FRANCISTOWN:

Lol, you sound like a real deal... You know? Nature does not have mercy on weaklings. It's either one gets even or one goes extinct.

You can always use the jungle as a point of reference. The weak are always the preys.

FRANCISTOWN:


We also need to let the OP know that he is not the only man going to thru this.
There are at least 60%(please don't quiver at the figures) married men going thru this phase, just that many are not bold enough to let it out while some are just purely ignorant. I saw a thread on Twitter today( don't know if I can still find it). According to the stat. Our of every 100 women(74) have committed Adultery.

Many married women are sleeping with other men. The actual problem is most men now find married women attractive and I don't know why. May be they believe they are less risky and can hide fornication unlike single ladies.

My own be say, divorce any wife who commits adultery

GeorgWashinton:
Thank you for these words of encouragement.

I will fast and see how it goes.

Make it dry fasting and midnight prayer for 21days, it will do the magic.

It's high time men started taking charge of spiritual aspect in the home..

FRANCISTOWN:

If we're waiting for the other side of the story which we both know will never be available... (at least, not on this same thread) The Man will never get the pieces of advice that he seeks

There is no way you can get any glimpse of the woman's side of the story from the way the man tells the story.

I see lots of emotional bias here.


He might even be the fault, but we cannot know it.
Just because he thinks he loves the woman so much.

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

The Lord help you Sir

Niceguy06:


He's taken care of his look to have more options. Women, even if she's married, cannot resist a good looking man . Fact. Doesn't matter if her husband give her the most attention and care in the world

Na so

frozen70:


Na so

You're supposed to be sleeping now. Isn't it 10Pm in Nigeria??

Niceguy06:



You're supposed to be sleeping now. Isn't it 10Pm in Nigeria??

Lol, no comment

frozen70:


Lol, no comment

God is good,
My brotherly advice, I pray you and any other that's going through this will sincerely adhere to it.

If saving your marriage is your goal now, that means you'll do anything to ensure its saved. Okay, settle with your God first concerning your ways, sincerely talk to the holy spirit about your struggles, and finally find and carefully Watch the movie "Fire proof" and prayerfully follow the instructions.

Know this, that the devil is cunning but it's not wise, we're the children of wisdom, so let's be wise like it father in heaven.

God bless your home.

pattybf:


Make it dry fasting and midnight prayer for 21days, it will do the magic.

It's high time men started taking charge of spiritual aspect in the home..

LoL. I see whatcha doing there. You're giving this man the same advise society used to give to women when their husband cheat on them.

BRATISLAVA:


The Lord hates divorce, but you need to see what men of the day are turning the holy institution of marriage into. This is a man who should hold his house together as the head and priest. But instead he's online selling fantasy to his viewers.

He needs to watch the War Room and figure out that he is under siege from the devil and pray his way out of marital deterioration. He needs to upgrade his physical approach to loving his wife and become more caring. All these online tales aren't helping them stay together.

So true my dear...

So many marriages were intact until it was exposed to the evil called social media.
It's so unfortunate.

canDy4eva:



So true my dear...

So many marriages were intact until it was exposed to the evil called social media.
It's so unfortunate.

Funny thing is that he will listen to advise from teenagers and married men who want him to hate his wife and end the marriage so that they can prove a point.

All the media dirty laundry washing won't help him one bit . Plus we need to hear the side of the wife in his tale.

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Women capitalise on your weakness. It’s natural they can’t help it. If you beg a woman to stay , you are adding more salt to injury, Do like you no send , you go see wonder

BluntCrazeMan:
There is no way you can get any glimpse of the woman's side of the story from the way the man tells the story.

I see lots of emotional bias here.


He might even be the fault, but we cannot know it.
Just because he thinks he loves the woman so much.

He might or not be at fault, but obviously he is the one with most burnt. You know how egoistical we men are. For a man who is in his 40s or 50s(deduced from the story) to come to a public forum like this. You should know he is pained (that's if the story was genuine and not to get some cheap 'ttention trick) . With my years of experience , I've understood that , wives are 80% cause of every failed marriage especially if they were more successful than the husband. I've heard women's confessions, I've seen things. I know this stat is up for a debate. But the truth is 80% of married women cheat on their husbands. 20 out of that 80 are caught, 30 will start misbehaving, while the other 20 will cheat so neat without raising suspicions(This is the one that the husband trusts with his life). Women can't kill their hypergamous nature. Even if the women shared her side of the story, I still won't believe her even if she cried a river. I can never , I repeat, never believe a woman. I'd be stupid to do that.

BRATISLAVA:


Funny thing is that he will listen to advise from teenagers and married men who want him to hate his wife and end the marriage so that they can prove a point.

All the media dirty laundry washing won't help him one bit . Plus we need to hear the side of the wife in his tale.

Akwana? Did you bother to hear the side of Devil's story or you just believe God's side?

Sometimes , the other side of the story is a lie.

occfx:


Many married women are sleeping with other men. The actual problem is most men now find married women attractive and I don't know why. May be they believe they are less risky and can hide fornication unlike single ladies.

