₦airaland Forum

My neighbor was in ur shoes and I pray for him to divorce the wife and they divorced

Women and wickedness

Naijaisshitho:
Yes. He should find means to appease his wife. If i were in his shoe, that is what i will do. He can take the girl child to motherless babies home.

You are very sensele33 withbthus your connent. If you dont have any meaning tiihgvuo say just keep quiet please.

frozen70:
Well it depends on where the school is located

My children are in boarding house and they don't feel abandoned

I went to boarding school far away in the east, my parents never visited me and I don't feel bad about it because Lagos was too far to the east

Boarding home schools makes you to train yourself and be independent of yourself, especially catholic boarding schools

I also went to boarding school. Your case is different because you never had the type of problem the girl is experiencing. Imagine finding out your dad isn't your biological father and your step mum maltreatment added with boarding school.

Naijaisshitho:
Yes. He should find means to appease his wife. If i were in his shoe, that is what i will do. He can take the girl child to motherless babies home.

You're heartless o. Haba do you have empathy?
Am thinking you're the second wife.

Do not fail her mom even in the death. Keep your vow.

AGREEMENT IS AGREEMENT, EXPECIALY WHEN ENTERED WITH A DEAD ONE. WHICH EYES DO YOU NOW WANT YOUR LOVELY DEPARTED WIFE TO BE LOOKING AT YOU FROM THE GREAT BEYOND? , PLEASE RESPECT THE DEAD AND HONOR THE PROMISE YOU MADE TO HER TO LETTER.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Sir,
Good Evening Sir.
May yhu live long and may yhu know no sorrows till yhu grow old and reap the fruits of yhur labour.
Please I beg yhu in the name of whatever yhu serve and believe strongly in.
Pls don't send that child away, I beg this of yhu... Yhu can take any other decision, buh don't let that girl down and her mom.
Thanks and have a lovely night rest.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

What makes you a man is your ability to keep.a promise
Any woman that cannot love the child of another woman live more question to be answered as per the love she has foe you . You are the man of the house ...she most respect your decision. That child most be protected...Well taken care of.. The day you yield to your wife pressure to throw that child away marks the beginning of so many bad things in your life .

Invite someone she respects in her family ..Table the matter and let them.know why you cannot yield to her demand . If she fails to obey you then go ahead and do what you wanna do if you have the resources.

Very hard discission of his life..
Marriage is hell on earth,someone need to thank God if you don't get this kind of mess..

OKOATA:
Bro agreed he made a mistake of not telling the one but on the other hand the one too is wicked,I'm sure this is the main reason the man didn't tell her cos something like this might happen. If he sends the girl to boarding school, one day she will tell the man to send the other 3kids to boarding school also..

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Women are naturally wicked especially Igbo women

Know this.
Should something happen to you, be it you are no longer around or aren't able to provide for the family. She will treat the other kids that ain't here's same.

Ghoxt:
Know this.
Should something happen to you, be it you are no longer around or aren't able to provide for the family. She will treat the other kids that ain't here's same.

In fact, he should be wary of that wife now because she can ensure that something "happens" to him.

Nwaotu10:
Supposing his wife sees him as a tough, mean and no-nonsense man, she wouldn't dare do anyhow, bro.

Ask "Tough" men like Dino Melaye, FFK ( well known wife beaters) how they fared in their marriages despite being tough with their wives. Na when you enter marriage proper na I'm
U go know when a mosquito lands on your testicles, you will truly learn that there is always a way to solve problems without using anger and violence.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

As for me i like the decision of you getting an apartment for her outside and then live with the other 4 kids in ur own home,if she can’t accept her and everybody should be at peace then that decision is final as for me.

Sir, I assure u that your case isn't so different from what many homes face secretly.
Hardly find men hating on children from woman's previous marriage, unlike women.

That's child has seen more trauma behind ur back than you can imagine.
If u ar financially buoyant, rent her an apartment very far away. Fund her & her kids, let ur kids be at peace since she has drawn the line already.

Simple

chazon:
Sir, I assure u that your case isn't so different from what many homes face secretly.
Hardly find men hating on children from woman's previous marriage, unlike women.

