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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? (4771 Views)
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Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Oluwatobike: 8:54pm On May 07, 2022 |
“I got pregnant nine years ago while dating my current husband and then the issue of marriage came up. I wasn’t working then. He told my family and I that he doesn’t want a court marriage for no reason. My parents tried talking to him, I cried and begged him severally to legalize his marriage with me but he stood his grounds not to wed me in a court. I involved his family members to help me beg him but they said, he’s old enough to make his decisions. He even refused to do a white wedding either because my church requested for a court certificate, so we ended up doing only traditional marriage. I later got tired and gave up on the matter. I was hurt and broken but I resolved to marry him like that just to save myself and my family the shame of having a baby outside wedlock. My dad was angry and disappointed in him but he didn’t care and because of that my dad vowed to see me a successful and independent woman with or without him. After I gave birth to my baby, my dad helped me secure a job with a multinational company and things started to turn around for me. I could now take care of myself and secure a future. Though I married my husband but I never forgave him from my heart and it made me not to do anything in my husband’s name. We currently have three kids together but all my properties are in the name of my children. I never used him as my next of kin either. Just last month my company decided to transfer me to a branch in Texas and the company is willing to pay for my entire family to relocate with me. My husband’s business is not doing too well and he’s willing to relocate also but we have no legal certificate to show that we are married. Now he wants us to go to the court to legalize our marriage and I have said “No” My dad has threatened to disown me if I ever go with him to court. He’s been tagging me everywhere as a bad wife who is not loyal to her husband, spoiling my family also. His family members have been calling me trying to persuade me but I told them I’m old enough to make my decisions also and I have stood my ground just like he did to me nine years ago.” What is your advice for this young mother of three? 38 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by fulaniHERDSman(m): 8:58pm On May 07, 2022 |
Law of sowing and reaping 29 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Foodqueen(f): 9:04pm On May 07, 2022 |
Old story Is the story yours Copy and paste 37 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by doggedfighter(f): 9:05pm On May 07, 2022 |
Oluwatobike, sincerely where did you copy this from? . 11 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by garriAndsugar: 9:06pm On May 07, 2022 |
After eating a plate of Amala and ewedu you now got the motivation to cook up this story 10 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by doggedfighter(f): 9:10pm On May 07, 2022 |
garriAndsugar: Why Amala and ewedu? That combo gives inspiration? 3 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:19pm On May 07, 2022 |
its not always that you have to show that you are married, eg there is what called civil partnership in the west world so your marriage is recognised by nigerian customs as marriage in the west world it can recognised as civil partnership whereby family laws apply to as well, meaning you also taken as married people when applying for the visa married legal or not is not really a single reason that you might get a visa |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Uniquetani1(f): 9:22pm On May 07, 2022 |
Foodqueen: Sounding like a Yoruba movie I watched sometimes ago. At the end of the movies, the husband went to forge wedding certificate. The company discovered and the woman was arrested along with her husband. She lose the job and she was imprisoned for forgery 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by boxer022(m): 9:29pm On May 07, 2022 |
To be sincere, I don't see anything bad in what you are doing, because a adage says "one good turn deserve another "He thought he was wise when he blatantly refused to marry you legally only to come now and demand it because of your promotion. You are not wicked or selfish. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by socialmediaman: 9:39pm On May 07, 2022 |
OP if your story isn't original, courtesy demands that you credit your source(s). Checks on this story came back as 100% plagiarized: https://www.facebook.com/calebcanaan1/posts/544775459388642:0 https://www.facebook.com/Newsflashngofficial/photos/a.105615878208672/121357776634482 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by shilenji(m): 9:43pm On May 07, 2022 |
This karma hits different 5 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Kobojunkie: 9:49pm On May 07, 2022 |
Oluwatobike: |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Naijanascam: 9:55pm On May 07, 2022 |
doggedfighter: Yes when added Kogi weed and shekpee |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Kobojunkie: 9:55pm On May 07, 2022 |
ZIMDRILL:Your assumption is wrong! In Nigeria, all marriages are required to be registered in the courts to be considered valid. So those who do traditional marriage without so much as registering the marriage at at least the local government marriage office, are not considered married by law. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by virginchaser(m): 10:12pm On May 07, 2022 |
Shebi, Shell or Mobil will lay you off one day and family will be your comforter. Also, your palee (dad) will also kick bucket and go too. We men can be somehow atimes but it takes good women to mend fences. The issue ought not be an outside decision nor discussion. Be as it may, forgive and forget. If i am your husband i would not bother myself over such. I will keep my pride. 7 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by bukatyne(f): 10:31pm On May 07, 2022 |
virginchaser: Since you men can be somehow, the fictional OP has decided to be somehow also. Nobody has the monopoly of madness so when you are tempted to be 'somehow' remember that the recipient of your actions also has the capacity to be 'somehow'. 19 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by gratefulheart(m): 10:33pm On May 07, 2022 |
