₦airaland Forum

Sheandi:
Oduduwa Republic o

??

Na wa o.

Sheandi:
I met her in church. She seem decent, godly and respectful. She seem like one who wants to serve God (Which attracted me) but, hindered by survival. So, I tried to help and guide her to better life like a youth pastor would do but, she fell in love. Love beclouded her that she didn't even consider the solutions I was bringing for her and after much hell from her people, we got married. Marriage was a huge mess as she was never available whether emotionally, spirituly or even physically. She was so lost in her job that nothing else mattered in the whole of life. Even though I don't earn much, I could meet our needs alone. She seem agreeable and contented while we courted but, immediately we got married, she became someone else. she now wants the world, especially things we do not need. Although, I saw certain red flags while we courted like terrible lies, disrespect for elders, spendthrift, undue quietness, too busy and so on. But as marriage came in, she became a big mess with lots of concentrated and baseless lies, uncultured or unethical hardworking and hard life, infidelity, stealing from work, disregard for the things of God, disregard for time, no time for self, husband or even children. It was so bad I had to be carrying 2 months old baby about as she dumped her on me the moment her maternity leave was over. I forgot to mention that she works a shift job and she does night like 3 or 4 times a week. She works on Sundays to, so she hardly comes to church. It was so bad I have to carry baby to her at work for breastfeeding. I did everything possible to get her another job or business but she frustrated it. She later became very toxic and harmful and she has the backing of her people who I believe wants to ruin her and she does not know or maybe she does not care.
In the midst of all these trouble, I was still loving her like the only woman in the world, while she treats me like shit, locks me outside, wont cook or clean the house, became very disrespectful and insubordinate.
If you think I didn't try please let me know. I tried to calm her and seek an amicable way to resolve things but she kept pushing me away till I no longer feel safe with her. It became scary eating her food or sleeping in this same room as I learnt an adulterous woman will either kill her husband or herself. And since she's enjoying her infidelity, she might kill me, so i excused myself for some days hoping when i return she would feel some remorse and we would resolve things but I was wrong. She wanted me out of the house and her life the night I returned. In the process of the short fracas, she started rough handling me and I hard to spank her to calm the situation but to my surprise, she ran inside the room, I thought she was going to throw my things out or pick something to injure me but she came out with an obvious wound on her forehead, claiming I tried stab her and before you know it, I was in the police cell headed for prison. Luckily for me, God reveals all that she did or was planning. So, I got revelations from men of God of how she wants to send me to prison with the help of her people.
My concern now is, how do I help the children out of her grip and how do I help someone who is in love with her demons delivered. I don't encourage divorce. As a matter of fact I'm a happy-marriage crusader. And haven been separate for 3 years now, I can't see any remorse or repentance in her.
Children are still young, 6 years old boy, 4 years old boy and 3 years old girl. None of her family as showed any concern and she has so much despised my own family and the church. I recently found out she has strong narcissistic traits. My possible flaws or error as no man is perfect; my income is small but can cater for us; I may be too God minded for her liking; I so much want us to progress together and she wants to walk alone; I send not sufficient upkeep for children based on my current financial status; I want to raise a godly family but she wants us to be an anyhow family; while trying to love her more, she's continually wicked to me. During festive period one year, I wanted to surprise her with a car and was putting the car in order while my wife was busy preparing to send me to prison. I'm a dropout, she has a masters; I'm a moralist but, she wants to be with dreads, sagging and maybe smokers. But if you meet her, she be like Jesus' younger sister.
What do you advice I do friends ?
I'm sorry it's long experience of about 7 years. Too much to write

Your issue comes from your last paragraph. You are a drop out. What are you doing to upgrade? I am sorry she has no respect for you because of your status not really about your finances. Women love security and they so much believe in the security that higher education brings.
Also, try to balance things in terms of fun. For example, to spice up things in the house I play a lot of naija jams. Because of the lyrics I tend to play the instrumentals which put my wife in the mood for fun. Try to spice things up, cook and give her good Bleep. Suck her pussy dry, it helps.

Let's see your pre wedding pics first.

I'm not sure this story is real.

Foodqueen:
Where una for de see all these kain women marry sef

The decent ones are out there still searching..

