50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad - Family (4)

50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad - Family (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad (56529 Views)

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Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by phemmyfour: 2:19pm On Nov 30, 2022

cunny88:
She had a golden opportunity to skul abroad which millions of Nigerian are looking for, she misused it and is looking for an opportunity to apportion blame, ppl like me attended public skuls from primary to university level with very minimal supervision, cos our parents were poor, yet we manage to kip our heads above d water. She is the master or her fate and architect of her misfortune.

Don't mind her

I was all by myself from js1 , non of my parents attended PTA or stepped into the school premises till I wrote jamb.

No guidance, no counseling even at university days. We were intentional to do the right thing

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Bigleaf1006: 2:20pm On Nov 30, 2022

cunny88:
She had a golden opportunity to skul abroad which millions of Nigerian are looking for, she misused it and is looking for an opportunity to apportion blame, ppl like me attended public skuls from primary to university level with very minimal supervision, cos our parents were poor, yet we manage to kip our heads above d water. She is the master or her fate and architect of her misfortune.

Because you made it doesn't mean everyone can,even your children isn't guaranteed of making it under same circumstances....successful isn't inherited....there are no two same personalities in the world,everyone is different and what works for A may not necessarily work for B.

There is a huge cultural revolution going on in our society today,the way your father raised you isn't same way you will raise your kids,I am certain they will do hate you if you try that.....many families are being broken abroad,you start to loose control over your kids from age 12 due to societal pressure on you and the kids,you don't have full control over your life nor the kids....that's what makes Nigeria different,you can be poor or down right irresponsible but your kids still rever you but not same abroad because if you falter in anyway those kids are ready to weaponise it against you with help of society over there

Except God is truly with you, not even money can help in most instances

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by NaijaGoingMaple: 2:21pm On Nov 30, 2022

This is trumped up story. The diction doesn't suggest anything British for someone who schooled in the UK from such an early age, and the writer isn't a woman.

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family where going abroad was like going to the market for us.

Some parents in Nigeria, have children in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by akbonus: 2:28pm On Nov 30, 2022

lived at the expense of a few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange for me seating on their laps whilst they used my nipples as a toy.

REALLY TERRIBLE,THOSE FRIENDS OF YOUR BROTHERS WILL BE FULL GROWN FATHERS NOW,PROBABLY GRAND PA'S,WHAT WILL BE GOING ON IN THEIR MINDS WHEN THEY WERE MAKING THEIR OWN FRIEND'S KID SISTER GET 5 POUNDS IN EXCHANGE FOR SUCH ABUSE?I JUST HOPE THEY LOOK FOR YOU AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS IF THE ARE STILL ALIVE.SORRY DEAR,YOU BE FINE LAS LAS EVEN AT THIS AGE.

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Naijaisshitho: 2:29pm On Nov 30, 2022

Charly500:
So many posts recently from people in the United Kingdom about the same topic, but none of them is mentioning their intention of coming back to nigeria due to life treating them so badly over there lol

Lol. I said it. One unfortunate person will say this. But I was surprised I didnt see it on the front page. Y'all are very unfortunate and bitter humanbeing. People will narrate their experinces on social media and you unfortunate humanbeing will open mouth only to start telling them to leave UK. Nigerians complain every day on social media and nobody ask anyone to leave Nigeria. If it is good news they are sharing about abroad, you people will start commending oyinbo and atteesting to their good nature. Cant people just say their mind or rant about how they feel? Just because they told you abroad is heaven doesnt mean every fabric of their society is balanced. People there also have concerns and they are allowed to raise it. Ever wondered why people commit suicide?

I am not surprised. Most Nigerians dont even care what their relative abroad is going through. Whether he is depressed, broke, unable to pay rent or even unable to cloth themselves. What they care is his ability to send money home. If you pay a surprise visit to Africa, the first thing they tell you is "you could have just send this money u used to book flight". They dont care about you bro. It is high time African in diaspora start seeing people back home for who they are. Nigerians in Nigeria are the most corrupt set of people. If you even decide to embark on a project back home, they will swindle you of your hard earned money. Which way Nigerians? Which way. You people talk a lot for a country.