Copy cat Oluwatobike: 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Saintmary(f): 10:42pm On May 07, 2022 |
virginchaser: Wee you keep kwayet? If you as a husband refuses to marry a woman in court just to make her marriage to you insecure, then you deserve anything she does to you. ANYTHING! Go and eat your pride. Can you imagine "we men are somehow" yen yen yen. Na good woman dey suffer, that is why Osinachi Nwachukwu died. Nonsense. 13 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Saintmary(f): 10:43pm On May 07, 2022 |
Oluwatobike: I don't care if you copied this story. If evil husbands can suffer Karma like this, then this world will be a better place. 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by NoToPile: 10:45pm On May 07, 2022 |
virginchaser: Loool @ pride Lool @ good women mend fences, so the man should be destroying while the woman keep mending the fence abi? 10 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by TheWolfen(m): 10:47pm On May 07, 2022 |
Oluwatobike:NO So out of the blues he suddenly want a court marriage? I don't know but it seams kind of a suspicious move to me. Why can't he stick to the decision he made that he only want traditional marriage. A man should have his own principles and stick to it. That is what makes a man a man. Now that he is sending threats makes it more suspicious. She should analyse the situation before making any move because if she is married to a greedy and selfish husband then i can assure you that her life might just be in danger... She is in the better position to know her husband kinda person. Marriage is not by force o. There is always option for divorce. I cannot let one person disturb my peace of mind for anything in this life |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by socialmediaman: 10:51pm On May 07, 2022 |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Echoban: 11:17pm On May 07, 2022 |
Saintmary: Oya now let her go and marry another man who LL make her have legal marriage certificate she can travel with, she should do that fast and move all her children asap. Hope she LL b alright with that Shey una no get sense ni. Bible says forgiveness gives u peace of mi d and save u from unnecessary wahala.. I'm not saying the man didn't fuckup but u do t need to avenge everything. Do d needful and see the man regretting, appreciating and loving her better this time with all sincerity of heart. No b everything b gbas gbos abeg. |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by JovialJune(f): 11:26pm On May 07, 2022 |
Saintmary: Iseeeee...... 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by JovialJune(f): 11:30pm On May 07, 2022 |
NoToPile: In retrospect, it was the same "fences" May was "mending" all this years that made Yul marry another wife, that was her reward for being a good woman/wife. Evil people. 6 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Kobojunkie: 11:38pm On May 07, 2022 |
Echoban:The "Bible" said "forgive", but it didn't say to forget. Also the reason we are called to forgive others is mainly so that God will forgive us our own sins - it isn't meant for peace of mind since nowhere are you told that the same people you forgive will cease their 'assault' on you when you forgive. In addition, you are called on to be as cunning as snakes, yet as wise as doves - Matthew 10 vs 16. It is the wise who proceed with caution where fools don't. Stop dragging God and that which concerns God down abeg! 1 Like |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by socialmediaman: 12:25am On May 08, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: Nigerian law recognizes both customary (traditional) and statutory (registry, court) marriages side by side (both are legal, read more on https://www.jstor.org/stable/27876669 and http://nji.gov.ng/images/Workshop_Papers/2017/Induction_Newly_Appointed_Judges/s10b.pdf). When issues arise from traditional marriages, they are handled by customary laws. The US also recognizes traditional marriages (and the couple can simply do an affidavit in court or get a certificate from their local registry to prove their traditional marriage) according to this document https://www.justice.gov/eoir/page/file/1342126/download TYPES OF MARRIAGE IN NIGERIA Other source: https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/when-religious-traditional-marriage-ceremonies-are-valid-immigration-purposes.html |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Kobojunkie: 1:18am On May 08, 2022 |
socialmediaman:You are missing the point which is that every marriage is Nigeria is required by law to be registered in order to be considered legal. Whether it be traditional or court or whatever else, the law decrees they all be registered. A marriage is registered by simply obtaining a certificate at the local registry or at the court indicating the couples marriage is registered. If such a certificate is not signed at the time the marriage took place, it means the marriage was not legally recognized under Nigerian law. A couple can obtain a certificate/register a marriage anytime they choose to but the marriage is then only recognized from that point on. 2 Likes |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by NwaAmaikpe: 1:32am On May 08, 2022 |
Don't mind all those ignorant people making you feel that you are being wicked and selfish to your husband. In my honest opinion, you are not being wicked and selfish to him, you are just being a woman. Once the going becomes good for a vaginarian, she becomes wicked, forgetful, vengeful and selfish by default. And that's why I can never forgive any man who sacrifices his life for a woman. 11 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by ZIMDRILL(m): 1:33am On May 08, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: you got no idea of immigration and visa, its not nigerian embassy that will issue visa in this circumstanes but the the american embassy and it will consider how they have been living |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by babajeje123(m): 1:57am On May 08, 2022 |
Oluwatobike:(Singing) This is super story... |
Re: Am I Being Wicked And Selfish To My Husband? by Mindlog: 1:58am On May 08, 2022 |
ZIMDRILL: So based on how they have been living going by the story (which has been recycled severally), will the American embassy consider them married even without their traditional marriage being registered in their local registry? 1 Like |
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