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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man - Family - Nairaland

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My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 12:50pm On Sep 13, 2019
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by yazga: 1:12pm On Sep 13, 2019
Did the kidney suddenly fail or it was there all along and wasn't disclosed? If it wasn't disclosed, she has a choice to walk away. If it happened suddenly, she ought to make sacrifice but you can't force her. I believe he has siblings, let love ànd blood lead.

Again, Instead of the two families to sit down and look for a suitable solution, it's divorce they are pushing her for? A fresh marriage for that matter, what exactly was their reason to get married if they can't support and help each other at their down times?

392 Likes 17 Shares

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by ariyebaba(m): 1:55pm On Sep 13, 2019
YOLO !

sad

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 2:00pm On Sep 13, 2019
g

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by gidob(m): 2:19pm On Sep 13, 2019
truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.



What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by sunnitus: 2:27pm On Sep 13, 2019
true love which lead to marriage is all about sacrifice, as we all know not all marriages are built on true love. if she truly love her husband let her sacrifice for him regardless of what her family members are saying..but if she don't love him let her do as she pleases, but let her also know that if anything should happen to that man because of the action she want to take, she will forever live with that guilt....let her think well before she act

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by catwalq(f): 2:31pm On Sep 13, 2019
It's a decision only your sis can make. If she wants to do it fine,if not....She shouldn't be compelled into doing anything.

I think it should take more than a year for a kidney to get so bad as to be replaced ( don't quote me on that o)

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by meobizy(f): 2:33pm On Sep 13, 2019
It’s her marriage. She can do whatever the bleep she wants. OP, mind your business and stop airing her dirty laundry to strangers who don’t care to begin with.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by ednut1(m): 2:40pm On Sep 13, 2019
if this story is true. this a pointer that true love is a scam. many people are in relationships for material or societal gains

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by sisisioge: 2:42pm On Sep 13, 2019
grin grin grin grin

Sorry, it's quite funny!

If your aunty actually married this guy because she wanna spend the rest of her long life with him in love and strength, she wouldn't have to be asked about the kidney thing. But again, na she know wetin she see wey make her put her feet down against giving. Please don't make it your business, I'm sure she would make the best decision that suits her situation. Good luck to her.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 2:45pm On Sep 13, 2019
more reason to believe that marriage is only for better if you didn't cook the story.

in this world, only delude individuals love unconditionally

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by DaBogu: 3:04pm On Sep 13, 2019
Wawuuuu men are not only marrying for free emotional and domestic labour they’ve also started marrying for organs as well. There’s no way he’s just now finding out now that he’s sick 2 months after marrying her.
Awon organ harvesters. God safe us.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Chosen1984(m): 3:06pm On Sep 13, 2019
Her Husband should be her First Priority! That's just the truth!

As long as they have been Married... she is Meant to stay with the Man

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by WizBLANCE(m): 3:06pm On Sep 13, 2019
Was she given to marriage against her wish?
How old is she?
What is her education level?
Do she love this man at all?

A honest answer to these questions can help me make a decision for her... That's if she can't make one for herself.

1 Like

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by nicepoker101(m): 3:22pm On Sep 13, 2019
The moment you start thinking of getting married. That's when you have finally given up in life. Useless in-laws.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 3:40pm On Sep 13, 2019
Your cousin should first and foremost consider any effects donation might have on her overall health. Confirming that your cousin is a biological match means some steps already have been taken. Further 'light' tests should be considered to be sure there are no medical challenges (diabetes, HBP, etc.). Presence of health challenges automatically nullifies chances of donating to her husband. In my opinion, it's better to decline by dwelling on the aforementioned challenges.

Where there are no underlying health issues, no one should pressure her into giving her organ. Organ donation is more of sacrifice and selflessness than romantic and sexual love. It takes a special kind of love to give an organ to a spouse, sister, brother, parents or child, etc. What if she loves her husband but just can't trust the medical procedure? Some people don't trust medical doctors and surgical procedures. It's just what it is.