4 Likes

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by shiwex: 2:30pm On Nov 30, 2022

Shalommy:
Lemme guess, that woman parents are our greedy politicians. That's God punishment on them. Chaiii

Not if she stayed in Pembury estate..thats a sh1thole and no politician will near that ghetto.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Familyplug(op): 2:41pm On Nov 30, 2022

Exactly my point.... Parenting is the greatest place of influence but it baffles me when people pay more attention to other issues of life than parenting.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by blingxx(m): 2:49pm On Nov 30, 2022

cunny88:
She had a golden opportunity to skul abroad which millions of Nigerian are looking for, she misused it and is looking for an opportunity to apportion blame, ppl likeoe me attended public skuls from primary to university level with very minimal supervision, cos our parents were poor, yet we manage to kip our heads above d water. She is the master or her fate and architect of her misfortune.

Bruh forget this shit you are missing the point .. she wasn't mentally ready for that journey i remember gaining admission at the age of 17 tbh I wasnt mentally ready that life , I be ajebo pikin wey no dey comot gate , omoh I learn adapt by force , it was not easy atall

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Adflex1(m): 2:55pm On Nov 30, 2022

This Post is useless., Those who could travel abroad like going to market in the 50's were considered Rich. Shes just a spoilt child, whom fell out of pampering grin

A CHILD THAT WANT TO SPOIL OR BE WAYWARD WILL BE WAYWARD.

Using myself as an example. I grew up in a slum along with my siblings. My mother was a Nurse with 30% attention on us, she had to do 3 jobs or more to keep us fed. My Dad never cared if we exist or not. Due to the Load my Aunt took my other siblings to raise while they sell and do home chores for her.

My Neighborhood was the Gotham and Den of Cultism, Weed, Prostitution and many more the Devil can boost of as heritage.

Non of those vices affected us because we knew that going that part won't create a better future for us. No amount of Peer pressure or short time pleasure got to me or my siblings.

Today we are all made and Proud of our efforts. We matured in our minds/heart at a tender age Realising we had nobody to turn to.

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by GboyegaD(m): 2:56pm On Nov 30, 2022

Naijaisshitho:
I was looking out for your comment to blame Nigeria for this woman's predicament. Nigerians will only read the headline and will quickly think shes discouraging them from coming abroad. That is why I was expecting to see comments like "Come back to Nigeria na" "Stop discouraging us from relocation" as if most of them even have money for relocation.

Trying to make sense of your post. Why were you looking out for my comment? Have you perceived me discouraging emigration? Have you read me blaming the country for someone else's predicaments?

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by pho: 3:02pm On Nov 30, 2022

"Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God-sent hours, making sterling, dollars, and euros, naira, etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood.
"

Totally agreed with you on this. I was thinking sending my kids to school in the UK and I decided to ask a family friend that is a lecturer in one of the university in the uk and this were her advice:
1. It will not be wise sending the kids alone cause of peer influence which is very high except if we all relocate as a family.
2. She said gay, LGBTQ etc is very high on their campuses now
3. Even at that you can't just schooled or discipline your child anyhow over there, the kids might rebel and you will land into trouble with government that even they that relocated it was with Fasting and Prayer it took to raise their kids properly over there
4. I should never leave the kids in care of anyone over their cause it will be a disaster as the caregiver or guidance will not have time for them
5. She advice if we are not coming as a family I should rather let them do their first degree in Naija and then send them for Masters over there once they are done with their first degree in naija

So, am totally in support with what you have said, since am doing well over here I have decided to be saving, once they finish their first degree here and they are fully grown with adequate upbringing by the grace and help of God, I can then send them abroad for their Masters.

Thank you Ma for sharing this you just collaborate the advice that was given to me by the family friends.

