CrownedPhoenix:


What are some of the spiritual works ?

It was a combination of things...
For example, I prayed for 4 years before she came into my life.
But, BEFORE that, I lived my life in a certain way.
While dating, I never treated any girlfriend as if we were merely dating. Each was given all the treatment I would give to a wife.
In doing so, I gathered TONS of experience on how to read/treat a wife.
Most guys miss that learning opportunity while dating.
They take dating for dating sake, instead of as marriage.
Any failed dating relationship, for me, was actually a failed marriage, for me.
So, when the real one showed up, I didn't even date her. lol
She just fit somehow, tapping deeply into my years of experience with other women I "date/married". lol .
Strange stuff.
Thing is that, all my spiritual approaches/methods paid off when I least expected.
Spirituality is not only about praying. It is about practicing the golden rule and really living a life that cares for others.
God then forces good stuff on you whether you want it or not!

Lionessza6:


What you're mostly likely going to get is a woman that's *ready* for marriage like yourself,who mostly likely will marry any man that offers himself to her . And there are a lot of dangers to that ; she ain't marrying you ,she's marrying the idea of marriage and when problems come knocking at your doorstep (and they will),that is when you will know the difference between marriage and a wedding . Anyways, good luck with your search for a wife.

That is exactly who he is looking for, to get someone like himself. Who is ready in all the parameters he listed.
You can't hide your true self in a relationship, except the other person just want to be in denial, which is what we do most of the times I believe you inclusive.
If you don't set what you want in a marriage before embarking on it, you will just marry any woman or man just for marry sake.
I don't know what you guys discussed in relationships or you guys just focused on spending, sexing, shopping etc.
Well the OP is right with his assertion. If you as a lady don't learn from this, You will just be jumping from one guy to the other.

sweetman2022:

That is exactly who he is looking for, to get someone like himself. Who is ready in all the parameters he listed.
You can't hide your true self in a relationship, except the other person just want to be in denial, which is what we do most of the times I believe you inclusive.
If you don't set what you want in a marriage before embarking on it, you will just marry any woman or man just for marry sake.
I don't know what you guys discussed in relationships or you guys just focused on spending, sexing, shopping etc.
Well the OP is right with his assertion. If you as a lady don't learn from this, You will just be jumping from one guy to the other.

That lady still don't get it. If I meet a lady now, within two weeks the kind of discussion I will have with you alone, will show me your personality and mentality. Like you ask her, I don't know what they do in relationships but I guess you are right, they just sex their life out.
That is why she and a guy above believe you have to date a lady 2 years or 5 years before knowing those key ingredients about her.

Lionessza6:


What you're mostly likely going to get is a woman that's *ready* for marriage like yourself,who mostly likely will marry any man that offers himself to her . And there are a lot of dangers to that ; she ain't marrying you ,she's marrying the idea of marriage and when problems come knocking at your doorstep (and they will),that is when you will know the difference between marriage and a wedding . Anyways, good luck with your search for a wife.

Let me open your eyes to something, once you are ready for marriage. Make sure sex is the least on your items. With that you will see the true self of the person within a short term. You can have sex if you want but don't make it a priority. And don't allow spending on you to cloud your reasoning too. Wit this two alone, you will know who he truly is within a short time.

justmyguy:
I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I have planned my marriage for this year, being that I have a stable job, side business, matured 30+ and I am ready mentally and spiritually.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month then we marry and live a happy life.
I don't want to date someone I can't marry so I am being careful with the female friends I have now.
I need a matured woman, working class and also ready to settle down.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

Just calm down, you will get a lady but just don't tell her it's about marriage

Watch the relationship grow and then you can talk about marriage

But bear in mind that there is no perfect woman same way there is no perfect man

But with love and patience, you guys can sail smoothly

onumadu:

You atheists lack at least 50% of "common sense" in the sense that you only think that the world is purely physical.

A sign of common sense is also the ability to make a statement without sweeping generalisation, you seem to lack this going by the above

Even some of the best scientists in top research facilities in the world also believe in the supernatural.

Tesla is regarded to be one of the best scientists ever and even he had several nonsensical beliefs like refusing to lodge in rooms who's numbers aren't divisible by 2, he also believed he had a romantic relationship with a pigeon and refused to have relationship with women.
Point is it doesn't matter what bullshit they believe so long they don't allow that to interfere with their duties which is why there might be cosmologists and theoretical physicists who are Christians.