My own be say, divorce any wife who commits adultery

Correct! Most married women no go bill them, and them no get need fear for pregnancy plus most married women dey very caring die! Them Sabi cook join. I dey see some people dey tell the man make he fast and pray for 21days? 21 what? I no fit laugh. Even if I go fast and pray(which I no fit do), e go be on top useful things. Make I come dey pursue woman,shey I mad ni?

SPAMBOX7:
You can always use the jungle as a point of reference. The weak are always the preys.

Live!

FRANCISTOWN:


He might or not be at fault, but obviously he is the one with most burnt. You know how egoistical we men are. For a man who is in his 40s or 50s(deduced from the story) to come to a public forum like this. You should know he is pained (that's if the story was genuine and not to get some cheap 'ttention trick) . With my years of experience , I've understood that , wives are 80% cause of every failed marriage especially if they were more successful than the husband. I've heard women's confessions, I've seen things. I know this stat is up for a debate. But the truth is 80% of married women cheat on their husbands. 20 out of that 80 are caught, 30 will start misbehaving, while the other 20 will cheat so neat without raising suspicions(This is the one that the husband trusts with his life). Women can't kill their hypergamous nature. Even if the women shared her side of the story, I still won't believe her even if she cried a river. I can never , I repeat, never believe a woman. I'd be stupid to do that.

Ok.
So based on the story of the man, what are your deductions.??
And what should he do next?

FRANCISTOWN:


Correct! Most married women no go bill them, and them no get need fear for pregnancy plus most married women dey very caring die! Them Sabi cook join. I dey see some people dey tell the man make he fast and pray for 21days? 21 what? I no fit laugh. Even if I go fast and pray(which I no fit do), e go be on top useful things. Make I come dey pursue woman,shey I mad ni?

Yes, the case above may be some of the reasons but I see men who spend more just to sleep with a married woman. The worst is whenever the woman is caught and divorced, they too will japa. Either they don't like the responsibility of keeping a woman whole or another reason I don't know. Immediately, the woman returns single, the men lose interest. That is why you see a lot of single toxic mothers roaming the streets. They get damaged and left alone.

BRATISLAVA:


God will not give him another woman because this woman is his wife. Unless you and your god suddenly became lovers of divorce. He should reconcile with his wife, pray hard, brush his teeth and hit the gym.

You tell him to depend on God, get he should not pray and become the spiritual head of his home?

It's good it's just a tale, otherwise some of you will destroy the marriage of another man while reasoning carnally.

I said depend on God, it means pray to God do the duties to the wife. Even Jesus said not as I will but as thou will.
Pray and expect the will of God.
If Human wan move funny make them move.
God will always fulfill your needs and fill you with gratitude

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Mtchewww.

Oga, why are doing this? Why are you disgracing us like this?

What will happen if she leaves you? Na all this one dey make una dey die? Just because of woman...

Oga, nothing stays or lasts forever...I no say make you no love o, but your wellbeing comes first.

If anything do you, life go, go on for that woman.

Instead of you to discreetly find proof of her cheating and send her away, you are there sulking that she wants to leave you....so what?

Abeg, shift first, na how to get cash be my issue now!

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Did you marry her a virgin. If you didn't, there is the possibility that there is an ex lurking around. Okafor's law is real.

tommy589:
You've lost her already.

Women make references to how their men relate with them when gisting.in your own case her gist mates have confirmed you are blindly in love and she's free to get away with anything.

It is a painful decision but it is going to get worst if you don't let her go

Thats right. You couldn't have said it any better.

GeorgWashinton:
My marriage has suddenly been plagued by sadness and sorrow.

I'm married for ten years now and my marriage has yielded us two beautiful kids. But my wife has just suddenly changed. She doesn't cook for me and the kids any more. She comes back from work late sometimes by 9pm. She picks calls at odd hours and sometimes doesn't let me hear or understand the conversation. I complained but she said I was insecure and that nothing is wrong.

Few weeks ago I found a love letter she wrote but undated and nameless. She said she wrote it for me. I was heartbroken because I know for a fact that it was not for me.

My wife is threatening to divorce me citing that I'm maltreating her which was purely a lie and a false pretext to leave me.

I love my wife and wouldn't want her to leave me, how do I build back my home to how it was? I seriously need my wife by my side and the peace restored.

Lies wee not Kee you.
To show you re lieing.
Who still writes love letter these days on piece of paper when you could comfortably send text messages to express how you feel


Make una try stop all these fake stories,it makes nairaland borrrrrrrrrring

FRANCISTOWN:

Akwana? Did you bother to hear the side of Devil's story or you just believe God's side?

Sometimes , the other side of the story is a lie.

There was a case like this on the forum. The husband came here to tell us all that he was emasculated by his wife. For 35 pages people lampooned women, insulted the hell out of the wife. This guy was happily enjoying the way people swallowed his side of the story.