2 Likes

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Kobojunkie: 3:08pm On Nov 30, 2022

Naira20:
So you even believed her.
The story is a fiction.

Do you know her enough to know this is fiction? undecided

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Kobojunkie: 3:10pm On Nov 30, 2022

Desusi:
Not very clear brother! Who then is to blame? The parents, the nation, the children themselves , the environment they live or peers pressure. I was a kid when l left my parents to fend for my self and seek for greener pastures. Every man is the architect of his/her own future. From your write up,you seems to be part of the evils that be fell you.I guessed you have been over pampered and exposed. Nonetheless, parents have their lion shares too.some parents would be proud to say, 'my daughter/son are in abroad' As a teen ager,l would hustle from Aachen to luplow.West Germany to east,the home of neo skin heads.Many times they planned to burn our resident in Wittenberge and Wismar. Tell me which part of Germany l don't know? Yet,l was never spoiled. I remained discipline and kampe.Today,even though lam not a millionaire, l bless God.My parents never crossed the shore of Nigeria.

I wasn't strong or mentally ready for the world out there until well into my mid-twenties. We are all of us different and nothing wrong with that. That is why parents are necessary to help guide those who need the guidance. This lady here is expressing to us that she did not have that and left alone, she made terrible decisions growing up. undecided

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by KennethEnyi(m): 3:16pm On Nov 30, 2022

complexBoss12:
Why do I get the feeling that kids in Africa, nay Nigeria, are the strongest in the world. In most Nigerian homes nobody cares about your mental state, none of all these spoon feeding. infact, your parents insult, beat and abuse the living day light out you, but most still turn out okay.

This is not to trivialize her experience, just the other side of it, I would never mock her pain.

Some turn out okay not most … SOME

IF most turn out okay the level of mad people in Lagos will not be that number

2 Likes

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by DollarSigns(m): 3:16pm On Nov 30, 2022

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family where going abroad was like going to the market for us. I lived with my sister-in-law who I happened to have appeared to as a burden at the time. I had no one to take me out as a child, didn't enjoy McDonald's treats. I remember being bought KFC once by my mother's younger sister who was in the UK at the time. Most days I had to walk from Pembury estate, Hackney to Stamford hill because I had no transport fee. An uncle got me free school meals from the government so I always had lunch at school but other meals were not guaranteed...

No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even though I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of a few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange for me seating on their laps whilst they used my nipples as a toy. On a few occasions, my immediate family would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12 but due to malicious beating every day I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....

I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, and did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to the telephone moreover I didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was a few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t who was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story but I am sure it is to bless someone out there so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.

I and friends began to find it easy to befriend men for money at night clubs (Gullivers, Petter Stringfellows, etc) at a very young age which I found disgusting, they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as the strengths that made me who I am today...

The Koko of this post is this... Now in the UK, we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, raping, etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids' fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritize their priorities.

I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they thought sending me abroad to school was the best for me. They also trusted my siblings and didn’t like to get involved in the way they were raising us. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope. They didn't know their darling daughter had become something else.....

You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America, etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are??

So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD-FEARING PEOPLE.

In the UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7 and make all their monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives.

So many Nigerian parents in the UK don't even attend parents' evenings at their kid's school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some believe their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.

Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God-sent hours, making sterling, dollars, and euros, naira, etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood.

This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures even back home ….most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gatemen/next door/grandmothers/neighbors etc. Some Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread, etc after school...

Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer for them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead, your children may make you miss heaven if care is not taken.

I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS.

Let us stop being selfish and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God.

