Rechargeam247:
Sad but God never fails. Why the hurry to get married Omo, one has to stay prayed up.

You can pray until you are at the point of death, if you don't do as God commands, He will not move a muscle for you. He is God, He does not change or bend His Way/Law for any man. Obedience is the mandate, and it is of all of His every commandment and teaching if you wish to enjoy that which He promised in return. No way around that.

All your pastors and mogs who pillage and destroy you with lies using the name of God do so knowing that they cannot move God by their lies but they can instead deceive gullible men in order to get their temporary desires met here on earth.

Nekky5:
Hmmm!!! A point of correction as regards your post that God had failed you ,God never fails!! He left us to make our choices in everything including the choice of spouses.

At this point, I will advise you stay away for sometime to avoid you seeing what might lead you to issues of grievous regrets until you put to bed. Your life and that of your unborn child is very important right now. While you are at it,be productive and more prayerful concerning your home. I wish you peace!!

God has always given man only one choice since the very beginning, and that has always been "trust and obey" or go it alone. Well, I don't have to explain how the world is filled to the brim instead with many who claim to believe in God yet refuse to do as God commands.

By the way, how does she go about staying away for some time from a man she lives with in a self-contained?

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Paragraphs!!!!!!


Paragraphs!!!!!!

God didn't fail u . u saw signs early on , proceeded to marry him . did God tell u get pregnant for him too after marriage ? u were seeing all signs say dis man go kill me before my time . a smart woman go plan her escape before pregnancy. no blame God for ur poor decisions

missimelda01:
As expected, blame God for your bad decisions.

The people above me have spoken so well, I think it's okay to leave your marriage because of the reasons you've mentioned. God is always there for you, he loves you and wants the best for you, it's not late to start all over.

got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come?

This is how she judges that he his a calm & God fearing man. Kaftan & nice native wears
Let us go and sow some natives this weekend, I am about to meet some new Wife materials

PrayerMasterKey:
Sorry for what you're going through.

It's understandable that you want to blame someone and God is convenient. I don't know what God is supposed to have done in this scenario though ,he gave us all brains and a discerning mind.

1. You chose to marry a man who you knew was poor.You knew he had no money and still entered with clear eye so I think to some extent you're alright with lack of money.

2.My main concern is the drugs,cheating etc.How come you got pregnant while all this was happening? Too late to cry over spilt milk.Is there anything that makes you happy at all? Get a hobby and start practicing it for the sake of the baby because a depressed mother is a risk to the unborn child.

Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

Don't blame yourself too much,it would have been wiser to have spent more time getting to know the man but its now too late.

If you don't want your life to be hell on earth,better leave.Go and start afresh.Pack your things and go to your parents house. They cannot chase you away. There is no way this situation will improve,better to escape than spend the next 100 years praying for change. Run now that you have a chance.
I wish you all the best.

Preach!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na why I wan marry Virgin boy from village oh.

Did you ever meet his parents, siblings? This is one of the reasons the African culture emphasizes the role of the family. It is not enough to meet a guy and jump into his house. His parents are the real deal. You can literally see through or know your partner by spending some time with his parents/siblings. Evaluate the relationship between your spouse and his/her family. Nothing works better and faster.

Anybody can wake up any day and claim anything but it's harder for 3 or more people to play a fake script. Moving forward, I'll advise you to begin to process your separation. Do not listen to your parents. Remember Osinachi?

PrayerMasterKey:
Sorry for what you're going through.

It's understandable that you want to blame someone and God is convenient. I don't know what God is supposed to have done in this scenario though ,he gave us all brains and a discerning mind.

1. You chose to marry a man who you knew was poor.You knew he had no money and still entered with clear eye so I think to some extent you're alright with lack of money.

2.My main concern is the drugs,cheating etc.How come you got pregnant while all this was happening? Too late to cry over spilt milk.Is there anything that makes you happy at all? Get a hobby and start practicing it for the sake of the baby because a depressed mother is a risk to the unborn child.

Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

Don't blame yourself too much,it would have been wiser to have spent more time getting to know the man but its now too late.

