₦airaland Forum

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Your family seems like a troublesome one, the guy sent money to buy clothes, and you still expect him to thank your family for going to buy the clothes you would also wear? Seems you're not ready for marriage smh

DukeNija:
Utter gibberish! I kept seeing my aunt, my mom, my dad, my neighbor Jesus Christ! Are they all in this relationship with you?
He made the right decision to walk away because it’s obvious he’ll have to deal with more than an indecisive and emotionally dependent wife. Aunt wants him to thank her for taking you, her own niece to the market to buy wedding items? Really? You should thank your aunt not him!
I congratulate the young man for saving himself from an entitled and overly intrusive family.

@Gabless come and read this And receive some Sense. Because as it is now sense is very far from you and you're extremely immature for marriage.

Entitlement mentality dey worry you and your family. So the young man shouldn't act and pour out his opinion because he is getting married to you or what?

I salute that young man for calling off the marriage asap. Your family was looking for who to emotionally tie down and manipulate. The guy Dodge a bullet

Joe4real1988:
Na them dey rush u? The rush u see there could be guys doing everything to have u(have sex with u and dump u). Abeg nor let rushing u becloud your sense of reasoning o.

Funny, this your line is for irresponsible people not the correct ones.

Dear,

Your maturity is over the roof. I guess you are married already.


Thank you for this.

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

According to your story, if am your boyfriend i will run, most guys talking trash here will still ruuuunnnnn!!!!

I can't marry from a dramatic family like yours neither will i marry a woman that put other people first even if it's her family.

You have to really work on your character if you want to keep a man.

Do you know the place of women in the Bible?

faithfull18:
So, I am reading comments here from men saying they are doing a woman a favour marrying her and I laugh.

The comments are long and I really don't want to quote anybody.

Ladies, a man should go all out for you, even the men in the Bible did. Little details matter. @OP, but for the distance, I wish you guys were in the same Physical location maybe it could have turned out differently. What would it have cost him to apologise? Does it make him less manly. I doubt the guy was fully committed to marrying you. Guys want good marriages as well as ladies. Nobody is doing anybody a favour marrying anybody if you are a quality person.

As a lady, na them go dey rush you, they just may not be the type of people you want to be in a livelong relationship with due to career, lifestyle, convictions, age, location and a host of other reasons. That's where these men get it wrong, men aren't scarce as they paint it here.

Good, quality, responsible, disciplined and truly godly men are the hard to find ones.

tunwumi:
Do you know the place of women in the Bible?

And what's the place of women in the Bible??

It's not compulsory that he thanks your Aunt,she is your Aunt and she can assist in anyway from her free mind.The Guy is taking things too far,both of you have faults and it's better you separate.Not compatible enough to agree on certain things.

I thank God for the guy that missed this time bomb. Your family are about to turn him to a robot.

Let me ask a sincere question, if you elder brother is treated the way your family is dragging him will you have good will you have kind description of the family?


He also have family and you are mum's appron string.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

I won't jump into conclusion, till i hear from the other party..

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

That guy is very innocent. He saw doom and simply accepted what you and your people are already craving for..to quit the wedding.
Those part where you wrote *your mum has some reservation about him* * he argue* he didnt even apologise* * his mum didnt persuade.
All these speak volume...please leave that innocent young man if you dont love him

Everybody ending their post with " pls don't insult me" that alone speaks volume on the kind of people we have on nairaland.


Well I think the wedding should be on hold, till things are settled.

gabemuyi:
All I see is parental irresponsibility. U said Ur dad had no objection about family introduction. Most lackadaisical father's have their daughters in an abusive marriage. Look Ur father should have had a date with him, know the type of person he is. Before Agreeing to even see his parents A comprehensive family meeting should be carried out by Ur father. Just thank Ur star u escaped this one . U for understand.

I was waiting for someone to say this. It might be part of the problem, they would have known who exactly he is before going ahead to fix date.

I have a problem with people who lack tact, Op's ex is definitely one of them. Not a good sign at all.


The first day I took my husband to see my father, my husband did Lagos idobale i.e prostrated half way, popsie said hian, o ma do bale tan ni( you will prostrate fully) he did the full prostration.

