₦airaland Forum

wife like pikin

Okay.

toprealman:
I just prayed for my generation ma. I love peace and have enjoyed it all my life. My children and grandkids deserve even better.
I grew up in an environment that people communicate regularly, love radiated from all corners. Even in the mist of conflict and disagreement, stuff got trashed almost immediately. Anything short if this is pure evil, I will never wish it on my enemy let alone me and my jewel.
You got this long response because today is Sunday!

And you're the right person, right?

justlovesfarmin:
You see why the op asked for married people’s advice only.

You should have left this discussion to the right people.

How about communicating with your partner like adults that you both are?

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

All I will do is sit her down and explain why I do not like her actions and the reasons I didn’t want her to go . I will communicate this as reasonably as I can . Effective Communication is everything . If she does apologize after the talk , then I will let it slide as a one off event . But if she doesn’t apologize, I will keep quiet and now be deliberately unreasonable with an event she wants to go for and request she stays home . If she goes , then she will face the consequences. Eg rent a place and leave the house . Ask her to leave . Lock her out of the house . Create a situation where she thinks there is a younger lady that is obedient to you and watch jealousy reset her head .

But first communicate effectively to be sure she understands why you didn’t want her to go . It might be a communication issue

Samantha123:
Then let me be if you're not ready to advise your fellow brother.

if u have the ability to read to understand u will see the advice i gave the first time i quoted ur post

Candidlady:
meaning you will always say yes to all his biddings yeah?

You have a problem with that?
The future is always say yes to his biddings yeah?

Samantha123:
I'm not a man and I'm definitely not married, but as a woman, I think the man should give her silent treatment and pretend that she's not even present in the house.

Eat out and come home only to sleep until she acknowledges her wrongs.

And I think that it'll also depends on the kind of event she went to.

You just said my mind.

How will your wife disobey you especially when you've been good to her? Ask fir separation and if no change, seek divorce and get a woman that will respect you. Life is too short to waste it

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

descarado:
There are lots of things wrong with the @op post.

You don't set the rule in a marriage. It's called partnership for a reason. That tradi6ionally man is bestowed the head doesn't mean he dictates what happen in the home.
Secondly, you don't cage an adult. You have no right. She wanna travel, she travels. As long as house is in other, why wont she go and have good time if thats what makes her happy? We cone tk this world once. Men over the years keep on dishing out unwritten rules for women to follow cos they feel its their effing right. She don't stop you from traveling or having boys night out with guys.

Marriage has gone past what happened during our parents time so never use that as yardstick. It's 50/50 union this time around whether she is a housewife or not.

50 50 whether or not she is a housewife, you're a jonser. Make i just meet your type God.

Bananapill:
Looks are good but every young man out there should look properly before marrying a lady. I repeat look well.
The freedom the man gave her was too much and probably she has been socializing without the husband even looking. That is the reason she could flout the man's instruction
And to young wives, don't do that because something might happen when you disregard your husband's instruction just for the single reason of disobeying the head over you.
The man will have to sit the woman down and tell her the reason he didn't want her to go out and puts down the rules for her no more social outings if he's not going to the same place.

Why don't you lock her up in the house?


This woman has kids in the university, so she will be above 40. She has her own businesses, a fully matured elderly woman.


You want to be ordering her around like a 16 year old?


You people are not ready.

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

If you're not cheating on her, and she's not cheating on you, the only solution is to hold your peace.


If you need someone to flex your muscles on, face your kids.



At that age, you shouldn't even think of controlling your wife. She has sacrificed so much to give your kids a stable childhood, the least you could do is let her have some peace in her life at this stage.


She didn't steal money, she didn't beat your Mom, she only attended a party, why are you looking for trouble where there's none?

.

Rechargeam247:
She works, she has businesses. The children are in the university.

She isn't cheating, just disrespectful.

Respect is reciprocal o. You want to be commanding a woman who has kids in the university and runs her own businesses .....lol.....

Oga ! That time has passed, now you are friends o... As in paddies. if you push too much you will be left.

You see your kids once they are out of University and earning Thier own money they become your friends .... How much more Thier mother.

Zukwanike!!

Vinnie2000:
BEST ADVICE/COMMENT of All.

OP, Come and Learn from this Guy/Lady..

Marriage is all about COMMUNICATION. You as a Couple sit down and Thrash out Differences.

Some Ladies Here are Talking about Silent Treatment..
while some Guys are talking about ORDERS as if their Marriage is a Police Station or Military Cantonment!

