You are a man I must said
Infact I admire your maturity sir

Please, I'm begging you in the name, of what so ever you believe on. Be a real man by keeping to your words! For your late wife to entrust her in your care, she must have passed through hell! Still yet, still remind your devilish wife! sorry for the word used on her! That the child in question is a girl that definitely she will marry out, one day, she will not drag any properties with her own children. If she still remains adamant to this, you have no choice by renting another apartment for her. By doing this, the little girl will be safe because she might not mind poisoning that girl.And for your aunty, cut all ties with her because she a wolf in a sheep clothing! I read some people comment that you should send her to a boarding school, bro, don't try it. Be a real man, bro!

That your aunt that came to your wife to reveal the secret did it on purpose. Discourage such people from further visits.
They only know how to destroy things, they never know how to build.
It will not be easy now...

You have the final say because you are the head of the house. Please remember the promise with the late wife. I will advise you get her apartment and stay with your 4 children for peace to rain. And please don't vacate the house for her because the house was there before you married her. May God protect the girl and others from evil, may God direct you and guide you. I wish you well in Jesus name. All will be well brother

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

That girl she wants to send parking will be your glory in your days of reckoning.
Tell her pronto that if she can’t treat her well,she’s leaving.
The girl is your child,there’s no exception.

O.p. as a man, you ought to have told the second wife the truth about your step daughter, the promise you made with your wife and that she must treat her and your other children like hers and with love.Then she must be told that if she did not accept that condition then she should forget the marriage.
What you can do now is to threaten to marry another wife, she won't like that.Henceforth get close to your step daughter because she can poison or kill her.

Zonefree:

If she can treat that child that way, imagine how she'll be treating strangers outside. I'd rather remain and die single than to entangle my delicate heart to a woman like that. Tueh!

... Abeg, with pleasure, order beta fresh fish pepper soup and 3 bottles of your favourite drink... I GO PAY !!

note:-

if u treat ur wife well; the day u re down .. its a 50-50 chance that she may stay with you; in fact, the chances of supporting u during dark times are even lesser than 20%

if u treat that so-called Stepchild (because from what u said, she is ur daughter, forget biological or not) well; the day u re down .. its a 95-5 chance that she may stay with you. in fact the chances of supporting u during dark times is even greater than 99%

if u treat ur mother well; the day u re down .. its a 100% chance that she will stay with you. in fact even when u didn't support her, ur mother will still stay with u 100% when u are down..

so as a man .. understand this.. then ur future is safe.

forget all those, pastor`s gists.. in this century it's no longer till death do us part.

Op the option you suggested is superb and I have seen many wonderful suggestions on the thread too.

If na me, I go give her the condition of treating the girl like her own if she wants to remain married to me else I'm going to divorce her....shikena



.....because no one knows what she could do to that girl if she gets to know u rented an apartment for her outside...if she can stl be doing all of this to her when she is under ur nose who knows what she'll do when nobody is watching

alaska4life:
Please, I'm begging you in the name, of what so ever you believe on. Be a real man by keeping to your words! For your late wife to entrust her in your care, she must have passed through hell! Still yet, still remind your devilish wife! sorry for the word used on her! That the child in question is a girl that definitely she will marry out, one day, she will not drag any properties with her own children. If she still remains adamant to this, you have no choice by renting another apartment for her. By doing this, the little girl will be safe because she might not mind poisoning that girl.And for your aunty, cut all ties with her because she a wolf in a sheep clothing! I read some people comment that you should send her to a boarding school, bro, don't try it. Be a real man, bro!

...

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

It is unfortunate that you married a terrible woman.

And your solution is appropriate, since she wouldn't respect your adopted daughter as your own then she might well go live on her own.

How old is your first daughter now? I guess she would be about 15 years right?

You have to address this issue head-on. We don't want to read stories of your teenage daughter drinking sniper because of the attitude of your wife.

blackmarya:
If na me, I go give her the condition of treating the girl like her own if she wants to remain married to me else I'm going to divorce her....shikena

.....because no one knows what she could do to that girl if she gets to know u rented an apartment for her outside...if she can stl be doing all of this to her when she is under ur nose who knows what she'll do when nobody is watching

He intends to rent a house for the woman to stay with her twin and while he stays with his 4 kids.

Gaddafih001:

That girl she wants to send parking will be your glory in your days of reckoning.
Tell her pronto that if she can’t treat her well,she’s leaving.
The girl is your child,there’s no exception.

... Gbam!!