One of my very eldest cousins met my husband on the day of our wedding, we had already finished the ceremony and were in the rooms in the guest house preparing to leave for Lagos when he came around, he said he wouldn't miss my wedding, he wanted to greet him and my husband genuflected slightly, he was like eh, you are taking my baby cousin you will prostrate ni oo.

Though he was about 20years older than my hubby anyway but it didn't really matter. Everybody laughed and he prostrated. They haven't even seen each other since our wedding.


It's not even about this incident, that guy is not it at all, you want to marry and you are already having issues with your wife's people over irrelevant things, a bad sign very bad one. Everybody is talking about the Aunty incident which is even the most irrelevant one
here ( although I don't understand why your Aunty and hubby will be discussing money matters) nobody mentioned where she said her Dad and mum complained he was rude to them.



The lady is always the prize, the gentle man is to go all out for his lady.

NoToPile:
I was waiting for someone to say this. It might be part of the problem, they would have known who exactly he is before going ahead to fix date.

I have a problem with people who lack tact, Op's ex is definitely one of them. Not a good sign at all.


The first day I took my husband to see my father, my husband did Lagos idobale i.e prostrated half way, popsie said hian, o ma do bale tan ni( you will prostrate fully) he did the full prostration.

One of my very eldest cousins met my husband on the day of our wedding, we had already finished the ceremony and were in the rooms in the guest house preparing to leave for Lagos when he came around, he said he wouldn't miss my wedding, he wanted to greet him and my husband genuflected slightly, he was like eh, you are taking my baby cousin you will prostrate ni oo.

Though he was about 20years older than my hubby anyway but it didn't really matter. Everybody laughed and he prostrated. They haven't even seen each other since our wedding.


It's not even about this incident, that guy is not it at all, you want to marry and you are already having issues with your wife's people over irrelevant things, a bad sign very bad one.


The lady is always the prize, the gentle man is to go all out for his lady.

The bolded would only be true if the lady was a virgin.

I can only say a word when I see the two side of a coin
He can’t just wake up and start and misbehaving, there must be a reason for that, There are untold stories

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

I have little to say here bro, and it goes thus;

May you live long in life with sound health,Amen.

May your children children never meet this kind of op of a Lady in life as a wife Amen.

May God continue to uphold whatever you lay your hands on Amen.

You are such a reasonable and sensible Adults who is full of wisdom ,knowledge understanding and experience just like King David.

Bro you spoke my mind as I was in similar situations before and I have to let go of her for my peace of mind.

Your the cause what do you mean by his arguing with with your Aunty maybe you people want to ripe him and the young man was on guard and you tag it insult. Again how could you open your mouth and said the preparation should be on hold? So if the young marry you any small thing you will treating him will divorce Sister your the cause go fix your self.

After carefully reading Op found out its a case of mind games and guyman strong pass all of them combined.. When u don't know what u want u tend to listen to every animal that can utter wtv gibberish they can and then it gets into ur small head. Your aunt is manipulating ur stupid ass and ur gullible family is falling in line. Wait till another guy comes and make him ass kiss ur family tree. The guy did the right thing. I hate people with no minds of theirs. Anyone with an opinion can sway thier decisions. Op go learn the hard way.

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

Its okay to be downcast but a ruined engagement is better than a divorce.

Move on sis, dont beg anyone dear, move on

EagleNest:
Regardless of whether they all accepted him or not, it is immature to go into stupid argument with your would be inlaws unless they are out to milk you or they are simply useless. But in this case, I think he just failed the very basics, of playing and paying courtesies. You have just spoken with your lady on phone, and on finding out that her aunty was with her, may be a little hello and thanks for helping xyz with shopping today will not do you harm but endear you more to the family - regardless of whether you mean it or not. Play the politics for Christ sake. You are a stranger and you should know that every of your moves or behaviour is monitored and read. Going there and dey show yourself with crass rudeness is recipe for failure. I cannot fault the lady because the bobo failed the basics.

Spot on

Kobojunkie:
Something out of the ordinary caused a person to behave rudely to his partner's relatives and have no intentions of apologizing for his behavior.

So, every time a person misbehaves, it is village people to blame abi wetin?