I laugh anytime i see these "sit her down and talk" comment, for a r/ship that is over 15yrs do guyz think the man have not done that, what if he as sat her down n talk n talk, women respect men with actions over men that talk talk n talk, is like a woman married a woman.

Generally people tend to show respect for two reasons, what they stand to gain from you or consequences they feared.

Naturally when it comes to r/ship just two things will make a woman respect a man; what she stands to benefit from the man or Love.
if a woman have a reason to believe the man is above her, intelligent wise, financial or in exposure asides just age she go show respect.

In Op's case i strongly believe, he holds no leverage, most especially in finances cos the wife seems independent and what could have save the day is "LOve" which i doubt if it exist anymore from her side, apparently she is either daring OP for the worst to happen or she knows nothing will happen.

OP is left with two options, either he works on himself to re-earn her respect or ... no be my mouth that one go comot

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

loool simple tell her to from there go her papa house go stay na, problem solved

You do realize that you're not making sense right?

If I ask you to pinpoint the statement you just mentioned here, would you do it?

advanceDNA:
She should be drop money for food and be caring for her and still not eat the food.....all this funny women sef.....they never want to pay for the consequences of their action

It’s outgrown, she has outgrown you, and no man should allow this in his home. Two can not work together unless they agreed. If you wife does otherwise in a house you answer the man, then my brother you should remind her who you’re in the home. Unless you don’t know the position you stand. A relationship am in, she speaks anyhow, she pays a price and beg on her kneels. Let alone traveling when I ask her not to. We are Africans understand this and solve your problem.

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

not possible.. lies..u tell ur wife not to travel she then does so without telling u..I have never heard such as a benin man..this is my 5th yr in marriage I actually dont think it's possible so I dont want to imagine it

osazsky:
not possible.. lies..u tell ur wife not to travel she then does so without telling u..I have never heard such as a benin man..this is my 5th yr in marriage I actually dont think it's possible so I dont want to imagine it

Lol, why do you think it's not possible?

biggy00000:
Desist from doing that last line boss.

No matter how bad MD/CEO fight dem no day call regulator to interfere o.

Only call your in-law during emergency particularly health related. #my opinion#

I understand You but its good sometimes in some extreme cases so that when You take some decision tomorrow they won't be surprise

Samantha123:
You do realize that you're not making sense right?

If I ask you to pinpoint the statement you just mentioned here, would you do it?

If you don't see the context and the point I made... Then I cannot help you... It wrote in simple english....

If you have nothing better to say, do yourself a favor and shut up!!!

It's not our fault that you see all the females around you as failures and always generalizing them... You say you like the truth, but you always sound biased and bitter towards women.

Who said he must give the woman money for food and money to care for herself, but still not eat the food bought with his own money?

advanceDNA:
If you don't see the context and the point I made... Then I cannot help you... It wrote in simple english....

If your wife don't respect you just forget it, u are not married.

theredaddy:
I laugh anytime i see these "sit her down and talk" comment, for a r/ship that is over 15yrs do guyz think the man have not done that, what if he as sat her down n talk n talk, women respect men with actions over men that talk talk n talk, is like a woman married a woman.

Generally people tend to show respect for two reasons, what they stand to gain from you or consequences they feared.

Naturally when it comes to r/ship just two things will make a woman respect a man; what she stands to benefit from the man or Love.
if a woman have a reason to believe the man is above her, intelligent wise, financial or in exposure asides just age she go show respect.

In Op's case i strongly believe, he holds no leverage, most especially in finances cos the wife seems independent and what could have save the day is "LOve" which i doubt if it exist anymore from her side, apparently she is either daring OP for the worst to happen or she knows nothing will happen.

OP is left with two options, either he works on himself to re-earn her respect or ... no be my mouth that one go comot

Thank you; you've said it all. The first thing that came to my mind was that the man is lacking financially.

Whoever you are, God will bless you abundantly for this, I pray your marriage will continue to be fruitful, blissful and a joyous one with peace and sound health.
I so much like your advice

safarifarms:
Depends. If it's the first time I believe a verbal expression of displeasure should do. Considering she's generally a good wife. If it's reoccurring that's when you should consider other measures and that also depends on your wife. What works in for one person may not work for another. I have a good wife too but she can also be stubborn at times and get on my nerves. My wife will ignore your silent treatment and act as though she is not bothered.