Go on with your plan. I really feel for that small girl. I wish that small girl all the best in life. May God keep her for us. Amen

buJu234:
note:-

if u treat ur wife well; the day u re down .. its a 50-50 chance that she may stay with you; in fact, the chances of supporting u during dark times are even lesser than 20%

if u treat that so-called Stepchild (because from what u said, she is ur daughter, forget biological or not) well; the day u re down .. its a 95-5 chance that she may stay with you. in fact the chances of supporting u during dark times is even greater than 99%

if u treat ur mother well; the day u re down .. its a 100% chance that she will stay with you. in fact even when u didn't support her, ur mother will still stay with u 100% when u are down..

so as a man .. understand this.. then ur future is safe.

forget all those, pastor`s gists.. in this century it's no longer till death do us part.

oga !! What are you trying to say ? Be specific pls.

You don't need an oracle to tell you what will happen to ur late wife's kids if you drop dead today.
That woman is evil.
She can do much worse than that.
Watch her carefully.

SPAMBOX7:
This is contrary of what I expected of you. Are you sure this account isn't hacked?

Mind if I know what you expected from me?

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

you are a man God bless you. you will live long. pls send that woman away with her twins. cos next thing she might ask you to send other 3 away. if she cant live with and respect the other children then she shouldnt be there, cos she could be a threat to you children's lives

We dey kampe

rezzy:


I don quote you

How are you doing and your family?

How K,y,and new Omomo dey ?

Op don't rent any house for that woman because she doesn't deserve it, simply send her back to her parents house with the condition that you will accept her back only when she's ready to accept and treat kids like her own children....

She's a heartless woman, please don't apologize to her again for not telling her from the beginning that you are not the biological father of that innocent girl, the child is yours biologically or not what difference does it make?

MyAmericandream:


She might decide to go diabolic if the man is proving too stubborn. Some women can do anything just to secure their territory, it is just her and are children nobody else.

I concur

OP should clearly understand that his new wife is being deliberately difficult and even wicked. If anything should happen to him later in life and he is no longer available to personally care for his children from his late wife (illness or death), the new wife will treat them very hashly. They will suffer!

OP can't be too gentle here. He needs to be mad angry and let the woman's know that if she can't treat the child well as due your own child, the marriage will die. QED!

He can't be indecisive and make the woman think she's right in any way concerning this. She already knew the girl as your child (adopted notwithstanding) before marrying you, and that has not changed regardless of the background story. She got married to a widower with children, that much detail was enough.

I am even very annoyed on your behalf, and my response here is just a mellowed-down version of how I really feel and believe you should feel (outraged) - not for you to start apologizing for the pact that you made with your late wife with the new one!

Bro, this woman (including your busy-body aunty who was evidently not well-meaning) can't be allowed to ride rough-shod on you and destroy the peace of your home!

Away with her, abeg!

jessylaurel:


Putting her in boarding school may affect the girl psychologically (abandonment issues). And what if he doesn't visit her on visiting day maybe because of work or the so called wife may cause him to either forget. Imagine how the child will feel knowing that the stepmother doesn't like her and might have influenced her dad. There's nothing more heartbreaking than for a child not to see her parents on visiting day it's better you come empty handed than not coming at all.

Well it depends on where the school is located

My children are in boarding house and they don't feel abandoned

I went to boarding school far away in the east, my parents never visited me and I don't feel bad about it because Lagos was too far to the east

Boarding home schools makes you to train yourself and be independent of yourself, especially catholic boarding schools

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Sit her down n ask her what she wants while u let her know sending the girl to her grandparents is not an option. If she choose to leave, let her go. But be ready to ignore a lot of rubbish from her.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

My brother if I am in your shoes.... Na to send her out of d family or look 4 house dat z far from your location....

If anything apen to dat girl my brother your success z gone or your happiness z gone


And pray dat your new wife no kill her....

Threaten her with separation or divorce and watch her change, don't give in to her manipulations.

Coolabbie:
If your wife is an Igbo woman, the life of that girl could be in very serious danger.

Please do all you can to protect your daughter.

wetin concern Igbo with the post?

samonak:

I don't think you're married or even been in a serious relationship with a woman hence the Alpha male talk. Will he be in the house 247 to monitor what will be going on? You don't know what women are capable of that's why you de mis yarn.

Supposing his wife sees him as a tough, mean and no-nonsense man, she wouldn't dare do anyhow, bro.

Why you go even marry again sef... You for just get girlfriend and train the four children like that, and employ a made if you have the means

That new wife is just showing you the tip of the iceberg if her colour. When her twin grows, it's will shock you she will transfer that attitude to your biological children with the late wife

well

your only fault is not telling her earlier before she discovered

you should have told her, you claimed you love her isn't it?

but her using it as excuse to maltreat that girl is senseless

she's not a nice woman at all, I'm sorry

she should change, and continue treating the girl the way she was doing before the discovery

it's nothing serious to me honestly

and your aunty, I'm sorry to say this as well, if she die ehn,no autopsy needed, na cho cho cho kill her

I pray she live long

Divorce That Lady.