Lol. Just trust God for all your heart desires. The right woman will come.

justmyguy:

Well that means she is not ready like I am , so no need to continue dating.
I know I am ready mentally, spiritually, emotional and financially.
So if she is not in this position yet, then we are not set to be.

You keep mentioning spiritual but you no wan pray, you no dey go church. Which angle do you practice your spirituality? Can you clarify us on that?

justmyguy:
I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I have planned my marriage for this year, being that I have a stable job, side business, matured 30+ and I am ready mentally and spiritually.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month then we marry and live a happy life.
I don't want to date someone I can't marry so I am being careful with the female friends I have now.
I need a matured woman, working class and also ready to settle down.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

Vijuchoco:
Me too o, I'm targeting this year

Problem solved

JOACHINpedro:

Problem solved

I'm ready for the party

JOACHINpedro:

Problem solved

Lol.. I expected such a response

justmyguy:

Unfortunately I am not the church type. I go to church occasionally now. I stopped taking them serious few years ago. So that place is a no go area.
I don't even like ladies that are attached to their pastors let alone I will go and ask my pastor.

Inform your parents and close friends about it. They might know one

Getting married is every gals dream, check ur self if u are dating ladies and they say they are not ready for marriage, bro something is wrong with u.
Is either u have attitude problem or u are tight fisted.
Bro. If u are ok and mature any lady u dated for 2 months will take in for u without proposing.

MissTemi1:
Lol. Just trust God for all your heart desires. The right woman will come. And everyone of us looking for a good partner,God will do it

Okay, thanks and Amen

olar2g:
Getting married is every gals dream, check ur self if u are dating ladies and they say they are not ready for marriage, bro something is wrong with u.
Is either u have attitude problem or u are tight fisted.
Bro. If u are ok and mature any lady u dated for 2 months will take in for u without proposing.

So you believe now that any lady you date first will be the one you get married to? Use yourself as an example so that I can understand better. I am waiting for your reply

Divay22:

I'm ready for the party

Which party? Did one that is yet to start..nawa ooo

mylove4God:


Inform your parents and close friends about it. They might know one

Well I have done so already.

JOACHINpedro:

Problem solved

For poke nosing , know that she won't go further even if she wants to before.

justmyguy:

Which party? Did one that is yet to start..nawa ooo

You're taken na abi

justmyguy:

For poke nosing , know that she won't go further even if she wants to before.

What will be will be

I pray you get a good wife and not one that is still connected to her ex or that has a bestie or a hookup girl.

onumadu:


He can marry without praying first, of course. Duh!
Heck he can do whatever he wants! lol

You atheists lack at least 50% of "common sense" in the sense that you only think that the world is purely physical.
Even some of the best scientists in top research facilities in the world also believe in the supernatural.

As for the second bolded, you jumped the gun without reading my second comment about what a pastor told me when I was looking.

I need to say this because I have benefited from the information in the advice I'm giving here.

Some people out there are busy looking (breaking their heads physically) for a virtuous wife.
Some are even desperately looking for VIRGINS and all that. lol
Some of us got ALL THAT AND MORE with minimal physical work, but "decent" spiritual work.

The funny thing is that a virgin got thrown into my lap after I had avoided virgins all my young life!
I only married her because she hid the fact that she was a virgin until after our marriage rites. I told her that if she had told me that she was a virgin, I would have run away and not marry her because I needed "an experienced woman" for wife.
Well, God thought otherwise!
That is the essence of praying before marrying. Today, I understand better, hence my advice here.

This response is to all the YOUNG MEN out here trying to find and settle with a GOOD WIFE.

A GOOD WIFE is not perfect, because she is still a human being.

A GOOD WIFE is one that will walk the journey of life with a man without reducing him either physically or spiritually.


She will bring IMPROVEMENT rather than DEMOTION to her husband.

Please tell me the ways to pray to get a good wife. I didn't know finding a good wife is this hard until I started searching. During those days I was play boy, I was getting tons of girls but now I want to marry, I can't find a woman and have started wondering if this is spiritual.

africanman85:
Please tell me the ways to pray to get a good wife. I didn't know finding a good wife is this hard until I started searching. During those days I was play boy, I was getting tons of girls but now I want to marry, I can't find a woman and have started wondering if this is spiritual.

Firstly, how long have you been looking?
Not that time matters too much, but it would help give a perspective about your mindset about the project.
If you are thinking in weeks or months, you are wrong. Think in years...
It doesn't mean it MUST take years to get a good wife; it just means that you will not be rushed into a wrong marriage.