If you don't want your life to be hell on earth,better leave.Go and start afresh.Pack your things and go to your parents house. They cannot chase you away. There is no way this
situation will improve,better to escape than spend the next 100 years praying for change. Run now that you have a chance.
I wish you all the best.

God abeg o!!!

Klass99:


Chai, you are not nice .

I don’t know why some usernames came to mind as I read that post.

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pocohantas:


I don’t know why some usernames came to mind as I read that post.

..... Continue dey look for wahala until person go send you E slap.

Klass99:


Because you get yeye for body. I don tell you before na

JONNYSPUTE:
..... Continue dey look for wahala until person go send you E slap.

See as two of you are attacking me. I am traumatized.

sirp9898:
Learn to control the reality
Control your husband behaviour to Godly way rather than feeling bad
Do as if you must pass through this to go to your destination
Even you have secrets your husband need to know

A f**l has spoken

How the hell can someone control another human's behavior? In a Godly way for that matter? What stupid nonsense must she pass through? What stupid destination is that? Awon "women must be the one to endure marriage by force" crew I see you

See the nonsense excuse you are saying to justify the horseband's foolish life, which nonsense secret did Op tell you she has? How do you know she's keeping things from the foolish man?

So many damaged men from dysfunctional families projecting their terrible background on others, like it's a norm, they are soo many on these nl streets

Acidosis:
Did you ever meet his parents, siblings? This is one of the reasons the African culture emphasizes the role of the family. It is not enough to meet a guy and jump into his house. His parents are the real deal. You can literally see through or know your partner by spending some time with his parents/siblings. Evaluate the relationship between your spouse and his/her family. Nothing works better and faster.

Anybody can wake up any day and claim anything but it's harder for 3 or more people to play a fake script. Moving forward, I'll advise you to begin to process your separation. Do not listen to your parents. Remember Osinachi?

Really? None of the yahoo yahoo folks in Nigeria have their parents rooting and covering for them?

I don't think God failed you.. You failed yourself, for not doing proper investigation about the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. If you guys date for atleast two years and you visit him at his base,I don't think he would have been able to hide those things.. Its all your fault..

Since he is hitting you already, better plan to be independent o... So that you can take care of your child when you give birth.

Marriage no be one day something.
So its very important to do proper investigation and date for atleast two three years,before concluding.
I once dated a girl who was all good for over two and a half years.. It was during the third year that I discovered that the bastard was a pretender. Imagine I rushed into marrying her. By now maybe I for dey hell fire, all in the name of marriage.. Its well sha..

Trying praying for him to change. Its possible ,although very hard..

UptownVibes:
Marriage no be one day something.
So its very important to do proper investigation and date for atleast two three years,before concluding.
I once dated a girl who was all good for over two and a half years.. It was during the third year that I discovered that the bastard was a pretender. Imagine I rushed into marrying her. By now maybe I for dey hell fire, all in the name of marriage.. Its well sha..

Trying praying for him to change. Its possible ,although very hard..

Why didn't you pray for the bastard girl you dated to change instead?

Wetin you no fit do, you dey here dey tell another person make im do?

Kobojunkie:
Really? None of the yahoo yahoo folks in Nigeria have their parents rooting and covering for them?

It's a better (not a perfect) approach.

Klass99:


Chai, you are not nice .

As in ehn!

The op married one of them. It's a pity.

pocohantas:


I don’t know why some usernames came to mind as I read that post.

Care to share?

Why blame GOD Over your mistake? First, as an elder its wrong to hear a one-sided story and give judgement, only wicked elders does that. Secondly, i think you are not sure of your allegations against him. A drug peddler and yahno bny dn have money. Probably he is married elsewhere and spends money there and just usimg that place to hide identity OR HE MIGHT JUST BE LEARNING YAHOO TO BETTER HIS LIFE. Lastly you got married by association and must dissolve by association. Since he did marriage so you should know his people and knnw someone you cam confide in..

Advice21, I've gone through few comments and I won't condemn you especially those who say you did not seek the face of God before going into it, you are already in it and you have to be strong willed without letting the blackmail of people most especially your parents make you to continue on that marriage, try your best to leave.
That side chick might be a part of the plan to make you stay, she has her own baggage if not why will she be a sidekick to a married man even if she was deceived, what has she got to do with your going or staying, and forget the cult guys he has either you stay or leave you are damned, but you can leave and not be damned when you take the right steps.

