I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I have planned my marriage for this year, being that I have a stable job, side business, matured 30+ and I am ready mentally and spiritually.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month then we marry and live a happy life.
I don't want to date someone I can't marry so I am being careful with the female friends I have now.
I need a matured woman, working class and also ready to settle down.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

This will not be an easy feat for you to achieve because you can't really know someone until you date them and you said you want to marry whoever you date since all must fall into this year.

sweetman2022:
This will not be an easy feat for you to achieve because you can't really know someone until you date them and you said you want to marry whoever you date since all must fall into this year.

I know it won't be easy but is it possible?

Meet your pastor to connect you to a sister in your church. Or you can tell your friends and family that you're looking for a wife, if they see anyone interested they should connect both of you . lol

Pls,avoid a liability.

And also check the background of the lady u are about dating for marriage.

Do not let anyone deceive u oh that it does not matter.

Background checks is vital before any other thing.

Duchessree:
Meet your pastor to connect you to a sister in your church. Or you can tell your friends and family that you're looking for a wife, if they see anyone interested they should connect both of you . lol

Unfortunately I am not the church type. I go to church occasionally now. I stopped taking them serious few years ago. So that place is a no go area.
I don't even like ladies that are attached to their pastors let alone I will go and ask my pastor.

ibechris:
Pls,avoid a liability.

And also check the background of the lady u are about dating for marriage.

Do not let anyone deceive u oh that it does not matter.

Background checks is vital before any other thing.

What level of background are u recommending?
Atleast knowing her parents, siblings and few friends should be enough.
Or are u suggesting something else?

Mould one.Nl boys said good women finished after their mothers' generation.

Duchessree:
Meet your pastor to connect you to a sister in your church. Or you can tell your friends and family that you're looking for a wife, if they see anyone interested they should connect both of you . lol

Back when I was looking, and met a pastor along your line of advice. The pastor (a real man of God) told me to stop looking only in the churches. In fact he strongly advised me to cast my net "out there more".
There was something he knew that I didn't know.
Enuff said.

@OP, here's my advice:

Step 1: PRAY for sometime for a wife. I mean do spiritual work first. It may take a few days, weeks, months or even years. Do it nevertheless
Step 2: LOOK and LISTEN: Because you did the first step well, you will SEE her and KNOW that she is the one.
Step 3: Once you see and know her, ACT with faith ;i;e marry her.

No wife is perfect, but the steps above will bring you a wife that will definitely improve your life.

Good luck in your hunt!

justmyguy:

I know it won't be easy but is it possible?

Yes it is possible.

onumadu:
@OP, here's my advice:

Step 1: PRAY for sometime for a wife. I mean do spiritual work first. It may take a few days, weeks, months or even years. Do it nevertheless
Step 2: LOOK and LISTEN: Because you did the first step well, you will SEE her and KNOW that she is the one.
Step 3: Once you see and know her, ACT with faith ;i;e marry her.

No wife is perfect, but the steps above will bring you a wife that will definitely improve your life.

Good luck in your hunt!

Well I can relate with this, thanks

Ulunne777:
Mould one.Nl boys said good women finished after their mothers' generation.

Ofcos there are good women out there even when they are few today.

onumadu:
@OP, here's my advice:

Step 1: PRAY for sometime for a wife. I mean do spiritual work first. It may take a few days, weeks, months or even years. Do it nevertheless
Step 2: LOOK and LISTEN: Because you did the first step well, you will SEE her and KNOW that she is the one.
Step 3: Once you see and know her, ACT with faith ;i;e marry her.

No wife is perfect, but the steps above will bring you a wife that will definitely improve your life.

Good luck in your hunt!

So if he doesn't pray, he won't see a wife to marry?

Well he is a Nigerian and just like every Nigerian, I guess the first thing he needs to do is talk to his pastor.

This country is funny aswear.

JeffreyJunior:
So if he doesn't pray, he won't see a wife to marry?

Well he is a Nigerian and just like every Nigerian, I guess the first thing he needs to do is talk to his pastor.

This country is funny aswear.

Funny people

A man wants to marry he will go and meet another man to choose a wife for him just because he calls himself pastor

justmyguy:
I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month .... then we marry and live a happy life.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

Your first problem. They don't date. Before you approach somebody, you should have been sure of the person. Better remove any former Nigerian mentality from your head.

1. Make a list of four, five qualities you must have in a spouse.
2. Pray and fast 9 days. 40 days if you can (Lent is by the corner).
3. Marry the first person that so suits (1). Arrange marriages work, talkless of ...

Beware of any former Nigerian mentality.

justmyguy:
I ended my last relationship last year because the girl I was dating was not ready for marriage in all ramifications.
I have planned my marriage for this year, being that I have a stable job, side business, matured 30+ and I am ready mentally and spiritually.
I want to meet a woman and date her for at least four month then we marry and live a happy life.
I don't want to date someone I can't marry so I am being careful with the female friends I have now.
I need a matured woman, working class and also ready to settle down.
What is the best way you will advise me to go about it?

You want to date for 4months snd marry after just FOUR MONTHS of dating and you are supposed to be a 30year old?.

SMDH!

MUMU.

JeffreyJunior:
So if he doesn't pray, he won't see a wife to marry?

Well he is a Nigerian and just like every Nigerian, I guess the first thing he needs to do is talk to his pastor.

This country is funny aswear.

He can marry without praying first, of course. Duh!
Heck he can do whatever he wants! lol

You atheists lack at least 50% of "common sense" in the sense that you only think that the world is purely physical.
Even some of the best scientists in top research facilities in the world also believe in the supernatural.

