Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

Advice21:
Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

Hmmm

Most people take decisions without inquiring or getting to hear from God first and when it's gets all belly up, they turn to accuse God and say He failed them. Marriage is a the first institution created by God and thus a serious one at it and not the type of thing you just jump into. But I won't blame you atm tbh I understand you more than you think

The solution right now is to quit the marriage, does the Bible agree to this? Yes why? cause of adultery which is the basis for Divorce among couple. Learn from Osinachi and quit that relationship now while you're still alive

In other way, contact us if you wan down hin papa

My dear, never for once think God has failed you. God is infallible, he is faithful. Sometimes the things we wished to happen doesn’t , and we are left on the bad side of life.

Some things will happen to us despite we don’t deserve it. Life is a wilderness , obstacles will come, adversities will almost cripple the spirit.

We can’t fully understand it all and most times no explanation would be given. You can’t have gold without the fire, you can’t have a sharp sword without a metal. Adversity has a way of bringing out the best in us so channel the pain into your passion to succeed above all.

I can’t tell you whether to leave your husband or not, choice is yours! But never have a wrong impression about God, pls! God is the most holy , the only living God,He can never lie. Ask for strength , beg for mercy, beg for a new perspective to be given you and it shall be given.

Sorry for what you're going through.

It's understandable that you want to blame someone and God is convenient. I don't know what God is supposed to have done in this scenario though ,he gave us all brains and a discerning mind.

1. You chose to marry a man who you knew was poor.You knew he had no money and still entered with clear eye so I think to some extent you're alright with lack of money.

2.My main concern is the drugs,cheating etc.How come you got pregnant while all this was happening? Too late to cry over spilt milk.Is there anything that makes you happy at all? Get a hobby and start practicing it for the sake of the baby because a depressed mother is a risk to the unborn child.

Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

Don't blame yourself too much,it would have been wiser to have spent more time getting to know the man but its now too late.

If you don't want your life to be hell on earth,better leave.Go and start afresh.Pack your things and go to your parents house. They cannot chase you away. There is no way this situation will improve,better to escape than spend the next 100 years praying for change. Run now that you have a chance.
I wish you all the best.

PrayerMasterKey:
Sorry for what you're going through.

It's understandable that you want to blame someone and God is convenient. I don't know what God is supposed to have done in this scenario though ,he gave us all brains and a discerning mind.

1. You chose to marry a man who you knew was poor.You knew he had no money and still entered with clear eye so I think to some extent you're alright with lack of money.

2.My main concern is the drugs,cheating etc.How come you got pregnant while all this was happening? Too late to cry over spilt milk.Is there anything that makes you happy at all? Get a hobby and start practicing it for the sake of the baby because a depressed mother is a risk to the unborn child.

Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

Don't blame yourself too much,it would have been wiser to have spent more time getting to know the man but its now too late.

If you don't want your life to be hell on earth,better leave.Go and start afresh.Pack your things and go to your parents house. They cannot chase you away. There is no way this situation will improve,better to escape than spend the next 100 years praying for change. Run now that you have a chance.
I wish you all the best.

OP, please follow this advise. Remember if you have lost anything, God is the reason you have not lost everything. Stop blaming God, if He doesn't help you, who will? You should be grateful to God you can remedy the situation now. It is well. This is the time to run to God.

So sorry this had to happen to you Ma'am.

You seem like a very good person and trust me, He doesn't deserve you.

Well, I can't say you should leave but if you feel like.

Just do it, Because This is just like 20% of his secret you just found out. They're even more to him.


What if the loyal boys he was talking about were cultist? And he is a cult leader?

What if? What if?

Please stay safe and think of your future, No matter the pain and embarrassment you might likely face now.

Hmmm!!! A point of correction as regards your post that God had failed you ,God never fails!! He left us to make our choices in everything including the choice of spouses. At this point, I will advise you stay away for sometime to avoid you seeing what might lead you to issues of grievous regrets until you put to bed. Your life and that of your unborn child is very important right now. While you are at it,be productive and more prayerful concerning your home. I wish you peace!!

If all you typed is true, then that man is nothing but a fraud!
He defrauded you into marrying.
Only you can decide your next move.

Learn to control the reality
Control your husband behaviour to Godly way rather than feeling bad
Do as if you must pass through this to go to your destination
Even you have secrets your husband need to know

It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

As expected, blame God for your bad decisions.