The mother of the man in context can also come forward and donate to her son. After all, people have made us believe that the love a mother has towards her son exceeds all forms of love. Let her come and prove that love.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 3:44pm On Sep 13, 2019
Did your cousin not know her husband has kidney problem, because for transplant to be the last option, then the kidney problem must have started a long time ago.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by 24kmagic: 3:45pm On Sep 13, 2019
What are the odds of a successful kidney transplant?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:45pm On Sep 13, 2019
truefood45:
it is a tradition of love where people believe marriage is for better for worse, if your cousin consider their request a threat, she should consider divorce, but she should mind the impart of divorce to the sick man, let her accept people who may call her wicked, and get what she want, solution is always available but is not known, her husband is cause of his own sickness and has continued to sustain it, sickness cannot grow in a body unless the body supported it, ignorance is not always enough to stop any sickness but knowledge can, try true food today, you can from there see the reason why many sickness become incurable, it is dilemma she either give it or she leave but knowledge can always save.



.. What a beautiful nonsense.

86 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 3:59pm On Sep 13, 2019
WizBLANCE:
Was she given to marriage against her wish?
How old is she?
What is her education level?
Do she love this man at all?

A honest answer to these questions can help me make a decision for her... That's if she can't make one for herself.
1. No
2. Old enought o get married
3. Bsc
4. She is in the best position to answer

6 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 4:02pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:

Your cousin should first and foremost consider any effects donation might have on her overall health. Confirming that your cousin is a biological match means some steps already have been taken. Further 'light' tests should be considered to be sure there are no medical challenges (diabetes, HBP, etc.). Presence of health challenges automatically nullifies chances of donating to her husband. In my opinion, it's better to decline by dwelling on the aforementioned challenges.

Where there are no underlying health issues, no one should pressure her into giving her organ. Organ donation is more of sacrifice and selflessness, not necessarily the kind of romantic and sexual love we preach today. It takes a special kind of love to give an organ to a spouse, sister, brother, parents or child, etc. What if she loves her husband but just can't trust the medical procedure? Some people don't trust medical doctors and surgical procedures. It's just what it is.

The mother of the man in context can also come forward and donate to her son. After all, people have made us believe that the love a mother has towards her son exceeds all forms of love. Let her come and prove that love.

Bolded, Thank you.
Italics, good question

6 Likes

Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by bmdmix: 4:14pm On Sep 13, 2019
gidob:

What are you even saying...after writing so much, you made no point
i think say na only me notice if na exam question I go tell d student to come over n see me and tell me wetin em dey smoke i wan join

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by gideonvalor98(m): 4:22pm On Sep 13, 2019
I think marriage is for better for worse but it seem that's not obtainable in this modern age...what a pity. Another thing is about what they share between eachother love,moments, good times, friendship...for the fact that the man contributed in her education says a lot. Finally, the ball is in her court , puting all these aforementioned in mind....what's will she decide? We all need to make some kind of sacrifices in one way or the other. Shalom!
Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by franklingud(m): 4:28pm On Sep 13, 2019
Wickedness and more of it.

Someone that helped train you in school and also married you on top of it all.

Humanity and savagery is getting out of hand.


AkwaEtitiBabe what can you say about this?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 4:29pm On Sep 13, 2019
Lol. Iffa hear say she give her kidney. Even if you paid ten times her school fees and gave up an arm to save her life in the past, she will not gree. Any excuse the woman is giving is trash, she is not giving no matter what. cheesy

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Vieamie: 4:31pm On Sep 13, 2019
She does not love her hubsand at all. Even if the kidney problem was there before or not, Who think twice on saving the life of her spouse? something a stranger can even do for another.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 4:39pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:
Your cousin should first and foremost consider any effects donation might have on her overall health. Confirming that your cousin is a biological match means some steps already have been taken. Further 'light' tests should be considered to be sure there are no medical challenges (diabetes, HBP, etc.). Presence of health challenges automatically nullifies chances of donating to her husband. In my opinion, it's better to decline by dwelling on the aforementioned challenges.

Where there are no underlying health issues, no one should pressure her into giving her organ. Organ donation is more of sacrifice and selflessness than romantic and sexual love. It takes a special kind of love to give an organ to a spouse, sister, brother, parents or child, etc. What if she loves her husband but just can't trust the medical procedure? Some people don't trust medical doctors and surgical procedures. It's just what it is.

The mother of the man in context can also come forward and donate to her son. After all, people have made us believe that the love a mother has towards her son exceeds all forms of love. Let her come and prove that love.

I know you yourself won't give so you support the narrative that it's not right to give for sake of a troubled conscience. Whether you like it or not, love requires sacrifice. There is no love without sacrifice. Love is part of romantic love. Love is love. Even if Nigeria gives the best medical services in the world, she will still not give the kidney. There is no excuse. A human being can survive on one kidney. That's a fact. All excuses are for the gods. She doesn't want to give. If she loves her husband, she will give. Let's tell it like it is and stop covering people's selfishness.

