₦airaland Forum

Afamsi:
Sometimes it is women that turn their husbands to beasts.

descarado:
Very fictitious.

Seriously?
The person should improve in his story telling.
35%

Klass99:
The same goal I had, thanks to an amazing author James Patterson, a responsible sister and her equally responsible flatmates who exposed my mind to a world of possibilities beyond marriage and children, as a young girl. That last sentence made me smile.

alphaNomega:
You don't need a job to get your marriage back. Pressure your husband to open a business you can do.

Klass99:
Oh yes, I smiled .

So long as you end up with someone who cares about you, the feeling is mutual and you are both in it for the companionship, you'll be more than alright. Nothing beats good companionship, in my book of life!

The first house in a town is not necessarily the most beautiful one either, you can marry in your 50s or 60s and still enjoy yourself. I watched a documentary on aged folks, a widow and divorced man (both in their 60s) remarried each other and when interviewed separately they both expressed genuine joy at meeting each other.

Twinklelove:
I got married to my husband truly not knowing who he was, I was naive and couldn't differentiate between love and lust the age bracket was close to 10yrs...to me it was love yes i truly loved him because i thought he loved me. We have two beautiful kids, I was abused by my husband several times, there was a time he beat me I had to use dark glasses to work while asked what happened? I had to cover up for the beasts.....he Continued till I stood up for myself that was how the physical abuses stopped....

But he continued to emotionally black mail me I got out of my job because of school, that was where my problem started he is a high profile man in his state and also a pretender...they say "Charity begins at home" But that's not in my house, because he only gives us food when we are in good terms he goes to the market to buy tomatoes and the likes, I don't care because he says its his money. He is a chronic smoker and womaniser someone who has slept with his friends wife. My husband is very good at keeping malice infact, he has kept malice with me for close to a year but eventually started speaking with me with the intervention of our clergy...I later discovered it was because of another woman...I got used to the fact that he won't stop so I moved on with my life knowing that someday old age will catch up......I have had to treat infections severally all in the name of love

This man works in the hospital...but when am ill I have to buy drugs from him.....I have to borrow money from him with written agreement and witness that I will pay back which he collects.... Right now I still stay in same house with him where by he cooks for himself because he doesn't speak me, and stopped eating my food......he stopped sleeping with me saying some very hurtful things about sex. I even went into depression because he said I am a liability. My marriage is determined by my ability to provide too. He has belittled me before his family......he can't even protect me.

Right now..lust found me again yes i mean lust. A very wealthy widower who is so interested in me and my kids. But of course same gender everywhere. I met him while I went for job hunt.. am a chartered accountant but menhh its so hard that i can't express my pains. At first he said there isn't any vacancy, I got up to leave then he noticed I had tears in my eyes and called me back..I said I am fine but deep within I was sad knowing I had a beast waiting for me at home and of course I was scared of going home.....I had to speak out because its so heavy...he asked for my phone number incase there is an opening, After some few days, he called and asked to see me at the office. We talked and surprisingly he prayed with me....Now he has asked me out severally but I know the Devil wears prada that gender won't change......right now am back to school and presently this man has been so helpful to me to the extend of asking me to take one of his cars because my husband ceased my car....this man tells me how beautiful I look and so many things that makes me feel good about myself. I am someone else's wife but another buys me expensive things....irony of life..
Almost all times i go out, men ask me out on date, But i turn them down. I have never cheated on my husband and hope things get better someday.

Please I need to get a job to get my marriage back.

Afamsi:
Sometimes it is women that turn their husbands to beasts.

Godoverevery:
And for the new man ,you women never learn at all ......just remember how you and your husband started so you can know there nothing really different with the new man.

So in other words, all men are the same?

cayorday89:
Pressurizing the husband will not yield any result, his ability to get away with all that he does is to render her completely dependent without even providing basic need as at when due. What she needs, is to get a job, save massively which is not even certain considering the economic situation and get a divorce.

alphaNomega:
Divorce also costs money. What kind of job will she have that will enable her finance her court case if she takes your advice for a divorce.

Remember this is a one-sided story. From all indicators so far it is obvious the cause of their problems are financial demands. We can not make any meaningful contribution until we hear from the husband.

Kobojunkie:
She can always do what most Nigerian men already do which is abandon their families to start other families elsewhere. That way she can save up the money she needs and file for divorce from him at a later date.

One-sided story or not, marriage is meant to serve as a prison for anyone. Letting her know the options available to her is not the wrong way to go.

alphaNomega:
Calm down, make we hear from the husband first.

Kobojunkie:
Why?

alphaNomega:
You should know the importance of hearing both sides of a story

Kobojunkie:
In this case, what does hearing the husband's side of the story do?

Would it somehow invalidate this woman's personal views and feelings about her marriage or will it cause you to give advice her differently on what is possible best way forward for her?

alphaNomega:
She could be leaving out an important part of the story to paint a different picture.

I tell you again, calm down and hear from her husband.

Kobojunkie:
Again, In this case, what does hearing the husband's side or "important piece of the story" do?

Would it somehow invalidate this woman's personal views and feelings about her marriage or will it cause you to give advice her differently on what is possible best way forward for her?