Most of them are usually found in churches, that's why!

jesmond3945:
Your issue comes from your last paragraph. You are a drop out. What are you doing to upgrade? I am sorry she has no respect for you because of your status not really about your finances. Women love security and they so much believe in the security that higher education brings.
Also, try to balance things in terms of fun. For example, to spice up things in the house I play a lot of naija jams. Because of the lyrics I tend to play the instrumentals which put my wife in the mood for fun. Try to spice things up, cook and give her good Bleep. Suck her pussy dry, it helps.

There is nothing he can do to change the woman, we know their type. This is why we always drum it into the ears of men in this forum to always marry down.
It does not matter how much you earn, the moment an African woman earns more than you, you are in soup.
I hope many men reading this will learn, men marry down for your own peace of mind.

That was what our fore fathers did, they married down in age, sexual experience, exposure, wealth etc.

Marrying down is the secret to a peaceful marital life especially in this crooked and depraved world that we currently are...

I feel you guys were never on the same page in anything. No similar traits at all, Especially on the God part. I always advise people who take God seriously to look for people with like minds to marry or else there will be problems.

I don't see anything wrong with your expectations just that you guys were never on the same page especially on the religious part.

oldienavie:
Marrying down is the secret to a peaceful marital life especially in this crooked and depraved world that we currently are...

Yet the very reason why the OP found himself exactly where he is today has everything to do with the fact that he married down-- hypogamy -- to the glory of what is a savior complex that he, and lots of other Nigerian men out there seem to harbor where women are concerned?

jesmond3945:
Your issue comes from your last paragraph. You are a drop out. What are you doing to upgrade? I am sorry she has no respect for you because of your status not really about your finances. Women love security and they so much believe in the security that higher education brings.
Also, try to balance things in terms of fun. For example, to spice up things in the house I play a lot of naija jams. Because of the lyrics I tend to play the instrumentals which put my wife in the mood for fun. Try to spice things up, cook and give her good Bleep. Suck her pussy dry, it helps.

Not all men are lucky in picking a wife!

Kobojunkie:
Yet the very reason why the OP found himself exactly where he is today has everything to do with the fact that he married down-- hypogamy -- to the glory of what is a savior complex that he, and lots of other Nigerian men out there seem to harbor were it involves women.

What bullcrap is this ?
How did the OP, a school dropout marrying a MSC holder equivalent to marrying down ?
You are always clever by half.

My point is valid and you know it. There is a reason all the presidential candidates wives are going around with them.
Have you seen any male partner of a political associate in Nigeria going around with them ?

We have office of the wife of the Governor, imagine what would happen if a woman becomes governor and her husband starts moving around as the "Husband of the governor". People will call him lazy and lampoon him and tell him to find better work to do.

Regardless of how you paint it, the African man should marry down always if he wants peace of mind.

oldienavie:
What bullcrap is this ?
How did the OP, a school dropout marrying a MSC holder equivalent to marrying down ?
You are always clever by half..

OP more than explained that to you in first paragraph how he swooped in as a savior to the helpless women, yet you want to pretend he married up all so you can preach more braindeadedness to him.

ROFLMAO


There are so many Nigerian men out there married to women who have certificates and degrees for decoration, many sitting as housewifes while others do not produce or earn even 30% of what the degree is supposedly worth. Those are all men who married down and not men who married up as your economic status is based on how much you earn and not how many degrees one has to one's name..

Kobojunkie:
OP more than explained that to you in first paragraph how he swooped in as a savior to the helpless women, yet you want to pretend he married up all so you can preach more braindeadedness to him.

ROFLMAO

Haba, you should know the OP was played.
The lady knew he was stupid naive and so played on his intelligence, and yes, the OP had a saviour complex no doubt, but that does not mean he was marrying down.

Marrying down means a man marries a lady he is financially and educationally superior to, you may also add physical(beauty).

oldienavie:
■ Haba, you should know the OP was played.
The lady knew he was stupid naive and so played on his intelligence, and yes, the OP had a saviour complex no doubt, but that does not mean he was marrying down.
■ Marrying down means a man marries a lady he is financially and educationally superior to, you may also add physical(beauty).

1. The only person who played OP is Op himself. He taught could play Savior for a fully capable adult by entrapment her in marriage with him and children but that backfired on him.

2. Hypogamy is the foolish Nigerian man's dream route to earning respect and glory in marriage. Reality is that over 83% of the time it backfires. OP simply happens to have been of the unlucky majority.

Kobojunkie:
1. The only person who played OP is Op himself. He taught could play Savior for a fully capable adult by entrapment her in marriage with him and children but that backfired on him.