Females on this thread are already making up excuses for her and defending her because they themselves can't love their men to give them their kidneys. To soothe their troubled conscience, which arises from the fact that they are selfish and have no love, they are making up excuses to justify their selfishness and lack of love.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Nobody: 4:42pm On Sep 13, 2019
LillyVal:
My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of Kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months na, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

a. would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?
Let her do what she wants to do. It is not by force to give him her kidney
Also, isn't it difficult to carry a pregnancy with just one kidney in future?

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 4:48pm On Sep 13, 2019
Martinez39:
I know you yourself won't give so you support the narrative that it's not right to give for sake of a troubled conscience. Whether you like it or not, love requires sacrifice. There is no love without sacrifice. Love is part of romantic love. Love is love. Even if Nigeria gives the best medical services in the world, she will still not give the kidney. There is no excuse. A human being can survive on one kidney. That's a fact. All excuses are for the gods. She doesn't want to give. If she loves her husband, she will give. Let's tell it like it is and stop covering people's selfishness.

Females on this thread are already making up excuses for her and defending her because they themselves can't love their men to give them their kidneys. To soothe their troubled conscience, which arises from the fact that they are selfish and have no love, they are making up excuses to justify their selfishness and lack of love.

You have not seen instances where people refuse surgery for life threatening situations out of fear but instead choose to pray and visit men of God? You think they don't love themselves?


If love is love, go and donate your kidney to your girlfriend of 3 months. Love is sacrificial but it takes some levels of love to invoke deeper sacrifices. I would not empty my life savings for a girlfriend of 3 months, but I probably would do even more for a wife of 10-20 years. Love is not love, it takes a great deal of work and commitment to invoke deep commitment and sacrifice on the other side.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Martinez39(m): 4:56pm On Sep 13, 2019
Acidosis:


You have not seen an instance where people refuse surgery for a life threatening situation but instead choose to pray and visit men of God? You want to love someone else more than you love yourself? Ose Jesus Christ.
This is nonsense and unrelated to our discussion. People who pray instead of going to the doctors are just being foolish and are blinded by faith. It has nothing to do with love. It's just an immense confidence in one's god. A human being can run fine on one kidney. There is no reason to deny your good husband of a kidney, let's just admit that she doesn't love her good husband and is willing to run when sh!t hits the fan. Let's say it as it is and stop giving excuses.

If love is love, go and donate your kidney to your girlfriend.
I don't have a girlfriend and would never have one.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by WizBLANCE(m): 4:59pm On Sep 13, 2019
LillyVal:

1. No
2. Old enought o get married
3. Bsc
4. She is in the best position to answer

From the above reply, I won't link it to child marriage or lack of experience... But I can say she don't love the man... I maybe wrong but if she love him enough we won't be reading this post here. It would be that she donated her kidney even against her husband's wish

Better put, she should make sure she has nothing to lose. She should weigh the both options well to make sure she is taking the best move...

I am scared she may give her kidney to the man only to discover that's the sole purpose of the Union.

I am also scared if he gets the kidney from somebody else she won't enjoy her marriage.

She should take the best step for herself; knowing she will live with it.... Nobody should force her into doing anything... To avoid buhary saying it's past administration that caused it.

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Re: My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man by Acidosis(m): 5:01pm On Sep 13, 2019
Martinez39:
This is nonsense and unrelated to our discussion. People who pray instead of going to the doctors are just being foolish and are blinded by faith. It has nothing to do with love. It's just an immense confidence in one's god. A human being can run fine on one kidney. There is no reason to deny your good husband of a kidney, let's just admit that she doesn't love her good husband and is willing to run when sh!t hits the fan. Let's say it as it is and stop giving excuses.

I don't have a girlfriend and would never have one.

It seems like you're extremely ignorant but then again, I believe you're simply denying the truth. Take a moment to think about your relationships or marriage. What's the most remarkable thing you've done for your girlfriend/wife? Would you have done exact thing at the beginning of your relationship? No, right? Does it mean you don't love her from inception? You don't just wake up to start loving and making sacrifices for someone like a controlled zombie. It takes a great deal of commitment to arrive at that level. Husband or not, did you take a moment to ask how long they've been together?

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