That's child has seen more trauma behind ur back than you can imagine.
If u ar financially buoyant, rent her an apartment very far away. Fund her & her kids, let ur kids be at peace since she has drawn the line already.
Simple

Abeg no dey lie!

How many men even allow their wives to bring children from a previous relationship anywhere close to the home??

Kobojunkie:
Abeg no dey lie!

How many men even allow their wives to bring children from a previous relationship anywhere close to the home??

jessylaurel:
I also went to boarding school. Your case is different because you never had the type of problem the girl is experiencing. Imagine finding out your dad isn't your biological father and your step mum maltreatment added with boarding school.

That's the more reason she has to be in boarding house

When she comes back home
Every one would have missed her

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

You messed up big time.

You should have told your 2nd wife EVERY DAMN THING during courtship. Is she not your wife? Do you not trust her? If she did the same to you, how would you take it?

I appreciate you were able to share enough info for us to know you screwed up. That being said, I have no pity for you.

frozen70:
That's the more reason she has to be in boarding house

When she comes back home
Every one would have missed her

What in the world do you mean by that nonsense?

You single a child out for boarding school simply on grounds thaf is adopted? Very wicked idea!

Kobojunkie:
What in the world do you mean by that nonsense?

You single a child out for boarding school simply on grounds thaf is adopted? Very wicked idea!

Assuming you have sense, you would have followed the story from point one

You are not oppotuned to attend boarding secondary school, that's why you reason in reverse form

Tokskob2008:
Your wife is just showing her true color and nothing more while hiding under the pretense that the girl doesn't belong to you biologically. So what if the girl isn't even related to you at all or she is a maid whom you have turned to a daughter, she would have poisoned her or what

It's very rare to find a woman who loves another woman's child as her own, it's not like the child expenses are on her so why the hatred... Funny thing is, if she was the one who brought a kid from outside she would expect the husband to cherish and care for the kid no matter what.... You are the man of the house op so make up your mind and stand by it. She is just being selfish!

You have said it all, she's just starting to show her real colour. And it won't stop there. Once she succeed with that girl, she will move against the biological ones starting with low key maltreatment if that isn't already the cases.

frozen70:
Assuming you have sense, you would have followed the story from point one

You are not oppotuned to attend boarding secondary school, that's why you reason in reverse form

Um....I was in boarding school from age 11 through 15, but one thing I knew wasn't sent there by a wicked stepmother on grounds of being an adopted child. Yeah, so this attack of yours still makes no sense.

Kobojunkie:
Um....I was in boarding school from age 11 through 15, but one thing I knew wasn't sent there by a wicked stepmother on grounds of being an adopted child. Yeah, so this attack of yours still makes no sense.

Am long done with you
I don't argue with a person who have partial faults with comprehension

[quote author=Blessedmercy8 post=118797855]That was why I said she should sign an undertaking if she later agrees to cohabit with the girl.

[signing an undertaking is not enough that girl should be separated from that woman, the woman might not harm physically,she will torment her emotionally. The mental health of the little girl should be the main concern here. In my opinion, the best thing is to divorce the woman or he leaves the house with his kids
In fact the best option here is to divorce cos your are not safe, she can poison you too]

[quote author=Gudfadah post=118781077][/quote]Op, please give updates on this matter.

Evil women everywhere

Pls keep your promise, if the child is of age send her to a good boarding school and make sure to visit her regularly and show much love, ur wife might make her life a living hell if she stays home. A good boarding school will serve as protection, and make sure to deliver her provisions by yourself no matter what.
May God guide you

Oga this Angel of a daughter came into your life way before you met your selfish wife....hence, she has more place in your home than her...if anyone should leave your house it should be that you wife.
Though I blame you for not telling her the Truth before marriage.

Your decision is the right decision. let her go and stay somewhere with the twins.

excellence44:
Sorry for the quote. Are you really a woman? Because this line of reasoning align towards man's manliness.

Nothing about manliness. It's the right thing to do. The woman is such a bitter soul.

semanose:
Nothing about manliness. It's the right thing to do. The woman is such a bitter soul.

So men and women reason alike?