UptownVibes:
I don't think God failed you.. You failed yourself, for not doing proper investigation about the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with. If you guys date for atleast two years and you visit him at his base,I don't think he would have been able to hide those things.. Its all your fault..

Since he is hitting you already, better plan to be independent o... So that you can take care of your child when you give birth.

Marriage no be one day something.
So its very important to do proper investigation and date for atleast two three years,before concluding.
I once dated a girl who was all good for over two and a half years.. It was during the third year that I discovered that the bastard was a pretender. Imagine I rushed into marrying her. By now maybe I for dey hell fire, all in the name of marriage.. Its well sha..

Trying praying for him to change. Its possible ,although very hard..

Those pretenders are the worst set of people, it will be doing you like film but na reality say you don engage bad person.

But that your last line, for how long will she pray and suffer for nothing, only to die praying for a druggie who never had her interest at heart.

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We young men and women are not doing the right thing,u can't meet a man in town and just accept to marry him without doing the following:

God didn't fail u my dear sister,but u and your family failed.

When it comes to marriage,the onus lies in your hand to do a findings about this guy's family,where he hails from,their family history,what he does for a living.

If u didn't do all those things forget it...u failed yourself seriously.
I met my wife in Abuja but still, I and my family had to travel to the east to do a search on my wife,her family and their background.

If u don't do these things and u found a strange character in who u just married,u are on your own.

Conversely, wife and her mum travelled to my village and did a background checks on me,my family and our history but at the end we ended up getting married.

In summary,there are things u need to do for yourself,even prayers without work can't be effective as,u can't be praying to God for jobs while u are at home lazying about.

Klass99:


She can un-marry the guy. If I were her I would have left the moment a lot of things became clear and never taken in for him.



You traumatized, kwa? You wey dey traumatize people steady on these streets with just a few words. Abeg shift!

Even me as man, there is a limit I can take to the dealings of a woman who might possibly not be able to beat me, with my experience in life, if I have tried every means of settling amicably and we are not getting to understand one another over a certain period of time, divorce is the surest way out oooo, I can't kill myself while alive just because I want to remain married.

@Advice21, if you are resident in Lagos listen to Naija info 99.3fm today at 7am to 9am, issues like yours will be discussed on that program and make do of whatever advice you get. You can even call on to table your matter and get help on how to go about the divorce process.

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Drfernandez:
It is not wise to quit marriage just because of ordinarily beating, cheating, drug peddling and yahooing that have not killed you. He is not murderer to start with, so I wonder what the fuse is all about. His actions will only make you a better Christian and strong woman.

Just listen to your wise parents because with prayer everything will be alright in due time. Don't allow any of these frustrated people here to deceive you with their wrong advice because they are only here to steal, kill and destroy.

I can see this is nothing but sarcasm, and can only hope the OP sees it as what it is which is SARCASM.

Klass99:


You listen to 99.3 fm too? That's nice, more married people (women in particular) need to listen to the Saturday show Relationship360 with Barrister Olumide.

The deceit and falsehood in this marriage is too much, how can her parents even allow her to remain there? It's either she hasn't given them the full picture or they are worried about what people will say and don't want to deal with the fallout of having a grown child move back in, with a grand child for that matter.

You and I know how some parents have selfish interests of their own, from that front page thread we read.

Yeah, I do and I don't miss it for anything ever since I stumbled on it last year, it has really shaped my mindset about relationships. Truly many people are deceived into marriage and sadly enough parents are an enabler, they just want to compete with their mates and be called grandparents. The last week woman who came to the studio got me teary at a point especially with all those miscarriages.

Your last paragraph, that is my reality, Abi how can you explain that my parents chased girls and ladies away from me that they don't want to see me with them only to be asking me for a wife now if it is not for their selfish interest in both instances, the first they have the most decent son who they can handle and the second they want to be grandparents like their mates even if I am not capable financially.

God never fails; neither does He mislead. If anything, you failed to seek His face diligently or heed His warnings before proceeding with the marriage.

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