You may not have to deal with every occasion of disobedience if you have a generally respectful wife. You have to also learn tolerance. But should it be persistent you may consider denying or canceling something that she values so well. Like not subscribing to DSTV on time if she's so into it and you are not. You don't need to spell it out as it's punishment for that but just be nonchalant about it till she complains and you find a way to subtly get her to realize that displeasing you can make you not to care about pleasing her. But be sure not to deny her an essential that is usually your responsibility. If she has to use her money to subscribe it and act as though she wasn't bothered then you may need to do something more serious which I won't want to be the one suggesting one for you. But even if she subscribes and acts as if not bothered it's likely just a facade. Trust me, most Nigerian women would rather keep their money for Jewels & clothing, so spending it on the sub will definitely get to her.

I once took an action that shocked my wife after about a week of cold treatment which she was ignoring. Since then (3yrs +) we've not had a major issue. There's been minor issues that I'm able to ignore but generally we are good. My wife is generally a good wife by the way.

Whatever it is, avoid inviting a 3rd party.

safarifarms:
Depends. If it's the first time I believe a verbal expression of displeasure should do. Considering she's generally a good wife. If it's reoccurring that's when you should consider other measures and that also depends on your wife. What works in for one person may not work for another. I have a good wife too but she can also be stubborn at times and get on my nerves. My wife will ignore your silent treatment and act as though she is not bothered.

You may not have to deal with every occasion of disobedience if you have a generally respectful wife. You have to also learn tolerance. But should it be persistent you may consider denying or canceling something that she values so well. Like not subscribing to DSTV on time if she's so into it and you are not. You don't need to spell it out as it's punishment for that but just be nonchalant about it till she complains and you find a way to subtly get her to realize that displeasing you can make you not to care about pleasing her. But be sure not to deny her an essential that is usually your responsibility. If she has to use her money to subscribe it and act as though she wasn't bothered then you may need to do something more serious which I won't want to be the one suggesting one for you. But even if she subscribes and acts as if not bothered it's likely just a facade. Trust me, most Nigerian women would rather keep their money for Jewels & clothing, so spending it on the sub will definitely get to her.

I once took an action that shocked my wife after about a week of cold treatment which she was ignoring. Since then (3yrs +) we've not had a major issue. There's been minor issues that I'm able to ignore but generally we are good. My wife is generally a good wife by the way.

Whatever it is, avoid inviting a 3rd party.

You're smart, unlike me that gets angry lol

Samantha123:
If you have nothing better to say, do yourself a favor and shut up!!!

It's not our fault that you see all the females around you as failures and always generalizing them... You say you like the truth, but you always sound biased and bitter towards women.

Who said he must give the woman money for food and money to care for herself, but still not eat the food bought with his own money?

Once u hear something u dont agree with...u start to cry bias, bitterness, and attack against your entire gender.... cant someone just have a counter opinion anymore??

my comment had a context .....if u dont get it i am afraid i cannot help you if all u see is bias and bitterness....

u are all the same here, taking every petty statement personal and against ur gender... jeez!!! Its just a random topic on a faceless forum.... if u want to burst a nerve over petty talks u are free ma'am

Stop nagging like a lady and shut up!!!

advanceDNA:
Once u hear something u dont agree with...u start to cry bias, bitterness, and attack against your entire gender.... cant someone just have a counter opinion anymore??

my comment had a context .....if u dont get it i am afraid i cannot help you if all u see is bias and bitterness....

u are all the same here, taking every petty statement personal and against ur gender... jeez!!! Its just a random topic on a faceless forum.... if u want to burst a nerve over petty talks u are free ma'am

Rechargeam247:
Scenario:

You have a good marriage, you pamper and take care of your wife, family and responsibilities.

On this particular day, your wife wanted to travel for an event, you asked her not to go for this particular event, kindly note, she is very social and travels a lot, you allow her, give her the freedom she needs.

Now, she ignored you and travelled, what can you do to express your displeasure, get her to apologise and avoid a repetition of such?

Creative solutions asides sex or money should be proferred

Married men and women only*

To the women, if you were the woman in this scenario, what can your husband do to get you to apologise and make you not repeat such?

Dialogue...talking about it is what you should be doing. All these suggestions of silent treatment, sending her to he father's house is just petty especially for a marriage that is probably almost 2 decades old.

Did you tell her the reason you didn't want her to travel or you just said she shouldn't go without a reason? Nevertheless, she should have shown some respect.

Your wife is not a kid. There has to be a way you both communicate and find a common ground for issues like this.

Samantha123:
Stop nagging like a lady and shut up!!!

Whats this about exactly..... ?? U sound like its more than a nairaland comment..... i must have struck a nerve ...

Shut up!!!

advanceDNA:
Whats this about exactly..... ?? U sound like its more than a nairaland comment..... i must have struck a nerve ...