As for how to approach the prayer part, first, stop being a "playboy". START PRACTICING GOLDEN RULE (do unto others as you would have others do to you) -> Pretend that you are woman and look back at the potential husband - YOU.
Date every next girl/woman as seriously as if she were already your wife.
Treat her as you would your wife.
Luckily for me, it was easy because I was already living that type of lifestyle before I actually started to "look for a wife".
Every woman I dated would have happily married me if I asked them, because I put in my best golden rule behavior:
Treated each as wife: IN .EVERY. WAY, except take them to the altar.
Once you do this, you suddenly stop meeting oloshos, slay queens, all the wrong women, because God (or nature or universe) will simply separate you and them. Only the wife materials will remain in your circle.
Reason? YOU CHOSE THEM INSTINCTIVELY BECAUSE THEY WERE WIFELY TO BEGIN WITH. And you deserve to have them in your circle because you practice the golden rule.
At that point, PRAYER starts to become effective.
Like I said, I avoided all virgins because I really needed a sexually experienced wife, but still ended up marrying a virgin because she hid it from me.
If I had insisted on sleeping with her before marriage, I probably would have discovered her virginity, and run away.
She was an exception though, because I believe in sex (ie consensual sex) before marriage.
I believe that, where possible, couples should "test" before marriage, because sex is the king of marriage dysfunction.
Better avoid incompatible person than end up in sexual hell inside marriage where everything goes wrong due to sexual incompatibility.
I just left her alone because she was reserved in every other way. So why force her?
If I were a woman, would I want a man to force me to have sex just because he may want to marry me? Nope.
That is how I viewed these things.
But because I left her alone and followed her cues (as long as I didn't see her misbehaving), it ended in marriage.

Sorry for the long post, but there are really no shorter answers.
Good luck.

Op Am equally in the same ship with you but slightly different. Make sure you look at family pattern I know you are not the religious type but don't ignore this. Men to find a good woman in Nigeria is very difficult.

onumadu:


Firstly, how long have you been looking?
Not that time matters too much, but it would help give a perspective about your mindset about the project.
If you are thinking in weeks or months, you are wrong. Think in years...
It doesn't mean it MUST take years to get a good wife; it just means that you will not be rushed into a wrong marriage.

As for how to approach the prayer part, first, stop being a "playboy". START PRACTICING GOLDEN RULE (do unto others as you would have others do to you) -> Pretend that you are woman and look back at the potential husband - YOU.
Date every next girl/woman as seriously as if she were already your wife.
Treat her as you would your wife.
Luckily for me, it was easy because I was already living that type of lifestyle before I actually started to "look for a wife".
Every woman I dated would have happily married me if I asked them, because I put in my best golden rule behavior:
Treated each as wife: IN .EVERY. WAY, except take them to the altar.
Once you do this, you suddenly stop meeting oloshos, slay queens, all the wrong women, because God (or nature or universe) will simply separate you and them. Only the wife materials will remain in your circle.
Reason? YOU CHOSE THEM INSTINCTIVELY BECAUSE THEY WERE WIFELY TO BEGIN WITH. And you deserve to have them in your circle because you practice the golden rule.
At that point, PRAYER starts to become effective.
Like I said, I avoided all virgins because I really needed a sexually experienced wife, but still ended up marrying a virgin because she hid it from me.
If I had insisted on sleeping with her before marriage, I probably would have discovered her virginity, and run away.
She was an exception though, because I believe in sex (ie consensual sex) before marriage.
I believe that, where possible, couples should "test" before marriage, because sex is the king of marriage dysfunction.
Better avoid incompatible person than end up in sexual hell inside marriage where everything goes wrong due to sexual incompatibility.
I just left her alone because she was reserved in every other way. So why force her?
If I were a woman, would I want a man to force me to have sex just because he may want to marry me? Nope.
That is how I viewed these things.
But because I left her alone and followed her cues (as long as I didn't see her misbehaving), it ended in marriage.

Sorry for the long post, but there are really no shorter answers.
Good luck.

