₦airaland Forum

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

You jumped too fast. You shouldn't have confronted any of them till you have enough evidence to rove that they are cheating. For now, you can't prove anything.
Just relax and let things play out,OK. Watch both of them from a distance with confrontation.

Finally, you may be wrong about them cheating. Just look out for evidence,OK.

Why will u marry and live your wife in Nigeria? If your wife wears wig, eye lashes, Mary Kay, etc she has the spirit of Jezebel and it means she doesn’t have the Holy Ghost! This means she can cheat on you with no conscience! If u have no concrete evidence it means your you might only get evidence in heaven or hell when u die! Women are the best when it comes to cheating! May God help u! Even if you get evidence u cannot divorce her if u want to make heaven! Only death can separate marriage! Forgive her and move on!

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

You jumped too fast. You shouldn't have confronted any of them till you have enough evidence to rove that they are cheating. For now, you can't prove anything.
Just relax and let things play out,OK. Watch both of them from a distance with confrontation.
Finally, you may be wrong about them cheating. Just look out for evidence,OK.

nduchucks:
Oga, take your wife with you abroad if that is where you reside.

A real man will not expose his wife to avoidable temptations.

As you make your bed, so you shall lie in it. The issue is more of your actions than hers.

I can't blame her to be honest.

Woman must fuccckkk.
Especially one that already knows what it feels like.

If the husband is not around in the same time zone, that opens her to serious temptation.

Even if she does not bang his friend, she would find one gentle, coded and reserved guy in her office or neighbourhood that is very nice to her, and she will fuccckkk the living daylight out of him.

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

Put mangun for your wife body na

I stopped reading at 'I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria'.

Guy, na mumu dey marry.

Na double mumu go do cross country marriage.

Unless you are marrying an ultra Conservative Muslim who was a virgin at time of marriage and lives with your family in Nigeria

Or you married a zero libido woman

Or you married a woman who has been a victim of genital mutilation

Or a woman who is a closet lesbian,

Unless your "wife" fits into any of the situation above, then you are being dull to marry, live abroad and expect faithfulness in Nigeria.

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

Oga your wife is Public Property..

She is too cheap to be called your wife..

Man listen.he who alleged most prove.No tangible evidence case dismissed

Calm your pressure down, act like a fool to get what you want. Get a laptop, and hack your wife's WhatsApp number. Then never touch her phone again, you can be seeing all what she is doing on your laptop, if possible, put hidden camera on your room and maybe travel for the next one week. You must get further information, if actually she is cheating on you

Dey are nacking She isn’t lacking money according to you. Any man who talks to his friends wife apart from hello hello how my friend how the kids etc and for the fact he sent her money and didn’t tell you
Guy you suppose know what’s up na....na so my ex one very stupid bitch Dat time ‘ my guy at the time collect her number begin dey toast am she no tell me until months later after hinting and Hintin ‘ dem no lash ‘ I cut the guy off cut the bitch off too

virginprincess:
So because your friend gave your wife money you just concluded that she is cheating on you without any concrete evidence ,nawa for some men sha,anyway,what i see there is that you never trusted your wife from the onset if not why would you just conclude that she's cheating on you .

Virgin Princess indeed.....

Make una dey think before una dey talk. Trust is a strong word and it's earned over time..... How can you trust a wife that collects money from your friend without the wife informing the husband? That's crazy. Such wife should never be trusted.

She shouldn't collect money from her husband's friend without the knowledge of the husband. That's betrayal of trust.

Why are women like this? Most of them are just disgraceful

Richy4:
<< Trust is really dead in this weird world..
***Does it mean that this can never be a possible scenario any more in this weird world?**

<< John my friend stays in France, the wife Sandra stays in Nigeria...
<<On a good day, out of my kind and benevolent heart, gave Sandra 30K to buy icecream for the kids and herself.. thinking I was looking out for the interest of my friends John..
<<John came back to Nigeria, saw the alert on the wife's phone and began to "Meleske"
<< My goodness, suddenly turned into betrayal, adultery and infidelity
<< Na waaaOo!!

Did you tell your friend you sent his wife money?

Possible

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

How was your wife towards you before you left. Was she firm woman to right behaviour , can she keep her self even when you didn't touch her for days or month, dies is she somebody that can easily feel lonely when her man is not around her , a woman with character would consider the union to immediate pleasure , I think that friend should go very far from the woman and should pray for your wife as well , are you sure if she comes over it's not another threat then

You already have enough evidence that your friend has been fhuckin your wife, it's a shame on you that you still have her an inch close to you, damn I wonder if I can get married. Well I already have a solution to legal reproduction of my offsprings without any legal commitment to any woman.

Baronthecelebri:
. Divorce your wife, your friend is sleeping with your wife

Are you the friend? The way you want this divorce get as e be.

Thank God you have somebody helping you to work in your farm

Oga any distant relationship that involves a partner staying abroad anything is obtainable not just possible.

Sorry to hear that though marriage is beautiful with the right person.

My attack on the guy is that he is not even married but talking rubbish, I suspect his gay.

Guy, stay safe and take care of your self oh

echomanji:
he has a point tho, i'm regretin mine

crackhaus:
You're not the only one, and I don't believe the "act" of giving was the real issue here.