Then the wife got wind of it, and she told her side of the story. That emasculated mean came out to tell all readers that he was lying, that he made up things so that the responses would favor him. He admitted that everything he said was untrue. Then he deactivated.

Most sides of the story told by men here are lies. Until the wife comes to tell us her side of it, nobody should believe it. It's probably a paid story to generate clicks.

My Guy, these are part of the things we faced when we were still doing girlfriend and boyfriend those days...The truth is in a marriage with two kids, if your wife is seeing another man, that means you have issues to deal with spiritually and physically. Do not let it disturb you mentally otherwise it will affect your Job and remember you have kids to take care of. Let me give you a radical advice, if you can fight for your marriage spiritually, please do, if you cant, hack her phone, get to know who she is speaking with and get the details. Be prepared for the worst and best things to come, mind you ensure you also get a younger sweet16 as a girlfriend that can replace her, if she finally decides to go las las. She go come back soon, crying, begging and you will let her know she cant be a wife again to you but a woman friend since she as vacated the wife position. Someone else already took it, but because of her kids keep her by the side, far away from your home. Jah bless, be wise, dont let any woman play on your mature brain. Next time, love with your brain, leave emotions by the side, so that as she they plan to Bleep up you dey show her your other mad side too. Cheers!

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BluntCrazeMan:
Ok.
So based on the story of the man, what are your deductions.??
And what should he do next?

I, myself I do not know what exactly will work best for his relationship. Because there is no direct principle to life. What works for Mr. A may /not work for Mr. B . But I sure do know what he shouldn't do.
° The devil is not attacking his marriage (people need to stop blaming the devil for everything)
° He should understand that marriage is not a do or die (if he's scared of loneliness at old age, what if his wife died before him? Tomorrow is greater then everyone so no one knows it)
° He should not fast and pray about anything (If fasting and praying and sekrebaba could resolve marital issues. Kathryn Kuma, Kenneth Copeland,Rev. Okafor, Rev. Oyakhilome wouldnt all go thru divorce) after fasting and praying, and the marriage still doesn't work out, that may lead him to atheism.
° He I repeat, he should never ever beg the woman to stay with him( he may end up killing himself)

One thing people should know is that, marriage is 50/50 . Not everyone will have a successful marital life (you cannot pray for it, you cannot wish it, you cannot work it) it falls on you by chance.

My candid advice. If he can afford DNA, let him run a DNA on the kids, if he can't afford DNA. Let him move out of the house. If the house was his. For his sanity and mental health let him get himself a small place, where he can introspect. One thing he should be sure of is. Nothing is certain in life( there is no certainty anyone will live long... Even death is not certain, because what if death in this life means being rebirth into another life

occfx:


Yes, the case above may be some of the reasons but I see men who spend more just to sleep with a married woman. The worst is whenever the woman is caught and divorced, they too will japa. Either they don't like the responsibility of keeping a woman whole or another reason I don't know. Immediately, the woman returns single, the men lose interest. That is why you see a lot of single toxic mothers roaming the streets. They get damaged and left alone.

Lol! I no fit laugh. People derive joy from absurd things. I swr what you said up there is true. Very true, but many women are too ignorant to understand

CoolAmbience:

Mtchewww.
Oga, why are doing this? Why are you disgracing us like this?
What will happen if she leaves you? Na all this one dey make una dey die? Just because of woman...
Oga, nothing stays or lasts forever...I no say make you no love o, but your wellbeing comes first.
If anything do you, life go, go on for that woman.
Instead of you to discreetly find proof of her cheating and send her away, you are there sulking that she wants to leave you....so what?
Abeg, shift first, na how to get cash be my issue now!

These are the kinds of issues reserved for you, after getting the cash. You will go thru it to see if it's that easy as you've posed it to be...(Only a Redpiller, A misogynist or a MGTOW) will be saved. Respect The Game. Just joking though

BRATISLAVA:

There was a case like this on the forum. The husband came here to tell us all that he was emasculated by his wife. For 35 pages people lampooned women, insulted the hell out of the wife. This guy was happily enjoying the way people swallowed his side of the story.
Then the wife got wind of it, and she told her side of the story. That emasculated mean came out to tell all readers that he was lying, that he made up things so that the responses would favor him. He admitted that everything he said was untrue. Then he deactivated.
Most sides of the story told by men here are lies. Until the wife comes to tell us her side of it, nobody should believe it. It's probably a paid story to generate clicks.

First of all, we don't use a case for einstein generalisation. We can't say because a case such as the one you've narrated up there happened, then everyone who comes on here to spill it all out is lying. No. You said the man was enjoying the insults and bashings on the 35 pages. How does that affect reality? If anyone came on here with a well cooked lie, the highest thing he can get is to get high on the comments, after closing his browser he will fall back to reality (so who is fooling who). And again, since we need to hear both sides of the story to be sure. I'll also like to see the link to the thread, or the man and woman involved in that story up there to assert that truly such thing happened on Nairaland. Since you just advised us not to believe one side of the story