the reason she gave is very valid considering the type of business she does. Your concern should be in the areas of her dirtyness,carelessness,lies,non challant attitudes and her inabilities of taking corrections/ making amends.

But the whole truth is that all was your fault because you have allowed such behaviours for a very long time.

I swear to God, i have tried my best, he nor just work, its a tough one, I never thought of it to be like this.

satandeterrible:
Women are inherently repulsive to accountability and a sense of responsibility.

See how they were all masturbating around, trying to absolve the wife of all blame.
Its really saddening and shameful.

Men, you must always learn to put yourself first AT ALL TIMES.
Women don't love the way you do, they only love opportunistically.

Protect yourself at all times. Nigerian women especially are something else.

Naija women are never ready to accept any responsibility, they are ever ready to tell u 1001 reasons why they did what they did and why u must count on them.
I hv being hammering it here that, d earlier men realize that naija women are opportunist d better for them and their sanity.

twinning200:
I do understand your points and assertion, but trust me it aint like most of the bashing or negative talk about me or her would have any initial effect on our marital union whatsoever, but then, responding to the embolden, Sure I do have my faults too, but majority comes from her, like almost all the time, she wants me to even adapt to the habits, like just manage it thats how am created, life is short, dont take things too serious. Like over the years kept saying childrens safety is priority, correction upon correction on this subject since wayback, but this year alone madam has gone to 5 start hotels to take pictures for modelling clothings, while she leaves kids on their own at the pool side, u can imagine leaving your 8 year old already looking adultlike daughter on her own at the salon while she drives off to come get her later, is this current Nigeria we live in. We have gone for counselling, the changes only last 2months, then it dips back to its former form. I weak

So rather than putting in the effort to work on herself, she wants you to accept her the way she is. Your wife is not willing to change.

The kids part is completely unacceptable especially at these times where kidnap is very common and little girls are being preyed on.

It seems her business is more important to her. It will be hard to make her more concerned about the children if she doesn't have the sense and consciousness on her own to do so. And it might take something bad happening before she has a wake up call. But I don't think you want it to get to that.

If she was interested in making things better, I would have advised that she gets an assistant that can do the modeling photos, etc.

At this point you need to act in the interest of th children and what is best for them and for you too. Let the family know about all these lapses as you go along. May God give you the wisdom.

If he’s handling only 75% of the bills, he should gladly handle 25% of the household care. That means on Sundays and Mondays, he should happily cook, clean, care for the kids, do laundry etc in those days.

Don’t be surprised his 75% contribution is the rent that he pays, not knowing how much things cost in the market. Meanwhile his wife is probably spending more to feed the family than they are paying in other expenses.

emmanuelbrown26:
When somebody is handling 75% of bills, automatically d person should be in charge of d affairs of that institution.
U didn't mention d husband's first annoyance.
U didn't ask d husband for long it has being going on like that?
For d husband to come on nairaland and say things like this, shows that he has seen more than what he wrote.

twinning200:
I swear to God, i have tried my best, he nor just work, its a tough one, I never thought of it to be like this.

..... Sorry about that bro but as it is now,I think you should get her family members involved.

Mariangeles:
Imagine the man of the house, waking up by 8:42am on a weekday....even if he owns his business.
What kind of example is he setting for his children?
And you find nothing wrong with that? How would you?
He should learn from his wife.

Are you fucking serious?

Did you just say this?

Ishilove:
Are you married?

Are you your self married?

Raalsalghul:
Are you your self married?

You that are asking, are you married? The singles are the most opinionated about marital affairs, giving very strong opinions about an institution they know nothing about.

Ishilove:
You that are asking, are you married? The singles are the most opinionated about marital affairs, giving very strong opinions about an institution they know nothing about.

Oui. I'm single and I don't give my opinion(s) about an institution I consider to be fraud (According to American standard).

ShaqFu:
Oui. I'm single and I don't give my opinion(s) about an institution I consider to be fraud (According to American standard).

Well, you don't give an opinion but majority do. They stand at the window outside,point fingers and tell those in the house how to keep the house tidy.

cococandy:
If he’s handling only 75% of the bills, he should gladly handle 25% of the household care. That means on Sundays and Mondays, he should happily cook, clean, care for the kids, do laundry etc in those days.

Don’t be surprised his 75% contribution is the rent that he pays, not knowing how much things cost in the market. Meanwhile his wife is probably spending more to feed the family than they are paying in other expenses.

Dont be harsh, 75% includes 2 million rent, childrens school fees tuning up to like almost a million and the half a year, groceries, clothings, outing spending, weekly feeding, though she spends her majorly on kitchen too, when I say 75% i know what am talking about.

twinning200:
Dont be harsh, 75% includes 2 million rent, childrens school fees tuning up to like almost a million and the half a year, groceries, clothings, outing spending, weekly feeding, though she spends her majorly on kitchen too, when I say 75% i know what am talking about.

It’s still 75% based on your family expenses and as such my comment still stands.

twinning200:
guys something have been happening for a while now, signs are there that something unknown could be looming or happening but what happened today is what
made me create this post. My wife is a fashion designer, she goes to tejuosho market to buy materials and sometimes she claims she buys ready made to sell. Sometimes, mostly on Mondays like this, she wont inform me that shes leaving early, and when she does, breakfast is missed, or any other important stuff is sidelined. Overtime we have had discussion on why it is always like this, and her excuse have always been " if i dont meet up early, there are certain materials that i wont be able to get, will be sold out before i reach there" that statement to me sort of like made a little sense, but shouldnt be to the detriment to the responsibility of her as a wife considering the fact that I manage 75% of the home financial responsibility.

So today, I woke up 8.42am, she was gone since, i showered, clothed myself to resume office, by the time i opened the car door, the safe compartment was opened down with all of our international passports, both her passport, my passpport, our kids USA passport all there, my hand fall, immediately. The reason why the passport were there is because we had gone somewhere yesterday to do sometings, and the passports where required, though we forgot to return them back inside when we got back home. The moment I saw the opened down compartment, I did a video and sent it to her via whatsapp, and i stated the obvious that it was because of the rush, she concurred and said she didnt see the passports, common, over 6 passports clearly and obviously showing, next she said the stuff probably didnt close well. Now peeps, is it that bad that rushing to get to the market to get materials could make a woman overlook such important documents being opened to the public eye, because anybody passing on the street can definitely see the passports from the passenger side of the safe compartment, why the rush that u took something out of there and couldnt push it back to lock, or was so much in a rush that in the process of pushing it back, the rushing didnt make her push it back properly to lock. I'm beginning to think something else, who else is thinking what am thinking? Plus if I say we need to regulate her rushment to the market, she go talk sey short men like me are sort of controlling.

"Rushment" ...mehn e be like den born your wife ontop mount Rushmore. Do you two keep separate finances? If yes, then your wife has taken the desire the have an insurance policy more seriously than her role as a wife. You wife is taking money making more seriously than her marriage. Are you cheating on her sir? If yes, then your wife is likely arming herself financially to be independent of you... it's your marriage, deal with it!

cococandy:
It’s still 75% based on your family expenses and as such my comment still stands.

It stands on ur erected pinis? I would say no because you are female.

twinning200:
It stands on ur erected pinis? I would say no because you are female.

does this make sense to you?