How did you draw this conclusion??
It’s glaring the lady is holding some vital information. Be careful of judging one sided information. All I deduce from the OP, is entitlement. Why is your Aunty so expecting a thank you from your supposed husband to be? Does she want a thank you in cash cuz she perceive he’s rich?? What’s your dad stand in all of this cuz I believe men are more rational in such critical situations. You’re 28, you know now your age reacts to marriage yet this simple excuse is why she asked her man for space. Where you thinking he’d beg you ?? Lots of things don’t line up. Well, no matter what we tell you, your conscience will later tell you how you messed a wonderful journey you never started.

When you met him,
Your aunt wasn’t there , you guys shared golden moments together till he decided
To walk down that aisle even sent Money for some preparation. But your Aunty feels he needs to thank her specially, she’s doing well.

I wish you well, keep the good work on and make sure your next husband husband thanks your aunt well enough before marriage
Love and light

Sorry dear. The wasted time,money,emotions,effort etc. I am sorry about everything.
Can you spare the time to have a sit down with him and thoroughly talk things over.
Dont act like you are forcing yourself on him. Its just a sit down to talk before throwing out the bathwather with the baby.
Dont take everything you read here to heart, you are the one wearing the shoes and know where it pains.
If he insists on not going on with the marriage,then just understand it wasnt meant to be. Focus on building youself and preparing yourself for the next man.
All the best for the future

Candidlady:



You rang him back after two weeks for two weeks... good two weeks he didn't call. His mum didn't call.. His siblings didn't call


You had to ring him.. so if he had agreed on pushing through with the wedding you would have said yes


Iswear dawadawa expensive pass you (pissed)


You should be jubilating... get heaven dust, four cans of budweiser, a pack of dunhil and if you can afford captain Morgan... make yourself happy.. heaven just saved/liberated you from a curse

Can you imagine what you wrote? I expect you to better put: She should have known that she and her family have wrong the guy so bad as such the guy parents couldn't have called. Hence it indicate she's not a wife materials and not ripped for marriage.

Your Mom might the person pulling strings in all these. From your write up the guy has no problem at all. How can your aunt be expecting another person to thank Her for doing a favor for Her own niece. Your Dad probably went along with your Mom on the guy being rude, how can you threathen to end a wedding because of external issues. Your aunt said and your mom said, and you rush to end wedding. The same aunt and mom will still insult you if you do not marry early

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

just Have a simple question.


WHAT HAS YOUR FAMILY CONTRIBUTED TOWARDS THE WEDDING AND ENGAGEMENT?


Because I have seen where Bride family but all responsibilities on a struggling guy

ahnie:
Ekwueme!Ekwueme!!
You're the living God oh
Eze no one like you.


That wasn't just a song,there lies the answers you seek.

A quick reminder as a brain teaser,that song up there was sang by osinachi.

You be werey i swear .... Lmfaooooooo

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

So much on point bro.

Ishilove:
O ga o. Your in-laws are very tolerant. Someone like my mum would have canceled you immediately

And also marry you immediately

oldienavie:
The bolded would only be true if the lady was a virgin.

Loool, even if the lady is not a virgin it's still applicable. He is always to go all out for the lady.

GboyegaD:
You are the one I should ask if you are ready for marriage. I wonder how you allowed people get into your head. You said he argued with your aunt, and you were pained. Should he keep quiet if he's not okay with whatever the cause of the argument was because he wants a marriage?

I don't even understand how your aunt was pissed that he didn't call to thank her for taking you to the market to buy the engagement clothes. Was he the one who suggested you approach your aunt to help you? If he is not, then he doesn't owe her that obligation. If he chooses to say thank you, so be it and if he doesn't, no big deal.

Lastly, your parent's (mom in particular) reservation indirectly beclouded your thought and you suggesting you put the wedding on hold gave him the opportunity to think through the entire thing. Perhaps, you guys were going on a fast lane and that statement made him think and also, have conversation with his folks who might have felt with this much troubles from external influences before the wedding, he should just save his head.

Like the Yorubas will say, "Oju to ma ba ni kale, kin ti a ti owuro se pin" implying, whatever would last long doesn't stress you from inception. You both are lucky in your ways and you both should see it as each party is right with his/her decision.