Some parents in Nigeria, have children in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

Blames come as a result of accepted failures;
The japa chance you were given was like an egg, but in your case you choose to smash the egg on the wall now you’re diluting others mind angry

Dear parents, the best thing you can do for your child is giving them citizenship in away land cool

You see this Nigeria, it’s the true bottomless pit the Bible was busy describing grin

@OP if you know the nature of shege & hardship we’ve seen to get to our different positions, you wouldn’t be typing about McDonalds shocked

, I think nairaland should fire all their mods and elect a new set, afterall it’s the elections season angry

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by gulfer: 3:17pm On Nov 30, 2022

Aunty Kemi Olunloyo undecided

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Fefa: 3:22pm On Nov 30, 2022

Your post is really inspiring. I think you should start a " kids / teens " club where you enlighten young ones on some of the unexpected exposures they are likely to face abroad or far away from home ( maybe in school ) as the case maybe while also educating them on possible ways to abstain and staying " sane " in an " insane " world.

3 Likes

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by viodemus: 3:26pm On Nov 30, 2022

She is saying nothing but the truth and even being nice about the truth.

All you need to do is go there for yourself.

Like in America, most equivalent of jss1 to jss 3, are already doing many questionable acts. From ss1 to ss3, many of them are in gangs, just as deep as cult in Nigeria.

Most of these kids have never being slapped before by an elder, so when you do it with them, just know say na head shot go end am.

The Nigerian parents don't have the time, your relatives in Nigeria don't care because you are in a developed country. So, they selfishly bother you for what you can do for them. Which will make the japaree be always looking for jobs to sustain themselves to just basic needs, while they send the rest to Nigeria. You get in that vicious cycle, while your family suffers.

These developed places are not made for you to go there, suffer to get any job - because it is not easy to just get job there, even in America; then be sending your money to Nigeria, to people who don't have any plan or really care for you. Misery loves company, so because Nigeria is historically and currently a hell hole, they want to make the japaree family a hell hole. Not all but many. I used to be that way to my sisters, but grace took me there, and it changed my mentality.

Even Oga Azikiwe japa(ed) in 1928. So no be today, wey Nigerian incompetence dun dey show red alarming light. Na when he get there, he see for himself.

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Kobojunkie: 3:26pm On Nov 30, 2022

complexBoss12:
1. Why do I get the feeling that kids in Africa, nay Nigeria, are the strongest in the world. In most Nigerian homes nobody cares about your mental state, none of all these spoon feeding. infact, your parents insult, beat and abuse the living day light out you, but most still turn out okay.

2. This is not to trivialize her experience, just the other side of it, I would never mock her pain.

1. Yet those children grow majorly into "broken" adults easily swayed by con men - pastors, mogs, politicians, money. Nah! That is not telling you they are strong as that shows that the kids are just as fragile as kids world over. undecided

2. There are kids who have similar experiences in Nigeria and are equally left broken by it. undecided

2 Likes

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Menclothing: 3:41pm On Nov 30, 2022

True story

Nice

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Nekky5(f): 3:50pm On Nov 30, 2022

Life!

i wish i have a family of my own
I regret not knowing my real family

All will be Well?

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Sibbb: 3:54pm On Nov 30, 2022

FrancescoFarino:
If there's one thing you should be thanking God for, is the fact that you had the privilege to study abroad including your exposure over the years..

You still missed the point after the long message

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by jimmychang: 3:55pm On Nov 30, 2022

Ikennaford:
You should be the one to shut the fucck up, the guy is right

Mumu wey grow under caring parents dey get opinion under people wey their parents no care for dey talk.YOU THINK IT IS BY JUST HAVING PARENTS.IT IS LIKE HAVING A DICK AND YOU CAN'T USE IT.So what is the use.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Sunny2034: 4:02pm On Nov 30, 2022

DaddyCK:
wot the heck is the 50 year old cargo talkin about...am a londonder (living in rich area of Pekam near City airport) & THERE are pleanty of women here: lightskin women, half cast women, india women, chinesese, africa women, nigeria women & suplus women........juss becuz she cant find man, she sayin London is rubbbbish.. The old cargo need to go find man coz she a disgrace to our great Nigeria!!!!(no oofeinse)

Are you on drugs? How is Peckham a rich area?