The people above me have spoken so well, I think it's okay to leave your marriage because of the reasons you've mentioned. God is always there for you, he loves you and wants the best for you, it's not late to start all over.

Drfernandez:
It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

This is the voice of the devil. Runnnnnn Op

Drfernandez:
It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

You are way overdue for mental status examination.

I did not read the long post but I believe you are wrong.

It's simple, guilty people write very long epistle to prove their innocence.

Mindlog:


You are way overdue for mental status examination.

God forbid, you can't kill me like you killed your cousin. Wicked soul. I guess you didn't believe that the truth will finally come out in the open. Get the eff off my mention.

Drfernandez:


God forbid, you can't kill me like you killed your cousin. Wicked soul. Get the eff off my mention.

I guess you attended the burial of this cousin you talk about.

Kai! This is so painful .

Where did you meet this kind of man tori oloun? Ha!

Is there any relative of yours outside where you live that you can run to in the meantime until you find your feet?

With the way he sleeps around, I fear he may soon get you infested with a deadly disease. Such a man is not good to be with.

Sorry for your predicament.
It is well.

God has never existed never depends on a fairytale imaginary being praying has never worked even research says it only makes matter worse

Advice21:
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

Where do you go? Back home to your parents.

How did such evil befall you? Well, why did you believe yourself too special for evil in the first place? Maybe if you go back to the Genesis of that idea, you will find the answer to that question.

You are not alone. Your parents are still alive and there is absolutely no reason why you sit tight with the evil you have discovered when you have a place to head back to. Some folks don't even have that..

Take responsibility for what were your mistakes in this so you can move on eventually from this as you decide to forgive yourself.

heendrix:
1..Most people take decisions without inquiring or getting to hear from God first and when it's gets all belly up, they turn to accuse God and say He failed them. Marriage is a the first institution created by God and thus a serious one at it and not the type of thing you just jump into. But I won't blame you atm tbh I understand you more than you think

2. The solution right now is to quit the marriage, does the Bible agree to this? Yes why? cause of adultery which is the basis for Divorce among couple. Learn from Osinachi and quit that relationship now while you're still alive

In other way, contact us if you wan down hin papa

1. CHURCHIANISM has absolutely nothing to do with God, so let's leave His mention out of this. The one who failed her isn't God but her parents who helped fill her head with lies about God, marriage and reality, it seems from her beginning. You only need read the first lines to realize she believed she was chaste and so walking a spirited being into marriage not realizing she is as naive as they come..

2. Jesus Christ never said divorce itself is a sin so no one should pretend it to be so. However, in her case, I doubt the religion she was indoctrinated in growing up will allow her accept the option since these beliefs have a way of ridding one of the ability to make right choices even when faced with this kind of reality.

Drfernandez:
It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

someone gave the late osinachi the same advice you just gave this woman now...Religion extremist!!!
Stupid man!!

Sad but God never fails. Why the hurry to get married Omo, one has to stay prayed up.

Advice21:
Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

Am sorry sister but e don tey wey i lost faith in prayers. I dont bliv prayer answers, but i bliv that God do some tins for a purpose.

God didnt fail you, you failed God.

Please hear me out.

Its funny how that your story is very similar to mine...its almost shocking.

I had same question as you, i served God with my whole heart, I married a virgin, why did God allow me enter the wrong hands.

Thankfully, through the help of the Holy Spirit and the teachings of anointed ministers I have studied through the years I discovered the following;

I FAILED GOD;
-When I Idolized my virginity and even thought, I can even walk with my eyes closed, God loves me too much to allow me enter gutter, i am too "precious"

-When i was a "Christian virgin" but was into pornography and masturbation

-When i idolized my Pastor instead of truly developing true relationship with Jesus

-When I didnt know what true fellowship with God was and thought that just being a church worker was good enough.

-When i started unclean chats and sex calls with my "ishmael"
-When I gave up my virginity to my "ishmael" because I felt we were getting married anyway.

If you did any of the above I did, you owe God an apology and seek His face on how you can make it up to Him

HOW WAS GOD SUPPOSE TO STOP ME FROM ENTERING ONE CHANCE WHEN I WAS MY OWN GOD, doing what ever I wanted and shouting hallelujah in church

Sorry but the best you can do is to learn how to now truly live for God in spirit and in truth.
In a nutshell, you cannot keep all of Gods statutes and he will ALLOW u enter one chance.