As for the second bolded, you jumped the gun without reading my second comment about what a pastor told me when I was looking.

I need to say this because I have benefited from the information in the advice I'm giving here.

Some people out there are busy looking (breaking their heads physically) for a virtuous wife.
Some are even desperately looking for VIRGINS and all that. lol
Some of us got ALL THAT AND MORE with minimal physical work, but "decent" spiritual work.

The funny thing is that a virgin got thrown into my lap after I had avoided virgins all my young life!
I only married her because she hid the fact that she was a virgin until after our marriage rites. I told her that if she had told me that she was a virgin, I would have run away and not marry her because I needed "an experienced woman" for wife.
Well, God thought otherwise!
That is the essence of praying before marrying. Today, I understand better, hence my advice here.

This response is to all the YOUNG MEN out here trying to find and settle with a GOOD WIFE.

A GOOD WIFE is not perfect, because she is still a human being.

A GOOD WIFE is one that will walk the journey of life with a man without reducing him either physically or spiritually.


She will bring IMPROVEMENT rather than DEMOTION to her husband.

Skyview01:


You want to date for 4months snd marry after just FOUR MONTHS of dating and you are supposed to be a 30year old?.

SMDH!

So with all your experience in dating for over multiple years you have not learnt your lessons about the main ingredient of relationship.
Well I have dated ladies over two years and learnt that I can actually know the necessary details I actually need within 3 to 5 months. Every other time we spend together was just frivolously and a waste of time for both parties.
Ofcos you can never know everything about a person no matter how long you spent with them.
But when it comes to marriage, like someone said above, I just need to know the most important things about her and four months is enough to get those details.
I have seen so many wasted their years in unfruitful relationship.
So pls don't keep someone's daughter captive in the name of relationship, and later dump her just to start from afresh again after four years or more together.

NigerianAngelo:


Your first problem. They don't date. Before you approach somebody, you should have been sure of the person. Better remove any former Nigerian mentality from your head.

1. Make a list of four, five qualities you must have in a spouse.
2. Pray and fast 9 days. 40 days if you can (Lent is by the corner).
3. Marry the first person that so suits (1). Arrange marriages work, talkless of ...

Beware of any former Nigerian mentality.

I currently have in view your number 1 and 3 but your number 2 is a no go area for me.

JeffreyJunior:
So if he doesn't pray, he won't see a wife to marry?

Well he is a Nigerian and just like every Nigerian, I guess the first thing he needs to do is talk to his pastor.

This country is funny aswear.

Meet my pastor kwe...I don't even have a Pastor. It is ignorant for anybody to believe their pastor must have a hand in finding their partner.

justmyguy:

So with all your experience in dating for over multiple years you have not learnt your lessons about the main ingredient of relationship.
Well I have dated ladies over two years and learnt that I can actually know the necessary details I actually need within 3 to 5 months. Every other time we spend together was just frivolously and a waste of time for both parties.
Ofcos you can never know everything about a person no matter how long you spent with them.
But when it comes to marriage, like someone said above, I just need to know the most important things about her and four months is enough to get those details.
I have seen so many wasted their years in unfruitful relationship.
So pls don't keep someone's daughter captive in the name of relationship, and later dump her just to start from afresh again after four years or more together.

Ok, date for one month, Jump into marriage, and come back on Niraland's family section with sob stories.

It is not enough to just want to marry.
Are you ready to be committed to one person for life?
Do you think you can stay without cheating?

Make sure you're ready mentally, spiritually and emotionally otherwise... Hm.

Your best bet is still the house of God. Of course I know there are pretenders but you'll know them and can tell a real decent girl when you see one. Anything outside the church is worse because don't be deceived, it's a hookup girl you are going to end up with. Trust me.

justmyguy:

What level of background are u recommending?
Atleast knowing her parents, siblings and few friends should be enough.
Or are u suggesting something else?

Know her family and the types of friends she keeps.

Me too o, I'm targeting this year

This sounds scary . It's like you're looking for a robot to marry ;you've made all ths planning for the future relationship even before you've consulted the potential partner . So what if you meet somebody you like and she wants to get married after a year or two ?. Relationships aren't about one party,that's why it's called a relationship, so you've got to be accommodating to someone else's dreams and goals as well.

Lionessza6:
This sounds scary . It's like you're looking for a robot to marry ;you've made all ths planning for the future relationship even before you've consulted the potential partner . So what if you meet somebody you like and she wants to get married after a year or two ?. Relationships aren't about one party,that's why it's called a relationship, so you've got to be accommodating to someone else's dreams and goals as well.

Well that means she is not ready like I am , so no need to continue dating.
I know I am ready mentally, spiritually, emotional and financially.
So if she is not in this position yet, then we are not set to be.

Kajaard:


Know her family and the types of friends she keeps.

I have this in mind, thanks

justmyguy:

Well that means she is not ready like I am , so no need to continue dating.
I know I am ready mentally, spiritually, emotional and financially.
So if she is not in this position yet, then we are not set to be.

What you're mostly likely going to get is a woman that's *ready* for marriage like yourself,who mostly likely will marry any man that offers himself to her . And there are a lot of dangers to that ; she ain't marrying you ,she's marrying the idea of marriage and when problems come knocking at your doorstep (and they will),that is when you will know the difference between marriage and a wedding . Anyways, good luck with your search for a wife.

onumadu:



Some of us got ALL THAT AND MORE with minimal physical work, but "decent" spiritual work.

What are some of the spiritual works ?