1 Like

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by AfonjaConehead: 4:03pm On Nov 30, 2022

Yeye fowl go live life dey look for who to blame grin

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Nobody: 4:05pm On Nov 30, 2022

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a... in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

This is not about sending children abroad. Even if this girl was in Nigeria, she would have experienced the same or worse. It's about bad parenting.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Average9jaman: 4:05pm On Nov 30, 2022

Very touching and powerful

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family where going abroad was like going to the market for us. I lived with my sister-in-law who I happened to have appeared to as a burden at the time. I had no one to take me out as a child, didn't enjoy McDonald's treats. I remember being bought KFC once by my mother's younger sister who was in the UK at the time. Most days I had to walk from Pembury estate, Hackney to Stamford hill because I had no transport fee. An uncle got me free school meals from the government so I always had lunch at school but other meals were not guaranteed...

No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even though I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of a few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange for me seating on their laps whilst they used my nipples as a toy. On a few occasions, my immediate family would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12 but due to malicious beating every day I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....

I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, and did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to the telephone moreover I didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was a few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t who was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story but I am sure it is to bless someone out there so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.

I and friends began to find it easy to befriend men for money at night clubs (Gullivers, Petter Stringfellows, etc) at a very young age which I found disgusting, they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as the strengths that made me who I am today...

The Koko of this post is this... Now in the UK, we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, raping, etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids' fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritize their priorities.

I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they thought sending me abroad to school was the best for me. They also trusted my siblings and didn’t like to get involved in the way they were raising us. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope. They didn't know their darling daughter had become something else.....

You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America, etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are??

So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD-FEARING PEOPLE.

In the UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7 and make all their monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives.

So many Nigerian parents in the UK don't even attend parents' evenings at their kid's school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some believe their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.

Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God-sent hours, making sterling, dollars, and euros, naira, etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood.

This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures even back home ….most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gatemen/next door/grandmothers/neighbors etc. Some Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread, etc after school...

Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer for them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead, your children may make you miss heaven if care is not taken.

I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS.

Let us stop being selfish and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God.

Some parents in Nigeria, have children in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by Nobody: 4:06pm On Nov 30, 2022

Sunny2034:
Are you on drugs? How is Peckham a rich area?

EXCUSE ME TWICE??
son ...did u goooogle check or YOUTUBE pekam?..u homebase people mennnn..u there in that Nigerian argueing with a Londoner like we on the same level? can u compare Pekam to any were in that yor Nigeria? do u people even have traffic lights? Pekam is in SOuth east london where rich people live... DIO u even no what a hight streeet is?....bro we not talkin about street on a mountain I beg!!!! (no oofense)

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by grandstar(m): 4:09pm On Nov 30, 2022

My younger brother who now lives in Wales calls these out of control criminally minded black boys the "scourge of England".

He said their parents have no time for their kids, working 24/7 to make money and achieve the reason why they japa. Unfortunately, what these kids are not thought at home, they learn outside on the streets.

It is not racism but negligence.

Re: 50-Year-Old Nigerian Shares Her Regrets About Her Parents Sending Her Abroad by BRATISLAVA: 4:19pm On Nov 30, 2022

Familyplug:
A 50-YEAR-OLD NIGERIAN WOMAN SHARES HER REGRETS ABOUT HER PARENTS SENDING HER ABROAD TO SCHOOL AS A TEENAGER.

I came to the UK in the 80s and went to Skinners school for girls in Stamford hill where I failed woefully. I come from a family where going abroad was like going to the market for us. I lived with my sister-in-law who I happened to have appeared to as a burden at the time. I had no one to take me out as a child, didn't enjoy McDonald's treats. I remember being bought KFC once by my mother's younger sister who was in the UK at the time. Most days I had to walk from Pembury estate, Hackney to Stamford hill because I had no transport fee. An uncle got me free school meals from the government so I always had lunch at school but other meals were not guaranteed...