2. Hypogamy is the foolish Nigerian man's ideal route to earning respect and glory in marriage, and over 83% of the time it backfires.

Regardless of what you think, marrying down is the key to a happy marriage for many men. Women are wired and created to lookup to their men.
Not only in African culture, it is also like this in western culture. This is why women tend to be more attracted to muscular men and richer men, its the inferred sense of security/strength that comes with being muscular.

Since the creation of the world it has been like that and it will not change. A lot of men make this mistake and assume that trait does not exist, some like the OP find out too late.

Kobojunkie also, I think OP may have understated his deficiencies like educational level and financial state.
So if the wife thought she was marrying a HND older with 5 million naira networth and a thriving business and after marriage realised the OP is a drop out with less than 20k in his account, that may also blow up like it is now.

Leoniine:
So you're commenting on your own post and advising yourself??

I pity those who wasted time to read and or advise a troll. I smelt a rat and didnt even bother.

Sheandi:
■ My concern now is, how do I help the children out of her grip and how do I help someone who is in love with her demons delivered. I don't encourage divorce. As a matter of fact I'm a happy-marriage crusader.
■ And haven been separate for 3 years now, I can't see any remorse or repentance in her. Children are still young, 6 years old boy, 4 years old boy and 3 years old girl. None of her family as showed any concern and she has so much despised my own family and the church.
■ I recently found out she has strong narcissistic traits. My possible flaws or error as no man is perfect; my income is small but can cater for us; I may be too God minded for her liking; I so much want us to progress together and she wants to walk alone;
■ I send not sufficient upkeep for children based on my current financial status; I want to raise a godly family but she wants us to be an anyhow family; while trying to love her more, she's continually wicked to me. During festive period one year, I wanted to surprise her with a car and was putting the car in order while my wife was busy preparing to send me to prison. I'm a dropout, she has a masters; I'm a moralist but, she wants to be with dreads, sagging and maybe smokers. But if you meet her, she be like Jesus' younger sister.
■ What do you advice I do friends ?
I'm sorry it's long experience of about 7 years. Too much to write

1. The woman seems to have made it clear that she is not interested in remaining married to you so this happy-marriage counselor you claim to play, to whose benefit is it abeg?

2. Your children are currently suffering because you refuse to own up to reality. Why should your wife's family concern themselves with the kids when their father and mother are both alive?

3. She is narcissistic and you, who refuse to get a divorce so you can raise your own kids are not?

Far from being God- minded, you are too deep in your own private delusion to see that you are major reason why your own kids have not had to Live with you for 3 years, yet you complain.

4. So? It seems you have refused to learn from your experience the most important thing which is you cannot change any human being nor are you meant to try to change anyone to suit you. Looks to me like your struggles are only just beginning.

Kobojunkie:
1. The only person who played OP is Op himself. He taught could play Savior for a fully capable adult by entrapment her in marriage with him and children but that backfired on him.

2. Hypogamy is the foolish Nigerian man's dream route to earning respect and glory in marriage. Reality is that over [b]83% of the time it backfires. [/b]OP simply happens to have been of the unlucky majority.

And what statistics did you used to arrived at this conclusion?

She has already moved on and don't seem to give a hoot about you. What do you need a piece of advice for? To bring back in order to continue your misery? Your life, your choice!

Foodqueen:
Where una for de see all these kain women marry sef

The decent ones are out there still searching..

Where are the decent ones? I can't find any yet.

sisisioge:
Hmmmmm....you sounded like the controlling lack of ambition type. That is why I dey always fear overzealous rightoues churchy people. Too much holes in your story.

Anyways, regardless of who was at fault, it's been 3 years now which is time enough for you to move on. She wont be coming back. As for the kids, you cant entirely take them from her,the best you can do is sue for equal parental rights. It is well. When a man marries a woman thinking he could subservient her in the ways of the old preached by the bible, he always gets shocked out if his sockets! Time has changed. If you want good, emit good. No right thinking woman will saddle herself with an irrational man and bear the ills associated with it when she can help herself. Good luck.

What in that entire write-up suggests that the Op is irrational or are you just using words you don't know its meaning

ChybuzzDD:
What in that entire write-up suggests that the Op is irrational or are you just using words you don't know its meaning

I think I understand why the entire post flew over your head. Pele.

mrblessed:
She has already moved on and don't seem to give a hoot about you. What do you need a piece of advice for? To bring back in order to continue your misery? Your life, your choice!