Thank u for the writeup.
I started searching this year January.
The problem is that am not d outgoing type because I do programming jobs and always indoors. The ones I dated while in school, I don't see the qualities of a wife in them now that I know how things works because am now matured.
If I ask my mom or aunt to look for a wife for me, those girls will be wondering this kind person they are looking for a wife for are u sure something is not wrong with him.
When I was doing playboy stuff I was getting girls any how but now, if I see a girl that I feel will possess the qualities I need is either she is taken or not ready. I come dey reason if all this formal gals don carry my name go somewhere as I no dey to go church

africanman85:
Thank u for the writeup.
I started searching this year January.
The problem is that am not d outgoing type because I do programming jobs and always indoors. The ones I dated while in school, I don't see the qualities of a wife in them now that I know how things works because am now matured.
If I ask my mom or aunt to look for a wife for me, those girls will be wondering this kind person they are looking for a wife for are u sure something is not wrong with him.
When I was doing playboy stuff I was getting girls any how but now, if I see a girl that I feel will possess the qualities I need is either she is taken or not ready. I come dey reason if all this formal gals don carry my name go somewhere as I no dey to go church

Well, there is nothing wrong with idea of your mom or aunt helping you to scout for wife.
In fact, it is an excellent idea, because they are women themselves and know how to find wife material.
However, you must retain your non-negotiable wants-in-wife. Be uncompromising about it.

Don't worry about the girls wondering "what type of a man is ... what is wrong with him... Trust me that is the least of your problems.
ONCE YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A WOMAN (which is where my experience dating them became invaluable), then once you meet them after your mom or aunt found them, they would know that they met a husband material... introverted or not.

Unless you are not man enough (warning: women can smell such not-"enough- men" from miles away), then you may fail.
Once you know how to throw your MALE side and woo her with your masculine swag, she go fall.
Women are FEMALES. Most men forget this fact. To get them where you need them for whatever you need them: BE A MALE.
Be kind and caring, but be a male.
As long as she is a female, she would latch unto you like glue once she sees you are a good MAN.
Emphasis on that "Man".

When it comes to lifelong sex partner (which is what you would be to her), most women don't compromise. And when they appear to have compromised, they take their revenge later in the marriage by having sex (hence kids) for other MEN.
I see people condemning women who cheat on their husbands and have kids for other men.
Those people are kids and have no clue what a woman is.
God created them for reproduction -bring new life into this world. So, no male ego can stop that.
That is why when you finish eating a mango or orange and throw the seed carelessly on the ground, it still germinates and grow into a tree.
The woman is the ground (or earth). She is programmed to bring new life into this world.
And when the man in her life fail to sow the seed somehow, other men would sow it, and life continues.
Male ego has nothing on reproduction and continuation of the human species.

Sorry again for another long lecture, but I speak as I get inspiration.

onumadu:


Firstly, how long have you been looking?
Not that time matters too much, but it would help give a perspective about your mindset about the project.
If you are thinking in weeks or months, you are wrong. Think in years...
It doesn't mean it MUST take years to get a good wife; it just means that you will not be rushed into a wrong marriage.

As for how to approach the prayer part, first, stop being a "playboy". START PRACTICING GOLDEN RULE (do unto others as you would have others do to you) -> Pretend that you are woman and look back at the potential husband - YOU.
Date every next girl/woman as seriously as if she were already your wife.
Treat her as you would your wife.
Luckily for me, it was easy because I was already living that type of lifestyle before I actually started to "look for a wife".
Every woman I dated would have happily married me if I asked them, because I put in my best golden rule behavior:
Treated each as wife: IN .EVERY. WAY, except take them to the altar.
Once you do this, you suddenly stop meeting oloshos, slay queens, all the wrong women, because God (or nature or universe) will simply separate you and them. Only the wife materials will remain in your circle.
Reason? YOU CHOSE THEM INSTINCTIVELY BECAUSE THEY WERE WIFELY TO BEGIN WITH. And you deserve to have them in your circle because you practice the golden rule.
At that point, PRAYER starts to become effective.
Like I said, I avoided all virgins because I really needed a sexually experienced wife, but still ended up marrying a virgin because she hid it from me.
If I had insisted on sleeping with her before marriage, I probably would have discovered her virginity, and run away.
She was an exception though, because I believe in sex (ie consensual sex) before marriage.
I believe that, where possible, couples should "test" before marriage, because sex is the king of marriage dysfunction.
Better avoid incompatible person than end up in sexual hell inside marriage where everything goes wrong due to sexual incompatibility.
I just left her alone because she was reserved in every other way. So why force her?
If I were a woman, would I want a man to force me to have sex just because he may want to marry me? Nope.
That is how I viewed these things.
But because I left her alone and followed her cues (as long as I didn't see her misbehaving), it ended in marriage.

Sorry for the long post, but there are really no shorter answers.
Good luck.