No one ever asked me how I was doing in school even though I was a failure, never disclosed my report sheet because my results were always 'U- Unclassified' worse than F9. I lived at the expense of a few of my brother's friends who were ready to give me £5 in exchange for me seating on their laps whilst they used my nipples as a toy. On a few occasions, my immediate family would give me £5, £10 but NONE EVER TOOK ME ON AS HIS OR HER RESPONSIBILITY. One glorious day, a brother of mine took me on when he noticed that I have been associating with friends that were smoking and sexing at the age of 12 but due to malicious beating every day I had no choice other than to run away from his house. ....

I became streetwise, smoking heavily at the age of 11/12, and did my first abortion at the age of 14/15. I was unable to contact my mother because I had no access to the telephone moreover I didn't know how to use the phones then. I lived with a Jamaican friend who was a few years older than me and we had a man friend aged 50t who was impotent but would pay our rent whenever we allowed him to lick/suck us. Hhhhmmmm I'm sobbing as I'm writing this; I don't know why my spirit has led me to share this horrific and pathetic story but I am sure it is to bless someone out there so I am not ashamed of letting it out because someone outthere will think twice before making the mistake my family made.

I and friends began to find it easy to befriend men for money at night clubs (Gullivers, Petter Stringfellows, etc) at a very young age which I found disgusting, they molested my body orally. I can't even carry on expressing my bitter past experiences because I have learnt to see them as the strengths that made me who I am today...

The Koko of this post is this... Now in the UK, we see Nigerian children killing, shooting, stabbing, selling drugs, raping, etc and we wonder why they are ridiculing our darling country's name... Hhhhmmmm it is not the kids' fault it is the fault of the parents that weren't ready to prioritize their priorities.

I can't blame my mother and neither can I blame my father because they thought sending me abroad to school was the best for me. They also trusted my siblings and didn’t like to get involved in the way they were raising us. They believed when you give a goat to someone, you let go of the rope. They didn't know their darling daughter had become something else.....

You may be boosting that your child lives in London, America, etc but do you ever ask yourself how life is treating them where they are??

So many parents in Nigeria believe the field is greener on the other side forgetting that NO ONE CAN TRAIN YOUR KIDS THE WAY YOU CAN EXCEPT LOVING & GOD-FEARING PEOPLE.

In the UK so many Nigerian parents have misplaced their priorities, they rather work 24/7 and make all their monies to build mansions in Nigeria at the expense of their children's lives.

So many Nigerian parents in the UK don't even attend parents' evenings at their kid's school, some can't even help their kids with homework. Some believe their kids are at home and they are safe not knowing who is there with them. Some would rather spoil their kids with money & expensive outfits instead of investing quality time in them.

Sending your kids abroad to be looked after by someone else is a pure waste of time and bringing your kids from 9ja without giving them all the time needed is an irresponsible move and to be working all God-sent hours, making sterling, dollars, and euros, naira, etc without spending quality time with your kids is a disgrace to parenthood.

This is one of our bad irresponsible cultures even back home ….most children in Nigeria were brought up by housemaids/gatemen/next door/grandmothers/neighbors etc. Some Nigerians don't believe in family planning rather they will have so many children and start using them to hawk sweets, bread, etc after school...

Having a child is not by force, God did not say YOU MUST HAVE CHILDREN, YES HE STATED 'MULTIPLY' but he didn't mean we should do it to suffer for them. Having children does not mean you will live your life joyfully and it doesn't give you a place in heaven either, instead, your children may make you miss heaven if care is not taken.

I am a product of a neglected, nonchalant, cultural upbringing and I WILL NEVER WISH IT ON MY GREATEST ENEMY BECAUSE I HAD IT ROUGH AND IN SADNESS.

Let us stop being selfish and stop pushing our problems/burdens on others. Your child should be with you no matter how poor or rich you are and you must teach them in the ways of God.

Some parents in Nigeria, have children in Diaspora and know nothing about their life , only the fact that their child is abroad.

Is this your story?

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