₦airaland Forum

sirp9898:
Learn to control the reality
Control your husband behaviour to Godly way rather than feeling bad
Do as if you must pass through this to go to your destination
Even you have secrets your husband need to know

F00l.
Go to brothel and control one ashi to become your wife.

PrayerMasterKey:
Frankly speaking, virginity does not automatically mean you'll be blessed with a wonderful man or marriage.On this website, the most overused men who spend their whole lives with prostitutes are the ones swearing upandan that they must marry virgins. I guess you married one of them.

hmmm, this is just the plain truth, and most of the overused women might also end up with a good man.
This life nawao.

Acidbath:
F00l.
Go to brothel and control one ashi to become your wife.

lol

Advice21:
Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

It's never too late to make changes, don't continue with poor decisions.
Follow my lead
1, Accept your mistakes. Make up your mind it's over with the marriage with peace in your heart(the mind is powerful)
2. Stay calm and focus on your self.
3. Give birth.
4. Destroy any emotional connections with him but don't hate him, limit communications to the lowest level.
5.Get off the marriage but let him always get to be with his child if he wants.
6.Find something new, change location, start something no matter how little with an intent of improvement.

Sooner or later a better person will come.

pocohantas:
No sis, no bd.

Ngwanu, isi okpukpu ...per your personality, you'll look back in no many months and shudder at the amount of time and energy you WASTED trying to reconfigure the factory-fitted foolishness in some hoomans...
UNDERSTAND they're wired to be foolish and you CAN'T change it; it's that dense...
I'd rather you saved that prime energy for some more gainful enterprise

Sleep well

seemples:
Ngwanu, isi okpukpu ...per your personality, you'll look back in no many months and shudder at the amount of time and energy you WASTED trying to reconfigure the factory-fitted foolishness in some hoomans...
UNDERSTAND they're wired to be foolish and you CAN'T change it; it's that dense...
I'd rather you saved that prime energy for some more gainful enterprise

Sleep well

Feel free to save yours. Thank you.

pocohantas:
Feel free to save yours. Thank you.

sirp9898:
Learn to control the reality
Control your husband behaviour to Godly way rather than feeling bad
Do as if you must pass through this to go to your destination
Even you have secrets your husband need to know

What a dumb advice.

Skyview01:
What a dumb advice.

Is it not a reality to her
Should I advise her to kill herself

God did not fail you, you failed to do proper research before jumping into marriage.
You failed yourself

This is tough but there nothing God cannot do ,seek the face of God on what to do next he will guide you right he doesn't fail people that diligently seek him

heendrix:
Most people take decisions without inquiring or getting to hear from God first and when it's gets all belly up, they turn to accuse God and say He failed them. Marriage is a the first institution created by God and thus a serious one at it and not the type of thing you just jump into.

Perhaps you weren't paying attention, but the OP already said that, whilst being active in the church, she had always been praying to God to give her the right partner. So I don't think it was something she just decided to "jump into":

Advice21:
I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.

I guess by this time you would have given birth, how is the baby? I understand that feeling of not having someone to talk to, where you feel no one understands you, i get all that because i too get to that point. You see the person who can help you is God and he can gift you wisdom to get out of this unharmed if only you ask him.

Advice21:
Hello nairalanders. Sorry that this is going to be a long read but I need to be detailed enough for you all to understand.
I married a man less than a year ago after about a year and half of long distance relationship. From the inception of the relationship, I knew he was poor but I accepted him for certain reasons I thought were genuine. I never knew he was a liar, and a pretender and so good at it that I am sure he can fool even the devil. I do not understand how a person can live such double lives without anyone finding out.
I wasn't naive when I met him. I was in my early twenties, a virgin, and what would be generally termed as a homely girl.
There was so much camouflage in our relationship. I can categorically say he was too good to be true. Everybody loved him and sang his praises and when my parents got to know him, he was all they talked about. When I met him, he told me he was a livestock farmer and I believed him. He didn't have much, infact our traditional marriage was a palour affair. No white wedding, we just proceeded to court wedding because there was no money. When I got to his house, there was no chair, no TV, just a bed in a self contain. I felt bad about this things but I encouraged myself with the fact that I married the best man on earth based on the pretentious lies and the double life he was leading, until I saw truth for myself. Nothing under the sun can be hidden forever.
First of all, he wasn't the caring man I thought he was. Just after a few weeks of being together he slapped me and from there it degenerated to full blown physical abuse, but they beating is not what killed me.
By chance, I discovered that the man I thought I knew was into yahoo things and drug pedalling and infact I suspect he takes drugs too. I got to know this things by plain accident after having lived with him for a few months. I still cannot understand how he cleverly hid this part of himself from me for so long. On the outside, he seems like a gentle man, always dresses in native wears so how come? The only thing I can say that I found odd was that there were always young boys coming around the house. I asked him about it and he said he was guiding them through life based on his own experiences. The knowledge I discovered shattered me. I nearly ran mad. I think it killed my spirit in the end. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't wrap my head around it. This was a man I told about how much I detested yahoo boys while we were dating and he would join me to openly condemn them. I met a lot of them while I was in school, but I outrightly rejected them. I never believed that I would end up with not just a yahoo man, but a drug peddlar, a person who destroys the life of Young adults with drugs. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed such a calamity to befall me and my family. I married as a virgin, I never dated any married man even in times when I was so broke in school and the devil came with many temptations. I was brought up in church, my family has always lacked money but we never put our hands in any wrong thing, I was in the choir, I always prayed to God asking him never to let me marry the wrong person, I have never intentionally hurt anyone, I always seek good for other people, so why did God allow this calamity befall me.
Just yesterday, I discovered the man I call my husband is a serial cheat. He sleeps with anything, even young girls. I am pregnant now and God didn't show me any of this things about this man till I got pregnant. Why did God allow me to get pregnant when there are several women out there who are in stable marriages praying earnestly for a child.
I want to leave this marriage because the pain, the pain is too much. I am dying emotionally. I am a corper and would be passing out in two weeks time.
My parents cannot help me. Everybody says I should pray, I shouldn't leave. One of his numerous side chick, the one who opened up to me is begging me to stay because she says he is threatening her life if I should leave. He has a cult like following of young boys who are loyal to him and I fear for the poor girls life.
Please what do I do, where do I go. I didn't even tell half of the hell I have seen because I can't type everything. I have no money because I basically take care of myself with my allawees because he has no money despite selling drugs and all the evil he does. I didn't write this for money sake because a lot of people would think that's my reason. I am just pained. My heart is heavy, I feel God has failed me. How do I even begin to piece my life together with a pregnancy of seven months. Where do I go when I leave here, how do I manage. How did such evil befall me. I am all alone, saddled with a child, helpless but most importantly pained. The emotional pain is the greatest of all my woes, not even the physical pains comes close. I just wanted to let it out because I have no one else to talk to.

i hope you aborted the pregnancy and moved on with your life. God does not exist.