₦airaland Forum

What about Japa? Is it a lonely place

This thread reminds me of advice I gave my sister when she joined me in UK. "Sis", I said, "people might tell you all sorts of things about this country and its people, but please use your own senses to check for yourself".

A few months after arriving, she complained to me that people here are too friendly. "Ordinary standing at the bus stop, they want to say hello to you".

I laughed and said, "I bet your Nigerian friends have told you people are not friendly here. I am glad you have checked for yourself".

I would give you all the same advice and ask you to check for yourself instead of taking anyone's word for anything here. It might be that I myself am the ass so no one wants to befriend me such that I would definitely be dying of self inflicted boredom and loneliness and eventually dying in my house with no one caring about my useless selfish uncaring ass.

I'm certain that if you cared about your neighbour's, your neighbour's would care about you.

jesmond3945:
To avoid this argument, just live and work in the north of england, north of france or belgium especially or in scandinavian countries like finland or norway or eastern europe like lithuania, bulgaria, europe. Not visit but live, study and work there.
This might not happen in all of europe and america.
Visiting a place and living there are 2 different experiences entirely.

Is my stated 'live where I've lived' not sufficient enough for you?

Has the op even stated he has lived in the West? If he had I'm certain this thread would be about how Nigerian Abroad him is "Dying Of Lonliness And Depression", instead of him asking "Is it really boring there", which kind of implies he is not there dying of boredom and loneliness himself.

But please, do take his word for it if that is what you prefer to believe.

budaatum:
Is my stated 'live where I've lived' not sufficient enough for you?

Has the op even stated he has lived in the West? If he had I'm certain this thread would be about how Nigerian Abroad him is "Dying Of Lonliness And Depression", instead of him asking "Is it really boring there", which kind of implies he is not there dying of boredom and loneliness himself.

But please, do take his word for it if that is what you prefer to believe.

he mentioned some items which are fact in some places. Somebody in this thread said if you chat up africans you might not die of boredom which is true. Africans can make you feel at home. However, some nationalities can while others cannot. For example indians are a bit cold but once they know you, they can even invite to their homes. English people take time to know you, however they are very polite and friendly but call them on phone or invite them for an outing they would not come. Is not hate they just take time to know someone. The worse are the eastern europeans you can never tell what is their mind. However, not all of them. It is a complex situation. If you are enjoying oyibo friendship well and good not everyone is doing same. Oyibo would only do small talk at the bus stop but let your sister greet that same person tommorow the person would just ignore her.

jesmond3945:
he mentioned some items which are fact in some places. Somebody in this thread said if you chat up africans you might not die of boredom which is true. Africans can make you feel at home. However, some nationalities can while others cannot. For example indians are a bit cold but once they know you, they can even invite to their homes. English people take time to know you, however they are very polite and friendly but call them on phone or invite them for an outing they would not come. Is not hate they just take time to know someone. The worse are the eastern europeans you can never tell what is their mind. However, not all of them. It is a complex situation. If you are enjoying oyibo friendship well and good not everyone is doing same. Oyibo would only do small talk at the bus stop but let your sister greet that same person tommorow the person would just ignore her.

What is a fact or not depends on the individual, and if that individual is an ass, they are bound to get negative ass reactions wherever they may be.

You try it. Before you leave your house tomorrow, say, "Goodness and mercy, follow me wherever I may go". And if you decide to pack some goodness and mercy to spread around where you go, don't be surprised that everyone you meet gives you goodness and mercy back. But if you pack unfriendliness to spread around, know you will surely reap what you sow.

budaatum:
Please tell us if you "Seems To Be Dying Of Lonliness And Depression" abroad.

Maybe they will believe you better.

No, quite the opposite actually. I am so used to my quiet life that it is hard for me to accommodate anyone in my space unless it's a loved one. Even when my kids go to school, I have so much joy LOL. I am too busy with work to even have the time to be depressed. It does get lonely sometimes since my divorce but we have a lot of DIY tools that really help I don't know about men sha o

SergeantTitus:
Is it really boring there?

Do you go weeks without talking to anybody?

Is it true that white man no send anybody papa. Everybody dey mind him own business?

I heard seeing a woman/man to be in a relationship with na rocket science.

Is it true that someone you talked to this morning and conversed well might pretend he doesn't know you when he sees you in the evening.

You and your next door neighbor might not talk for weeks ?

I was told they put up fake smiles there alot.

Is it true that there are countless tales of people dying in their homes for several weeks and nobody will even know.

You miss Nigeria and the lagos vibe once in a while don't you? Sometimes you just wish you could return back.

I talk to my coworkers/supervisors everyday
I have friends I talk to everyday even tho we don't cee everyday

White man no send ur papa..that's true.. its not about racism or anything...everybody just dey mind him own buisness


Relationship abroad is more of a fun game... like you are playing PlayStation 5... it's not a real thing like Nija own... when you meet a white woman... he go tell you.. oga.. when I'm tired I'm leaving you.. that time fit be just 2weeks dating

It's all part of minding business... we don't hav a neighbourhood Relationship abroad unlike Nigeria where u mingle with ur street people... if they ignore you for street.. dem no dey fight u... it just means..no time for gisiting

I don't even know my neighbour names... just only one Asian wey we dey always jam for Grocery store.. so normal I don follow ham talk and ask about her name... others, I don't know

Yes...fake smile just to make sure you don't feel bad when they ignore you.. like I said.. dey don't hate you.. dey just don't hav time for funny Relationship


Yea, some die at home alone... probably sick and no one to take care of them...

Yes, but the daily insecurities news they always change the vibes of visiting...even tho lagos safe! Still I'm npt ready to visit

I was looking for this post, then someone liked mine and I found it.

Abini2012:
Interesting thing happened..
A lady from the tour group behind me offered us a free ticket into the castle �. Initially, when she showed us the ticket and was talking plenty, we just said no, then she said instead of buying two tickets, you just buy one and you don't have to pay for this, it's free. Na dey I jump hug her and all of them laughed. Apparently, one of them didn't show up in time for the visit, so she saved us £19

opeyy:
No, quite the opposite actually. I am so used to my quiet life that it is hard for me to accommodate anyone in my space unless it's a loved one. Even when my kids go to school, I have so much joy LOL. I am too busy with work to even have the time to be depressed. It does get lonely sometimes since my divorce but we have a lot of DIY tools that really help I don't know about men sha o

Gisos