I just needed to add this, in your next relationship (whether he comes back or a new relationship), remember you both are the prize and treat each other that way. If he doesn't treat you like a prize or you can't treat him as one, please, be quick to move. Don't be carried away by the people of the world who have no place in your home. Imagine some telling you to do thanksgiving when you were the one who put the wedding on hold should tell you they are like dance instructors who teaches you to dance but will never borrow you their legs to do the dance.

To those quoting me, did you notice the guy's mum didn't bother pacifying her family? Doesn't that speaks volume?

Matured advise, i love it..

Gabless:
I am 28 years old, a graduate of one of the university in South West. I work as a contract staff in a bank.

I met this guy about a year ago through my best female friend, and the journey started. I took him to my parents and he also took me to his parents too, and the wedding preparation started.

We were suppose to do family introduction but my parents says there is no need considering some logistic reasons. Although my mum has her reservation concerning him. But since my father has no objection I think am good to go.

He has sent money for some preparation since he is not residing in Lagos. The problem started after I went to idumota with my aunt to buy our engagement clothes. It was my aunt that drove me to the market. When we returned, my fiance called me, we talked for some times, but he couldn't appreciate my aunt for her kind gesture. Although my aunt didn't say anything that day but she wasn't happy. My dad also complained that he has been rude to him. The same goes with my mum.

The last straw that broke the Carmels back was when he was arguing with my aunt over the phone. He did not know I was in my aunt's house that particular day. I wasn't happy at all, thinking that if he would not regard my parents how would he treat me after marriage.

So I confronted him the second day over the phone, telling him that I'm not happy about the way my parents where complaining about him, and that attitude of him is creating fear in me. Instead for him to be a little remoseful and even call those people and apologize, he was arguing with me, still in my aunt's house.

So I told him, maybe we should put the preparation on hold thinking he would at least try and apologize to them. He just said, is that what you want and ended the call.

Everyone was surprised. He didn't call back it was his mum that called my mum, she didn't even persuade them to stop me from taking such step, and the guy too didn't call me for like too weeks until when I called him and he said he wasn't interested in the marriage again.

Actually, I wasn't happy and I have been downcasted since then, but on the other hand, May l ask this question does this guy really loves me?. Is he really mature enough for marriage. Is it all my fault? Please don't insult or abuse me. I just want to know if it's all my fault.

The GUY is a Obedient student of NAIRALAND
He really attended all the Lectures!
Just checked his attendance & realised he never missed lectures on Nairaland 4 one day
My dear, you also dodged a Bullet too.
MARRIAGE is not as necessary as it were.
Better spend time on other meaningful things.
The stress is not worth it.
Enjoy your Life and avoid taking Orders from Men for Life except ur BOSS at work. Isn't it merrier?

By the way, why did he get ANGRY with your Aunt, what transpired?

Although, I require a better information as to what transpired between your Dad, and Aunt.
For those of you saying parents should not involve in relationships, I just laugh, when you become a parent then you would understand how it feels when a parent sees red flag in someone their child wanna spend his or her life with. As a man wanting to marry a girl, you should understand that her family, especially her parents deserves unreserved respect, this is where she has been for over 27 years of her life, don't think you would just come in and collect her because you are a man and she needs to get married.
You have to assume yourself to be in her shoes and family's shoes, also assume it was your sister that's about to be taken, evaluate your behavior and thinking.
If you ever think you would sideline her immediate family, you are not ready for marriage, touch her, then you would know she is someone's daughter (at this point pray you didn't marry into a diabolic family).
My statement also goes to the female as well, always remember that you are marrying someone's child.

Regarding this issue, it's really difficult to advice in other not to judge the Guy wrongly, as for you the lady, its paramount to learn how to manage boundaries and interference appropriately, at some point they must come, just handle properly, think well before making your decision.

If the guy truly disregarded her family without remorse as stated, it's not advisable to continue. It's rather too early to have such issues. As a guy, wisdom needs to be applied, avoiding certain arguments and things is not weakness, you neva enter family you don dey quarrel...nahhhh...... His family ought to have settled things though, may be they've been sceptical and saw it as an opportunity to back out.

If you can give us the true detail as to what really transpired, please do, it would help make proper and fair judgement and advice.