No mind am. He seems to be starring in some sort of sequel to "Living in Bondage" but thinks that by complaining about the woman, he can rewrite his reality.

"He who fights and runs lives to fight another day"

Thunder!!!

Advice to younger one, chop life and do guy man before you get marriage which is very important.



If am in op shoe, would have get one side Barney that will be making me smile while I forget about her.



Ladies like bad boys, I knw that for long but don’t do it in extreme ways.

Just moderate being bad boy is okay and find your way to Christ once you are 40yrs above.

Sheandi:
I met her in church. She seem decent, godly and respectful. She seem like one who wants to serve God (Which attracted me) but, hindered by survival[b].[/b] So, I tried to help and guide her to better life like a youth pastor would do but, she fell in love. Love beclouded her that she didn't even consider the solutions I was bringing for her and after much hell from her people, we got married[b].Marriage was a huge mess as she was never available whether emotionally, spirituly or even physically. She was so lost in her job that nothing else mattered in the whole of life. Even though I don't earn much, I could meet our needs alone. She seem agreeable and contented while we courted but, immediately we got married, she became someone else. she now wants the world, especially things we do not need. Although, I saw certain red flags while we courted like terrible lies, disrespect for elders, spendthrift, undue quietness, too busy and so on. But as marriage came in, she became a big mess with lots of concentrated and baseless lies, uncultured or unethical hardworking and hard life, infidelity, stealing from work, disregard for the things of God, disregard for time, no time for self, husband or even children. It was so bad I had to be carrying 2 months old baby about as she dumped her on me the moment her maternity leave was over. I forgot to mention that she works a shift job and she does night like 3 or 4 times a week. She works on Sundays to, so she hardly comes to church. It was so bad I have to carry baby to her at work for breastfeeding. I did everything possible to get her another job or business but she frustrated it. She later became very toxic and harmful and she has the backing of her people who I believe wants to ruin her and she does not know or maybe she does not care.
In the midst of all these trouble, I was still loving her like the only woman in the world, while she treats me like shit, locks me outside, wont cook or clean the house, became very disrespectful and insubordinate.
If you think I didn't try please let me know. I tried to calm her and seek an amicable way to resolve things but she kept pushing me away till I no longer feel safe with her. It became scary eating her food or sleeping in this same room as I learnt an adulterous woman will either kill her husband or herself. And since she's enjoying her infidelity, she might kill me, so i excused myself for some days hoping when i return she would feel some remorse and we would resolve things but I was wrong. She wanted me out of the house and her life the night I returned. In the process of the short fracas, she started rough handling me and I hard to spank her to calm the situation but to my surprise, she ran inside the room, I thought she was going to throw my things out or pick something to injure me but she came out with an obvious wound on her forehead, claiming I tried stab her and before you know it, I was in the police cell headed for prison. Luckily for me, God reveals all that she did or was planning. So, I got revelations from men of God of how she wants to send me to prison with the help of her people.
My concern now is, how do I help the children out of her grip and how do I help someone who is in love with her demons delivered. I don't encourage divorce. As a matter of fact I'm a happy-marriage crusader. And haven been separate for 3 years now, I can't see any remorse or repentance in her.
Children are still young, 6 years old boy, 4 years old boy and 3 years old girl. None of her family as showed any concern and she has so much despised my own family and the church. I recently found out she has strong narcissistic traits. My possible flaws or error as no man is perfect; my income is small but can cater for us; I may be too God minded for her liking; I so much want us to progress together and she wants to walk alone; I send not sufficient upkeep for children based on my current financial status; I want to raise a godly family but she wants us to be an anyhow family; while trying to love her more, she's continually wicked to me. During festive period one year, I wanted to surprise her with a car and was putting the car in order while my wife was busy preparing to send me to prison. I'm a dropout, she has a masters; I'm a moralist but, she wants to be with dreads, sagging and maybe smokers. But if you meet her, she be like Jesus' younger sister.
What do you advice I do friends ?
I'm sorry it's long experience of about 7 years. Too much to write

can you please explain the bolded how her loving you and not vise versa led to your marrying her? I think you are being economical with the truth and trying to portray this in the light of you being without a fault

Leoniine:
So you're commenting on your own post and advising yourself??

Lol.