Where did you miss it? Ask God for forgiveness and raise awareness top younger ones how not to miss God...it will add purpose to your pain.

Safe delivery and all the best.

Rechargeam247:
Sad but God never fails. Why the hurry to get married Omo, one has to stay prayed up.

Pray well well my dear....welllll cos na for that busstop satan dey wait una

You have life, you are in good health, you are expecting a baby. A marital mistake can never be the end of the world for you, only if you will dust yourself up and mend the broken pieces of your life. Be wise, never let the actions of a useless' man make you speak negatively against God. If you wish to separate (leave the house) and give him time to change, fine. If you want to quit the marriage, fine. It's your decision to make. Run for your life and future, go somewhere and live till he's ready to change, tell him you are giving him time to change before you return, that's if you are sure the allegations you have against him are true.

OP, pls you have to apologize to God! God never failed you! Are you not a believer? Are you not serving a living God? Please I want you to challenge God! If you are sure, you have served Him all your life, pls challenge Him to turn things round! He will do it! Tell him to touch your husband life....be the positive believer you were before your marriage. Things will turn around for good for you. Pls trust God again! We will be praying for you and your family.

Advice21:
Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

I will advise that you quit the marriage but not abruptly because the man that's threatening his side chick will definitely come for your life if you divorce him.

Your being a virgin is the root of your problem. I don't mean to berate virginity, but my sisters that married as virgins aren't having a better marriage than those that didn't.

The reason is because you prioritize irrelevant things over reality. One of my sisters that got married to her husband solely because he knows God according to her definition is living not so good a life even with all our family investment in her for her education.

A man who is wretchedly poor cannot be good in other aspects of life. Something made him to be poor. It is his lifestyle.

But girls especially church girls believe there's dignity in poverty. Hope you are not proud? I noticed that girls that are proud end up marrying low life men who come to them with the guise of worshipping and caring for them.

I've written too much but my final advice is for you to leave the marriage in a way that your husband will not hurt you and your baby.

You're a graduate so you can get a job

Portifar:
OP, pls you have to apologize to God! God never failed you! Are you not a believer? Are you not serving a living God? Please I want you to challenge God!
If you are sure, you have served Him all your life, pls challenge Him to turn things round! He will do it! Tell him to touch your husband life....be the positive believer you were before your marriage. Things will turn around for good for you. Pls trust God again! We will be praying for you and your family.

Challenge what God to do what? Na so una dey cause women to spend their lives on end in running from one of your spiritual/prayer houses to another foolishly believing God needs to be challenged before He does what He says He will do.

Jesus Christ never said one has to challenge God in order to get answers from Him. Instead, what Jesus Christ taught to all who will in fact listen to Him is that the only way to get answers from God is by living one's life in continuous submission to and obedience to His teachings and commandments, not to be confused in any way with what are the doctrines and traditions of your pastors and mogs(along with their churches). Most of you who claim to believe simply spend your lives serving the doctrines and traditions of men instead of in fact obeying God Himself. How you convince yourselves that an unbendable God will bend His way towards you in your disobedience of His commandments by that is what is beyond me.

Drfernandez:
1. It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

2. Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

1. How in the world will his actions make her a better Christian abeg?

2. Her parents are wise in indoctrinating her with lies of men using God's name? Her parents are wise for raising her to fear returning to them when things get bad out in the world?

PrayerMasterKey:
Sorry for what you're going through.

It's understandable that you want to blame someone and God is convenient. I don't know what God is supposed to have done in this scenario though ,he gave us all brains and a discerning mind.

1. You chose to marry a man who you knew was poor.You knew he had no money and still entered with clear eye so I think to some extent you're alright with lack of money.

2.My main concern is the drugs,cheating etc.How come you got pregnant while all this was happening? Too late to cry over spilt milk.Is there anything that makes you happy at all? Get a hobby and start practicing it for the sake of the baby because a depressed mother is a risk to the unborn child.

Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

Don't blame yourself too much,it would have been wiser to have spent more time getting to know the man but its now too late.

If you don't want your life to be hell on earth,better leave.Go and start afresh.Pack your things and go to your parents house. They cannot chase you away. There is no way this situation will improve,better to escape than spend the next 100 years praying for change. Run now that you have a chance.
I wish you all the best.

@ the bolded; I swear, no truer truth has been said.