Wow nice lecture. Pls can u talk more on this "ONCE YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A WOMAN (which is where my experience dating them became invaluable)" When u say been man enough, what do u mean in Ur own perspective ? If I meet a girl who seem not to be interested like after meeting we exchange numbers and I call her one or two times we talk and she didn't reciprocate and call me or chat me, I always dump the girl and look for another believing that she is not interested. Is this right ? I did this alot wen I was a playboy and I don't know if is right when searching for a life partner. I noticed is d ones I don't fancy much that keep disturbing. I equally notice that d one I want is d one everybody go want and be going after. Like wat happen last week, I met a girl in a pharmacy and d girl looks cool and down to earth we chatted and I collected her number and one nigga like that was seating o and didn't talk to her but ones d girl gave me her number and left I didn't know this guy followed her and blocked her on the way and was toasting her. It was when I purchased drugs and came out that I saw them and walked pass them. Of all d beautiful gals in d pharmacy o.

africanman85:
Please tell me the ways to pray to get a good wife. I didn't know finding a good wife is this hard until I started searching. During those days I was play boy, I was getting tons of girls but now I want to marry, I can't find a woman and have started wondering if this is spiritual.

Japa and race mix




Nigerian women are not worth it

justmyguy:
I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I have planned my marriage for this year, being that I have a stable job, side business, matured 30+ and I am ready mentally and spiritually.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month then we marry and live a happy life.
I don't want to date someone I can't marry so I am being careful with the female friends I have now.
I need a matured woman, working class and also ready to settle down.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

Go find one Olosho make you marry and stop Lamenting.

africanman85:
Wow nice lecture. Pls can u talk more on this "ONCE YOU KNOW HOW TO HANDLE A WOMAN (which is where my experience dating them became invaluable)" When u say been man enough, what do u mean in Ur own perspective ? If I meet a girl who seem not to be interested like after meeting we exchange numbers and I call her one or two times we talk and she didn't reciprocate and call me or chat me, I always dump the girl and look for another believing that she is not interested. Is this right ? [/b]I did this alot wen I was a playboy and I don't know if is right when searching for a life partner. [b]I noticed is d ones I don't fancy much that keep disturbing. I equally notice that d one I want is d one everybody go want and be going after. Like wat happen last week, I met a girl in a pharmacy and d girl looks cool and down to earth we chatted and I collected her number and one nigga like that was seating o and didn't talk to her but ones d girl gave me her number and left I didn't know this guy followed her and blocked her on the way and was toasting her. It was when I purchased drugs and came out that I saw them and walked pass them. Of all d beautiful gals in d pharmacy o.

What you describe above is typically what happens, but all hope is not lost, as long as you know how to play the game.
I'll share a real life story of how I handled such things "back in the day" when I was in Uni in Naija.
I attended one of those uni campuses that host only "professional courses".
In that campus, girls were verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry few.
In fact, the norm was for guys to go to other schools to look for girlfriends. Never from this our campus.
But guess what? I still had and kept a girlfriend there for three years before we graduated. And she was one of the most attractive babes on campus.
How did I manage to have her?
Good question!
Every dude on campus was chasing after her at every turn, but I still got, and KEPT her.
I don't want to waste time describing how I got her. I would rather say part of HOW I KEPT HER.
Because guys were always around, I MADE MYSELF SCARCE to her.
On her birthdays, I would show up with the biggest HAND MADE BIRTHDAY CARD (designed by myself). Go to her hostel, to her room, and present the card to her. Stayed one minute or so and disappeared for the whole day. She would leave my card among other cards, but my card stood out due to its side and originality.
In the evening, guess who she spent the night with? You guessed right. ME!
Why?
Because my card dwarfed all other cards in beauty, originality, and size.
And above all, I NEVER HUSTLED FOR HER.
And whenever I called her and she didn't answer for whatever reasons, I NEVER EVER called her again ... until she called me back to explain what happened.
Granted, this my strategy didn't work with some babes, but it worked with MOST.
Women are complex, but they are simple enough to understand that they need you to be a man through and through.
Always calling a girl, telling her you love her, sending gifts and cards when not necessary, and seeking her attention all the time is so FEMININE.
Every man has a feminine side, but if you want to snag and keep a real woman, you must snap out of your feminine side and put on your full masculine side.
That is what would separate you from the herd of men seeking her attention.
She would find you intriguing and mysterious, and hence EXCITING.
That is what hands you victory in these sex wars.