Or maybe he was replying to another comment without quoting it

Bro your story looks fiddle and fictional in nature but with my contribution I think marriage is meant for 2 adult matured people.
Secondly u said she has a masters what Abt u? Or probably she wants u to further ur studies too so u can be on same page.
Also u mentioned something Abt helping her when she was in problem .. YOU are d one that is ready for marriage but for her she just need someone to assit her when she is in needy ..
Almost all ur tenses u used d word 'seems' meaning u don't really know d girl in the picture very well I mean at least 80% recognition before u wed am 🤔 bros u won kill urself ..

Lastly again according to u , u saw many red flags not just 1 it's like 3 or 4 more but u said u were hoping maybe she will change then u shouldn't have ask her in marriage yet 🤔

Forget her and build your world again

Sheandi:
I met her in church. She seem decent, godly and respectful. She seem like one who wants to serve God (Which attracted me) but, hindered by survival. So, I tried to help and guide her to better life like a youth pastor would do but, she fell in love. Love beclouded her that she didn't even consider the solutions I was bringing for her and after much hell from her people, we got married. Marriage was a huge mess as she was never available whether emotionally, spirituly or even physically. She was so lost in her job that nothing else mattered in the whole of life. Even though I don't earn much, I could meet our needs alone. She seem agreeable and contented while we courted but, immediately we got married, she became someone else. she now wants the world, especially things we do not need. Although, I saw certain red flags while we courted like terrible lies, disrespect for elders, spendthrift, undue quietness, too busy and so on. But as marriage came in, she became a big mess with lots of concentrated and baseless lies, uncultured or unethical hardworking and hard life, infidelity, stealing from work, disregard for the things of God, disregard for time, no time for self, husband or even children. It was so bad I had to be carrying 2 months old baby about as she dumped her on me the moment her maternity leave was over. I forgot to mention that she works a shift job and she does night like 3 or 4 times a week. She works on Sundays to, so she hardly comes to church. It was so bad I have to carry baby to her at work for breastfeeding. I did everything possible to get her another job or business but she frustrated it. She later became very toxic and harmful and she has the backing of her people who I believe wants to ruin her and she does not know or maybe she does not care.
In the midst of all these trouble, I was still loving her like the only woman in the world, while she treats me like shit, locks me outside, wont cook or clean the house, became very disrespectful and insubordinate.
If you think I didn't try please let me know. I tried to calm her and seek an amicable way to resolve things but she kept pushing me away till I no longer feel safe with her. It became scary eating her food or sleeping in this same room as I learnt an adulterous woman will either kill her husband or herself. And since she's enjoying her infidelity, she might kill me, so i excused myself for some days hoping when i return she would feel some remorse and we would resolve things but I was wrong. She wanted me out of the house and her life the night I returned. In the process of the short fracas, she started rough handling me and I hard to spank her to calm the situation but to my surprise, she ran inside the room, I thought she was going to throw my things out or pick something to injure me but she came out with an obvious wound on her forehead, claiming I tried stab her and before you know it, I was in the police cell headed for prison. Luckily for me, God reveals all that she did or was planning. So, I got revelations from men of God of how she wants to send me to prison with the help of her people.
My concern now is, how do I help the children out of her grip and how do I help someone who is in love with her demons delivered. I don't encourage divorce. As a matter of fact I'm a happy-marriage crusader. And haven been separate for 3 years now, I can't see any remorse or repentance in her.
Children are still young, 6 years old boy, 4 years old boy and 3 years old girl. None of her family as showed any concern and she has so much despised my own family and the church. I recently found out she has strong narcissistic traits. My possible flaws or error as no man is perfect; my income is small but can cater for us; I may be too God minded for her liking; I so much want us to progress together and she wants to walk alone; I send not sufficient upkeep for children based on my current financial status; I want to raise a godly family but she wants us to be an anyhow family; while trying to love her more, she's continually wicked to me. During festive period one year, I wanted to surprise her with a car and was putting the car in order while my wife was busy preparing to send me to prison. I'm a dropout, she has a masters; I'm a moralist but, she wants to be with dreads, sagging and maybe smokers. But if you meet her, she be like Jesus' younger sister.
What do you advice I do friends ?
I'm sorry it's long experience of about 7 years. Too much to write

BigCowHornn:
Accept you have made a mistake and move on before nonsense claims your life

see mumu wey dey type....shitbrain

BigCowHornn:
Accept you have made a mistake and move on before nonsense claims your life

hello..

How about you?