Such information is not something the wife should have withheld or forgotten just like that.
The friend may not owe it to him to inform him, but his wife does.

They both owe it to him. His friend has no right to send money to his wife without his consent. There’re boundaries you don’t cross especially with marriage, otherwise complete transparency should suffice.

Richy4:
<<U are making me the devil's advocate and it's not nice

<<When there are trust issues in a relationship, even if u like, explain how heaven was made with good evidence, someone who doesn't trust you will never trust you..

<< I believe that Sandra gave an explanation on how the Icecream money came about but due to trust issues, John wasn't buying what she was selling to him...and Sandra knowing the kind of man she married cannot kill herself just because the John refused to believe her because of his difficulties in trusting...

If there's no trust in a relationship, it's as good as dead... Some people naturally have trust issues and it's the worst set of people any sane individual can encounter because they will drive the person insane..

Sometimes though I ask myself, is online world different from offline world? Because I know lots of people who can help friends genuinely... If they get here online, do they act differently? It seems I am the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with giving loosed change to a friend's family whom Everyone knows traveled out.. it's weird

Exactly, osama2478 sounds very very suspicious. For my husband to suspect me to that level is very very bad. Imagine ordering your wife to pickup her call while you're on a call with her.

Snooping through her phone and even credit alerts. If his wife puts a password on her phone, that will be enough evidence to divorce her . He must have checked her chats and even social media and the only thing he found was that alert.

I think the lady and his friend got closer after he left but due to his attitude, she didn't tell him such information make the marriage no scatter. I know many women like that, they even have to hide their dream from their husbands that reads meaning into everything even the kind of dream they have.

Chances of her cheating is 20%, chances of osama2478 being paranoid is 80%.

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

severing ties is the best you can do for now since you didn't catch them red handed (though there a flags) . Infidelity in marriage is a high risk one must take especially if one spouse stays far away, you know boredom sets in. I'll advise you to try all means to bring your wife over to you. Things will get better

Your wife get first class for spreading her legs to friendly gbola.

Summa cum laude awarded unopposed

BloomingDale:
Are you the friend? The way you want this divorce get as e be.

Isn’t he better off with the divorce? Is that woman worth a dime and nickel? Remorseless, and lacking integrity. What is the marriage worth when he can’t even trust her? Dude will walk on egg shells and can’t sleep with both eyes closed. Is that a way to live?

Whenever your instincts tells you something is going on, it's already on. Your friend has fuccked her sadly but it's up to you to decide what to do about it. You're married to a heartless women so be careful because they both may plan your death. If you don't have a child with her yet, take a walk. As for taking her to Europe with you, kill that idea immediately because that will be your worst move.

Marriages these days are shit. I’m saying this as someone who understands what married people face. Most people I know are already miserable in their homes and just hanging on for whatever reason. If you’re single please take your time and be sure this is what you really want. The euphoria wears off after a month and the reality smacks you hard in the face.

You have a good point. But what the poster is saying is why hiding such sensitive information. This is a trust issue here. As a wife, you are not only responsible to yourself alone but you are also responsible to your hubby same goes with your hubby. If she has nothing hiding, why not divulging the financial assistance your spouse friend rendered to you. Cheating might not be the issue here but married people should know that he that will come to equity must do so with a clean hand.

Richy4:
<< I understand perfectly what you wrote previously man...I would have stayed away if I didn't get it...
<<The reason why u brought up the issue is for us to look at it and air our opinion right? .. and it will be really funny and foolhardy if we all follow a certain pattern or a parallel line without looking at possible scenarios or "what if(s)"

<< Now, why did you call that individual a friend?..on the scale of 1% - 100%, what percentage would u rate him before you traveled?.. Is it all male individuals u introduce to your spouse as friends?

***NOW LET'S LOOK AT THIS SCENARIO***
<<You were married... Probably talks to your wife all the times from courtship to marriage..
<<Suddenly, u traveled..she misses you..
<<She had no one to talk to physically except u on the phone or videos which u and I knows it's different...
<<She ran into your friend and they starts talking... some women being whom they are jokingly accused him of not calling since you left,..he promised to call on her once in a while to see how she was doing..
<< He fulfilled the promises and called..Nigerian network being what it is, she was not reachable..
<< He tried the following day and told her he has been calling but her number was not going through... She now decided to give out her personal or private number just incase..
<< Due to the fact she has no one to talk to for a long time, she talked and forgot herself and overshared sensitive information..

Do you think this can be a possible scenario? Do you think something like this can never happen? Just be sincere.. remember u have no evidence that your wife was cheating.. if not, u would have presented it...

maybe u should have made a proper investigation before leaving the shores of Nigeria.. it would have helped your sanity because what u are accusing her of doesn't hold water in my opinion..

The bigger problem is with the one u share a vow with. Even if you kill your friend, will you kill every other man that will appeal to her the way your friend appeals to her(that's if they are actually up to something). Stop over-rating friendship with a male friend, your most loyal friend should be your partner, your partner should be your Gee....if this isn't the case, I don't know what to say

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

if u get sense divorce am

You don't need a prophet to tell you that something serious is going on btw them... Don't be fooled. I can't just understand what women want.

This is a case of one giving fish to rat to keep. I only suggest you take your wife with you for as far as she's here,oga you parked your car in another man's garage