₦airaland Forum

Domestic violence: Some women deserve what they get because they refuse to leave abusive marriages - BBNaija Tega Dominic says

Funny enuf, those type of gals are the ones that gets approached by a genuine loving guy, but because he doing use the lastest iPhone, wear the latest cloths, drive the latest Benz or shut down the latest clubs, automatically he’s not your type.
I find it funny and appealing same time when I see gals like that getting maltreated by dos guys that has all this “latest” stuff.
Women, they never learn.

marlow1962:
Funny enuf, those type of gals are the ones that gets approached by a genuine loving guy, but because he doing use the lastest iPhone, wear the latest cloths, drive the latest Benz or shut down the latest clubs, automatically he’s not your type.
I find it funny and appealing same time when I see gals like that getting maltreated by dos guys that has all this “latest” stuff.
Women, they never learn.

What are you even saying?

LadyD22:
What are you even saying?

Nothing miss.

Dodgelord
Domestic violence is an issue that has claimed the lives of many women , and few men , to the onlookers it's easy to just say "get up and leave" , just as easy as it is to scream to victims of sexual assault to "speak up and get justice" but you can only fully understand how difficult it is to actually leave , when you're in the same position as them.

Many times the abuse is worse when the victim attempts to escape, and most of victims who lost their lives in the process were murdered after threats of separation or divorce got to the ears of the abusers
A victim might choose to stay because they feel they are in control of the situation if they cooperate with their abusers , to minimize damages , it's the same thing with rape , you struggle less and cooperate in hopes to remain in control of the situation and convince your attacker to at least let you live

Often times the abuser, doesn't just abuse but they attach threats to each blow
" if you leave I will kill you , I will kill your parents , your dog , our child, I'll kill myself " and sometimes these threats are not as empty as they sound , they push through with it or attempt to

the abusers will groom you slowly and gradually , testing and crossing your boundaries , strip you of the means to provide for your own financial needs so that you remain dependent ,then isolate you from friends and family such that in the end you feel you have nowhere to go , mental captivity , you can see the door open but you still won't leave because you doubt anyone can protect you and most times noone can , they just claim to

The police think it's just lovers dispute
Counselors , pastors and relatives will try to help you" fix it "if you're married , instead of detaching you completely
Only the victims know the extent their abusers can go to remain in control and sometimes speaking about it to someone is equally dangerous unless you are 150% certain that they will maintain confidentiality and ensure a successful escape and protection

Some abusers are skilled manipulators , they will shower you with romantic gestures in their non violent phase( petting) , so it's very common to hear the victim vouche for them

" they're very good , I made them angry , but they really love me, I swear"

Or they blame it on something else, "it only happens when he gets angry or takes alcohol , he wouldn't do that on a normal day "

To other people , it is absurd and then they start to judge them that "if they wanted to leave they would ", I used to be close minded about the subject too until I found out how deep it really is

They lose their self esteem and eventually believe that they deserve whatever treatment , they may be getting and the abuser convinces them over and over again , that they would change and sometimes guilt trip them and brainwash them to think that the abuser are the victims and they should be pitied
^{looking depressed} everybody has left me , I know you want to leave me too, you're the only one I love , can't you see that I'm not doing this because I want to , I thought you said you won't leave me ?

Harmful assumptions won't help , telling someone to leave just like that , is like telling a headache to stop without medication , ineffective,
If your loved ones find themselves in a situation like that, you would understand better

LadyD22:
Dodgelord
Domestic violence is an issue that has claimed the lives of many women , and few men , to the onlookers it's easy to just say "get up and leave" , just as easy as it is to scream to victims of sexual assault to "speak up and get justice" but you can only fully understand how difficult it is to actually leave , when you're in the same position as them.

Many times the abuse is worse when the victim attempts to escape, and most of victims who lost their lives in the process were murdered after threats of separation or divorce got to the ears of the abusers
A victim might choose to stay because they feel they are in control of the situation if they cooperate with their abusers , to minimize damages , it's the same thing with rape , you struggle less and cooperate in hopes to remain in control of the situation and convince your attacker to at least let you live

Often times the abuser, doesn't just abuse but they attach threats to each blow
" if you leave I will kill you , I will kill your parents , your dog , our child, I'll kill myself " and sometimes these threats are not as empty as they sound , they push through with it or attempt to

the abusers will groom you slowly and gradually , testing and crossing your boundaries , strip you of the means to provide for your own financial needs so that you remain dependent ,then isolate you from friends and family such that in the end you feel you have nowhere to go , mental captivity , you can see the door open but you still won't leave because you doubt anyone can protect you and most times noone can , they just claim to

The police think it's just lovers dispute
Counselors , pastors and relatives will try to help you" fix it "if you're married , instead of detaching you completely
Only the victims know the extent their abusers can go to remain in control and sometimes speaking about it to someone is equally dangerous unless you are 150% certain that they will maintain confidentiality and ensure a successful escape and protection

Some abusers are skilled manipulators , they will shower you with romantic gestures in their non violent phase( petting) , so it's very common to hear the victim vouche for them

" they're very good , I made them angry , but they really love me, I swear"

Or they blame it on something else, "it only happens when he gets angry or takes alcohol , he wouldn't do that on a normal day "

To other people , it is absurd and then they start to judge them that "if they wanted to leave they would ", I used to be close minded about the subject too until I found out how deep it really is

They lose their self esteem and eventually believe that they deserve whatever treatment , they may be getting and the abuser convinces them over and over again , that they would change and sometimes guilt trip them and brainwash them to think that the abuser are the victims and they should be pitied
^{looking depressed} everybody has left me , I know you want to leave me too, you're the only one I love , can't you see that I'm not doing this because I want to , I thought you said you won't leave me ?

Harmful assumptions won't help , telling someone to leave just like that , is like telling a headache to stop without medication , ineffective,
If your loved ones find themselves in a situation like that, you would understand better

I'd rather read the whole of Psalms 191 (longest chapter in the Bible) with the time I'd have used to read this long rant of yours

NewSoul:
I'd rather read the whole of Psalms 191 (longest chapter in the Bible) with the time I'd have used to read this long rant of yours

ok sir

dodgelord:
ok sir

Not you